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Where is the effort? - 6/9/2007 5:36:54 PM

goodgirl85

Posts: 221
Joined: 4/16/2007
Status: offline

Why is that most of the Doms that contact me, think simply because they are a Dom, that i will respond to "Hi, Im a Dom, wanna talk?" and ontop of that their profile is empty, or virtually so. Would a little effort on your part, be all that hard, especially if you are trying to grab my attention.

A Dom I have been talking to and have met a few times, messaged me for the first time telling me that my profile needed proofreading. Another said something along the lines of "I know I am a little out of your age range however...."

And to show that you have taken the time to actually read my profile, not just look at my likes/dislikes list and look for a pic, is also another good way to capture my attention.

Grrr sorry , just had to get that out because I just went thru about ten or fifteen messages, most of which said something along the lines of Hi wanna chat...

girl

Post #: 1

RE: Where is the effort? - 6/9/2007 5:40:57 PM

Rafters

Posts: 266
Joined: 3/9/2006
Status: offline

Darwinate them.

CM operates a survival of the fittest approach. If you don't offer sympathy subbing's, the bad wander off and the good remain.

< Message edited by Rafters -- 6/9/2007 5:44:37 PM >

(in reply to goodgirl85)

Post #: 2

RE: Where is the effort? - 6/9/2007 5:54:06 PM

adoracat

Posts: 1779
Joined: 2/16/2007
Status: offline

my simple answer is always "what would you like to chat about?"

for some reason i dont get a lot of return messages.

kitten, who is apparently Not Right in the head....

(in reply to Rafters)

Post #: 3

RE: Where is the effort? - 6/9/2007 5:56:48 PM

Sinergy

Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: adoracat

my simple answer is always "what would you like to chat about?"

I dont really have much time to chat.

When somebody contacts me that I do not know, I usually ask "Have we met?"

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle

(in reply to adoracat)

Post #: 4

RE: Where is the effort? - 6/9/2007 6:00:50 PM

daddysblondie

Posts: 181
Joined: 3/17/2007
Status: offline

Sinergy, I think that line works because you're a man. I shudder to think at the kind of responses that would garner if I replied that way...

Of course, I currently have a blank profile that claims my age is 99, and yet I *still* get the occasional, where are you and do you wanna chat one-liners.

(in reply to Sinergy)

Post #: 5

RE: Where is the effort? - 6/9/2007 6:06:04 PM

adoracat

Posts: 1779
Joined: 2/16/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sinergy

quote:

ORIGINAL: adoracat

my simple answer is always "what would you like to chat about?"

I dont really have much time to chat.

When somebody contacts me that I do not know, I usually ask "Have we met?"

Sinergy

mm, true. but i generally respond to unsolicited messages politely just because i'm that way. and Sir says he likes that about me....till somone shows they dont deserve respect, they get it from me.

kitten, whose mama taught her to be polite, and whose Sirs have taught her that sometimes its ok NOT to be.

(in reply to Sinergy)

Post #: 6

RE: Where is the effort? - 6/9/2007 6:11:34 PM

earthycouple

Posts: 4462
Joined: 2/19/2006
Status: offline

If it makes you feel better....subs contact me in the same manner. Even now, that I am not searching for a sub and my profile states such.

letters like: "i wanna be your fuckztoy" ain't that purty?

_____________________________

D~

Seeking, searching, hoping, living, loving, jumping. So what's new with you?

(in reply to adoracat)

Post #: 7

RE: Where is the effort? - 6/9/2007 6:11:41 PM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: goodgirl85

Why is that most of the Doms that contact me, think simply because they are a Dom, that i will respond to "Hi, Im a Dom, wanna talk?" and ontop of that their profile is empty, or virtually so. Would a little effort on your part, be all that hard, especially if you are trying to grab my attention.

A Dom I have been talking to and have met a few times, messaged me for the first time telling me that my profile needed proofreading. Another said something along the lines of "I know I am a little out of your age range however...."

And to show that you have taken the time to actually read my profile, not just look at my likes/dislikes list and look for a pic, is also another good way to capture my attention.

Grrr sorry , just had to get that out because I just went thru about ten or fifteen messages, most of which said something along the lines of Hi wanna chat...

girl

seriously? you think that you have vomited some vaunted truth out there kid?

it is purple, no more. Don't make a big thing about it.

Ron

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to goodgirl85)

Post #: 8

RE: Where is the effort? - 6/9/2007 6:12:07 PM

TemptingNviceSub

Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline

You could respond back and say, "I would love to chat ,when you write something intelligient enough to chat about"......Tempting

_____________________________

I have greatly enjoyed the second blooming...suddenly you find at the age of 50, that a whole new life has opened before you.........Agatha Christie.

You must make tracks into the unknown~~Thoreau

(in reply to goodgirl85)

Post #: 9

RE: Where is the effort? - 6/9/2007 6:27:42 PM

HaveRopeWillBind

Posts: 514
Joined: 7/15/2006
Status: offline

GoodGirl,
Let me begin by saying that I generally agree with your outlook on this subject, but to play Devil's Advocate for a moment let me ask you what better way do you know of to get to know someone than having a conversation with them? It's not so out of line to request a conversation with you if your profile indicates that you are "actively seeking" someone who falls into a certain category in which the respondant also fits.
I am guessing you notice this scenario most with dominants since that is who contacts you most frequently. Let me assure you that there is a fairly high percentage of submissives/slaves who have very little information in their profiles as well. I have seen a great number on this site with no text, no journal entries, and no areas of interest selected, sometimes not even a photo. About the only way to learn anything about someone with that sort of profile is to engage them in conversation of some sort.
I know it would be wonderful if everyone on here put a lot of effort into each and every contact they made through this site. Realisticly most of the contacts one makes are going to not even be read, much less answered. That's okay since this site is really all about putting people together who have a common level of interests and attraction. But I think a lot of the people with whom you are expressing frustration are simply waiting to see if they will get any kind of response before putting a lot of effort into the contact. Sort of a "Why write a 10 page letter of introduction when it won't even be read?" kind of outlook. I know it is a self-defeating attitude since if someone doesn't pique your interest with their first contact you aren't likely to reply. But it won't likely change until everyone decides to read and respond to all the mail they get here. (Or at least the mail that seems sane.)
I think this falls into the same category as the frequent complaints seen in profiles against "Cut & Paste" e-mail or general form letters. I will admit that long ago I used to use a standard letter of introduction in a different venue. I don't make enough initial contacts to feel a need for that any longer, but I can still see the temptation. After all how many original and unique ways can you say, "Hi, this is me and this is what I am looking for." You are going to naturally wind up repeating yourself unless you make up a whole new personality for yourself each time you contact someone.
Now having said that I do believe that a first contact should have enough thought put into it to be personal and hopefully interesting enough to inspire a response. Think about this though, if you walk into a bar and look around hoping to make contact, who will get your best effort, will it be the ones who never look at you or the one who makes return eye-contact? It's very similar online really. (And yes, I'm aware you won't likely get that eye-contact unless you present yourself well.)

(in reply to goodgirl85)

Post #: 10

RE: Where is the effort? - 6/9/2007 6:31:13 PM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

And I might say, Lordy Jesus!!! I don't think I have ever seen the anais nin qoute rendered in quite those colors----- How is it that women feel they have imparted some vast information in some poem that was given them by Sir Charles or whatever the fuck, as they were wending their way down the path, and that as they sit there patiently sorting thru the one-liners and the wanks and those that say:

Look you big titted bitch, I am gonna slap you in the mouth with my dick every morning, as I drink my coffee on my way to work---------and you will love it, and this will be our life------

No, they chat back and forth and 756 weeks later in the dead of winter, after the christmas wassail and ass reaming go----------

has anyone heard from my master ted? he just disappeared after he went to see his ex wife and family (which I so understand) over christmas------and I hope he is not laying bleeding, cold and losing his life force in ditch 22 over by Thief River Falls (thats for you CrazyC) and am I the only one?

Yeah, nobody comes to Jesus on prom night girls.

The Virginian

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to TemptingNviceSub)

Post #: 11

RE: Where is the effort? - 6/9/2007 6:33:08 PM

SeeksOnlyOne

Posts: 2012
Joined: 5/14/2007
Status: offline

i look at it like this-as of now, i am the only person i have to look at and explain my self to. i have been fussed at by so-called doms because i didnt immediately offer to drive 500 miles to "play" after they said hello to me.

i just know that someone that reacts to me badly, when i am just being me and honest, is not someone that i would click with, and i move on. remember, anyone can log on and call them self whatever label they choose to....

to thine own self be true......the rest will happen when it is meant to happen.

_____________________________

it aint no good til it hurts just a little bit....jimmy somerville

in those moments of solitude, does everyone sometimes think they are insane? or is it just me?

(in reply to goodgirl85)

Post #: 12

RE: Where is the effort? - 6/9/2007 7:52:44 PM

welshwmn3

Posts: 126
Joined: 3/14/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysblondie

Sinergy, I think that line works because you're a man. I shudder to think at the kind of responses that would garner if I replied that way...

Of course, I currently have a blank profile that claims my age is 99, and yet I *still* get the occasional, where are you and do you wanna chat one-liners.

Actually, I do that with good response as well, and I am a woman.

"Have we met?" "Do I know you?" or "What do you want to chat about?" usually stop the messages cold. There's the occassional people who continue past that, and then it can be really interesting to play with them (an Instant Message on AOL once comes to mind ... guy was thinking I was roleplaying because my profile said I was born in 966... it was a lot of fun to "play" with him, and by play, I mean shock the hell out of him :D).

(in reply to daddysblondie)

Post #: 13

RE: Where is the effort? - 6/9/2007 7:59:02 PM

Lordandmaster

Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline

Hi, I am a dom. I didn't bother to read your profile because it takes too much time. If I read all the profiles of the girls who didn't want to talk to me, all I'd be doing the whole day through is reading profiles. If I write a one-line e-mail to hundreds of girls, you know, something that doesn't take much time, like "Hi, I am a dom," maybe someone might actually respond to me.

(in reply to goodgirl85)

Post #: 14

RE: Where is the effort? - 6/9/2007 8:15:39 PM

domiguy

Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline

This is the typical message that I send to subs....

Hey goodgirl468, I read your profile and I really liked what I found there.....You seem cool and I think black chicks are hot...Looking forward to hearing from you and seeing a few shots of your gash."

D.G.

_____________________________

(in reply to Lordandmaster)

Post #: 15

RE: Where is the effort? - 6/9/2007 8:27:20 PM

SeeksOnlyOne

Posts: 2012
Joined: 5/14/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

This is the typical message that I send to subs....

Hey goodgirl468, I read your profile and I really liked what I found there.....You seem cool and I think black chicks are hot...Looking forward to hearing from you and seeing a few shots of your gash."

D.G.

i have a dear male friend and after a while i noticed he fed every "hot" chickie he met the same line. when i confronted him-he said heck yeah and every now and then one believes it and i get great sex......

i just make sure i turn my head so the women dont see me giggle-cause i am sweet like that

_____________________________

it aint no good til it hurts just a little bit....jimmy somerville

in those moments of solitude, does everyone sometimes think they are insane? or is it just me?

(in reply to domiguy)

Post #: 16

RE: Where is the effort? - 6/9/2007 9:01:38 PM

Sinergy

Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysblondie

Sinergy, I think that line works because you're a man. I shudder to think at the kind of responses that would garner if I replied that way...

I disagree.

Somebody I do not know contacts me, I have 0 emotional investment in what reply they are going to give me.

When I contact somebody I politely introduce myself, I compliment something about them, I ask them questions, and I am respectful. If they tell me they dont want to talk, I politely excuse myself and leave. I do this even if the response back is obnoxious or nasty.

This is both on-line and in real life.

If you shudder at the responses you might garner, I tend to think that my doing that would be giving those people control over my emotions which I am unwilling to do.

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle

(in reply to daddysblondie)

Post #: 17

RE: Where is the effort? - 6/9/2007 9:26:47 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

Because they want to do something that will get you to respond. If they can get you to respond, they've already won half the war.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to Sinergy)

Post #: 18

RE: Where is the effort? - 6/9/2007 9:37:27 PM

crouchingtigress

Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline

ours is not to wonder why, ours is but delete that guy.

_____________________________

Service slut, durable plaything, and ponypenquincatdogpig, to Lee Harrington

This is him

"Its none of my buisness what other people think of me."

(in reply to goodgirl85)

Post #: 19

RE: Where is the effort? - 6/9/2007 10:52:07 PM

mistoferin

Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline

My favorite is always the one liner..."Tell me a little about yourself".

Ummmm....were there big gaping holes in my very indepth profile? Some blanks that need to be filled in?

My response to them is usually along the lines of "Well it all began on a hot, August night nearly 45 years ago. There was a storm brewing on the horizon...."

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to goodgirl85)

Post #: 20

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