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Warning! - 6/8/2007 10:42:46 AM   
darchChylde


Posts: 5279
Joined: 9/28/2006
From: Warm Springs, GA but i live in San Francisco.
Status: offline 		BDSM Warning! please read

John Doe strode into the bedroom , wearing His leather Postal Worker's uniform. He sneered at the bound and gagged figure on the bed, as He reached into His latex mail bag. Jane Doe, a 29 year old schoolgirl, looked up at her Master, her eyes a mixture of fear and desire. She gasped as He brought a knife with a 9 ~ inch blade out of the bag.

"I saw something on the Internet which I want us to try," He said sternly,

"Are you willing?"

Jane nodded eagerly and mumbled, "yeff Mather".

John smiled as He bent close and cut her free of her bonds.

"Strip", He ordered as He began to remove His own clothes..

Jane quickly complied, wondering what new delights her beloved Master had in store for her.

"Lay back on the bed", He commanded.

Jane did so. John then laid on top of her.

"Tonight my dear", He whispered while reaching for the light switch.. "We are going ........... Vanilla!"

"NOOOOOOoooooooooo", cried Jane as the room plunged into darkness.

The above tale is true. John eventually left Jane to move in with a vanilla woman. They now have a 24/7 vanilla lifestyle, regularly enjoying home improvements, Tupperware parties and only having sex 3 times a year.

Jane was more fortunate and now attends Vanillas Anonymous, with help and guidance she is slowly recovering. Only last week she was able to stand up and say,

"I have the right to more than one sexual position!"

Vanilla is dangerous and should not be practiced at home. If anyone offers you vanilla sex, just say No.

This has been a BDSM safety awareness announcement. 


_____________________________

I'm the man your mother warned you about...
if only to keep me to herself.

I'm a male dominant switch whose experienced as a poly sub to a dominant woman
.
Where the fuck do I post?

Proud Owner and Protector of chyldeschylde.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Warning! - 6/8/2007 10:46:53 AM   
LadyEllen


Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline 		Not before time DC - those fucking perverts all ought to be shot!

E

_____________________________

In a test against the leading brand, 9 out of 10 participants couldnt tell the difference. Dumbasses.

(in reply to darchChylde)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Warning! - 6/8/2007 10:51:21 AM   
Emperor1956


Posts: 2370
Joined: 11/7/2005
Status: offline 		overheard long ago:  'I haven't had sex in so long, I forgot who gets tied up first.'

E.

_____________________________

"When you wake up, Pooh," said Piglet, "what's the first thing you say?"
"What's for breakfast? What do you say, Piglet?"
"I say, I wonder what's going to happen exciting today?"
Pooh nodded thoughtfully.
"It's the same thing," he said.

(in reply to LadyEllen)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Warning! - 6/8/2007 10:52:53 AM   
LadyEllen


Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Emperor1956

overheard long ago:  'I haven't had sex in so long, I forgot who gets tied up first.'

E.


I do wish you wouldnt reveal our private conversations in public.

Mind you, I also wish you wouldnt use my signature LOL!

E

_____________________________

In a test against the leading brand, 9 out of 10 participants couldnt tell the difference. Dumbasses.

(in reply to Emperor1956)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Warning! - 6/8/2007 11:17:08 AM   
darchChylde


Posts: 5279
Joined: 9/28/2006
From: Warm Springs, GA but i live in San Francisco.
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Emperor1956

overheard long ago:  'I haven't had sex in so long, I forgot who gets tied up first.'

E.


i know i've seen the exact line in one of the Maxine comic strips


_____________________________

I'm the man your mother warned you about...
if only to keep me to herself.

I'm a male dominant switch whose experienced as a poly sub to a dominant woman
.
Where the fuck do I post?

Proud Owner and Protector of chyldeschylde.

(in reply to Emperor1956)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Warning! - 6/8/2007 1:19:36 PM   
YourShyPet


Posts: 185
Joined: 6/30/2006
Status: offline 		OMG darchChylde..... THANKS ALOT!!!!!!.... ugh now I'm going to have worse nightmares than I had after watching the Dawn of the Dead remake....<shivers... running zombies....shivers more.... vanilla sex.... curls up in her blankie calling out... Daddy!>


kittin

(in reply to darchChylde)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Warning! - 6/8/2007 1:32:17 PM   
MrRoberts48381


Posts: 16
Joined: 1/17/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: YourShyPet

OMG darchChylde..... THANKS ALOT!!!!!!.... ugh now I'm going to have worse nightmares than I had after watching the Dawn of the Dead remake....<shivers... running zombies....shivers more.... vanilla sex.... curls up in her blankie calling out... Daddy!>


kittin


ohhh Kittin nilla bath tub sex  and  fast zombies   haveing lunch on the bus   sounds so HAWT!!! 


(in reply to YourShyPet)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Warning! - 6/8/2007 1:36:16 PM   
YourShyPet


Posts: 185
Joined: 6/30/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MrRoberts48381

quote:

ORIGINAL: YourShyPet

OMG darchChylde..... THANKS ALOT!!!!!!.... ugh now I'm going to have worse nightmares than I had after watching the Dawn of the Dead remake....<shivers... running zombies....shivers more.... vanilla sex.... curls up in her blankie calling out... Daddy!>


kittin


ohhh Kittin nilla bath tub sex  and  fast zombies   haveing lunch on the bus   sounds so HAWT!!! 





<curls up in her blankie, and whines>...... darchChylde!!! SEE WHAT YOU STARTED!!!!... <rocks in her blankie mumbling... no mission position... no mission position>


kittin

(in reply to MrRoberts48381)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Warning! - 6/8/2007 3:10:05 PM   
CrimsonMoan


Posts: 2652
Joined: 10/31/2006
From: Portland, Me via Las Vegas Nv
Status: offline 		*shivers and rubs arms* sooooo coooolllllddddddd

This is why i make sure its never vanil. If it ain't ice cream its gonna be multi flavored and exciting. * packs overnigth bag* Hmmmm rope, candles, paddle, ball gag, hair brush, body wax, liquid latex.....

seriosly that was just wrong man.

(in reply to YourShyPet)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Warning! - 6/8/2007 3:15:34 PM   
HarleyKitty69


Posts: 4906
Joined: 10/22/2006
Status: offline 		I'm going to have to forward that to my groups ASAP.....
I heard one of the tops was going to get himself nilla pussy tonight ...
AARRRRGGGHHH  THE HORROR

_____________________________

I am who I am
A Sammy to no end

Sarcasm, just another service I provide


.....I am who I am .......

Sammie Service Slave with a Hippie ScooterTrash Attitude

(in reply to CrimsonMoan)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Warning! - 6/8/2007 3:17:25 PM   
CrimsonMoan


Posts: 2652
Joined: 10/31/2006
From: Portland, Me via Las Vegas Nv
Status: offline 		*gags* would you just want to do it without props? wheres the fun? the excitment? the pain?! the marks?!

(in reply to HarleyKitty69)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Warning! - 6/8/2007 7:02:33 PM   
dcnovice


Posts: 37282
Joined: 8/2/2006
Status: offline 		The story brought to mind a vignette from The Bottoming Book.

The author (whose name I forget, alas, and am too lazy to Google) recounts a conversation with a friend who insisted she had no limits at all. Here's my dramatization:

Author: Everyone has some limits.

Friend: Not me. Whatever my master wants, I'll obey.

Author: So if your master said you were going vanilla for the rest of your relationship, you'd be cool with that?

Long pause

Friend: I'd be out of there so fast! I guess I do have a limit, after all.

_____________________________

No matter how cynical you become,
it's never enough to keep up.

JANE WAGNER, THE SEARCH FOR SIGNS OF
INTELLIGENT LIFE IN THE UNIVERSE

(in reply to CrimsonMoan)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Warning! - 6/8/2007 9:55:33 PM   
favesclava


Posts: 1608
Joined: 2/15/2007
Status: offline 		what an evil child you are!
cant sleep vanilla gonna get me, cant sleep vanilla gonna get me, cant sleep vanilla gonna get me

(in reply to dcnovice)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Warning! - 6/8/2007 10:49:32 PM   
Craftsman


Posts: 885
Joined: 6/12/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: dcnovice

The story brought to mind a vignette from The Bottoming Book.

It could be:
The New Bottoming Book (Paperback)
by Janet W. Hardy (Author), Dossie Easton (Author)
www.librarything.com/work/80512
 
or it could be:
 

The Bottoming Book: How to Get Terrible Things Done to You by Wonderful People
by Dossie Easton
http://www.librarything.com/work/71327

_____________________________

You do not have to be perfect to be perfect.

(in reply to dcnovice)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Warning! - 6/8/2007 10:52:49 PM   
tatangel


Posts: 507
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		The authors of The bottoming Book and several others are Dossie Eaton and Catherine A . Liszt. There you go!

_____________________________

It used to be that being crazy meant something...now everybody's crazy.

(in reply to favesclava)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Warning! - 6/8/2007 11:28:25 PM   
ta2dqt


Posts: 375
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline 		Just LOVE the story!!! LOVE IT!!!! 

_____________________________

"Ask not that your Dom can do for you, but what you can do for your Dom."

"People are like fine wine, they get better with age!"

"Everything happens for a reason."



myspace.com/theoneandonlyta2dqt

(in reply to tatangel)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Warning! - 6/8/2007 11:48:46 PM   
bbw2switch


Posts: 59
Joined: 6/5/2007
From: toronto
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CrimsonMoan

*gags* would you just want to do it without props? wheres the fun? the excitment? the pain?! the marks?!

thank goddess my gf understand that i can't live on
"van..ni...  van..nil..il  laa ..."

DAMN i just can't say it... with out cringing...

.




< Message edited by bbw2switch -- 6/8/2007 11:51:49 PM >

_____________________________

i am already deranged .. just waiting for CM to catch up..so don't think of me as a "newbie"

i am mlady the one!!! the only!!!! the original! erm .. just not on this site ...
http://mlady.covenspace.com/

(in reply to CrimsonMoan)
Profile   Post #: 17
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