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Begging/asking - 6/10/2007 11:02:41 AM

MissyRane

Posts: 1032
Joined: 5/11/2005
Status: offline

So I started thinking about this, I couldn't find anything about it when I searched so bear with me..

I consider myself a submissive.
Despite of that I hate begging/asking whether I may or may not do/get stuff. (no I'm not the most submissive person on earth but still..)

It's easier for me to ask/beg for things I want/need but lets put it this way: I don't really fancy it.
On the other hand asking/begging whether I can or can't DO something is just a big nono for me.

Asking I can deal with but begging is one of the most difficult things I do. I don't really know how to nor do I like it lol

Am I alone here???? Somehow I feel submissives should like asking...heh - I'm not necessarily talking about asking about everything I'm just talking about occasionally..

I know not all submissives like to beg but I'm kinda wondering about the asking&permissions

Post #: 1

RE: Begging/asking - 6/10/2007 11:13:39 AM

sleazybutterfly

Posts: 2801
Joined: 5/15/2006
Status: offline

I don't really ask permission to do things. I sort of just know what needs to be done and I do what it takes to get there. I have expectations set on me and I try to always fulfill those. I do discuss things with M if they are going to impact my/our/his life, but I would extend the same respect to anyone that I was in a relationship with.

_____________________________

~Flutterby
~Curvylicious
Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, she became a butterfly.
Life is not a popularity contest, it's better to be hated for what you believe, than loved for a lie.

(in reply to MissyRane)

Post #: 2

RE: Begging/asking - 6/10/2007 11:16:35 AM

charlotte12

Posts: 471
Joined: 5/9/2006
Status: offline

There are some things i like not because i personally enjoy them but because i know they please Him. Then the more i do them and He is pleased and i enjoy His pleasure i start to find i enjoy the activity more.

I enjoy asking permission for things but begging is hard for me. I am enjoying Him pushing me to let go and beg. I think there are no set rules of what a submissive should and shouldn't enjoy, although s/he should enjoy pleasing Master. For me begging is difficult because i have a hard time expressing what i want and need. I get uncomfortable at the feeling of someone making a decision based on my needs. However i know that's not good and i know that in a way that's not what's going on because that would imply that i still have some kind of power. I dont know, i'm still thinking through the whole begging thing and i'm glad He's pushing me in that aspect. I doubt that's why you don't like it but thought i'd throw in my 2 cents.

(in reply to MissyRane)

Post #: 3

RE: Begging/asking - 6/10/2007 11:18:46 AM

earthycouple

Posts: 4462
Joined: 2/19/2006
Status: offline

I hope I never put my slave in the position of begging unless in the context of fun and games. I own him and he must ask for certain things such as going out. It is very simple "Mistress, I'd like to go out tomorrow around 5 p.m. to see a movie and have dinner with X and I plan to be home around 9, is this ok with you?" and I give him an answer. No big formalities...plain and simple. I expect him to ask because if he just did it, he may be shirking a responsibility at home that he didn't even realize he was to attend. It really is all about communication.

I don't expect him him to ask to read a book, go online, or sit outside...because I know where to find him should I need or want him and I know Robert would never put me second to anything. He would lose playing a game online to serve an immediate need or want of mine because he knows a game is a game and I am Mistress.

As for something "emergent" or "necessary" like his return to PA due to family things...of course he didn't have to ask...that was MUCH more important than my garage getting cleaned or my toes getting a pedicure or my want for fire play or my need for quiet snuggle and talk time. He simply said "X is going on and I need to leave."

I don't care if he stops on his way home from work to grab a snack or if he wants to pick up something from the store or some such thing. Though if he plans or sees he is going to be late I want to know so I don't worry (I'd also like him to bother to ask if I want anything since he is stopping).

He doesn't have to ask how to do his work, to eat, to drink, to use the bathroom...etc. I personally don't have time to micromanage that sort of stuff. Others thrive on it.

_____________________________

D~

Seeking, searching, hoping, living, loving, jumping. So what's new with you?

(in reply to MissyRane)

Post #: 4

RE: Begging/asking - 6/10/2007 11:35:50 AM

Level

Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: charlotte12

I think there are no set rules of what a submissive should and shouldn't enjoy, although s/he should enjoy pleasing Master.

Well said.

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to charlotte12)

Post #: 5

RE: Begging/asking - 6/10/2007 11:39:36 AM

sambamanslilgirl

Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline

with Daddy and me, it's the opposite but i don't have to beg. yes i do have to ask for His permission for certain things (ie meeting/dating men or attending fetish parties) however i don't have to ask Him every minute when i need to go to the bathroom, eat lunch or take my UMs to school - way too much micromanaged work for Him. there are times when Daddy does ask if there's a special gift i would like to receive or He'll show me what He bought for me. i'm free to express my wants/needs/cravings to Him at any time i like.

_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...

...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to earthycouple)

Post #: 6

RE: Begging/asking - 6/10/2007 11:44:02 AM

imthatacheyouhav

Posts: 1259
Joined: 4/16/2007
Status: offline

I'm not real comfortable with begging either....and i'm not sure how even or what to say really.

_____________________________

*if you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything*
**collared July 22 2007 by LordKen**

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)

Post #: 7

RE: Begging/asking - 6/10/2007 11:50:41 AM

MissyRane

Posts: 1032
Joined: 5/11/2005
Status: offline

ya well in relationships I'm more like...hey I'm going blablablablabla (...wanna join? if it fits) and if I would be in a d/s relationship I can't imagine asking may i go blablablablabla or do blablablablabla unless it was something like major decision or something that I know not everybody would be comfortable with.

(in reply to imthatacheyouhav)

Post #: 8

RE: Begging/asking - 6/10/2007 11:58:18 AM

angelic

Posts: 1807
Joined: 1/24/2005
Status: offline

Hmm... interesting thread. First off, i am unowned. That being said if i cannot simply ask for permission to do something or if i want/need something and the 'Master' wants me to beg for it, i am much more likely to simply walk away. Not because i did not get my way, but because begging takes a great deal of energy (at least for me it does) and i simply do not want to waste my energy on begging for something when there are so many other uses for my energy. If i ask and the answer is a resounding no, sobeit, but do not ask me to add salt to the proverbial 'wound' by demanding that i beg for it. Trust me, i don't want it that badly!

_____________________________

~....and once you have tasted flight, you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been and there you long to return.~ -- Leonardo de Vinci

(in reply to MissyRane)

Post #: 9

RE: Begging/asking - 6/10/2007 12:17:48 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

It's very difficult to give up that type of control and vulnerability of yourself. To expose yourself so openly and actively on your part. It's very normal to have trouble with it in some way.

The begging of slaves

Begging

Subs...asking/begging

The act of begging

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to MissyRane)

Post #: 10

RE: Begging/asking - 6/10/2007 12:57:00 PM

xolarkinxo

Posts: 73
Joined: 9/10/2005
Status: offline

There are times when I ask permission for things that I want; a martini when he takes me out to eat for example. I would not beg for one if he said no. I would feel I was being disrespectful towards him. Day to day living activities I do not have to ask permission to do. Neither of us want that in our relationship. There are times; however, when he enjoys humiliating me by making me beg. And that is how it feels to me. Humiliating. Part of that comes from not knowing how to do it; thinking I may be doing it wrong. It can be difficult to learn how to beg when the only examples I have seen have been bratty children begging for ice cream or not to go to bed quite yet. Which brings me to the other humiliating part of it. Looking and acting childish. I do not like to be seen as childish or stupid and part of me feels that way when I beg. The only time so far that I have not thought about how I sound or look to him is when I am whipped to the point of begging him to stop. I don't feel self-conscious or silly because at that point my inhibitions are gone. It comes down to when and how the "begging" is initiated. If it is ordered on the spot for his amusement, it is humiliating. If it is coming from within me, my "self" has completely surrendered to him. And if I am begging for something just because I do not agree with his decision, it is disrespectful.

(in reply to angelic)

Post #: 11

RE: Begging/asking - 6/10/2007 7:57:30 PM

goodgirl85

Posts: 221
Joined: 4/16/2007
Status: offline

My ex never really made me beg for things. He didn't even require that I asked him to out with friends, but also liked to know where I was. We lived in different states, so it wasn't like he could look inon me or anything but because the majority of my friends are guys, I willingly would ask him if i could go out to so and sos. He normally also said yes. I would def. ask him if I was to be going out to a club. Sometimes, he would tell me (no matter where I was going) that I was to be home at a certain time, or that I was not allowed to drink any alcohol. Once he even told me I was to wear jeans and a tshirt, with no makeup. These things (apart from telling me when to be home, what to wear, and what to/not to drink I would tell any guy I was dating in a vanilla relationship aspect. Just like I wouldn't with VR guy I wouldn't tell D/s guy that when I am at so and sos that I took a ride to x's house or whatever.

I had to ask, before I did anything major to my hair. (cut it more than a trim, or dye it) I wouldn't have asked if I was in a vanilla relationship. I would just do it. If he didn't like it to bad. Needless to say one of the first things I did when I got out of this relationship was to cut 12 inches of my hair off.

My current Dom hasn't expressed any concern to ask him before I do anything. I certainly would't beg, I enjoy sitting at home reading a good book just as much as I like to go out and have a few drinks and dance at the clubs.

The only I would beg for, would be if he wanted me to beg for a punishment, or if he wanted me to beg him to stop something. (obviously within my tolerance of particular activity), or to cum. Then its more of a lot of whimpers and please let me, I'll do anything, I'll be a good girl type of of stuff.

girl

(in reply to xolarkinxo)

Post #: 12

RE: Begging/asking - 6/10/2007 8:10:38 PM

mbes

Posts: 465
Joined: 12/14/2006
Status: offline

The only time I'll beg is in bed. He doesn't say no often, though, and if I have a valid reason to change his mind he does so.

(in reply to goodgirl85)

Post #: 13

RE: Begging/asking - 6/10/2007 8:16:53 PM

Wildfleurs

Posts: 1650
Joined: 9/24/2004
From: Connecticut
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissyRane

So I started thinking about this, I couldn't find anything about it when I searched so bear with me..

I consider myself a submissive.
Despite of that I hate begging/asking whether I may or may not do/get stuff. (no I'm not the most submissive person on earth but still..)

It's easier for me to ask/beg for things I want/need but lets put it this way: I don't really fancy it.
On the other hand asking/begging whether I can or can't DO something is just a big nono for me.

Asking I can deal with but begging is one of the most difficult things I do. I don't really know how to nor do I like it lol

Am I alone here???? Somehow I feel submissives should like asking...heh - I'm not necessarily talking about asking about everything I'm just talking about occasionally..

I know not all submissives like to beg but I'm kinda wondering about the asking&permissions

I don't consider myself all that good at begging. I used to be worse, but its a little bit easier for me these days (for me its that I have this pride ego block that just makes it difficult). Its much easier for me to ask for something than to beg for something, but either way its still a little bit of a block. But I have found the more I do it the easier it is.

In terms of liking it, I don't think submissives are supposed to like everything that they do or have done to them or decided for them, so not liking it is just the way it is for you. But it doesn't mean that you won't have to do it sometime in the future for your dominant (I wasn't clear on if you currently had a dominant or such so thats why I placed it in future tense).

C~

_____________________________

"Just because you've always done it that way doesn't mean it's not incredibly stupid." -despair.com

~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The heart of it all - http://www.wildfleurs.com
~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

(in reply to MissyRane)

Post #: 14

RE: Begging/asking - 6/10/2007 8:29:40 PM

truesub4u

Posts: 2949
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissyRane

So I started thinking about this, I couldn't find anything about it when I searched so bear with me..

I consider myself a submissive.
Despite of that I hate begging/asking whether I may or may not do/get stuff. (no I'm not the most submissive person on earth but still..)

It's easier for me to ask/beg for things I want/need but lets put it this way: I don't really fancy it.
On the other hand asking/begging whether I can or can't DO something is just a big nono for me.

Asking I can deal with but begging is one of the most difficult things I do. I don't really know how to nor do I like it lol

Am I alone here???? Somehow I feel submissives should like asking...heh - I'm not necessarily talking about asking about everything I'm just talking about occasionally..

I know not all submissives like to beg but I'm kinda wondering about the asking&permissions

Oh no... you are not alone at all. It gets to the point with me, i'm considered a bedroom submissive.. or fake.. you name it.

It's not my idea of fun having to ask if I can go to the bathroom. Can I do this, do that. It's even funnier when talking to someone on line and I tell them..brb. And they come back with...."you didn't ask permission"....roflmao!

When in person, I can ask certain things. But begging isn't in my blood. And if I have to beg, I would just as soon do with out. Or I smile and just go ahead. It depends on the person i'm with.

There's nothing wrong with those that can... or like to ask and beg. As they say...to each their own. But as for myself... it's nice to see i'm not the only one out their either that doesn't have a taste for it.

< Message edited by truesub4u -- 6/10/2007 8:40:30 PM >

_____________________________

Wisdom is knowing what to do next, Skill is knowing how to do it, and Virtue is doing it.

(in reply to MissyRane)

Post #: 15

RE: Begging/asking - 6/10/2007 8:30:04 PM

dawntreader

Posts: 3045
Joined: 11/23/2006
Status: offline

i am horrible at begging...i think it is because i haven't had much practice~

_____________________________

It is choice - not chance - that determines our destiny~
Jean Nidetch

There is a war going on for your mind...if you are thinking, you are winning~
Flobots

(in reply to MissyRane)

Post #: 16

RE: Begging/asking - 6/10/2007 10:28:24 PM

Noah

Posts: 1660
Joined: 7/5/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissyRane

So I started thinking about this, I couldn't find anything about it when I searched so bear with me..

I consider myself a submissive.
Despite of that I hate begging/asking whether I may or may not do/get stuff. (no I'm not the most submissive person on earth but still..)

It's easier for me to ask/beg for things I want/need but lets put it this way: I don't really fancy it.
On the other hand asking/begging whether I can or can't DO something is just a big nono for me.

Asking I can deal with but begging is one of the most difficult things I do. I don't really know how to nor do I like it lol

Am I alone here???? Somehow I feel submissives should like asking...heh - I'm not necessarily talking about asking about everything I'm just talking about occasionally..

I know not all submissives like to beg but I'm kinda wondering about the asking&permissions

I like the way this thread is already demonstrating that the very word beg means different things to different people and as well that the begging dynamic can be present or absent in all sorts of different ways.

(by the way, I just love the implication somewhere above about willingness to submit to anything that doesn't involve sub-optimal energy utilization. And from an on-owned submissive--who'da thunk? There are so many flavors at this ice cream stand.)

(in reply to MissyRane)

Post #: 17

RE: Begging/asking - 6/10/2007 10:34:14 PM

MzMia

Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline

I love when a submissive {that I care about} begs, pleads, grovels and crawls.
I think it is hot, and it turns me on.
begging is very underrated

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain

What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to MissyRane)

Post #: 18

RE: Begging/asking - 6/10/2007 10:41:08 PM

octavia

Posts: 377
Joined: 5/20/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

It's very difficult to give up that type of control and vulnerability of yourself. To expose yourself so openly and actively on your part. It's very normal to have trouble with it in some way.

The begging of slaves

Begging

Subs...asking/begging

The act of begging

I think you are RIGHT on here LA. It is about being vulnerable and opening yourself up. Takes an incredible amount of trust I would suspect. In my one and only D/s relationship ... I can only remember a handful of times that i begged, and they were a direct result of him commanding me too. Even then.. i remember a huge internal struggle to get the words out. As much as I wanted to obey him and please him... it was very very difficult to do.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 19

RE: Begging/asking - 6/10/2007 10:49:23 PM

WhiplashSmile

Posts: 1472
Joined: 6/8/2004
Status: offline

Darn... I suppose it's going to be hard finding somebody that will simply beg like a spoiled little girl in a candy or toy store. Oh come on here, you guys are taking all the fun out of it now, shattering my illusions. You guys are heartless and cold. Pffttt.. refusing to beg for anything. Can't you even attempt to put on a show, by begging for something you really don't want? Don't tell me it's hard to find a good proper begging submissive? ;-)

(in reply to MissyRane)

Post #: 20

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