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Gosh darned oral sex - 6/4/2007 8:27:49 PM

Adelphus

Posts: 87
Joined: 2/3/2004
Status: offline

Because I have to know once and for all, would a Mistress take a female (male, whatever) sub if they had (giving) oral sex as a hard limit? I have trouble with open mouth kissing and an aversion to collars but both of those I could see working through in the near future. Oral sex just freaks me out.
My last Domme dumped me over this and said no one else would want someone who wouldn't 'service' them. Is this true? I mean seriously, is everything else I have to offer null and void if I can't do that?
I know everyone's different and such, so what I want to know is, would YOU take a sub with this hang up?

Post #: 1

RE: Gosh darned oral sex - 6/4/2007 8:29:32 PM

MsKatHouston

Posts: 1909
Joined: 6/7/2006
From: Houston, TX
Status: offline

I would in a service position or for a play partner but not one with whom I wanted a sexual relationship.

_____________________________

-Kat

~If you can't be a good example, you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning~

(in reply to Adelphus)

Post #: 2

RE: Gosh darned oral sex - 6/4/2007 8:37:51 PM

SDFemDom4cuck

Posts: 2809
Joined: 5/23/2005
From: P'burgh PA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Adelphus

Because I have to know once and for all, would a Mistress take a female (male, whatever) sub if they had (giving) oral sex as a hard limit? I have trouble with open mouth kissing and an aversion to collars but both of those I could see working through in the near future. Oral sex just freaks me out.
My last Domme dumped me over this and said no one else would want someone who wouldn't 'service' them. Is this true? I mean seriously, is everything else I have to offer null and void if I can't do that?
I know everyone's different and such, so what I want to know is, would YOU take a sub with this hang up?

Would I personally? No, not for the type of relationship I seek. It's far too important a part of intimacy in my book. For a service position, perhaps, but again I'm not searching for that type of situation. However simply because I (or other's) would not take on someone with this aversion it doesn't mean there aren't Dommes that won't have any issue at all with this type of limit.

_____________________________

Ms Jo

She dealt her pretty words like Blades -
How glittering they shone -
And every One unbared a Nerve
Or wantoned with a Bone -

I want a sensitive man - one who'll cry when I hit him.

(in reply to Adelphus)

Post #: 3

RE: Gosh darned oral sex - 6/4/2007 8:48:49 PM

Lockit

Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

Maybe I am weird, but I would have no problem with a submissive having an issue with oral sex. I would consider all things and if all else was okay, that would be okay. Of course I would be working on the issues that my submissive had with oral sex. I would try to help him get through it, although I wouldn't push him to do it if it were a hard limit.

Lockit

(in reply to MsKatHouston)

Post #: 4

RE: Gosh darned oral sex - 6/4/2007 9:25:33 PM

GoddessDustyGold

Posts: 2822
Joined: 4/11/2004
From: Arizona
Status: offline

It would not be a deal breaker for Me.

_____________________________

Dusty
They that give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety
B Franklin
Don't blame Me ~ I didn't vote for either of them
The Hidden Kingdom

(in reply to Adelphus)

Post #: 5

RE: Gosh darned oral sex - 6/4/2007 9:27:48 PM

Lashra

Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline

Not for a primary relationship, as oral sex is a big part of it. However as a strictly service (as in cook, maid, gardener) slave, yes I would. Or if he were a painslut that I played with sure, as I do love giving a good hard beating.

~Lashra

_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”

(in reply to Adelphus)

Post #: 6

RE: Gosh darned oral sex - 6/4/2007 10:38:12 PM

MistressLorelei

Posts: 997
Joined: 11/7/2005
Status: offline

I so love being the recipient of oral worship. It would be very difficult for me to not have it as part of a long-term relationship. I prefer to have a submissive who doesn't have too many 'hang-ups' in general, as I don't like to be confined in what I can and can't do with a male I am involved with. I would likely come to resent the fact that I had to avoid demanding oral.... or worse yet, that he didn't want to give me something I like so much, or that he could derive no pleasure in being allowed such an honor. I don't want to feel that any part of my anatomy would 'freak out' my partner.

On the other hand.... well, when I began this post I thought there was another hand, perhaps that I could become so bonded with a person that the oral issue wouldn't be an issue, but honestly, I don't know that I could ever bond with a male to the point where a long-term intimate relationship was conceivable, if oral worship was against the rules.

(in reply to Lashra)

Post #: 7

RE: Gosh darned oral sex - 6/5/2007 1:06:30 AM

canupleaseme

Posts: 775
Joined: 7/9/2006
Status: offline

I think I stand pretty much with everyone else on the whole depending what kind of service I was after. If my boy had giving me or recieving oral as a hard limit then No I wouldnt be interested , unless something really awful had happened to him and he had a reason that was just for that. When it comes to my maid then I would have no problem, she isnt there to service me sexually so it wouldnt make a difference.

_____________________________

Proud mistress

(in reply to MistressLorelei)

Post #: 8

RE: Gosh darned oral sex - 6/5/2007 4:13:23 AM

MstrssPassion

Posts: 2444
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: West Palm Beach, FL
Status: offline

squeaker...

I skimmed over your profile a bit

To be honest there are multiple things you mention that would deter someone from interest... other than the oral sex thing. Maybe it is a combination of all of the things that limit your availability to another.

There are also several things that may in fact be of interest... but like the old saying goes... different strokes for different folks.

In the end, when an individual has hard limits on things that are often viewed as quite benign & limitations (such as already having a primary partnership) the pool tends to thin out considerably. You are going to face far more rejection & incompatibility than those who have absolutely no limits or outside influences to consider when seeking out someone to interact with.

Be patient

_____________________________

MstrssPassion

(in reply to canupleaseme)

Post #: 9

RE: Gosh darned oral sex - 6/5/2007 4:22:31 AM

YesMistressIrish

Posts: 1135
Joined: 5/1/2007
From: Calif
Status: offline

Love me romantically: Worship me, worship my pussy. I couldn't be with someone long term, male of female that didn't worship at my sweet center. It is tremendously intimate and exciting to have someone deeply ecstatic over licking me into a frenzy and off into sub-space. It's more intimate than intercourse in my book. Besides: It's nectar!

Serve me in the house, yard, etc or play with me, no pussy worship needed.

“Wisdom is oft times nearer when we stoop than when we soar.” William Wordsworth

(in reply to canupleaseme)

Post #: 10

RE: Gosh darned oral sex - 6/5/2007 4:33:55 AM

tallicedvnowhip

Posts: 5
Joined: 5/30/2007
From: Seattle
Status: offline

I don't allow anyone in a sub role the opportunity to perform oral sex because it feels submissive to me.
(please don't ask me to explain that, because I can't. It just does..that's why!)
But I would reject a sub who didn't enjoy it,
for denying me the satisfaction of withholding it from them.
So go figure!

_____________________________

Forever,
Summer

(in reply to MstrssPassion)

Post #: 11

RE: Gosh darned oral sex - 6/5/2007 4:56:00 AM

LadyeSaige

Posts: 18
Joined: 4/19/2007
Status: offline

Not for a primary relationship. For a secondary relationship where we were not going to be sexually involved, fine.

_____________________________

Ladye Saige

I can sometimes be found on AIM and Yahoo under the same name

(in reply to tallicedvnowhip)

Post #: 12

RE: Gosh darned oral sex - 6/5/2007 5:12:10 AM

Sekhemet

Posts: 127
Joined: 7/10/2004
From: Canada
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyeSaige

Not for a primary relationship. For a secondary relationship where we were not going to be sexually involved, fine.

Who are you - CLINTON???
its called oral SEX because it is sexual involvement - a hooker charges to do it cause ... its sexual involvement - his cock in yer face -is sexual involvement ... your cunt on his nose IS SEXUAL involvement!!

oralSEX - is sex that's why people like those who replied HERE get genital warts all in their throats and bellies and it CAN NOT be treated ... you can get EVERY STD from ORAL SEX, that you'd get from cunt/cock sex - ok - it IS sex, it is not safer for anything but pregnancy ...

and its is a relationship.
Course if you disagree take a moment to figure out how you'd explain it to the BF who walks in on your NONSEXUAL activity ... or HIS GF - SIMPLE RULE OF THUMB: if ya aint doing it with mom in the room - its sex.

And I don't do oral - I have no desire to catch something in such a way to kill Myself - warts orally - will kill you - they turn cancerous. Cervical cancer - is warts ... throat cancer, is warts - stomach cancer they now suspect - is genital warts ... yeah it aint sex, you just get STD's from it.
And ghonnoreah and syphillis and the rest - you can so get it orally - a yeast infection will become thrush if it's oral exact same thing ...

You guys - are scary though man - education on these topics is definitely not a group strong point huh: SSC goes right out the window ...

_____________________________

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Where fetish and desire are explored

(in reply to LadyeSaige)

Post #: 13

RE: Gosh darned oral sex - 6/5/2007 5:15:17 AM

MsSonnetMarwood

Posts: 1898
Joined: 2/10/2005
From: Eastern Shore, Maryland
Status: offline

I think folks are quite aware that oral sex = sexual involvement. I think what they're saying is in THEIR secondary relationships or service oriented relationships, there may be BDSM activities but not sexual ones (fornication, oral sex, etc.). Therefor, if a sub has an aversion to oral sex, while that person would not be a primary relationship, they may consider them for not-so-involved levels of relationships.

quote:

And I don't do oral - I have no desire to catch something in such a way to kill Myself - warts orally - will kill you - they turn cancerous. Cervical cancer - is warts ... throat cancer, is warts - stomach cancer they now suspect - is genital warts ... yeah it aint sex, you just get STD's from it.
And ghonnoreah and syphillis and the rest - you can so get it orally - a yeast infection will become thrush if it's oral exact same thing ...

Does this mean you are not interested in having any kind of genital sex with anyone, because you can catch all those diseases as well from that?

< Message edited by MsSonnetMarwood -- 6/5/2007 5:25:24 AM >

_____________________________

~Ms. Sonnet Marwood~

Deja Moo: The feeling you've heard this bull somewhere before.

(in reply to Sekhemet)

Post #: 14

RE: Gosh darned oral sex - 6/5/2007 5:25:55 AM

mythi

Posts: 257
Joined: 2/25/2007
From: Naples, FL
Status: offline

I'm not a Mistress, tho I have been before. But the bigger issue is that I dont particularly care for receiving oral sex. (So naturally it's one of Master's favorite things to do.

) I'm not the only woman either, tho we are rare of course. I'd suggest you keep looking til you find a Mistress who simply doesnt like it or find it that important.

_____________________________

“The truth doesn’t change based on our ability to stomach it.”
Flannery O’Connor

(in reply to MsSonnetMarwood)

Post #: 15

RE: Gosh darned oral sex - 6/5/2007 5:28:26 AM

MsKatHouston

Posts: 1909
Joined: 6/7/2006
From: Houston, TX
Status: offline

I am not quite sure I understand where the hostility is coming from. Where on earth did you get the idea that any of us thought oral sex did not equate to sexual activity? I think, in fact, this is the point we are all making. Many of us want sexual activity in a primary relationship. Many of us want oral sex to be a part of that sexual activity. However, most of us have also said in a secondary capacity, where sexual activity in any form is not a requirement, oral service as a limit would be acceptable. In other words, if we don't want to have sex with you, your limit for no oral matters not.

Now you may not do oral and that is your prerogative. But do not assume that those of us who do will catch a disease. Whether oral or vaginal sex, there is a risk of getting a disease. There are also ways of testing and preventing them. Just because we have oral sex does not mean we do so unsafely. I really have not the foggiest idea how you made these leaps from what was being said by many to your assumptions as to what that meant.

_____________________________

-Kat

~If you can't be a good example, you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning~

(in reply to Sekhemet)

Post #: 16

RE: Gosh darned oral sex - 6/5/2007 5:42:01 AM

Adelphus

Posts: 87
Joined: 2/3/2004
Status: offline

Hmm...this looks...sort of promising.....
I don't think I wouldn't be anyone's primary as I'm already married, but I do enjoy most other kinds of sex, I'd miss that in a partner.
I suppose oral sex equates to me the way others may have felt when they were first presented with the idea of anal. ("you want to put your what in where??") I mean, who knows, with the right person over a long period of time that could change. I just put it out there as a hard limit because otherwise people seem to expect it right away, or at all. The truth is they may not be the one who gets me past my reservations and then they'll accuse me of leading them on.
Of course I told my last Domme up and down it wasn't going to happen and she still accused me of leading her on.;-p

(in reply to MsKatHouston)

Post #: 17

RE: Gosh darned oral sex - 6/5/2007 5:42:40 AM

earthycouple

Posts: 4462
Joined: 2/19/2006
Status: offline

I agree Kat.

To the OP, I enjoy oral but it is by no means something I HAVE to engage in. It would not be a deal breaker for me. *S* lmao if it were deal breaker material I'd not be married now...my poor husband rarely receives oral from me.

_____________________________

D~

Seeking, searching, hoping, living, loving, jumping. So what's new with you?

(in reply to MsKatHouston)

Post #: 18

RE: Gosh darned oral sex - 6/5/2007 6:45:12 AM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Adelphus

Because I have to know once and for all, would a Mistress take a female (male, whatever) sub if they had (giving) oral sex as a hard limit? I have trouble with open mouth kissing and an aversion to collars but both of those I could see working through in the near future. Oral sex just freaks me out.
My last Domme dumped me over this and said no one else would want someone who wouldn't 'service' them. Is this true? I mean seriously, is everything else I have to offer null and void if I can't do that?
I know everyone's different and such, so what I want to know is, would YOU take a sub with this hang up?

It entirely depends on the type of sub you are going to be. If sexual submission isn't your thing and isn't what your Ds dynamic is about, why should your sexual limits even be an issue? I've trained women before and sex wasn't what either of us wanted. We did SM and we did service of the housekeeper or personal assistant nature.

If however you want to offer sexual service or submission then you may have to work on giving as well as receiving. I for one would call someone who only receives in a BDSM dynamic a bottom rather than a submissive. Absolutely nothing wrong with bottoms just not the same as a sub (and definitely not the same as a slave) in my useage.

I suggest looking at the Miss Abernathy books. There are some good "tests" in there to help one think about what type of submission or slavery one is best suited for.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to Adelphus)

Post #: 19

RE: Gosh darned oral sex - 6/5/2007 6:45:17 AM

hardbodysub

Posts: 1654
Joined: 8/7/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sekhemet

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyeSaige

Not for a primary relationship. For a secondary relationship where we were not going to be sexually involved, fine.

Who are you - CLINTON???
its called oral SEX because it is sexual involvement - a hooker charges to do it cause ... its sexual involvement - his cock in yer face -is sexual involvement ... your cunt on his nose IS SEXUAL involvement!!

oralSEX - is sex that's why people like those who replied HERE get genital warts all in their throats and bellies and it CAN NOT be treated ... you can get EVERY STD from ORAL SEX, that you'd get from cunt/cock sex - ok - it IS sex, it is not safer for anything but pregnancy ...

and its is a relationship.
Course if you disagree take a moment to figure out how you'd explain it to the BF who walks in on your NONSEXUAL activity ... or HIS GF - SIMPLE RULE OF THUMB: if ya aint doing it with mom in the room - its sex.

And I don't do oral - I have no desire to catch something in such a way to kill Myself - warts orally - will kill you - they turn cancerous. Cervical cancer - is warts ... throat cancer, is warts - stomach cancer they now suspect - is genital warts ... yeah it aint sex, you just get STD's from it.
And ghonnoreah and syphillis and the rest - you can so get it orally - a yeast infection will become thrush if it's oral exact same thing ...

You guys - are scary though man - education on these topics is definitely not a group strong point huh: SSC goes right out the window ...

Hello??? I think you misconstrued what LadyeSaige said. Remember, the OP was about a sub's hard limit regarding oral sex. He did NOT want to do it. LadyeSaige appears to be saying that she requires oral sex in a primary relationship, but since a secondary relationship would not have sexual involvement, the sub's hard limit wouldn't be a problem.

(in reply to Sekhemet)

Post #: 20

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