RE: Am i soo wrong? (Full Version)

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domiguy -> RE: Am i soo wrong? (6/12/2007 9:27:55 PM)

Some people are just jerks...I used to get hate mail about my profile all of the time just because of the fact that I mentioned that I am under a collar of protection.......Hmmmm.....Or was it because I wrote that JonBenet Ramsey might have "had it coming?"....Either way too many of the people out here are complete morons.



fairerthanshe -> RE: Am i soo wrong? (6/12/2007 9:32:26 PM)

Goodness gracious man!  You crack me up!

I get all kinds of people asking me how I got so lucky to wear your collar of protection.

winks ~ fairer



juliaoceania -> RE: Am i soo wrong? (6/12/2007 9:46:29 PM)

I think that by writing that you are being "protected" that in fact you are waving a red flag in front of a bull's nose.. lets see the logic that you are exercising

1) sub hates rude obnoxious emails

2) nice dom offers to filter them out

3) sub then puts this on her profile

net result? Nice doms don't bother, and rude ones decide "how dare this lowly sub bitch try to stop ME from emailing her.. and who does this dom think he is that he can dom me into not contacting her????"

I experienced this once with someone I politely requested not to email me because I am taken (this was written in my profile, but he kept emailing me anyways). He was bent out of shape for me to suggest that he shouldn't email me.. even exchanged an email or two with my Daddy over it.

Now my point is that you are not going to be protected from nasty freaks just because you are protected... so why bother being protected? I could understand it if your motivation was to attend real life functions and you felt like wearing a collar for the evening so not to be bothered to play, but over the internet, it just isn't possible to protect you from users deciding to be rude and contact you... in fact it might spark a stalker.

My advice, don't block, don't email the weirdos back... ask your "protector" to give feedback on red flags that you see, talk about your potentials.. and if you cannot trust your own judgment in selecting a dominant, perhaps you should think about that for a while before becoming attached to one.



DarkDreams123 -> RE: Am i soo wrong? (6/12/2007 10:55:59 PM)

Greetings grlneedstolearn,

One thing I notice about your profile is that you don't really state what you ARE looking for. You don't tell me anything about yourself or the Dominant that you are looking for (or if you are really looking, for that matter).

Most of what you say is negative. Why not try a more positive approach?

Good luck,

-DarkDreams



Totalmaster4you -> RE: Am i soo wrong? (6/13/2007 2:32:01 AM)

I don't think you've done anything deserving of hate mail. I would make a couple of suggestions. Get rid of the journals because they could be seen as a challenge because of the negativity. Change the way you refer to your Dom. Change it to say that you are so and so's sub/slave and want friends only. It seems that saying things like under the protection, implies you are still looking.
Good luck
(edited for spelling and flow)



happypervert -> RE: Am i soo wrong? (6/13/2007 7:07:45 AM)

quote:

Is there a better way instead of protector? Should i change it to Mentor instead?

I'm curious why you think a man is the best choice for this role, and why you can't talk about boys with girlfriends?

And if you don't have any kinky girlfriends to discuss boys with, then why can't you find some instead of peddling your vulnerability to some knight in shining armor you'd call a mentor or protector?



dawntreader -> RE: Am i soo wrong? (6/13/2007 7:15:04 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: fairerthanshe

Goodness gracious man!  You crack me up!

I get all kinds of people asking me how I got so lucky to wear your collar of protection.

winks ~ fairer



Some girls have all the luck!!!![;)]



Rover -> RE: Am i soo wrong? (6/13/2007 7:17:22 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: happypervert

And if you don't have any kinky girlfriends to discuss boys with, then why can't you find some instead of peddling your vulnerability to some knight in shining armor you'd call a mentor or protector?


Do you know what it costs to keep armor shining these days?  To say nothing of the time spent polishing.  Sheesh... some people are so unappreciative.
 
John



meticulousgirl -> RE: Am i soo wrong? (6/13/2007 7:27:33 AM)

Hey grl to answer your question I dont think that I've ever received hate mail but then again I dont post "my life story" online.  I'm not saying you do but unless I give an opinion on the forums your not going to find much about me and my personal life on my profile.  What i do is private in and out of the bedroom, and i dont speak about it not only to protect myself but who ever it is that i am with as well.

Best of luck to you.



drawntothedark -> RE: Am i soo wrong? (6/13/2007 7:28:38 AM)

What I have heard time and time again from men is that they will not bother with a profile that has "UNDER PROTECTION" written anywhere on a girls profile.

It's a waste of their time they say because if she can't be grown up enough to make her own choices how will she ever be grown up enough to serve him.

Also most will not "jump" through hoops for you. They aren't going to give a flip what some other Dom tells them to do with regards to you. So they simply won't bother with the collar of protection girls.

Having it on your profile may be limiting your options.

But about your problem with the hate mail. The best advice I can think of is ignore it, go on and block the person causing you pain.

This is the internet and your gonna get jerks. It's the nature of the beast. Of course, collarme in their infinate wisdom gave you a block button to use. Just push it and the bad men go away like- magic!



meticulousgirl -> RE: Am i soo wrong? (6/13/2007 7:38:57 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Totalmaster4you

I don't think you've done anything deserving of hate mail. I would make a couple of suggestions. Get rid of the journals because they could be seen as a challenge because of the negativity. Change the way you refer to your Dom. Change it to say that you are so and so's sub/slave and want friends only. It seems that saying things like under the protection, implies you are still looking.
Good luck
(edited for spelling and flow)


I kind of have to agree with Total Master even though what he is suggesting may seem unfair maybe it is in your best interest at least for the time being.  Wording tends to be everything these days as well as personal appearance of course!




SadisticMan -> RE: Am i soo wrong? (6/13/2007 7:46:05 AM)

what does it mean to be under the protection of a Dom?
Are you on the federal witness relocation program or something?
He is armed while out with you?

sorry, I'm just being a smart-ass, but I think many of us don't
understand the "collar of protection".  That and the "mentor"
seems to me a way to "collar" a sub, control them and their activities
under the guise of helpfulness.  You are in effect a slave to them right?
Under their control, some are absolute controlling, even your emails
and contacts. I dont' see how that can't be slavery to someone.




hiddendesires2 -> RE: Am i soo wrong? (6/13/2007 7:48:24 AM)

No one has the right to judge you. If it feels right for you, then continue. Call it what YOU are comfortable with. Do remember that block button.



SadisticMan -> RE: Am i soo wrong? (6/13/2007 7:49:41 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: drawntothedark

What I have heard time and time again from men is that they will not bother with a profile that has "UNDER PROTECTION" written anywhere on a girls profile.

It's a waste of their time they say because if she can't be grown up enough to make her own choices how will she ever be grown up enough to serve him.

Also most will not "jump" through hoops for you. They aren't going to give a flip what some other Dom tells them to do with regards to you. So they simply won't bother with the collar of protection girls.

Having it on your profile may be limiting your options.

But about your problem with the hate mail. The best advice I can think of is ignore it, go on and block the person causing you pain.

This is the internet and your gonna get jerks. It's the nature of the beast. Of course, collarme in their infinate wisdom gave you a block button to use. Just push it and the bad men go away like- magic!


You are quite correct.  If I see "under the protection of", "have a mentor", "have a trainer" etc...  that I
have to talk to about meeting you...FORGET IT, not worth the time to impress 2 people, and 1 of them
being the one who actually owns your mind.  Why not just declare you are his slave and stop looking?
The big problem is, that your "mentor" doesn't want to loose you, so he will never approve of another Dom.
He will then have to work hard to trick another subbie into being his un-offical slave that he can control.
Then when you meet someOne, are you going to maintain this communication channel? 

Really seems like the single girls who wear a wedding band out to clubs so guys will leave them alone.



Evlgryn -> RE: Am i soo wrong? (6/13/2007 8:09:29 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkDreams123

Greetings grlneedstolearn,

One thing I notice about your profile is that you don't really state what you ARE looking for. You don't tell me anything about yourself or the Dominant that you are looking for (or if you are really looking, for that matter).

Most of what you say is negative. Why not try a more positive approach?

Good luck,

-DarkDreams

What he said!

I am soo tired of opening up a profile and seeing a long rant against inconsiderate doms, which in itself is unpleasant and abusive. I am currently searching for a sub, with my slave's help, and have run into a few.

I have done an impromptu survey as to why these angry women are popping up on my computer screen, usually in a pushup bra or naked.  The Search program when you open up Collarme acts passively to put anyone who meets your criteria on your opening page.

The first thing I have found is that a lot of these women haven't adjusted their profile properly.

The gal saying, "this girl is now happily collared to HighLordBumfuk,
thank you, thank you...
no more calls please,
will you all leave me alone!!!"

Has not taken time  to change her profile to say she is NOT actively seeking male doms. An action which would have kept her off my opening page entirely.

Another is Poly families...if you are in a poly family and seeking another female to spice things up for you and your domdaddy , you are NOT SEEKING a poly family. That is unless you are looking to jump ship. What you are seeking is females ....again a profile that won't pop up on my screen and tempt me to rudeness.

The third thing is profiles of convenience. "NO, NO I am just looking, conversation only, not really interested". Sometimes they are under someones "protection" Then a week later THIS gal is "proudly collared to HighLordBumfuk.  While many of us were being polite, and following the wishes  expressed on the profile, HighLordBumfuk, ignored the profile and moved in to score.
Rewarding the kind of behaviour you are all condemning is not the way to stop the behaviour.

I have sold vacuum cleaners door-to-door, a hard job which I did not pursue longterm.  I can tell you 99 percent say they won't , but some buy the vaccuum. That is why the salesman doesn't listen when you say no....because he knows people who say no still buy. A hard thing to swallow in a time of sound bites, and bumpersticker politics, everything boiled down to absolutes. But there are times, when NO, doesn't mean NO, otherwise we wouldn't need safewords.



slavemaia -> RE: Am i soo wrong? (6/13/2007 8:11:55 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: grlneedstolearn

Good afternoon,
i've been getting really rude emails regarding my status. i am under protection with a Dom who is helping me along. Is this soo wrong in this lifestyle? i've had to block quite a few people due to my journal. Any advice or has anyone else experienced this much "hate mail?"
    Thank you


~sits back with her coffee imagining~ Exactly what would this world be like if people really could just let others be who they are and where they're at as long as they weren't doing things without consent. Please remember that another's opinion has to do with who THEY are, not who you are. Don't take it personally.



grlneedstolearn -> RE: Am i soo wrong? (6/13/2007 5:46:46 PM)

To answer most questions out there, i am not looking at the moment for any Dom until i feel i am ready to take that giant step forward. i will though delete my journal entry and try to put more into my profile. In a way though i'm also wanting to keep my Dom's sn private, is there anyway i can work around that? i do have girlfriends who i go out with and can talk about this lifestyle with and they will give me great suggestions, but because they don't actively do anything more than talk with me about it, they don't necessarily have good advice like i'm getting here. But also when they are not available i will turn to my Dom for help and whatnot. i hope this answers most questions that were asked on here.



TemptingNviceSub -> RE: Am i soo wrong? (6/13/2007 7:28:25 PM)

You cannot please all the people all the time...There will always be someone critical of the choices you make...grow a thicker skin..and proceed on with YOUR life...Tempting



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Am i soo wrong? (6/13/2007 8:39:58 PM)

On the other hand, it might help to clarify exactly what this relationship is that you have with this other man, specially if he's going to be a key helper in getting to know anyone else.  Dom, mentor, protector can suggest very different relationships and you've used all three in this thread.

And I'm not sure why his name would need to be kept private?  If someone wants to get to know you well, obviously they will need to make a good impression on him first so one would think you'd want to make sure they have easy and immediate access to him.



Sinergy -> RE: Am i soo wrong? (6/13/2007 8:47:05 PM)

 
I have mentioned to various submissives that I would be more than happy to act as a shit screen for them.

Mainly if they do not want to be bothered, I will bother the cretin that is bothering her.

There is a pattern of assault, a person gets in to targetting that which must be targetted, one approach to getting the person to stop assaulting the person they are assaulting is to offer them up somebody new to assault.

I can annoy the person back and not have any emotional involvement in it, and the person will forget all about the one they were annoying before.

Not sure this qualifies as a collar of protection, but it seems to work.

Sinergy

p.s.  Having just watched Hillary Clinton's vagina eat the head off the bomb disposal gynecologist who was trying to get the Snuke (Snatch Nuke) the terrorists planted there, and now watching Eric Cartman's mother get butt-fucked by the sofa delivery guy, I am starting to wonder why it is I enjoy South Park so much.



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