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RE: defining limits? - 6/13/2007 9:00:20 AM

SirDominic

Posts: 711
Joined: 11/22/2006
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quote:

How is someone who honestly doesn't know to honestly, and appropriately represent that?

By saying just that to the Dominant. "I'm kinda new, and I don't really know where my limits are yet". If he has any skill at all, he will keep extra special watch on you and your reactions, ask how you are doing from time to time. A skilled Dominant must be able to decide for themselves when enough is enough, irrespective of the sub. There have been times where I have stopped the action, even though my slave has said she could go further. But my take on her reactions is, that is enough for now.

I do not agree with you that it is unfair to even talk to a potential Master until you have this resolved. The only way you are going to discover your limits is to test them. This is not something you can "think" through, but something you have to develop a feel for. (With the exceptions of hard limits, of course, which you should have a pretty good idea what those are. Not that they always will be, but that they are for now).

Namaste, Sir Dominic

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RE: defining limits? - 6/13/2007 10:47:53 AM

Celeste43

Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline

Hormonal fluctuations change pain tolerance as well. I know a woman who swears that one week a month he could spank her with a two by four and she would just grin, but rip his head off if he tried it at the wrong time.

As far as someone who expects you will know ahead of time about things you have no experience with, or not accept I don't know, they've proven themselves someone you don't want to know better.

Personally I prefer to start with the stuff I know I love and will want to come back for more. And then slowly try out the less appealing stuff.

(in reply to SirDominic)

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Post #: 22

RE: defining limits? - 6/13/2007 12:14:10 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SirDominic
And that is a problem because????? "Somethings wrong, I need attention NOW" gets the point across as plain as it can be said, seems to me.

I dunno, are you actually asking me how I feel about safewords? I can give you a few dozen links if you want to know my views on that.

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Post #: 23

RE: defining limits? - 6/13/2007 12:16:07 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: slaverosebeauty
Safewords ARE like the 1 to 10, just with words. I use 5 different words {each has a different meaning}, they are equivelant to triage; just no numbers, words that convey the same thing. 'Red' means STOP ALL action. No questions, just STOP. that would be equivelant for me to a 9/10.

Wow that's just way too complicated and interfering for me to have to deal with in a scene. First I have to get a signal, then interpret what it likely means, then confirm what it REALLY means and then take action.

With so much else going on in a scene that would so not work for me. I want clear and direct.

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Post #: 24