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Am i soo wrong? - 6/12/2007 2:46:17 PM

grlneedstolearn

Posts: 728
Joined: 1/29/2007
Status: offline

Good afternoon,
i've been getting really rude emails regarding my status. i am under protection with a Dom who is helping me along. Is this soo wrong in this lifestyle? i've had to block quite a few people due to my journal. Any advice or has anyone else experienced this much "hate mail?"
Thank you

Post #: 1

RE: Am i soo wrong? - 6/12/2007 2:48:37 PM

kirby104

Posts: 94
Joined: 6/6/2005
Status: offline

I am now listed as dominant even though I had served as a submissive. I get lots of hate mail for that. My advice is don't change because of anyone's hostility. After all, whose life are you living if not your own.

(in reply to grlneedstolearn)

Post #: 2

RE: Am i soo wrong? - 6/12/2007 2:52:57 PM

grlneedstolearn

Posts: 728
Joined: 1/29/2007
Status: offline

Thank you Kirby, at least i know now of 1 person who can agree with me

(in reply to kirby104)

Post #: 3

RE: Am i soo wrong? - 6/12/2007 3:06:26 PM

orfunboi

Posts: 1223
Joined: 10/22/2005
Status: offline

i don't get hate mail, but i do get mail from guys who don't understand the word lesbian. i also get mail from out of state Femme Doms who send one liners such as "tell me about yourself" i usually ignore them. i figure if they can't read, then why should i waste my time responding. My advice to you would be to block them and ignore them. Just be thankful you don't have to deal with them in the real world, that always works for me.

(in reply to grlneedstolearn)

Post #: 4

RE: Am i soo wrong? - 6/12/2007 3:07:18 PM

YourShyPet

Posts: 185
Joined: 6/30/2006
Status: offline

I don't have in big bold letters across the top of my profile that I am TAKEN!!!!!, because my Daddy feels it's not necessary.... I, and my Daddy get a lot of bitchy emails about it.... which we both laugh at because the whinney bitch emails are always from people labled dominant who claim to be interested in me... and you'd think that if they were really interested they would take the time to read my profile, and all my journal entries.... and if they actually read they'd already know I'm not looking... you'd think too that considering I only have friends only and submissive females checked off for who I am interested in talking too would be a hint to them as well.

My opinion is.... if you receive an email you find... rude.... bitchy.... whiney... etc.... take a moment to laugh at it... then check it off and hit delete because there is one less fool to deal with.

kittin

(in reply to grlneedstolearn)

Post #: 5

RE: Am i soo wrong? - 6/12/2007 3:09:49 PM

GirlyDevil

Posts: 104
Joined: 6/11/2006
Status: offline

It is irritating though, and luckily there is the BLOCK USER button

(in reply to YourShyPet)

Post #: 6

RE: Am i soo wrong? - 6/12/2007 3:22:09 PM

stella40

Posts: 417
Joined: 1/11/2006
From: London, UK
Status: offline

I write as someone who sometimes gets abusive messages and mails, though not necessarily on Collarme. I've recently gone through a year of receiving a lot of abusive mails, of having e-mail and IM accounts hacked, websites defaced, vandalised and destroyed, messages intercepted, etc.

However in comparison on Collarme while I have had abusive messages they have been very few and I have never yet had to block anyone (compared with another site where I had to delete my profile), and some of the unsolicited messages I get are positive, particularly from Doms (who have no interest in my person) of either gender.

The first thing I would advise is not to let it bother you. I know that's difficult advice to take, we all have feelings and we all can be hurt and offended. But if they don't know you what value is their opinion to you anyway?

Secondly, if you have a chance and the desire, talk about the abusive message with someone trusted, let your feelings out.

Thirdly you can respond, but it shouldn't be by arguing, this is what they want, or by returning the abuse. I have a few stock phrases which I have found to be effective, which are:

"And....?"
"Keep writing, you might one day actually write something intelligent."

It's quite good to do this and block the sender.

Fourthly you can just ignore and block, as you have been doing.

It's just the Internet, it's widely available, even to people able to use a computer, browse the Internet but who seem to be unable to do anything intelligent or productive with their time on the Internet.

Look at it this way. You have the protection of a Dom. Some people don't have that, all they have is a computer screen, keyboard and mouse for company. And to them it is a problem.

_____________________________

I try to take one day at a time, but several days come and attack me at once. (Jennifer Unlimited)

If you can't be a good example then you'll just have to be a horrible warning.

(in reply to grlneedstolearn)

Post #: 7

RE: Am i soo wrong? - 6/12/2007 3:31:33 PM

Phin

Posts: 1802
Joined: 2/26/2007
Status: offline

To echo pretty much what everyone has said, ignore the idiots. there is no wrong in this lifestyle. people that send you the hate mail are judging other people by their own inteligence (or lack of) and think if they insult you Master that you will run to them for comfort.

and for those who care, my track record for CollarMe: I have messaged approx 10 people, one I have met and played with and we have a scene planned for a social that we will be at in a couple of weeks, I am still communicating through Collarme with one, and the others, we just didnt click. I let her go her own way and do her own thing. we (guys that are not complete pigs and do read profiles) do exist It seems that you have found one and I wish you the best of luck.

(in reply to stella40)

Post #: 8

RE: Am i soo wrong? - 6/12/2007 4:17:25 PM

MHOO314

Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline

Mean people suck little one---pass them by and move on--good luck!

_____________________________

SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor

(in reply to grlneedstolearn)

Post #: 9

RE: Am i soo wrong? - 6/12/2007 4:37:50 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

What gave you the idea that because you decided to call someone a protector for you means that anyone would change how they act?

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to MHOO314)

Post #: 10

RE: Am i soo wrong? - 6/12/2007 5:05:22 PM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

A lot of people find the entire protector thing goofy. That may explain some of the messages you are getting. Are you so wrong? I don't know. What do you need protection from and why are you unable to provide it for yourself? Those are more important questions to ask yourself.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to grlneedstolearn)

Post #: 11

RE: Am i soo wrong? - 6/12/2007 5:13:32 PM

GirlyDevil

Posts: 104
Joined: 6/11/2006
Status: offline

First off, thank you Phin and everyone else for their input. Second, LA could you please clarify your question? And thirdly, KatyLied, i have been abused in the past by guys that i've met online and i don't want to make that same mistake which is why my Dom has helped me "filter" through the good and bad and what to look for. And also if i am unsure of someone that i am talking to i will ask for his advice. Is there a better way instead of protector? Should i change it to Mentor instead? Please, i don't want this to sound sarcastic in anyway in response to you KatyLied it is not meant for that. Hopefully this will answer and almost all questions.

(in reply to KatyLied)

Post #: 12

RE: Am i soo wrong? - 6/12/2007 5:21:20 PM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

What patterns do you have that make you choose abusive men? Do you reallly want another person choosing a partner for you? Do you realize that many dominant men would not be willing to submit to a dom in order to get to know you?

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to GirlyDevil)

Post #: 13

RE: Am i soo wrong? - 6/12/2007 5:22:47 PM

Slavetrainer2007

Posts: 231
Joined: 12/2/2006
Status: offline

Some people dont like the "under protection" some people dont like subs/slaves talking in third person, Some people dont like mispelled words or bad/no punctionation, some people dont like.......

In the end it dont matter what some people like. The only thing that matters is what you and yours likes. personally, i would tell everyone else if you dont like it pipe off.

_____________________________

Life is given, Everything else is earned.

(in reply to KatyLied)

Post #: 14

RE: Am i soo wrong? - 6/12/2007 5:38:18 PM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline

People sometimes suck. Unfortunately, it's often the ones who suck who act out. Ignore them. If you're happy being in a collar of protection, be happy.

Master Fire

_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to grlneedstolearn)

Post #: 15

RE: Am i soo wrong? - 6/12/2007 5:44:26 PM

imthatacheyouhav

Posts: 1259
Joined: 4/16/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: GirlyDevil

First off, thank you Phin and everyone else for their input. Second, LA could you please clarify your question? And thirdly, KatyLied, i have been abused in the past by guys that i've met online and i don't want to make that same mistake which is why my Dom has helped me "filter" through the good and bad and what to look for. And also if i am unsure of someone that i am talking to i will ask for his advice. Is there a better way instead of protector? Should i change it to Mentor instead? Please, i don't want this to sound sarcastic in anyway in response to you KatyLied it is not meant for that. Hopefully this will answer and almost all questions.

Then don't....i don't mean to sound curt but, you are a grow woman...everyone needs friends to talk to and bounce things off of...but to actually think yourself so incompetent or to doubt yourself so much or whatever it is that makes you think that you can't pick your own relationships?....wow...thats just astounding to me, really thats all i got.....i dont understand.

_____________________________

*if you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything*
**collared July 22 2007 by LordKen**

(in reply to GirlyDevil)

Post #: 16

RE: Am i soo wrong? - 6/12/2007 5:45:58 PM

silvermuse

Posts: 259
Joined: 6/8/2007
Status: offline

The simple answer is.. do you really want to give them that much power by worrying about how to handle it?
Block and delete.

muse

_____________________________

There is darkness and there is evil, never mistake the two.

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)

Post #: 17

RE: Am i soo wrong? - 6/12/2007 5:56:48 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

My main question is, what does having a protector have to do with anything? You get sucky emails- delete them.

I personally think the better way is to become smart in your own judgement and stop repeating your mistakes, become fully responsible for your own consent- but it's good that you can admit you aren't capable of holding those sorts of adult relationships right now.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to silvermuse)

Post #: 18

RE: Am i soo wrong? - 6/12/2007 6:43:59 PM

ExSteelAgain

Posts: 1803
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Georgia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: GirlyDevil
Is there a better way instead of protector? Should i change it to Mentor instead?

Oh, yeah, that should do it.

_____________________________

You can paint a cinder block bright pastel pink, but it's still a cinder block. (By Me.)

(in reply to GirlyDevil)

Post #: 19

RE: Am i soo wrong? - 6/12/2007 8:49:56 PM

TennesseeRain

Posts: 35
Joined: 11/9/2006
Status: offline

There is no rule book for this "lifestyle", just as there is no rule book for life. You learn from your mistakes, and if you are fortunate, you have friends to help you along the way. It doesnt matter what you call them, and it shouldnt matter what anyone else thinks. It is your life, live it the way you choose.

_____________________________

"I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul."

Pablo Neruda

(in reply to grlneedstolearn)

Post #: 20

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