RE: D/s .. what percentage is sexual in nature for you?

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RE: D/s .. what percentage is sexual in nature for you? - 6/5/2005 4:58:28 PM

proudsub

Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
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quote:

dearest proudsub,
this slave is LIVING her erotic dream!

You are very lucky beth.

quote:

Did Merc make you write that Beth, to make him look more like a studmuffin?? LOL, M

LMAO!!

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proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan

(in reply to Mercnbeth)

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RE: D/s .. what percentage is sexual in nature for you? - 6/5/2005 8:50:45 PM

Lepidoptera

Posts: 161
Joined: 4/14/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: subversiveone

>>How important...how much more does the sexual aspects of D/s figure into your relationship... or does it figure in much at all? Is it an inntegral part of your relationship?

If one took away the raw sexual intercourse, the D/s would not suffer. If one took away the D/s, the whole relationship would suffer. If my submission to His Dominance isn't completely sexual in nature, to either of us, it's still arousing/pleasing/stimulating and therefore all goes back to sexual. Every day things can become an expression of sex and/or love via D/s. By developing our relationship based on D/s we're acheiving this. And we have a broad definition of what is 'sexual' when so much turns us on ;) thank goodness

I don't think I could ever find satisfaction in ANY relationship without sex. With sex, my body gives him/her pleasure. I can SEE it, maybe even touch and taste it ;). I don't get that with other acts of BDSM. I know the other person likes it, because they're doing it, but their satisfaction is not nearly as tangible. Without sex, I wouldn't feel used enough- I wouldn't feel wanted. I'm not asking for much. Once or twice a month could be fine. But I cannot envision a relationship without ever experiencing that connection.

(in reply to subversiveone)

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RE: D/s .. what percentage is sexual in nature for you? - 6/5/2005 11:44:26 PM

ravenna

Posts: 121
Joined: 12/22/2004
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"Once or twice a month"? Good God. i would die. i would simply die. Or i would rather fucking die. (Sorry. See, i can't even talk about not getting fucked without the word fucking slipping into the conversation.)

But basically, leaving the fucking frequency question aside, Lepidoptera, i totally agree with you. Sex and D/s and BDSM and slavery are utterly inseparable for me. If the original post were a multiple choice test, i would have to check the box for 100%. If sex were completely removed forever from my life as a slave, what remains would not be a life worth living to me, any more than being a field slave on a plantation in the antebellum South picking cotton till i drop dead would be a life worth living to me. My owners would still own me, i would still be their slave, but when i dropped dead from unrequited lust they would just have to shop for a replacement. What a bother. And what a waste of a good sex slave!

Ahem. Having said all that, i also have to say that i serve my owners in a thousand ways that aren't obviously sexual, at least on the surface. Any given day i might spend all day and night working my butt off on some project that might earn me nothing more overtly sexual in the way of a reward than a smile and a "well done" or a "good girl" or a pat on the butt. But that smile and that butt-pat will carry a huge load of sexual subtext that will leave me warm and wet and glowing with pride for days. Sex underlies everything they do with me and everything i do for them; it's not the only thing down there in the foundation by far, there's love and devotion and surrender and authority and commitment and lots of other stuff, but sex is everywhere in my life, both above and below the surface. And i am blessed and/or cursed with a mind that's capable of sexualizing anything and everything, and just the act of submitting to my owners creates an enormous erotic buzz in my head and body and soul. So if they did order me to go out in the field and start picking cotton and maybe if i'm good they'll fuck me next month, i'd grab my cotton-pickin' bag and hope for the best. But honestly, they have much better uses for me than that, and sex is way up there on their list of What I'm Good For. (And as my master Michelangelo is fond of telling me, if it weren't for the sex, he'd swap me for a Labrador retriever: same dogged devotion, same glossy black coat, much cheaper to feed.)

(in reply to Lepidoptera)

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RE: D/s .. what percentage is sexual in nature for you? - 6/6/2005 2:01:21 AM

APhacetoSit

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Joined: 11/23/2004
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100% if one takes into account the times that one is considering chastity, desire, expectation, denial or gratification. Wait, is there an answer higher than 100%?

(in reply to Tempestspet)

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RE: D/s .. what percentage is sexual in nature for you? - 6/7/2005 2:44:00 PM

asissyforher

Posts: 228
Joined: 5/20/2005
From: iowa now..maybe move soon.
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%? you ask? if i said zero would you accept that?

i am self celebate and there has never been a hint of sex with any domme/mistress "i" met as yet.

i am sorry if i made your day go bad.
thank you
asissy

(in reply to Tempestspet)

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RE: D/s .. what percentage is sexual in nature for you? - 6/7/2005 2:53:47 PM

Tempestspet

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Joined: 1/13/2005
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...smiles...

I just saw this come through.

Of course you did not make my day go bad. Those are the choices you make for you. 0% is fine. 100 % and absolutely everywherer in bewteen is fine.

That's what has made this thread so great to read. Everyone has there own take, expressions, and ways that they choose to live. Sometimes through reading other's thoughts, ideas, and experiences.... maybe it will clarify something for someone.
Maybe not...smiles... either way.... it's cool

Have a great day !!

Tempest's pet
jennifer

(in reply to asissyforher)

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RE: D/s .. what percentage is sexual in nature for you? - 6/9/2005 3:52:06 PM

woodsbunny

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Joined: 2/26/2005
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When I'm talking to someone on Collerme and it gets close to maybe becoming a meeting I give the first of the Rules for Meeting Woodsbunny: Sex is entirely off the table for the first visit. Sexual contact will be extremely limited on following visits.

Unfortunately, that rule has ended the discussion.

My reasons for the rule are incredibly varied. It isn't because I don't like sex or can't have sex -- far from it. I do have a huge number of trust issues (even in a Dom role) that have to be resolved first. I like to take things slowly, step by step. I don't see bdsm as necessarily sexual though sex and sexual energy is important to bdsm.

I am also attached and I have to respect the health concerns of my vanilla partner. We recently lost a HIV positive friend. What he and his partner (also HIV positive) have gone through in the years they dealt with the disease and the side-effects of the drugs they've taken to treat it have influenced our ideas about one of us having sex outside of our relationship.

(in reply to Tempestspet)

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RE: D/s .. what percentage is sexual in nature for you? - 6/14/2005 12:21:37 PM

testlimit

Posts: 47
Joined: 6/11/2005
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in a D/s relationship? 100%....If i'm in a relationship (i'm reading this as romantic not just a general "I know this person" kind of way) then I'm sexually attracted to the girl. I do get off on being dominant with those I'm attracted to. So there's a sexual element pretty much whenever I'm interacting with them....It might only be a low background noise type of thing, but it's there.

Just in being dominant or submissive as a personality trait? maybe 30-40% as I think it's safe to say I fail to be attracted (sexually) on any level to a good 60% of the people I interact with for various reasons, be age, gender, or just no chemistry.

(in reply to Tempestspet)

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