RE: Is is wrong for a sub to demand his/her's desire

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RE: Is is wrong for a sub to demand his/her's desire - 6/14/2007 12:15:19 AM

BlkTallFullfig

Posts: 5585
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Demanding anything from a submissive/slave's position may be your problem.
I strongly suggest finding someone who enjoys those things you desire, than behaving in a way that may win you favors with her. Or beg...

M

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RE: Is is wrong for a sub to demand his/her's desire - 6/14/2007 3:32:29 AM

Politesub53

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Politesub53

Opps..... i meant demand before a relationship begins.

Addicted2it... i posted the above between the quote you mentioned and your post. If you had read it you would have seen its clear i meant before becomming involved. If you had read the first reply to the Op i stated a submissive should never demand.

You assume wrongly, as i indeed identify myself as submissive, some people see a vast difference between the two terms, personally i dont. i see the duty of slave and submissive to be much the same and consider both labels that we chose to give ourselves. my choice was submissive.

Since your post stated you had never lectured anyone, i guess i was a first. If thats the case, you should have read the whole thread in its entirety, including my quote about demands being made before hand.
Even if you have been in the lifestyle as long as you say, your opinions are not any more or any less valid than my own.

< Message edited by Politesub53 -- 6/14/2007 3:33:53 AM >

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RE: Is is wrong for a sub to demand his/her's desire - 6/14/2007 7:59:09 AM

undergroundsea

Posts: 2400
Joined: 6/27/2004
From: Austin, TX
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Demanding works great!

This weekend I demanded that I be given a beating. And it worked! Now granted it was a little different than what I had in mind but the black eye should be fine in a few days.

;-)

Other posters have already said lots of good things about demanding things like safety, etc.

As for specific interests, I think demanding is not good when one is focused on his interests only, or the demand is like an order. If there is an interest that is central to one's expression of submission, I think it is fair to say so. And if time has shown there is not compatibility of D/s interests and philosophies, I think it is fair to say so.

In practice, my interactions have been based on mutual personal interest, which lessens the likelihood for the type of opposition suggested by this question.

Cheers,

Sea

< Message edited by undergroundsea -- 6/14/2007 8:00:36 AM >

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RE: Is is wrong for a sub to demand his/her's desire - 6/14/2007 8:25:56 AM

addicted2it

Posts: 322
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From: California
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quote:

ORIGINAL: undergroundsea

Demanding works great!

This weekend I demanded that I be given a beating. And it worked! Now granted it was a little different than what I had in mind but the black eye should be fine in a few days.

I guess I don't really "get" the demand thing. It sort of ruins the whole experience for me.

I come from a background where seeking out the services of a professional dominant was the only way to find what I was looking for. And even though I paid for it, and was entitled to ask for a particular scenario, I never demanded anything.

So for me, demanding something from a domme is akin to a betrail of my personal beliefs, as well as well as a big contributing factor in the disolution of the fantasy and the reality of it. Poof, it has magically disappeared! Fancy that!

And if a demand is what is required to get what I need, then I would surely go back to vanilla, which I intend to do this evening when I meet with a vanilla woman who is not only interesting, but who seems to be interested in me.

So much for D/s, eh? :-P

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RE: Is is wrong for a sub to demand his/her's desire - 6/14/2007 10:17:56 AM

undergroundsea

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quote:

ORIGINAL: addicted2it

quote:

ORIGINAL: undergroundsea
Demanding works great!

This weekend I demanded that I be given a beating. And it worked! Now granted it was a little different than what I had in mind but the black eye should be fine in a few days.

I guess I don't really "get" the demand thing.

I hope though that you did get it was joke ;-)

Cheers,

Sea

(in reply to addicted2it)

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RE: Is is wrong for a sub to demand his/her's desire - 6/15/2007 9:23:04 AM

addicted2it

Posts: 322
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From: California
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quote:

ORIGINAL: undergroundsea

quote:

ORIGINAL: addicted2it

quote:

ORIGINAL: undergroundsea
Demanding works great!

This weekend I demanded that I be given a beating. And it worked! Now granted it was a little different than what I had in mind but the black eye should be fine in a few days.

I guess I don't really "get" the demand thing.

I hope though that you did get it was joke ;-)

Cheers,

Sea

Yes, I did get the joke! :-) You have a very off-beat sense of humor, my friend, and much the same as mine. Often people just don't "get it." Maybe they're wrapped too tightly or something. When I find myself in that frame of mind, simply interjecting humor will often dissipate the anger and frustration of the moment.

I think the important lesson to be learned from all of this is that life if just too short to be wound up and ready to self-destruct over something so insignificant when compared to the many more important issues of the day.

Cheers,

Phil

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RE: Is is wrong for a sub to demand his/her's desire - 6/15/2007 11:26:58 AM

Politesub53

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Each and everyone of us have off days. The trick is not to let it get personal and carry it into every thread, where you both cross paths.

Argue, disagree, debate, even cuss, then move on to another day.

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RE: Is is wrong for a sub to demand his/her's desire - 6/26/2007 9:02:44 AM

Prof25

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Directed to Miss Harlet. I didn't intend to offend. I am new at this lifestyle. Learning a little each day.

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RE: Is is wrong for a sub to demand his/her's desire - 6/26/2007 7:01:29 PM

asubmissiveheart

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When did submissives begin to demand things?
You do have a long way to go, good luck.
Start with learning what submission, means.

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RE: Is is wrong for a sub to demand his/her's desire - 6/26/2007 7:21:54 PM

sweetnurseBBW

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I wouldn't dare demand anything from Master. If there is something I would like to do or experience I ask for it in a respectful way. Certainly you can express your desires. We often talk of things we would like to do but I certainly do not demand anything. I have never had a problem with Master wanting to do things I desired when asked for appropriately.

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RE: Is is wrong for a sub to demand his/her's desire - 6/26/2007 8:53:45 PM

GoddessinDallas

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With a name like you have, I wouldn't seeyou

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RE: Is is wrong for a sub to demand his/her's desire - 6/27/2007 7:51:22 AM

MistressStevie

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Hi Lady Heart
I liked the way you dealt with "is it wrong for a sub to demand". Its true that that are many ways for a sub to get their needs met and desires furfilled and to demand is a sure way to miss out.
Mistress Stevie

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RE: Is is wrong for a sub to demand his/her's desire - 6/27/2007 3:42:00 PM

rob425

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Joined: 12/1/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessDustyGold

Demand? Yes...
Make desires known? No.
But then I am of the camp that we are not role playing, we are living our natural roles.

Agreed! I am a firm believer as a submissive I am there for the dominant, not myself and I will do things that please them cause thats why I am there. I use to hate anal play until I forced myself(noitice I said I forced myself is wasn't force upon me) to try it and I ended up loving it

I am a huge believe in communication and in this communications kinks discussed on both sides. But saying I need to worship feet or kiss ass this session would mean i am not in the lifestyle just playing a role.

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