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Just wanted to say - 6/9/2007 2:01:08 PM

CirclMastr

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I'm leaving for my first munch in about 15 minutes, and I'm a lot more nervous about it than I thought I would be.

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RE: Just wanted to say - 6/9/2007 2:10:07 PM

octavia

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have a great time! it helps me to think of something totally different than the event im nervous about when on my way somewhere new. Will you come back and share all about it? i have yet to go to my first one. Im ubber scared...

octavia

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RE: Just wanted to say - 6/9/2007 2:11:46 PM

CirclMastr

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Yeah, I've been sitting here playing Asteroids on the site while golf is on TV, but I just can't help but be nervous about it. I'm hoping to be able to come back and post it under Positive Experiences, but I hate to put the cart before the horse. ;)

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RE: Just wanted to say - 6/9/2007 2:38:26 PM

Level

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Nothing wrong with being nervous, just try to relax and have fun. They're just people, like you and me, ya know.

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Fake the heat and scratch the itch
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RE: Just wanted to say - 6/9/2007 2:51:13 PM

sub4hire

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Let us know how many napkins you shredded. New people always tend to sit and shred napkin after napkin being nervous.
A few hours in they seem to calm down and enjoy themselves.

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RE: Just wanted to say - 6/9/2007 2:57:04 PM

velvetears

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A few hours in?? How long do these things last? i figured prolly hour to hour and a half. Hope they tip the poor waitress really well lol.

Good luck to you. Don't put expectations on yourself or the event, that way you will not come away disappointed. i am sure there will be seasoned people there to go out of their way to make you feel welcome. Enjoy

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RE: Just wanted to say - 6/9/2007 2:57:45 PM

nyrisa

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Hope you have a great time. I am always uncomfortable in groups, so attending my first munch and group meetings gave me the jitters, bigtime. But I am really glad I went. I found, to my complete amazement, that I was totally comfortable with the people there. Maybe I'd just been needing to be among the right company? *S*

Hope we hear good reports of your meeting.

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RE: Just wanted to say - 6/9/2007 3:10:31 PM

Griswold

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quote:

ORIGINAL: CirclMastr

I'm leaving for my first munch in about 15 minutes, and I'm a lot more nervous about it than I thought I would be.

(That's okay...my first mortgage was kind of the same gig...and I got through it)

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RE: Just wanted to say - 6/9/2007 3:42:40 PM

Trampler

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I was totally nervous the 1st few munches I went to, then started making friends and all was good!

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RE: Just wanted to say - 6/9/2007 5:00:14 PM

SeeksOnlyOne

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good luck-thats one thing i havent been able to bring my self to do yet.....i will wait to hear how it went for you and then maybe find my nerve....

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RE: Just wanted to say - 6/9/2007 7:46:18 PM

Joseff

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I remember our first munch, we were nervous right up untill we got to the restaraunt and saw an old friend through the window. All those years and we never knew.
Joseff

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RE: Just wanted to say - 6/9/2007 8:07:04 PM

roughleather

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The only thing you have to fear is boredom and overeating.

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RE: Just wanted to say - 6/9/2007 8:16:43 PM

bbw2switch

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quote:

ORIGINAL: roughleather

The only thing you have to fear is boredom and overeating.

the munch in our fair part of the city has the best wings and nacho's. it's hard to only go to the munch and NOT eat. it was particularily nice if the subi bought the food for you and knelt in front of you when you ate. but that only happened one night, and someone complained to the owner.

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RE: Just wanted to say - 6/9/2007 11:28:02 PM

AquaticSub

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quote:

ORIGINAL: CirclMastr

I'm leaving for my first munch in about 15 minutes, and I'm a lot more nervous about it than I thought I would be.

Probably too late to give advice, but don't worry and try to relax. Hope you have a great time there!

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RE: Just wanted to say - 6/9/2007 11:36:21 PM

EvilGeoff

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quote:

ORIGINAL: CirclMastr

I'm leaving for my first munch in about 15 minutes, and I'm a lot more nervous about it than I thought I would be.

Okay bud.... DISH! How did it go?

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RE: Just wanted to say - 6/9/2007 11:57:16 PM

SlpBeauty333

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Yeah, how did it go? Inquiring minds or is it enquiring minds....ah, hell...nosy people like me want to know!

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RE: Just wanted to say - 6/10/2007 12:05:38 AM

CirclMastr

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Heh, forum access at last. (I don't know why, but Firefox on my other PC doesn't like the forum. Ah well.)

I had a lot of fun, despite the food being overpriced and the chair horribly uncomfortable. ;) That's obviously a reflection on the restaurant rather than the people, though. I never said my thoughts would be organized before I started typing!

Obviously there was no one there I knew beforehand. My first impression was, honestly, surprise at the age of the other people there. It's probably not true, but it felt like I was the only one there under 40. Not that that was a bad thing, considering I was there hoping to learn from more experienced individuals, but I guess I was expecting more... diversification? I'm not sure how to put it, exactly.

It was a very casual atmosphere, which I much appreciated. A lot of the discussion wasn't even about BDSM, which I also appreciated; I don't think I could have brought myself to say anything at all if the conversation had started at the proverbial deep end of the pool.

The two major (in my mind, anyway) pieces of advice I got were to attend workshops on what I might be interested in, as well as to try joining a group called Gen X (IIRC) to meet people closer to my age. The hostess told me she would email me with more information, and I'd appreciate anyone here who can elaborate on them as well.

One thing that stood out in hindsight was the fact that I was asked whether I was a dom, but it wasn't asked whether I was straight/gay/bisexual. I realize that it's generally assumed in vanilla society that a person is straight until there's evidence to the contrary, and it got me to thinking if that carries over into BDSM or not. Of course, I could easily be overanalyzing. (And just to save everyone from clicking on my profile, I am in fact straight.)

All in all, despite some issues with the restaurant, it was definitely a good first experience for me. :)

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RE: Just wanted to say - 6/10/2007 12:13:05 AM

HutchGarahl

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Glad you enjoyed yourself. I haven't been to a munch in years....maybe it's time I went to one. Don't think they could have changed a whole lot in 10 years. :P

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RE: Just wanted to say - 6/10/2007 2:09:43 AM

MaamJay

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Glad to hear you enjoyed it and it sounds like a pretty typical munch! Though we tried to find places with good food at good prices ... sometimes the catering staff would change between visits and a previously good place suddenly went downhill! And I hear you about the chairs, we stopped going to one place when they switched to these trendy triangular things that were abominable!

The bdsm scene is overpopulated by older people, many only seem to find out in their 40s that they're wired this way ... or that other people also do these things and it's called bdsm! (I had a foot in both those camps!). However, once you get known, usually people can point you to an 18-35 subgroup so I hope that will work out for you. Plus I have found most people to be quite accepting of different ages, moreso that in vanilla groups. Master is 35 and I am now 51 and most bdsmers haven't had any hassle with that. We are quite happy to work with younger or older people and share what we know at workshops etc. No need for everyone to reinvent the wheel or repeat mistakes!

As far as being asked about your orientations, bdsmers are generally much more interested in the first instance about whether you are dominant, sub or switch. Asking someone's sexual orientation would seem to be much more personal. It might be asked in more subtle ways such as, if you say you are Dominant, "are you seeking female subs, male subs or both?" Or a female sub might be asked if she is looking for a Master, a Mistress or a couple. Just seems a bit more polite!

Good luck with your future explorations, you've taken a big step and it generally gets easier from here!
Maam Jay aka violet[A]

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RE: Just wanted to say - 6/10/2007 4:35:10 AM

wandersalone

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I am glad it was a positive experience for you.

I generally steer away from asking questions of others that are too personal at munches as I would not want a virtual stranger asking me the same questions the first time we met. I imagine that rather than making assumptions about your sexual orientation the others were trying to make you feel comfortable by not asking these questions.

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