Dominants do you court your potential submissives?

Dominants do you court your potential submissives? (Full Version)

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MzMia -> Dominants do you court your potential submissives? (6/9/2007 8:38:43 PM)
I like to start fun threads, to attempt to stir up fun conversations. So here goes: As a Dominant, do you court your potential submissive? How do you go about getting to know her in the early stages of a relationship? Do you take her out on non lifestyle vanilla type dates? Do you prefer to "jump" into playing and relationships quickly, and let things sort themselves out? At what point do you lay out your expectations and what you are looking for in a partner? I personally do not want to become involved with anyone that can't take the TIME to get to know me as a person and a friend, first. I prefer to go slowly, and even as a Dominant I expect to be "courted" to a certain extent. I don't mind talking about similar interests in WIITWD, because I do what someone with similar interests, but I am not looking for a "play" partner. I am not into casual sex nor casual BDSM relationships at this stage of my life, but I don't knock those that enjoy casual encounters. I look forward to hearing from those of us on both sides of the D/s dynamic.

juliaoceania -> RE: Dominants do you court your potential submissives? (6/9/2007 9:00:42 PM)
We did not really "date", but we have done many vanilla type things. He did court me. In some ways he continues to court me. The happiest relationships I have seen are the ones in which people continue to always court EACH OTHER. Just my take on it

MzMia -> RE: Dominants do you court your potential submissives? (6/9/2007 9:08:09 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: juliaoceania We did not really "date", but we have done many vanilla type things. He did court me. In some ways he continues to court me. The happiest relationships I have seen are the ones in which people continue to always court EACH OTHER. Just my take on it [:)] aww thanks julia, I so agree. I think many around here tend to forget that this means a lot to most women. Most women want to be courted in some fashion, whether they are Dominant or submissive. I would imagine that many submissive women need to be courted to be able to submit.

Lordandmaster -> RE: Dominants do you court your potential submissives? (6/9/2007 9:47:27 PM)
Nope. I make'em come to me. Keeps them in their place, you know. quote: ORIGINAL: MzMia As a Dominant, do you court your potential submissive?

MzMia -> RE: Dominants do you court your potential submissives? (6/9/2007 9:54:49 PM)
If you don't court them, how do you get to know them?

Lordandmaster -> RE: Dominants do you court your potential submissives? (6/9/2007 10:21:57 PM)
I was kinda joking.

MzMia -> RE: Dominants do you court your potential submissives? (6/9/2007 10:24:52 PM)
lol, I bet you court very well. Flowers, dinner, the whole 9 yards.[;)]

slaverosebeauty -> RE: Dominants do you court your potential submissives? (6/9/2007 11:06:26 PM)
My current partner an I have known eachother for over 3 years, only in the last month or so did the idea of us 'courting' come up {we did NOT get along for most of the 3 yrs}; we live in different citys so we do what we can. We meet when we can, we talk almost daily, he is a true gentleman when we are together - opens doors, helps me out of the car, pulls out my chair for me, etc. We do vanilla dates with M/s undertones, and then when we get back, things 'change' and we get into M/s mode. When he an I, we expected to meet as friends, and nothing else. We were both open to the idea of something happening, and it did; it was a mutual decision, one I am very glad for. Being friends and know a lot about eachother, vanilla side and M/s side has made it so much better, at least as far as I am concerned. After 3 yrs we still are learning about eachother an its a great adventure and experience.

HutchGarahl -> RE: Dominants do you court your potential submissives? (6/9/2007 11:51:02 PM)
I normally try to court someone. It's a bit hard to tell just by looking at someone if that's the one ya wanna be with iffin ya don't get to know them a bit first. And even after we do, and she has my collar...I still try to court her at times. Kinda keeps things flowing and in perspective.

octavia -> RE: Dominants do you court your potential submissives? (6/10/2007 7:45:09 AM)
I find this topic of great interest. In having conversations with Dom men, I find that there are (at least) two very polar ways of going about things. There is the mindset that a man should always be the pursuer, D/s or not. and the mindset that a Dom would not be Domly were he to pursue a girl he is interested in. So... should a girl call a guy, or wait and hope he calls? Simplistic example but I have run into this. twice now, I've found myself trying to figure out if I was being blown off, or if it was just an attempt on the Dom's part to control the interactions and dynamic. I will confess one of those times, I chatted longer than I needed to ( I already knew it wasn't a good fit) just to try and figure out what on earth was motivating his actions. I think.. he wanted me to read his mind. I was supposed to figure out what he wanted me to do, and then he would re engage in conversation. I'm not a mind reader so no go there! [8D]

octavia -> RE: Dominants do you court your potential submissives? (6/10/2007 7:47:22 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster I was kinda joking. "kinda" Must mean he sends em a pretty card that says: "Now get your ass over here." [;)]

earthycouple -> RE: Dominants do you court your potential submissives? (6/10/2007 7:56:06 AM)
I am a jumper by nature. I hate to beat around bushes and waste time so I tend to reel them in or cut bait pretty quickly. Of course with my propensity to jump I also realize I may either reap a benefit or pay a consequence. If I reap...yah for me, if I pay, then that's life and I try not to bitch...after all I made the choice to jump. I love to be "courted" but I also want to find out if I'm compatible in the areas of BDSM fairly quickly, afterall I already have a vanilla husband who I love like crazy. I feel I can tell pretty quickly where I am going or not going with people. So weeks of dates and non bdsm stuff does little for me. Having said all this...now I'll contradict myself. I love that Robert and I started off by talking about who we are as people. As a matter of fact it wasn't until our impending meeting time did we ever talk about what we enjoy and don't in the sex/kink realm. He and I were completely opposite of what has been my modus operandi in the past...and go figure...I love him and own him. There must be something to that whole courting thing.

kyraofMists -> RE: Dominants do you court your potential submissives? (6/10/2007 8:24:43 AM)
If by court your mean romantic gestures, flowers, candy, etc. then no, he did not court me. We did talk, share our thoughts and opinions, learned about each other including past, present and what we wanted in the future. Basically he was just himself and did not try to impress me with what he thought might get my attention. Either I was interested in him for himself or I was not. The romantic gestures and evenings did not come until after I became his. Knight's kyra

blkmaledom -> RE: Dominants do you court your potential submissives? (6/10/2007 8:43:23 AM)
I think "courting" is important in establishing a mind connection and a comfort level.

Lordandmaster -> RE: Dominants do you court your potential submissives? (6/10/2007 8:46:31 AM)
No, just the whole 9 inches. quote: ORIGINAL: MzMia lol, I bet you court very well. Flowers, dinner, the whole 9 yards.[;)]

kyraofMists -> RE: Dominants do you court your potential submissives? (6/10/2007 8:49:54 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster No, just the whole 9 inches. quote: ORIGINAL: MzMia lol, I bet you court very well. Flowers, dinner, the whole 9 yards.[;)] And if memory serves me correctly, I have read that would be a curved 9 inches. g *edited to add a few words to the sentence... I am slightly embarassed that the first sentence could allude to first hand knowledge and not knowledge gained from reading the boards... time to go finish laundry lol

sambamanslilgirl -> RE: Dominants do you court your potential submissives? (6/10/2007 11:55:42 AM)
Daddy wooed me with His eclectic and vast collection of music from Ella to Quincy Jones to Marvin Gaye to world music and friendship before gradually moving into our D/s relationship. He took the time to get to know me as well as my UMs (because as He states - i'm a complete package). funny thing is i wasn't looking for another Dom when we first met even though He was looking for me yet we both weren't looking for casual partners. the more we talked and chatted, it was becoming so clear that we were just more than friends ...soulmates.

TemptingNviceSub -> RE: Dominants do you court your potential submissives? (6/10/2007 2:24:05 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: kyraofMists quote: ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster No, just the whole 9 inches. quote: ORIGINAL: MzMia lol, I bet you court very well. Flowers, dinner, the whole 9 yards.[;)] And if memory serves me correctly, I have read that would be a curved 9 inches. g *edited to add a few words to the sentence... I am slightly embarassed that the first sentence could allude to first hand knowledge and not knowledge gained from reading the boards... time to go finish laundry lol Can I speculate possibly cyber inches??..[:D]..Tempting

Lordandmaster -> RE: Dominants do you court your potential submissives? (6/10/2007 2:36:27 PM)
They hate what they do not know.

Aileen68 -> RE: Dominants do you court your potential submissives? (6/10/2007 3:10:33 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TemptingNviceSub quote: ORIGINAL: kyraofMists quote: ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster No, just the whole 9 inches. quote: ORIGINAL: MzMia lol, I bet you court very well. Flowers, dinner, the whole 9 yards.[;)] And if memory serves me correctly, I have read that would be a curved 9 inches. g *edited to add a few words to the sentence... I am slightly embarassed that the first sentence could allude to first hand knowledge and not knowledge gained from reading the boards... time to go finish laundry lol Can I speculate possibly cyber inches??..[:D]..Tempting Oh most definitely NOT cyber inches. [:)]

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