DO you think that someone with a mental problem should not be involved in the lifestyle ?

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All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Polls and Other Random Stupidity >> DO you think that someone with a mental problem should not be involved in the lifestyle ?

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[Poll]

DO you think that someone with a mental problem should not be involved in the lifestyle ?

Dose SOmeone not belong in the Lifestyle if they are Mentaly disturb ?

20% (8)

NO mental problems do not have anyting to do with lifestyle ?

20% (8)

I have some Mental heath issues and i am fine

60% (24)

Total Votes : 40

(last vote on : 2/4/2008 3:14:05 AM)
(Poll will run till: -- )

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DO you think that someone with a mental problem should ... - 6/5/2007 9:53:50 PM

lonlyrossInNeed

Posts: 3144
Joined: 10/8/2005
Status: offline

Ok here is a poll i decided to put this up not shur if it has ever come up befor but here it is from me
I am Bipolar i dont hide it
But today i got a email from someone and when i was speaking with this Domme i told her i was Bipolar and she instantly Told me i dont belong in the lifestyle its not somthing that should be mixed together
I dont email her back anything other then that rude
what do you all think

_____________________________

To know what pain is hurts the most
pain is not just a wound in your flesh
pain is a dagger in your heart

Post #: 1

RE: DO you think that someone with a mental problem sho... - 6/5/2007 10:00:20 PM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

I am bipolar as well. It CAN cause problems, and I understand why some who dont have or know much about the disorder would fear it. It doesnt mean we shouldnt be in the lifestyle, it just means we had better have a very clear self understanding before allowing ourselves into certain play, and knowing when our moods and mindsets are not in the right places, even if itis what we really want. It does however, mean that our partners have to learn about it.

DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to lonlyrossInNeed)

Post #: 2

RE: DO you think that someone with a mental problem sho... - 6/5/2007 10:02:22 PM

lonlyrossInNeed

Posts: 3144
Joined: 10/8/2005
Status: offline

Thank you i am so happy to see that someone can relate with me right now and i havnt heard it in this waybefor
I know that i have stress alot with being bipolar but when i am in My subspace i am free and i get so mouch out that is good

ross.g

quote:

ORIGINAL: DiurnalVampire

I am bipolar as well. It CAN cause problems, and I understand why some who dont have or know much about the disorder would fear it. It doesnt mean we shouldnt be in the lifestyle, it just means we had better have a very clear self understanding before allowing ourselves into certain play, and knowing when our moods and mindsets are not in the right places, even if itis what we really want. It does however, mean that our partners have to learn about it.

DV

_____________________________

To know what pain is hurts the most
pain is not just a wound in your flesh
pain is a dagger in your heart

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)

Post #: 3

RE: DO you think that someone with a mental problem sho... - 6/5/2007 10:08:45 PM

spanklette

Posts: 882
Joined: 2/22/2005
Status: offline

I think some mental problems call in the question of consent, severe depression being one of them.

I don't, however think that people with mental or mood disorders should be nixed from the lifestyle...as long as they are aware of the problems and are properly treated for them.

_____________________________

~spanklette~

"The important thing is this: to be able at any moment to sacrifice what we are for what we could become. " Charles du Bois

"Please don't shout, can't you see I'm not listening." Billie Myers

(in reply to lonlyrossInNeed)

Post #: 4

RE: DO you think that someone with a mental problem sho... - 6/5/2007 10:08:48 PM

WhiplashSmile

Posts: 1472
Joined: 6/8/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: lonlyrossInNeed

Ok here is a poll i decided to put this up not shur if it has ever come up befor but here it is from me
I am Bipolar i dont hide it
But today i got a email from someone and when i was speaking with this Domme i told her i was Bipolar and she instantly Told me i dont belong in the lifestyle its not somthing that should be mixed together
I dont email her back anything other then that rude
what do you all think

My heart goes out to you. My personal thoughts/view on this have changed a lot. I feel you deserve a fair shake of the stick, a fair chance.. I am feeling a little bit of guilt and remorse at the moment.   I was involved in a relationship where she was BiPolar and it was very difficult for me emotionally.   However, it is not fair of me to judge or assume that everybody who is BiPolar will be the same way. Medication, understanding and empathy goes a long way. I believe this is something that can be dealt with and worked out in a D/s relationship.

Right now, I'm somewhat emotional because in a sense I feel as if I had failed to do everything I could. However there were other issues besides her being BiPolar that came into play.   This is a difficult thing for me.. Yes, in a sense I feel I failed to be the proper Domly Dom Master... I am deeply sorry to hear about this rejection.   I've been wrestling with this myself, as to if I can have a good D/s relationship with anybody Bi-polar.   I at one time was refusing to be with anybody Bi-Polar on my profile, then I adjusted it to being accepting if they take meds. However, one my number one position on my Don't bother list is Bi-Polar... I'm afraid this does little to promote anything in your favor or anybody that is Bi-Polar...

I have a difficult struggle with this in my mindset. This is probally the most heart breaking or emotionally touching post I have read in awhile now. Dare I admit it.. my damn domly ass is tearing up a little right now...

This subject really hits close to home and at my heart as well...

< Message edited by WhiplashSmile -- 6/5/2007 10:12:37 PM >

(in reply to lonlyrossInNeed)

Post #: 5

RE: DO you think that someone with a mental problem sho... - 6/5/2007 10:16:50 PM

LadyPaige

Posts: 187
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

If you have a handle on it, I don't see the problem. People with mental health issues will face challenges in relationships weather they are "lifestyle" or not. At least we (and I say we very loosly) have "rules to live by".

(in reply to WhiplashSmile)

Post #: 6

RE: DO you think that someone with a mental problem sho... - 6/5/2007 10:23:01 PM

michaelOfGeorgia

Posts: 4253
Status: offline

i suffer from depression/anxiety and have mood swings to boot...so what's the big deal anyway?

_____________________________

Are we having fun, yet?

(in reply to LadyPaige)

Post #: 7

RE: DO you think that someone with a mental problem sho... - 6/5/2007 10:23:29 PM

lonlyrossInNeed

Posts: 3144
Joined: 10/8/2005
Status: offline

Thank you very mouch for your kind words

ross.g

quote:

ORIGINAL: WhiplashSmile

quote:

ORIGINAL: lonlyrossInNeed

Ok here is a poll i decided to put this up not shur if it has ever come up befor but here it is from me
I am Bipolar i dont hide it
But today i got a email from someone and when i was speaking with this Domme i told her i was Bipolar and she instantly Told me i dont belong in the lifestyle its not somthing that should be mixed together
I dont email her back anything other then that rude
what do you all think

My heart goes out to you. My personal thoughts/view on this have changed a lot. I feel you deserve a fair shake of the stick, a fair chance.. I am feeling a little bit of guilt and remorse at the moment.   I was involved in a relationship where she was BiPolar and it was very difficult for me emotionally.   However, it is not fair of me to judge or assume that everybody who is BiPolar will be the same way. Medication, understanding and empathy goes a long way. I believe this is something that can be dealt with and worked out in a D/s relationship.

Right now, I'm somewhat emotional because in a sense I feel as if I had failed to do everything I could. However there were other issues besides her being BiPolar that came into play.   This is a difficult thing for me.. Yes, in a sense I feel I failed to be the proper Domly Dom Master... I am deeply sorry to hear about this rejection.   I've been wrestling with this myself, as to if I can have a good D/s relationship with anybody Bi-polar.   I at one time was refusing to be with anybody Bi-Polar on my profile, then I adjusted it to being accepting if they take meds. However, one my number one position on my Don't bother list is Bi-Polar... I'm afraid this does little to promote anything in your favor or anybody that is Bi-Polar...

I have a difficult struggle with this in my mindset. This is probally the most heart breaking or emotionally touching post I have read in awhile now. Dare I admit it.. my damn domly ass is tearing up a little right now...

This subject really hits close to home and at my heart as well...

_____________________________

To know what pain is hurts the most
pain is not just a wound in your flesh
pain is a dagger in your heart

(in reply to WhiplashSmile)

Post #: 8

RE: DO you think that someone with a mental problem sho... - 6/5/2007 10:24:50 PM

lonlyrossInNeed

Posts: 3144
Joined: 10/8/2005
Status: offline

Well also for some out that that might be curiouse i do see a Dr and my Phciatrist and Dr's Know about my lifestyle CHoices also
They know becouse i trust them anought to tell them and for them to know plays a great deal in my treatment

ross.g

_____________________________

To know what pain is hurts the most
pain is not just a wound in your flesh
pain is a dagger in your heart

(in reply to lonlyrossInNeed)

Post #: 9

RE: DO you think that someone with a mental problem sho... - 6/5/2007 11:10:28 PM

Lordandmaster

Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline

I've been involved with one or two people with mental problems, and let's just say it didn't work out too well. In fact, the older I get, the less patience I have for people with obvious emotional issues. Go get'em solved, and then maybe we can talk. It's not MY fault you're all screwed up.

(in reply to lonlyrossInNeed)

Post #: 10

RE: DO you think that someone with a mental problem sho... - 6/5/2007 11:14:52 PM

tenderfootmaster

Posts: 484
Joined: 6/1/2007
From: Ft. Leavenworth, KS
Status: offline

I am Bipolar and am currently taking 300mg of lithium twice a day to keep me relatively stable. I think its only dangerous if you do not get you condition under control.

(in reply to Lordandmaster)

Post #: 11

RE: DO you think that someone with a mental problem sho... - 6/5/2007 11:51:16 PM

LafayetteLady

Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline

I would have to say that it greatly depends on the mental issue that exists and the "side" they play on. I know that many here have various problems that are considered "mental issues" (and some people who just appear mental) but a lot of them are dealing with them, taking medication, have it under control, etc.

Let's be real though. As a general rule, if someone is a schizophrenic or suffers from multiple personality disorder, should they really be actively participating in this lifestyle? I don't think I would want a dom/master who hears voices in his head and people with MPD have so obviously not dealt with their issues, they are not equipped for this lifestyle.

I have never understood the seemingly obsessive need some people have to encourage people to remain active in this lifestyle while seeking treatment. That to me is another form of insanity.

In the long run, we all have some "mental" issue of some kind in the form of "baggage". I just want to make sure that the "issues" of the person I am with are minimal and can never result in danger to me or anyone else. But then again, if I were seeking a vanilla relationship, I have the same requirement. So maybe it isn't really a question of should someone with severe mental issues begin new intimate relationships of any kind while their issue is still not under control? My answer to that is the same. NO

(in reply to tenderfootmaster)

Post #: 12

RE: DO you think that someone with a mental problem sho... - 6/6/2007 2:27:40 AM

colouredin

Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline

Yea i agree witha few comments that it is both dependant on the problem and the individual, schitzophrenia for example i could understant that as being a problem, and i had a vanilla relationship with someone with severe manic depression and he couldnt function in that. I think it does have issues but many mental problems can be controlled and also the individual knows better than anyone what they can do. Another problem may be with self harmers, they may replace that in a sub relationship or dominants could enact this on their submissive, in that case its far more worrying because bothe members have to keep things safe.

(in reply to LafayetteLady)

Post #: 13

RE: DO you think that someone with a mental problem sho... - 6/6/2007 3:12:19 AM

LadyEllen

Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline

I'm not sure if psychological/psychiatric problems necessarily preclude anyone. Its more about how people behave that governs things in my opinion - and lets face it, there are enough people who behave in an unsuitable manner who are not subject to any such diagnosis. Whilst mental illness can occasion unsuitable behaviour, equally it doesnt necessarily do so or have to do so.

As long as a person behaves in an appropriate manner, then there is no problem but the fear of those with whom he/she comes into contact. Whats interesting is, that those with whom I come into contact who have even the most seriously regarded conditions (schizophrenia for example), are perfectly OK people in terms of behaviour - a little odd perhaps, but not dangerous. Its only when they face the prejudice and rejection of others because of their conditions that (surprise) they become angry and then might become dangerous - but then is that a response arising from their condition or more likely the same reaction those deemed healthy might have were the prejudice and rejection aimed at them?

E
(who apparently has an incurable personality disorder in terms of gender identity, but who hasnt killed yet)

_____________________________

In a test against the leading brand, 9 out of 10 participants couldnt tell the difference. Dumbasses.

(in reply to colouredin)

Post #: 14

RE: DO you think that someone with a mental problem sho... - 6/6/2007 4:40:03 AM

Viridana

Posts: 754
Status: offline

Mental health disorders span a large spectrum. Some disorders are mild and have no influence whether people are able to be involved in the lifestyle or not. Some are more serious and it could be more debatable whether the lifestyle is the right place to be in. Thankfully, serious mental diseases are relatively rare and really the only incidences I'd have any reservations were if the mental condition would somehow inhibit the person to make a rational, informed descisions about themselves or their lives.
But in general I think mental health disorders have no relevance whether people should be in the lifestyle or not.

(in reply to LadyEllen)

Post #: 15

RE: DO you think that someone with a mental problem sho... - 6/6/2007 6:41:13 AM

Ai0n

Posts: 3
Joined: 5/31/2007
Status: offline

i think that it's perfectly fine, and have noticed that a fair amount of people here, as well as in life admit to suffering with some sort of mental instablilty.
And i agree it was very rude of them to say that you shouldn't be in this lifestyle because of your disease. Though a mental illness like bipolar could mix badly with some parts of this lifestyle, you will just have to find a patient and understaning partner.
And, of course, you should always tell your partner/future partner about your illness...

_____________________________

Owned by LordOfDarkness3a.

(in reply to Viridana)

Post #: 16

RE: DO you think that someone with a mental problem sho... - 6/6/2007 6:45:06 AM

earthycouple

Posts: 4462
Joined: 2/19/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

I've been involved with one or two people with mental problems, and let's just say it didn't work out too well. In fact, the older I get, the less patience I have for people with obvious emotional issues. Go get'em solved, and then maybe we can talk. It's not MY fault you're all screwed up.

Mental illness and emotional issues are not always one in the same. Anyone can have emotional issues once in a while.

_____________________________

D~

Seeking, searching, hoping, living, loving, jumping. So what's new with you?

(in reply to Lordandmaster)

Post #: 17

RE: DO you think that someone with a mental problem sho... - 6/6/2007 6:58:22 AM

SweetSarijane

Posts: 3788
Joined: 10/7/2005
From: KC area Missouri
Status: offline

I have a mental disorder and am on meds for it. I do just fine so long as I take my meds and stay aware of my triggers. I don't judge someone by whether they have a mental disorder or not. I judge them individually by their words and actions, most especially whether words and actions match.

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Sarah2
Deviant Mind
Wild Side Readers KCSass

(in reply to earthycouple)

Post #: 18

RE: DO you think that someone with a mental problem sho... - 6/6/2007 7:09:21 AM

Gauge

Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: lonlyrossInNeed

Ok here is a poll i decided to put this up not shur if it has ever come up befor but here it is from me
I am Bipolar i dont hide it
But today i got a email from someone and when i was speaking with this Domme i told her i was Bipolar and she instantly Told me i dont belong in the lifestyle its not somthing that should be mixed together
I dont email her back anything other then that rude
what do you all think

This took a great deal of courage to post and my hat is off to you.

I have come out and talked about the fact that I too suffer from Major Depression and Anxiety Disorder and I got mixed response as to how those issues affect how others would view me within the confines of the BDSM world.

I guess that the only person that can honestly answer the question of if you should be in the lifestyle or not is you. You have been open and honest with your treatment professionals and if they do not see your choices as a bad or harmful thing then I would take their word over someone on an Internet message board site.

Mental Illness is a HUGE buzz word and, although it is more understood now than it has been, there is still a stigma to deal with because people get scared of things that they do not fully understand. It is imperative to anyone dealing with these issues to be honest about them to anyone they are considering getting involved with... if you hide it, it is only a matter of time until they will see it with their own eyes.

I do also agree that if the severity of the problem is such that it adversely affects how you conduct yourself on a daily basis that you should put BDSM on hold until you can get that under control.

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to lonlyrossInNeed)

Post #: 19

RE: DO you think that someone with a mental problem sho... - 6/6/2007 7:09:28 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

I could not vote on your poll because there was no option for how I feel.

I think it completely depends on them personally and what their issues are and, what they wish to do. What their BDSM participation interests are.

Lets face it, there are some issues that could place them at much greater risk for either harming someone else or being harmed, either physically, mentally or emotionally.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to lonlyrossInNeed)

Post #: 20

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