RE: Begging/asking (Full Version)

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MzMia -> RE: Begging/asking (6/10/2007 10:51:57 PM)

Humm, Whiplash I beg to disagree.
I have found submissive males VERY good at begging.
It seems it is the submissive women that hate doing it.
Many submissive males especially enjoy crawling.
Gotta love it! [:D]
begging and crawling just fuckin go hand in hand.
I loveeeeeeeee humiliation, can you tell?[:D]
weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee



slavegirljoy -> RE: Begging/asking (6/10/2007 10:54:12 PM)

For me, asking my Master for permission is very natural.  i don't even think about it.  i just do it.  But, that is just the way O/our relationship is and always has been.  i like asking Him for permission and i like knowing that He has the power to say "Yes" or "No" or anything else He decides.  i like knowing that He is the decision maker in my life.
 
What i really love, however, is begging, groveling, falling at my Master's feet and wrapping my arms around His legs as i lay prostrate, sometimes not saying anything for awhile, sometimes looking up at His face and begging with my eyes, sometimes saying nothing more than "Please, Master".  Sometimes He will just look down at me and not say anything.  He will wait awhile before asking me what it is that i am begging for.  i love those moments.
 
Begging comes from a place deep inside me and it is one very special way i have of saying to my Master, not that i consider myself to be lowly but, that i consider Him to be far above me.  It is something very special because it is something that i do for no one else, only my Master.  i do not beg anything from anyone else, only Him.  And, to me, that is a very special way of telling Him just how wonderful He is to me and just how highly i regard Him.
 
slave joy
Owned property of Master David
 
quote:

ORIGINAL: MissyRane

So I started thinking about this, I couldn't find anything about it when I searched so bear with me..

I consider myself a submissive.
Despite of that I hate begging/asking whether I may or may not do/get stuff. (no I'm not the most submissive person on earth but still..)

It's easier for me to ask/beg for things I want/need but lets put it this way: I don't really fancy it.
On the other hand asking/begging whether I can or can't DO something is just a big nono for me.

Asking I can deal with but begging is one of the most difficult things I do. I don't really know how to nor do I like it lol

Am I alone here???? Somehow I feel submissives should like asking...heh - I'm not necessarily talking about asking about everything I'm just talking about occasionally..

I know not all submissives like to beg but I'm kinda wondering about the asking&permissions[8|]



MzMia -> RE: Begging/asking (6/10/2007 10:57:25 PM)

Thank you slavegirljoy, your post here, brought 1 tear of joy to me.[sm=applause.gif]
 
Thank you, your Master is so lucky to have you.
 



WhiplashSmile -> RE: Begging/asking (6/10/2007 11:06:30 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: slavegirljoy

For me, asking my Master for permission is very natural.  i don't even think about it.  i just do it.  But, that is just the way O/our relationship is and always has been.  i like asking Him for permission and i like knowing that He has the power to say "Yes" or "No" or anything else He decides.  i like knowing that He is the decision maker in my life.
 
What i really love, however, is begging, groveling, falling at my Master's feet and wrapping my arms around His legs as i lay prostrate, sometimes not saying anything for awhile, sometimes looking up at His face and begging with my eyes, sometimes saying nothing more than "Please, Master".  Sometimes He will just look down at me and not say anything.  He will wait awhile before asking me what it is that i am begging for.  i love those moments.
 
Begging comes from a place deep inside me and it is one very special way i have of saying to my Master, not that i consider myself to be lowly but, that i consider Him to be far above me.  It is something very special because it is something that i do for no one else, only my Master.  i do not beg anything from anyone else, only Him.  And, to me, that is a very special way of telling Him just how wonderful He is to me and just how highly i regard Him.
 
slave joy
Owned property of Master David


Thank you, you've restored my hope and faith again. ;-)



WhiplashSmile -> RE: Begging/asking (6/10/2007 11:09:18 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MzMia

Humm, Whiplash I beg to disagree.
I have found submissive males VERY good at begging.
It seems it is the submissive women that hate doing it.
Many submissive males especially enjoy crawling.
Gotta love it! [:D]
begging and crawling just fuckin go hand in hand.
I loveeeeeeeee humiliation, can you tell?[:D]
weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

I never would have guessed in a million years you love humilation! LOL
You Female Supremacist seem to have all the fun at times though. ;^)



Casie -> RE: Begging/asking (6/10/2007 11:21:14 PM)

I'm horrible at begging and I don't really like it either. I think that is one of the ultimate giving of pride and is hard for alot of submissives. Either way Andy rarely likes me to beg so..



MzMia -> RE: Begging/asking (6/10/2007 11:25:59 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Casie

I'm horrible at begging and I don't really like it either. I think that is one of the ultimate giving of pride and is hard for alot of submissives. Either way Andy rarely likes me to beg so..


That is the point, it is getting to the heart and soul of things.
Real begging, pleading and groveling comes from the soul {unless you are a great actress}
its not an object, a costume or something that you put on and enjoy.
It is humility at its best, it shows the depths of how low you can really go.
The fact that many can not do this, speaks volumes.



Pedestrian -> RE: Begging/asking (6/10/2007 11:39:55 PM)

Edited by pedestrian



LadyHeart -> RE: Begging/asking (6/11/2007 1:16:15 AM)

Personally, I don't like submissives who beg. But that's just me. What I do like, however, is submissives who are creative enough to "ask without asking". How? Well, one example is the submissive who wrote me a lovely story about his fantasy. Will I make sure he gets it one day? Of course I will! If he comes up with another clever way to let me know what he likes, then I'll be all ears. But I also elicit feedback after sessions about things that worked/didn't work/could be improved upon so that means that a submissive shouldn't need to beg. Unless it's part of the scene of course.... evil mind starts ticking over....
:))
LH



slaveish -> RE: Begging/asking (6/11/2007 5:22:57 AM)

Begging was difficult for me. I daresay that for most of us it is something we were taught ~not~ to do, and that lesson was reinforced time and again when we were UMs.

As a young woman, I was taught to be independent and to get what I want ~myself~. I was taught to not rely on anyone to do anything for me if I was not willing to put forth the effort to have what I wanted.

Being vulnerable enough to beg, feeling strongly enough about an issue to beg in the first place, is new territory for me. I love to feel the desire to beg overcome me (I do a better job).

Just as with anything foreign to one's nature, it takes practice, reinforcement, the willingness to fail and to try again next time. It's not easy for a lot of us - many of us have trust issues. Begging is something Master likes, I trust him, I love him, and so it is something I do happily for him.

One of the funniest things is for him to mock me when I'm done, especially when I know I have just given a very bad performance. He puts his own inventive spin on it, puts hysterical words in my mouth, uses a higher pitched voice than his usual yummy New York masculine one, and then when he's done he looks at me and says "Now. Try again."

I'm usually laughing so hard that it takes several attempts to get it out, but I finally get it. It's his way of making me comfortable with the process and it works. He knows me well enough to know that humor makes things easier for me. Maybe, with his help, I will get as good at begging as joy (smiling at joy - that was a lovely story, btw).

The long and the short of it is that of course it's not comfortable for a lot of us but if it is something Master desires, he will know how best to work us into it.



mbes -> RE: Begging/asking (6/11/2007 7:09:42 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: MzMia

quote:

ORIGINAL: Casie

I'm horrible at begging and I don't really like it either. I think that is one of the ultimate giving of pride and is hard for alot of submissives. Either way Andy rarely likes me to beg so..


That is the point, it is getting to the heart and soul of things.
Real begging, pleading and groveling comes from the soul {unless you are a great actress}
its not an object, a costume or something that you put on and enjoy.
It is humility at its best, it shows the depths of how low you can really go.
The fact that many can not do this, speaks volumes.

I find this an interesting perspective, and I'd love to know more about it.
I've always thought of begging as ultimately prideful. For me, it would be taking an answer from him that I consider negative and attempting to change it to suit my own will. I'll do it in bed, and then it is indeed an insistence on my own wants/needs being met, which he sometimes chooses to indulge. Outside of that, if I ask for something and am told no, it would be difficult to shake the idea that begging is still an insistence on my own will being catered to, rather than his. Being human, I've been known to push for that very thing, but I get a better reaction when I've used reason to "argue my case" rather than emotional pleas. I find it much easier to show how low I can go in an effort to please, than in an effort to change an answer I don't like.
Now I wonder how others see the matter, if any would care to comment?



MissyRane -> RE: Begging/asking (6/11/2007 10:36:24 AM)

I find begging to be oh so humiliating I mean you begged when you was a kid and cried if you didn't get what you wanted or pouted or screamed or whateva but here you are a grown up, are you supposed to start developing backwards already? I thought the permission for that was given automatically at 60-70 years old+ (no offence to the pensioners[;)])

I can pretend to beg and I can kiss people's butts endlessly with lotsa drama included but then no it's not from the heart lol but other than that ehhhhhh sorry to disappoint[8|]



Bearlee -> RE: Begging/asking (6/11/2007 11:03:20 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: charlotte12

...begging is difficult because i have a hard time expressing what i want and need. I get uncomfortable at the feeling of someone making a decision based on my needs. However i know that's not good and i know that in a way that's not what's going on because that would imply that i still have some kind of power. I dont know, i'm still thinking through the whole begging thing and i'm glad He's pushing me in that aspect. ...


Wow, such insight, charlotte!  I suspect that is EXACTLY why I don't like begging...and to think I just thought it silly (no doubt because I felt uncomfortable begging). 
 
I am not good at asking (or sometimes even KNOWING) what it is I want.  To find such a Dom as yours would be good for me. 
 
Oh, and someday I will quit asking 'why'...
 
Thank you for your post.
b

Edited to add:

Okay, I agree even asking for permission to go to the bathroom is a bit over the top (unless, for some reason the two of you are playing with 'begging' for the fun of it).  To me...'micro-management' is not something I'm interested in.  But, charlotte made a good point.  Begging would take on a whole new meaning for me should a Dominant be trying to teach me something about asking for what I want.
 
I wonder how many of us DO have trouble asking for what it is we want (need?) just then?  Dang, I have trouble giving directions (with regard to my person (blush)), so there is no doubt I have trouble asking for certain things.
 
b



Bearlee -> RE: Begging/asking (6/11/2007 2:23:21 PM)

 
I dunno...whining squicks me; but by way of this thread, I've come to see there may be good cause for begging.
 
b



hotwater07 -> RE: Begging/asking (6/11/2007 2:49:57 PM)

When I refer to begging it is normally something that the Dom has asked me to do - "Do you want more?  Do you want to come?  You have to beg for it, or I want to hear you beg"

In this instance, it is definitely something that I desire to do, as I wish to please my Sir, it is the feeling of helplessness and ineptitude at begging effectively that makes it difficult.  I don't know what to say nor do I feel that anything I say will be enough.  It is humiliating in that despite my feelings of inadequacy, I will beg, and just hope Sir can feel my sincerity and desire to please.  Even if it makes me feel like a "spoiled little girl in a candy or toy store".
K



CreativeDominant -> RE: Begging/asking (6/11/2007 3:03:11 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: mbes


quote:

ORIGINAL: MzMia

quote:

ORIGINAL: Casie

I'm horrible at begging and I don't really like it either. I think that is one of the ultimate giving of pride and is hard for alot of submissives. Either way Andy rarely likes me to beg so..


That is the point, it is getting to the heart and soul of things.
Real begging, pleading and groveling comes from the soul {unless you are a great actress}
its not an object, a costume or something that you put on and enjoy.
It is humility at its best, it shows the depths of how low you can really go.
The fact that many can not do this, speaks volumes.

I find this an interesting perspective, and I'd love to know more about it.
I've always thought of begging as ultimately prideful. For me, it would be taking an answer from him that I consider negative and attempting to change it to suit my own will. I'll do it in bed, and then it is indeed an insistence on my own wants/needs being met, which he sometimes chooses to indulge. Outside of that, if I ask for something and am told no, it would be difficult to shake the idea that begging is still an insistence on my own will being catered to, rather than his. Being human, I've been known to push for that very thing, but I get a better reaction when I've used reason to "argue my case" rather than emotional pleas. I find it much easier to show how low I can go in an effort to please, than in an effort to change an answer I don't like.
Now I wonder how others see the matter, if any would care to comment?


The real reason for beggin g then is what makes the difference, isn't it? 

If it is simply to get your way, then it is not coming from the soul, it is coming from a manipulative or spoiled or even a controlling aspect of your character.  If it is done because it is to show him/her how low you can go, how you realize that what you are seeking ONLY he/she can grant at that moment (or any other), to show him/her that you realize how much it pleases them to hear you beg despite the humiliation of it for you...and by doing so, you are also giving them a chance to humiliate you which pleases them...then it is not an insistence of your will being catered to but theirs, isn't it?
The mindset of the person doing the asking, the honest self-assessment of what they are trying to do with their asking/begging, is what comes into play.

One could make an argument that "pleading your case", even if done with reason, is still...within a D/s dynamic...a form of asking/begging.  It may be at a more intellectual level and not down to the soul-wrenching, gut-instinct level but it is a start.



rhythmboi -> RE: Begging/asking (6/11/2007 3:43:41 PM)

i think there's a point at which asking is more trouble/work than it's worth to the dom/me.

this reminds me of an intentional community that i visited that had a norm of everyone asking people if it was ok to ask them questions. it's one thing if you say, "is it ok if i ask you a question?" when the question is moderately involved or personal, but another thing if it's asking the time or directions...more trouble than it's worth.



charlotte12 -> RE: Begging/asking (6/11/2007 5:20:12 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Bearlee



I am not good at asking (or sometimes even KNOWING) what it is I want.  To find such a Dom as yours would be good for me. 
 
Oh, and someday I will quit asking 'why'...
 
Thank you for your post.
b

Edited to add:

Okay, I agree even asking for permission to go to the bathroom is a bit over the top (unless, for some reason the two of you are playing with 'begging' for the fun of it).  To me...'micro-management' is not something I'm interested in. 
 
I agree that asking permission to go to the bathroom might be a little over the top for me unless done for a specific reason. I am currently working on pleasing my Master without having to get specific orders on how to do it in that moment. For example, going to bed has been something we've been discussing. I love it when He sends me to bed but i'm working on making sure myself that i get enough sleep since i know it pleases Him for me to be rested.
 
 But, charlotte made a good point.  Begging would take on a whole new meaning for me should a Dominant be trying to teach me something about asking for what I want.
 
Yes, i definitely see it as something that he is helping me with, helping me ask for what i want. I could pretend to beg, and whine and cry about wanting something for hours ( i did go to school for acting..lol) but i want it to be real if i'm begging for something from Him. However, because i have trouble asking for what i want or need it never felt real. I would "beg" if told to but it never felt real becuase i wasn't sure i really wanted whatever it was i was begging for. Thus i disliked begging.

 I wonder how many of us DO have trouble asking for what it is we want (need?) just then?  Dang, I have trouble giving directions (with regard to my person (blush)), so there is no doubt I have trouble asking for certain things.
I dunno. It's food for thought. Thanks for posting to say you relate to what i said. Sometimes i wonder if i'm sounding crazy...lol

 
b






mbes -> RE: Begging/asking (6/11/2007 7:19:02 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant]The real reason for beggin g then is what makes the difference, isn't it?

If it is simply to get your way, then it is not coming from the soul, it is coming from a manipulative or spoiled or even a controlling aspect of your character. If it is done because it is to show him/her how low you can go, how you realize that what you are seeking ONLY he/she can grant at that moment (or any other), to show him/her that you realize how much it pleases them to hear you beg despite the humiliation of it for you...and by doing so, you are also giving them a chance to humiliate you which pleases them...then it is not an insistence of your will being catered to but theirs, isn't it?
The mindset of the person doing the asking, the honest self-assessment of what they are trying to do with their asking/begging, is what comes into play.

One could make an argument that "pleading your case", even if done with reason, is still...within a D/s dynamic...a form of asking/begging. It may be at a more intellectual level and not down to the soul-wrenching, gut-instinct level but it is a start.

Ah, thanks, that helps a lot!
I don't have a lot of problems asking for what I want, and strangely, as I let go of my own wants it's getting easier to ask. Neither of us is much into humiliation in general, but this is very good food for thought. [:)]



slavegirljoy -> RE: Begging/asking (6/11/2007 10:50:33 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant

quote:

ORIGINAL: mbes


quote:

ORIGINAL: MzMia

quote:

ORIGINAL: Casie

I'm horrible at begging and I don't really like it either. I think that is one of the ultimate giving of pride and is hard for alot of submissives. Either way Andy rarely likes me to beg so..


That is the point, it is getting to the heart and soul of things.
Real begging, pleading and groveling comes from the soul {unless you are a great actress}
its not an object, a costume or something that you put on and enjoy.
It is humility at its best, it shows the depths of how low you can really go.
The fact that many can not do this, speaks volumes.

I find this an interesting perspective, and I'd love to know more about it.
I've always thought of begging as ultimately prideful. For me, it would be taking an answer from him that I consider negative and attempting to change it to suit my own will. I'll do it in bed, and then it is indeed an insistence on my own wants/needs being met, which he sometimes chooses to indulge. Outside of that, if I ask for something and am told no, it would be difficult to shake the idea that begging is still an insistence on my own will being catered to, rather than his. Being human, I've been known to push for that very thing, but I get a better reaction when I've used reason to "argue my case" rather than emotional pleas. I find it much easier to show how low I can go in an effort to please, than in an effort to change an answer I don't like.
Now I wonder how others see the matter, if any would care to comment?


The real reason for beggin g then is what makes the difference, isn't it? 

If it is simply to get your way, then it is not coming from the soul, it is coming from a manipulative or spoiled or even a controlling aspect of your character.  If it is done because it is to show him/her how low you can go, how you realize that what you are seeking ONLY he/she can grant at that moment (or any other), to show him/her that you realize how much it pleases them to hear you beg despite the humiliation of it for you...and by doing so, you are also giving them a chance to humiliate you which pleases them...then it is not an insistence of your will being catered to but theirs, isn't it?
The mindset of the person doing the asking, the honest self-assessment of what they are trying to do with their asking/begging, is what comes into play.

One could make an argument that "pleading your case", even if done with reason, is still...within a D/s dynamic...a form of asking/begging.  It may be at a more intellectual level and not down to the soul-wrenching, gut-instinct level but it is a start.


i don't beg to get something for me.  i beg to give something special to my Master.  i give Him what He desires and what pleases Him and what shows Him my deep respect for His position and power over me.  Begging to my Master isn't an act of humiliation or degradation, to me.  It is an act of displaying how much i look up to Him.  i do not and would not beg for anything from anyone else, unless i was totally desperate, and that would be humiliating and degrading to me.
 
If i had to go out and stand on a street corner and hold a sign saying, "Please help!" or had to hold a cup out to strangers and beg them for some "spare change", that would make me cringe and make me feel like the lowest of life forms (not to put down anyone who has found themself in that position at some point in their life but, just to illustrate how different i would feel doing that sort of begging, as opposed to the begging i do for my Master).
 
There are many, many things that i do for and to and with my Master that i would never, ever think of doing with, to, or for anyone else.  Begging is right up there, near the top of the list of things that i do for my Master that i wouldn't do for anyone else, without feeling really horrible about it.
 
If i want something, i will ask my Master but, if He says "No", then i accept His answer and i don't start pleading with Him, although i do sometimes give Him my "sad puppy eyes" to see if He will change His mind but, that's rare and it never works, so i give it up quickly.  When i am begging or groveling before Him, it is never for anything that i am trying to get.  It is always for showing Him just how much i look up to Him.  i only ever beg Him where i can lay my body down at His feet.  That is how i do my begging to my Master.
 
To me, begging comes from either, 1) feeling a very deep sense of desperation or, 2) feeling a very deep respect for another and the desire to show that person just how deep the feeling of respect is.  The first case would cause me to have a very bad feeling, one of deep despair.  But, the second case gives me a very good feeling, one that causes me a great deal of sexual excitement and is a source of comfort to me. 
 
slave joy
Owned property of Master David



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