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Male subs - 6/6/2007 8:44:36 AM   
SugarFemme23


Posts: 5
Joined: 4/1/2006
Status: offline 		So, I'm rather new to Domming male subs. Well, I'm new to Domming anyone, but all of my experience has been with women so far. I have a man that is interested, but I find myself very hesitant and unsure. Has anyone else felt this way? If so, how do you jumpstart yourself?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Male subs - 6/6/2007 8:52:09 AM   
Red82


Posts: 79
Joined: 4/13/2007
Status: offline 		With a pair of jumpercables. :-)

(in reply to SugarFemme23)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Male subs - 6/6/2007 8:56:25 AM   
LadyEllen


Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline 		Do you want to dom him?
Is it just a question of not knowing "how things work" with a male sub?

E

_____________________________

In a test against the leading brand, 9 out of 10 participants couldnt tell the difference. Dumbasses.

(in reply to SugarFemme23)
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RE: Male subs - 6/6/2007 9:18:09 AM   
SugarFemme23


Posts: 5
Joined: 4/1/2006
Status: offline 		Yes, I do want to Dom him. I seem to be less sure of myself and not knowing what to do. I also just don't know"how things work" as you say....

(in reply to LadyEllen)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Male subs - 6/6/2007 9:33:52 AM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SugarFemme23

Yes, I do want to Dom him. I seem to be less sure of myself and not knowing what to do. I also just don't know"how things work" as you say....


There really isn't that much difference between submissive people based on sex or gender really.

Consider what you've talked about in negotiations, if you have done them, then play to your desires and strengths while avoiding his limits and include a few of the things he finds most desireable.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to SugarFemme23)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Male subs - 6/6/2007 11:45:59 AM   
ObedientYYC


Posts: 80
Joined: 8/25/2006
Status: offline 		Akasha wrote a "Good Girls Guide to Female Domination" that is quite good for getting started with.  Sounds like you are exactly the audience she wrote it for.     I believe she posts here under the nickname AAkasha  if you wanted to message her for details.

(in reply to thetammyjo)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Male subs - 6/6/2007 12:28:05 PM   
LotusSong


Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline 		I suggest that you get an experienced male sub that wants to work with you.  You have to learn first and not just jump right into a venue you are not familiar with.  A good submissive will still BE submissive while guiding you thru the basics.
 
May I ask WHY you want to now dominate a male slave? What are you hoping to find and such :)  Just some things to think .about 

_____________________________

Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.


(in reply to SugarFemme23)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Male subs - 6/6/2007 12:48:14 PM   
GoddessDustyGold


Posts: 2822
Joined: 4/11/2004
From: Arizona
Status: offline 		Some Ladies do have an initial problem dominating a male.  I have discerned, in speaking to others with similar problems, and this may not be your situation, that it is matter of not feeling comfortable and confident as a female being in the position of power over the male due to a preconditioning of the accepted woman's role in standard relationships.  Not necessarily submissive, per se, but certainly more egalitarian.  Only you can decide if this might be part of your hesitation. 
That said, it is really no different from dominating a female.  In play, there are just some different body parts you can torture! In every day, non scene specific D/s, you would or should have the same feeling about things as you do with a female. 
Relax, and if you feel you have the time and the opportunity, learning with a male sub friend is a good way to gain some of that experience.
Relax and have fun!

_____________________________

Dusty
They that give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety
B Franklin
Don't blame Me ~ I didn't vote for either of them
The Hidden Kingdom


(in reply to SugarFemme23)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Male subs - 6/6/2007 5:42:40 PM   
undergroundsea


Posts: 2400
Joined: 6/27/2004
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong
I suggest that you get an experienced male sub that wants to work with you. 


I think this is excellent advice! I think all dommes should get with male subs to further their experience. Oh, and, ladies, I am very experienced! I have been fantasizing about all this since I was 5!

Cheers,

Sea

(in reply to LotusSong)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Male subs - 6/6/2007 7:48:54 PM   
MsPleasure


Posts: 215
Joined: 1/1/2007
Status: offline 		Yes, being new myself  you go through those feelings.  However, I just think about all the things I ever wanted to try on a sub and pack my goodie bag with the things I need.   

I choose to talk with the sub and give a phone interview about likes, dislikes etc., then meet in person for a visual in a public place...usually a coffee shop.   If theres still a good flow we decide to meet for a session.  Never at my residence.  Having the info I need, it may start out awkward but usually you will click in and go with the flow.  I have fun with it.

Just remember YOU are in control.  Make sure a good buddy knows about your meeting and where you are.   If you are really uncomfortable don't do it.

(in reply to SugarFemme23)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Male subs - 6/6/2007 10:44:58 PM   
LadyHeart


Posts: 561
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		If you are inexperienced, the first thing to establish is whether he is really submissive, or just a bottom. I don't have any problem playing with either, but if you're new at it, someone who tops from the bottom can be very daunting. There are more bottoms around than submissives, so be sure first what you are dealing with is my advice. The technical side of it is not the problem, it's emotions that catch us off guard. If you find yourself in a situation where you are not in control it may shatter your confidence. So that's where I suggest starting. Otherwise, have fun!
:))
LH

_____________________________

"BDSM is not an excuse for bad manners."

(in reply to MsPleasure)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Male subs - 6/7/2007 2:06:12 AM   
wewalkamongyu


Posts: 75
Joined: 7/24/2005
Status: offline 		I suggest you just talk to him.  Ask him if he has any fantasys he has wanted to explore with a Domme.  Ask him if there is any type of scene he really loves.  If he is like most of us, he will almost write the script for the fist couple times you play.  You will be doing things that you know he likes, and it will help you to become comfortable with the role.  after the first couple times, you will start to come up with your own ideas.  Another idea is to read some femdom stories.  They are a great source of ideas, and fun steamy reading.  After a few good stories on literotica.com or other places,  you will have some ideas you will be dying to try out.  Just eremember to relax, have fun and don't be afraid to make mistakes.  

(in reply to LadyHeart)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Male subs - 6/7/2007 6:22:54 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Talk about being outside of your comfort zone!  I understand completely, however, recently, this was the case with Me and My first female submissive. 
 
Yes, it does feel funny, at first.  From My own experience, just this past weekend, I did My first public scene with a girl.  Wow!  So much new territory!  There are things inside of you never untapped that come to the surface.  An almost indescribable sensation that grabs you and vitalizes your very core.
 
The only advice I can offer is..... Try it, if it's new.  I had the greatest trip to top space matching up with a female partner this past weekend.  I would have never thought the trip was so genuine until I experienced it for Myself.  Give it a shot!  You haven't lost anything until you've proven it didn't work out.

(in reply to wewalkamongyu)
Profile   Post #: 13
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