Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

RE: DO you think that someone with a mental problem should not be involved in the lifestyle ?


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Polls and Other Random Stupidity >> RE: DO you think that someone with a mental problem should not be involved in the lifestyle ? Page: <<   < prev  1 2 [3]
[Poll]

DO you think that someone with a mental problem should not be involved in the lifestyle ?


Dose SOmeone not belong in the Lifestyle if they are Mentaly disturb ?
  20% (8)
NO mental problems do not have anyting to do with lifestyle ?
  20% (8)
I have some Mental heath issues and i am fine
  60% (24)


Total Votes : 40
(last vote on : 2/4/2008 3:14:05 AM)
(Poll will run till: -- )
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: DO you think that someone with a mental problem sho... - 6/6/2007 10:44:08 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

I think that it is interesting that 52% of the respondents to this poll so far answered that they have mental issues.


It is interesting.........something I had never really thought about actually.

Since it really doesn't touch my life on a daily basis anymore it is not something I ever give alot of thought to. I have never been diagnosed with anything but then I avoid most all doctors like the plague. I am sure a pill happy professional could find something they thought I needed help with but so far I seem to be managing lifes twists and turns without finding out.

My daughter suffered a great deal with a few issues during her teens and still does to some degree. As time has gone on she has learned better coping skills and understands that sometimes meds are necessary even though she despises having to take them.


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: DO you think that someone with a mental problem sho... - 6/6/2007 10:47:19 AM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: EvilKitty
When one of us makes the decision to choose a partner, Top or bottom; we bear the responsibility to know our limitations. If we think we can be better caregivers than the person's doctors, we're fooling ourselves. If we know that our patience levels don't deal well with certain disorders like bipolarism; the most sensible thing is to move on to someone else. Should we be polite & not hurtful to others? HELL YES! But should we wimp out & choose that person because they give a good BJ, or because they can get a sub to subspace beautifully despite having a disorder that we KNOW, damn good & well will end badly? HELL NO!!!  


I will not be intimately involved with a person who has this condition....or several others. I say that as a person who has dealt with people of varying psychiatric diagnoses on a professional level and also as a person who has been in a long term, committed relationship with someone who is bipolar. Quite honestly, the emotional drain is just too high for me. I don't say that to be a bitch or because I want to be demeaning to those who are sufferers, I say it because it is simply an honest limit for me.

You stated that a person who has a mental illness is responsible to religiously stay on their meds. What I have found is that it is more common for them to stay on their meds and then get to a point where they think they are doing well enough to go off of them. Even on meds though, there are still times when the world just seems to get turned upside down. Meds are not a cure-all.

To complicate matters, I have dealt with many people who have mental illnesses who use their diagnoses as crutches, as weapons and as excuses to absolve them of their responsibility for their actions.

No, I am not being a bitch to say that mental illness is more than I choose to deal with in my intimate, personal relationships...I am simply making the choice that I know is right for me. I know that offends some, but as you stated what I find more offensive is the people who knowingly get involved with people who have mental illnesses with the intention of "fixing" them, regardless of the fact that they have absolutely no skills or qualifications to undertake such an endeavor.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to EvilKitty)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: DO you think that someone with a mental problem sho... - 6/6/2007 10:48:55 AM   
chiaThePet


Posts: 2694
Joined: 2/4/2007
Status: offline 		Yes
No
What'dya mean
Just what i said
What'dya say
Just what i meant
Idiot
Moron
Shut up
You shut up
Make me
I'll make ya
Oh yeah
Yeah
What are you talkin about
I dunno, what are you talkin about
Idiot
Moron

Clap on, clap off.

chia* (the pet)


_____________________________

Love is a many splendid sting.

You can stick me in the corner, but I'll probably just end up coloring on the walls.

(in reply to lonlyrossInNeed)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: DO you think that someone with a mental problem sho... - 6/6/2007 10:53:35 AM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline 		Merc, I just wanted to say that I think that you make many valid points. I touched on some of them in a recent post about the rise of mental illness today. It's almost like it's become En Vogue.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: DO you think that someone with a mental problem sho... - 6/6/2007 11:01:57 AM   
tatangel


Posts: 507
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		Given the chance, there is a doctor somewhere who would put a label on everyone. Therefore, we are all mentally unstable. I have been diagnosed with a host of different things. I manage my bi-polar disorder just fine, in fact I have had friends for years and never told them, and had them express shock when I finally did, because I do not behave in the way a ''typical'' person with bi-polar is ''supposed'' to act, since I don't drag a bunch of people into my drama. Barring people with disorders, mental, physical and emotional that they can not or choose not to control, I don't feel like anyone should be told that they can not live the way they choose, provided no one is getting hurt(unless they want to!) I think to make a blanket judgement of someone's ability to have a functional relationship. be it in the community or otherwise would be ignorant and misguided. Also, to those of you who are considering a play partner with some kind of mental diagnosis, please keep in mind it is entirely possible to go to 120 different doctors and get 120 different opinions. None of those diagnoses necessarily mean that there is even a problem. In my opinion, the people who cause problems within a relationship or community and blame it on an illness do not really have a problem with the illness per say, but with taking responsibility for one's actions. If someone is to the point where they would no longer be considered responsible for themselves, the question in my mind is not if it is ok to play with them or not, but why they are still at large in society. By entering into a safe, sane and consentual agreement, we are taking and oath of responsibility.

_____________________________

It used to be that being crazy meant something...now everybody's crazy.

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: DO you think that someone with a mental problem sho... - 6/6/2007 11:07:05 AM   
softness


Posts: 2918
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: Leeds, UK
Status: offline 		I have made the decision to step out of active engagement in the lifetysle because of my health issues. I do not have a mental health issue but my physical condition has a huge impact on my emotions. I find that my state of body is in a balance with my health, when i am well i am happy, positive and stable, when my health is in a down cycle then my state of mind reflects that. I become unhappy, depressed, short tempered, frustrated, i cry or panic easily, i feel overcome and over powered by these feelings until my physical health takes aturn for the better.

I believe it is irresponsible for me to be in a heavy committed relationship while my emotional state is so unstable (that is before even touching on the safety issue of me playing with such fragile health). When we enter into relationships we make a committment to the other persons happiness, or at least i do. When my state of mind can so easily change, and become unpredictable and impact on those around me i feel it is not fair of me to engage in a serious relationship. I have a casual girlfriend who i hold at a firm distance when i am ill and unhappy because it is no fair of me to inflict that on her.

Though this is about physical and not mental health for me i feel that many of the issues are similar. I think that as an adult i should be stable and in control of my mind state before i share my life with somebody else and involve them in my happiness. For me it would be unfair to inflict an unstable me onto another. When/ if i get to a place where my physical and therefore emotional health are stable *then* it will be appropriate to begin to involve myself with other intimately.

This is why i have huge respect for those in the lifestyle who have fought to make their mental or physcial health issues as stable as possible and then strive to mainatin them. These people are accountable, they have seen their problems and created a strategy to deal with it before it harms those around them. This is very different from those who do not face up to their own issues, and this is not just in the case of physical or mental health, but in maturity and a great many other things.

Just my opinion, no attacks, just me saying those who do everything in their power to overcome an issue are an example to us all.

_____________________________

proudly wearing the blue collar of consideration to DK Leather, Leatherdykeuk, and LeatherEagle of the UK KRueL Leather Family

veritas, respectus honorque in corio





(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: DO you think that someone with a mental problem sho... - 6/6/2007 11:18:18 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		Again I agree with you Erin. For the most part I know I would seriously struggle with someone that was fighting with alot of these sorts of issues. It was so hard for me with my daughter, pure agony. And so draining. I just know that I would not be able to be what the person needed me to be.

I am a fixer, I like to find solutions and help fix the problem. If someone is physically ill, I will help them to get better. I even dealt reasonably well with terminal cancer. But mental illness is almost more than I can cope with. I cannot fix it, make it better, or quite often even more tollerable. I cannot empathise with what the person is going through. My gut reaction is "well then, SNAP OUT OF IT!!", even though my brain knows that they can't. It is just so painful to watch someone I love suffer like that and feel so god damned helpless.

Of course I am sure there are some things that I could cope with better than others, but I would definately approach with caution.


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: DO you think that someone with a mental problem sho... - 6/6/2007 11:59:17 AM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam

Check out my graph:

http://www.meish.org/vd/select/images/dothemath2.gif

Ok, so it's not MY graph...it's from the anti-valentine site...but it works, does it not?

Master Fire



My graph looked extremely similiar....I feel like I just have wasted six months of my life.....lol.

Who would of thunk that "cash spent" would  have the same direct affect on "love given"

As "hotness" would have on "mental abnormalities tolerated."....I'm completely stymied.

_____________________________



(in reply to MasterFireMaam)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: DO you think that someone with a mental problem sho... - 6/6/2007 12:02:24 PM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin
Merc, I just wanted to say that I think that you make many valid points. I touched on some of them in a recent post about the rise of mental illness today. It's almost like it's become En Vogue.

Erin,
It is a convergence of forces. We live in an age of mass marketing, and mass information. It has become difficult to distinguish science fact from science fiction. The internet has provided much more good than evil; however regardless of the your position on any topic, you can find "scientific evidence" in support. Most stop there and would never consider a source in opposition.

When you can point to a mental illness as the cause of your problems it is easier and justifies not assuming personal accountability. It's not your fault, and you save your friends because it isn't their fault either. You have a disease. You are entitled to sympathy and understanding. 'Sell' that idea enough and you can get the government to send you some money. I guess, if I were so inclined I'd consider that route. It would require taking all the mirrors out of the house, but it may be my only chance of receiving back any of the money I've put into Social Security.

The other issue associated with these ambulatory psychoses is that it disparages those who have serious mental illness. Similar to using a Nazi reference to anything done by a government; you discount the Nazi atrocities when you try to apply them to any modern example.

(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: DO you think that someone with a mental problem sho... - 6/6/2007 12:15:17 PM   
GoddessDustyGold


Posts: 2822
Joined: 4/11/2004
From: Arizona
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

I will not be intimately involved with a person who has this condition....or several others. I say that as a person who has dealt with people of varying psychiatric diagnoses on a professional level and also as a person who has been in a long term, committed relationship with someone who is bipolar. Quite honestly, the emotional drain is just too high for me. I don't say that to be a bitch or because I want to be demeaning to those who are sufferers, I say it because it is simply an honest limit for me.

You stated that a person who has a mental illness is responsible to religiously stay on their meds. What I have found is that it is more common for them to stay on their meds and then get to a point where they think they are doing well enough to go off of them. Even on meds though, there are still times when the world just seems to get turned upside down. Meds are not a cure-all.

To complicate matters, I have dealt with many people who have mental illnesses who use their diagnoses as crutches, as weapons and as excuses to absolve them of their responsibility for their actions.

No, I am not being a bitch to say that mental illness is more than I choose to deal with in my intimate, personal relationships...I am simply making the choice that I know is right for me. I know that offends some, but as you stated what I find more offensive is the people who knowingly get involved with people who have mental illnesses with the intention of "fixing" them, regardless of the fact that they have absolutely no skills or qualifications to undertake such an endeavor.


I am there with you, Erin.  I also do not want to be a bitch, but I experienced it first hand in a many years ago relationship, and I barely survived the pure emotional stress of dealing with it.  A physical illness, such as diabetes, would depend on the situation, but, and truly no offense intended, bi-polarism scares Me to this day, and I have it as a hard limit also. I know that probably doesn't seem fair to those who have learned to cope with it in a healthy manner and stay on their meds, but  I can't handle it, I can't fix it, and I don't want to deal with it again.  I am sure there are other illnesses (mental) that I would also not be able to handle, but I have not been exposed to them on such a personal level and they seem more rare than bil-polarism.
I am one who does not consider depression or anxiety/panic a mental illness, per se.  Clinical depression is put into the category as it is ongoing but these are physical symptoms often tied also to physical malfunctions of the body and often can be managed well without drugs. 
A little yoga...a little deep breathing, a little biofeedback and go on with your day.  "I know", she says smiling, "cuz I worked really hard at it!"

< Message edited by GoddessDustyGold -- 6/6/2007 12:18:03 PM >

_____________________________

Dusty
They that give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety
B Franklin
Don't blame Me ~ I didn't vote for either of them
The Hidden Kingdom


(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: DO you think that someone with a mental problem sho... - 6/6/2007 12:27:23 PM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam

Check out my graph:

http://www.meish.org/vd/select/images/dothemath2.gif

Ok, so it's not MY graph...it's from the anti-valentine site...but it works, does it not?

Master Fire




My graph looked extremely similiar....I feel like I just have wasted six months of my life.....lol.

Who would of thunk that "cash spent" would  have the same direct affect on "love given"

As "hotness" would have on "mental abnormalities tolerated."....I'm completely stymied.



Hey, great science is often copied. ;-)

Master Fire

< Message edited by MasterFireMaam -- 6/6/2007 12:45:37 PM >

_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to domiguy)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: DO you think that someone with a mental problem sho... - 6/6/2007 12:35:12 PM   
tulipgoose


Posts: 112
Joined: 10/30/2004
Status: offline 		*Before going to read the three pages thus far* I do not believe one has anything to do with the other. First of all, who is to say what a "mental problem" is? Do you know how many people are being diagnosed with this and that these days? I'm sure if each and every person went in and got thuroughly talked with they could find SOMETHING "different" which they could label. That is after all these things are... labels.... More people are diagnosed with ADHD than have red hair in this world, so is it truly a "disorder" if we only got a label for a trait so many have and so many have always had? Does that mean people with red hair have a disorder? Since they are more rare than these other people? Again, I believe some things are traits, and some traits truly effect people. Most people I have gotten close to in this lifestyle have had some kind of diagnoses.... from Bi-Polar, to Depressed, to Autistic on the level of lesser Aspergers to much greater.... to so many other things. Saying a person labeled these things cannot have a relationship they desire is like saying a person with red hair and asthma cannot....... It's just silly.

Some people belong, and others do not. Their diagnosis doesn't determine this.... their nature does.

(in reply to lonlyrossInNeed)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: DO you think that someone with a mental problem sho... - 6/6/2007 12:38:40 PM   
redsky


Posts: 228
Joined: 12/28/2006
From: UK
Status: offline 		i dont think there is a one way answer to the question posted.


_____________________________



(in reply to tulipgoose)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: DO you think that someone with a mental problem sho... - 6/6/2007 1:35:17 PM   
lilsubl


Posts: 4595
Joined: 2/6/2006
Status: offline 		fast reply...
the first time that i attempted suicide i was 11...i can trace my depression back to my first memories...i had no clue what it was nor that there was some way to treat it until the mid-80's, when i was 40-something...because i suffered that long not understanding what was wrong or how to cope with it, it has taken me the next 20 years to understand it & to work on staying alive & healthy...i have used a combination of treatment methods over the years...recently i have come to the conclusion that what was said to me decades ago is possibly true for me & i'm trying to deal with it in that context:  "depression is anger turned inward"...because i don't see it as acceptable to show anger, i turn it inward & become depressed & withdrawn...
the Master has helped by just simply being a constant in my life...i have only had difficulties with the depression a couple of times since we met & one time he called me & i cried & cussed at him, knowing how much he hates my cussing...he simply got quiet & listened & every now & then would say, "I'm still here"...every other person in my life has disappeared when confronted with my depression...he is still here & i must say that the depressive episodes are negligable...
i agree with those who say that psychiatric labels & resultant medications are easier than dealing with problems...but for some of us, it's not situational, it's actually organic...i can't tell you how many normal little boys are being diagnosed as ADHD & medicated...but, don't get me started on that one!!!
because i am such a happy person generally, i always see the depressive episodes as some alien being possessing me in an attempt to destroy me...oooops!!  that's possibly a different mental illness altogether 


_____________________________

Linea, collarded pet of the evil Sir Max & his lovely & equally evil wife


it's no fun unless you're scared

if you can't be brave, be determined & you'll get to the same place

wannabe member of the subbi mafia

(in reply to redsky)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: DO you think that someone with a mental problem sho... - 6/6/2007 3:24:04 PM   
FelinePersuasion


Posts: 4792
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline 		If their mental disorder impairs their ability to be mature adults capable of making good choices, then yeah, in my mind they don't belong doing potential dangerous things, Or if their disability makes them unstable, they don't belong dominating someone else,Or the obvious cavet, if they're mental capacities are of that of a minor child, because of mental defects.

Any other mental problems, well I think those don't have any bearing on my opinions of should or should not, except I wouldn't ever be interested again in someone with mental problems, My current experince with it, has pushed me off of ever considering someone with mental issues again.
quote:

ORIGINAL: lonlyrossInNeed

Ok here is a poll i decided to put this up not shur if it has ever come up befor but here it is from me
I am Bipolar i dont hide it
But today i got a email from someone and when i was speaking with this Domme i told her i was Bipolar and she instantly Told me i dont belong in the lifestyle its not somthing that should be mixed together
I dont email her back anything other then that rude
what do you all think


_____________________________

Most of the time if it looks like BS, smells like BS, you probably should not t taste it to see if, in fact, it is BS.


(in reply to lonlyrossInNeed)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: DO you think that someone with a mental problem sho... - 6/7/2007 4:16:08 PM   
lonlyrossInNeed


Posts: 3144
Joined: 10/8/2005
Status: offline 		maybe i am misreading a few posts on here but i did put this up as a poll but i know its not gona be acurante and if you dont want to use the poll then you dont have to use it
i am posting this becouse i think i might have read  a few posts on here where the poll might have been says it wasnt acurate thank you
 
ross.g

_____________________________

To know what pain is hurts the most
pain is not just a wound in your flesh
pain is a dagger in your heart

(in reply to FelinePersuasion)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: DO you think that someone with a mental problem sho... - 6/7/2007 4:23:03 PM   
JerseyKrissi72


Posts: 10238
Joined: 8/21/2006
From: Reed City, Michigan
Status: offline 		we all have problems whether they are physical or mental and it's a personal decision whether or not to be involved in the lifestyle...so long as he/ she is honest with everyone about their mental condition(s)..I see nothing against it. I am bipolar and suffer with long bouts of depression but I have made some long lasting friendships within the lifestyle and my late Master accepted me with all my faults...because if it's meant to be, they will accept you " as is". simple as that.

_____________________________

Our greatest glory is not in never falling-but in rising every time we fall ( Confucius )

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: DO you think that someone with a mental problem sho... - 6/9/2007 7:18:37 AM   
lonlyrossInNeed


Posts: 3144
Joined: 10/8/2005
Status: offline 		had another email today saying you dont belong in the lifestyle becouse you are bipolar i wish i could go threw the computer screen and yell at them LOL

_____________________________

To know what pain is hurts the most
pain is not just a wound in your flesh
pain is a dagger in your heart

(in reply to JerseyKrissi72)
Profile   Post #: 58
Page:   <<   < prev  1 2 [3]
All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Polls and Other Random Stupidity >> RE: DO you think that someone with a mental problem should not be involved in the lifestyle ? Page: <<   < prev  1 2 [3]
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.110