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sissymaidlola -> RE: You're not a Dom!!! (6/4/2005 3:05:59 PM)
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quote:
... when LAM types in all caps and tosses in a few misspellings he is posting "tongue in cheek" as a dom wannabe might post. His all caps posts are humor.
Phew, thank God for that, chris. sissy Was beginning to think that Lam was really just a FelinePersuasion sock puppet! Or that he was now channeling Darthbetta ... As someone who is also into ass worship and rimming, sissy fully understands the logistical problems involved in posting "tongue in cheek" ... so sissy now usually waits until AFTER he has completed those kind of services. [;)] Heck, message board posts are just NOT that time critical!
The first time sissy came across Lam's "all caps" posts he did indeed take it as a parody. After the next few times sissy started to wonder if maybe he made those posts in a hurry from his cell phone or PDA while on the road ... or maybe he was simply bipolar or something. Nothing wrong with that, of course. If you read the Bible GOD comes acrosss as being pretty damn bipolar IsHO, and He is the ultimate Lord and Master! So sissy felt it was about time he now asked ... inquiring sissies wanna know sort of thing!
So with that confusion all cleared up, sissy is now off to go reread the OT* story of Abraham and Isaac again. Perhaps he has been missing the satire in God's role in these events all this time. Misinterpretation of the imperfect medium of the written word, and all that. [;)] If only they had used emoticons in the King James edition of the Bible, just think of all the religious wars throughout history that could have been avoided! But why the story of Abraham and Sarah, you may well be asking? Well, because Abraham and Sarah are two of the very few characters in the Bible for whom it is recorded that they burst out laughing. In case you haven't noticed, outside of the mocking laughter of destiny, there is almost NO laughter in the Bible. Why is this book so friggin' popular?
If Douglas Adams had been around 2000 years ago, sissy suspects that every motel room in America would today contain copies The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy instead of its inferior papyrus competition. Let's be honest, who could possibly resist the concept of a trilogy that contains five books ... surely that is much funnier than anything you'll ever find in Revelations which is by far the most humorous book in the Bible. Those flying locusts that wear little crowns on their heads and sting everybody at the end of the world are much wackier than even the flying monkeys in The Wizard of Oz, yet they don't come close to being funny when compared with the Restaurant at the End of the Universe or characters such as Ford Prefect or Zaphod Beeblebrox! Three arms, two heads, and one big ego! Ha, ha, good old Zaphod kinda reminds sissy of LadyAngelika, but with an extra arm thrown in for good measure, hee, hee. [:D] But sissy now digresses ...
You'll have to forgive sissy ... he's just a little pissed off at how mediocrity always seems to win out over quality in life. Unfortunately, sissy has never really gotten over the whole Betamax versus VHS debacle. [:(] And don't even get him started on the subject of Jerry Lewis ... Where was he? Oh, yes ... Abraham and Sarah and laughing out loud. Laughter was regarded as good in Biblical times and promised to those who lived righteous lives. Both husband and wife were amused by the promise from God that they should have a son at their senior ages in life. If sissy remembers correctly, when Abraham heard this astounding news, he was shaken by uncontrollable mirth, so that he rolled on the ground in merriment.
That would be "[sm=lol.gif]ROTFLMAO[sm=lol.gif]" in sissy's emoticon annotated edition of the Bible which is due to be published this fall. sissy Can just visualize old Abraham holding his sides, and laughing so hard that he is unable to stand up! Kind of like reading a Mercandbeth post made on one of Merc's good days! [;)] Just as a sidebar here, the King James version of the Bible is clearly a Dominant's perspective on things, so sissy has felt for some time now that a version of the Bible that reflects a good submissive's perspective has long been overdue. His use of hypertext and emoticons are just added bonuses. Bonii. Bonafides. Whatever ... you decide.
Anyway, don't take sissy's word for all this ... it's all in the Book of Genesis, verse 17:
Then Abraham fell upon his face, and laughed, and said in his heart, Shall a child be born unto him that is an hundred years old? and shall Sarah, that is ninety years old, bear?
Sarah was about ten years younger than her husband, but even she also had a pretty good giggle over the news of her imminent pregnancy, but in a more restrained manner, of course, as better becomes a lady... what sissy has indicated as "[:D]LOL[:D]" in his own upcoming emoticon edition of the Bible. And then, when her son was born, she said with fine spirit, "God hath made me to laugh, so that all that hear will laugh with me." And the child was named Isaac, which means 'laughter'.
Now what sissy finds really interesting in all of this, is that the Arabs regard Ishmael as their ancestor. It is rather remarkable that Abraham's two sons, Isaac and Ishmael, should be respectively the fathers of the Hebrews and of the Mohammedans, or in today's parlance, the Jews and the Moslems. Thus the whole of today's tensions and violence in the Middle East can be traced all the way back to a bad case of sibling rivalry in the OT*. But what was the source of that sibling rivalry? Well, the command by God to Abraham to sacrifice his beloved son Isaac might very well have something to do with it! As the victimized brother the thought had to have crossed Isaac's mind, "WTF has that jealous bastard Ishmael being telling Dad about me?" and as the repeatedly ill-favored second son, the thought, "It's about time you got your comeuppance, ya big creep!" probably also crossed Ishmael's mind once or twice.
But what is soooo sad to contemplate, as we sit here and look back on the history of mankind for the last few thousands of years, is that this situation may only have come about simply because God was really, really busy on the day that he instructed Abraham to sacrifice his son Isaac, and God simply forget to put the emoticons on his text message informing Abraham it was all just a joke! God is probably up in Heaven even as sissy is typing this thinking, "Sheesh, I probably should have used a different font ..." and sissy can well imagine God turning to his righthand man (a kind of celestial Karl Rove) and asking, "Hey, Gabriel, remind Me again, which font color am I meant to use for irony?" Or maybe it is St. Peter and not St. Gabriel God says that to ... or perhaps it's Peter Gabriel ... after all, this all takes place in Genesis! [:D]
But in that one OT* Biblical story sissy can see the source of all our modern day woes. Long, long before the scandals of Enron, Worldcom, Putnam, Tyco, K-Mart, Adelphi Cable, etc. involving reneging on trust, truth, corporate contracts and personal responsibility, we see God Almighty Himself reneging on all His prior covenants with Abraham. "In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God." And in His treatment of Abraham, either God showed that the Word was a Giant Lie (kinda like WMD, only much, much bigger!) ... or he was just kidding and messing about, and the schmuck Abraham simply didn't appreciate good irony when he saw it! [:)] But whichever it was, thanks to Abraham's altruistic sacrifice of his beloved son, even God was later forced to do something similar with his own beloved Son in order to try and dowse all the flame wars that had resulted down on planet Earth due to his major typing gaffe!
However, if God and Abraham sacrificing their own beloved sons for a much bigger cause wasn't enough, this has now become the primary model within all the major religions - Christian, Judaic and Moslem - that permits the repeated continuous cycle of war on this planet. Today there are very many conscientious objectors who claim that Abraham's obedience to God was fine, but when he was asked to sacrifice the life of his own son, he would have shown much more nobility and righteousness if he had he flatly refused instead. That is called "standing up for what you believe in" and it requires much more responsibility, courage and integrity to do than blindly obeying the word of your Lord and Master when you know full well that it is plain wrong. Or even worse, just a typo!
Throughout history, there have been many Christian theologians that have found it very hard to swallow (sissy also has this problem, but that it a whole different topic!) the story of Abraham and Isaac, and it is fairly clear that most of them wish that story had never been written, or at least never included in the Bible, or even, having been included, went the way of some of the other Apocrypha. Because of that single story, not only do most modern Christians consider it right to give up the lives of their sons for what they regard as a higher calling, but they are universally exalted and honored for doing so. That same mindset also leads to the modern day existence of Islamic suicide bombers. Exactly how many wars throughout human history would have got off the ground if every parent involved in the dispute had said, "No, I love my son too much to sacrifice his life at his nation's command; surely it cannot be right for a father to give up his own son"? If you want to know why we have so much war and resultant suffering in the world it is primarily because of the inverted thinking embodied in the story of Abraham and Isaac that is taught to every Jewish, Christian and Islamic child brought into this world. [:(]
Arrhh, some of you are probably thinking, but sissy forgets that the story of Abraham and Isaac is also the first ever recorded sadomasochistic act ... without that ultimate of all "knife play" scenes to inspire us, there would be no BDSM as we know it today. Abraham is the consummate Dominant and Isaac the model submissive that surrenders up his life for the sake of obedience to his Dominant Master (a.k.a. father). To you folks, all sissy has to say is that someone should have told Isaac about the appropriate use of safe words! [:)]
* that's Old Testament NOT off-topic, you doofus!
sissy maid lola
[image]local://upfiles/21203/7550AAD373274EA8911F0BC3852D002C.jpg[/image]
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