Authority Transfer

Authority Transfer (Full Version)

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kyraofMists -> Authority Transfer (6/13/2007 4:03:48 AM)
Those who read posts from our family know that we view our relationship as an authority transfer dynamic where Alandra and I transfer all our authority to him. He will exercise his authority in whatever aspects of our life that he wants and delegates back to us those aspects that he is not want to at that time. In reading the responses others made to the Asking Permissions thread I had a few other questions. It doesn't matter to me whether you identify as a submissive, slave, bottom, top, dominant, master, switch, boy, girl, daddy, etc. I do not want to start another debate on those terms. What I am interested in is what authority is transferred in your relationship from one person to the other and how did you make the decision on what was transferred. I don't see these as right or wrong answers or as one better than the other; I see these as answers that will show what fulfills you in your intimate relationships. What aspects of your life do you or are you willing to transfer authority to your partner? What aspects of your partners life do you want to have the authority transferred to you? If you do both, I would love to hear your answers as well. How did you arrive at the decision on what authority is transferred? Knight's Kyra *edited to fix early morning typos

Areflectionofyou -> RE: Authority Transfer (6/13/2007 4:21:11 AM)
I transfered all authority to my Owner once i moved in with him. He is on my checking account and makes all financial, and other decisions regarding me. This was ultimately decided when i chose to become his slave.

slaveish -> RE: Authority Transfer (6/13/2007 4:34:25 AM)
I do not live in The House at this time. When I am there visiting I am expected to help with running the household (cooking, cleaning, UM care, pet care, yard work, etc.) and to serve Master in any way he wishes. I am to ask permission before I leave The House. I am at Master's whim. He does not demand me to turn over my finances but will when I live in. While away from The House I have a few protocols to follow but nothing major since we are a couple hours apart, and I have a consuming career, two UM's, and a house full of pets. He is a good man and a smart Master who makes logical / reasonable demands - it is a good match. As for what authority I wish he would transfer to me ... hmmmm. I was going to say I wish he'd order me to go on vacation ... but he does this is some of his smaller orders, like , for example, when he tells me to go get a pedicure. He knows that a girl (at least this one) who feels good about her tasks and about herself is a much better slave for him.

Elorin -> RE: Authority Transfer (6/13/2007 4:35:02 AM)
Currently M and I have our D/s in suspension and he therefore has no authority. When I was living with a roommate and M and I were full time D/s, I was willing to give him authority over everything but how to raise my child and my interactions with submissives. Now, if I were to re-enter D/s with M, the limits would be the same. The caveat is that if he wants to control my finances he has to control all of them, paying the bills as well as spending. I decided thsoe limits because those two issues are ones which I feel he is not qualified (in the case of my child) or appropriate to have authority. ~E

salilus -> RE: Authority Transfer (6/13/2007 5:00:34 AM)
Daddy has authority over everything - from where the money I make goes to how I spend my time. This 'transfer' actually took a couple of years to happen as neither of us really knew we'd be this happy with it in the end.

heartfeltsub -> RE: Authority Transfer (6/13/2007 5:03:01 AM)
This is actually an area where i have been going through a great deal of introspection on, as there is a part of me that desires to give total control and another part of me which is fearful of giving up control in some areas, like finances. Because of ending up with nothing after a 23 year marriage but debts, this is something that i have deep concerns about. With the two Doms who i currently serve One wants to be asked about things like bathroom usage, while the Other does not, so it varies depending on which One i am with. Because i am not currently owned by Either, there are areas where Neither has any say. If the dynamic changes, i would imagine that those areas would also change. heartfelt

Rover -> RE: Authority Transfer (6/13/2007 5:52:21 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: kyraofMists What aspects of your partners life do you want to have the authority transferred to you? In my relationships I expect authority in all aspects of my partner's life. But that doesn't mean that I will or need to exercise that authority in all those areas, just so long as it exists should I decide it necessary or desirable to do so. quote: How did you arrive at the decision on what authority is transferred? There's really no decision to be made... it's a necessary and non-negotiable component of my relationship dynamic. Though I recognize that the gravity of that decision necessitates considerable time, discussion and mutual familiarity. That's why, in my relationships, it takes the same period of time before a collar (symbol of ownership) is offered and (presumably) accepted. There's no point in offering it, and surely no reason to accept it, if complete authority is not or cannot be freely "transferred". John

marieToo -> RE: Authority Transfer (6/13/2007 6:16:26 AM)
I am not in a relationship currently. In the past I have been in a position to consider this topic very carefully when I was involved with someone who wanted total control over every aspect of my life (he didnt get it). Given the fact that I am raising a child, I have decided that no dominant will be given authority over how I handle my finances or my monetary assets. Everything I do in that regard is done with my daughter's best interest in mind (both current and future). This would also extend to how I raise my child and my parenting style. I do not believe that there is another human being alive who is in a better position to determine what is best for my child, than myself. Therefore that is one aspect that is off limits. I might listen and take advice etc, but the ulitimate authority with regards to issues pertaining to my child, is mine. All the rest-- and I do mean all the rest, is up for grabs for the right person. I would add that I am the type of person who wishes to exchange power because it's my desire to do so, not because I'm incapable of steering my own ship. Edited to add that this was a Fast Reply

KatyLied -> RE: Authority Transfer (6/13/2007 6:21:24 AM)
I'm pretty much with Marie on this one. My kids are almost to the point of being completely independent, but they still depend on me and I want to be able to secure their futures as best I can. Finances would be completely off-limits. I can't envision ever being in a place where I would transfer any sort of authority regarding my finances. There is too much at stake and I can't afford to start over again if someone screwed that up.

Rover -> RE: Authority Transfer (6/13/2007 6:21:41 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: marieToo I would add that I am the type of person who wishes to exchange power because it's my desire to do so, not because I'm incapable of steering my own ship. "Incapable" is not a term often applied to marie. :) John

thetammyjo -> RE: Authority Transfer (6/13/2007 6:36:33 AM)
Fox and I discussed what would be under my authority and what would not during his extended training period as we were approaching my owning him. Clearly there are things I think it would be foolish of me to think I could exercise any authority over -- weather, his physical conditions (illnesses, eyesight, things like that which I can't influence by food or exercise), exactly what he thinks and feels. There were things I needed authority over in order for us to believe we had an authority dynamic. Sex, food we eat as a family, where he lives, time he spends with friends, activities beyond his job, chores around the house, any BDSM activities or meetings, and issues about his body such as hair length, piercings, clothes, etc. Then I have great influence over other things: time with his family of origin, work schedule and looking for work, plus entertainment. That's how it started and it has remained much the same though I probably have more influence in the areas above and I do get into things like his health now than I did before. Initially all of this was in our contracts but as we've moved away from long detailed contracts to simple statements of ownership the question could be: Where does my authority end now? (this is something I pointed out to Fox but he prefers the simple statements of ownership and realizes he has to deal with the consequences of it's simplity) The fact is that I'm a busy woman. I want someone I can train and who will follow through at that point. I want my freedom to express my authority when and how I want. I try to be realistic about what I can and can't do. I find that makes our dynamic flow very "naturally" (note the quotation marks) and just feels powerful, normal, and substainable.

dawntreader -> RE: Authority Transfer (6/13/2007 7:10:13 AM)
Wonderfully thought provoking question kyra and one i think of often... i am with marietoo on her thoughts in regards to these last 2 years i have with my offspring. There can only be so much authority transfer until i am on my own. i desire a complete AT relationship but one area of my life may be difficult to work around and that is my spiritual journey and my calling as healer. These are areas that are exclusive to the Universe and i know it will be difficult finding a Master that would allow this unknown in an AT dynamic. But in a journey of self-discovery, the challenge comes from finding the balance and i do trust the Universe to provide~

mbes -> RE: Authority Transfer (6/13/2007 7:33:44 AM)
I'm willing to transfer whatever authority he wants. I do like the statement from the person above that having the authority doesn't always mean that the authority will be exercised, that sounds about like ours. I get the impression that we aren't among the norm around here, because we are coming at this from within a long-term relationship, rather than building from scratch. For example, I have UMs, but they are also his UMs, so putting them offlimits, or putting finances offlimits in their interest simply isn't something that I need to consider. A lot of the details involved in getting to know each other, and what each partner likes (lemon, sugar or both in your tea, dear?) have already been discovered. That leaves, for the most part, fine-tuning what areas he wants to exercise authority over. Sometimes that is a great deal, sometimes less, but I like knowing that that determination is up to him also.

CreativeDominant -> RE: Authority Transfer (6/13/2007 7:34:09 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: kyraofMists Those who read posts from our family know that we view our relationship as an authority transfer dynamic where Alandra and I transfer all our authority to him. He will exercise his authority in whatever aspects of our life that he wants and delegates back to us those aspects that he is not want to at that time. In reading the responses others made to the Asking Permissions thread I had a few other questions. It doesn't matter to me whether you identify as a submissive, slave, bottom, top, dominant, master, switch, boy, girl, daddy, etc. I do not want to start another debate on those terms. What I am interested in is what authority is transferred in your relationship from one person to the other and how did you make the decision on what was transferred. I don't see these as right or wrong answers or as one better than the other; I see these as answers that will show what fulfills you in your intimate relationships. What aspects of your life do you or are you willing to transfer authority to your partner? What aspects of your partners life do you want to have the authority transferred to you? quote: Interesting thread. I have thought about this often, especially in the year I have taken off from D/s involvement except for casual play. In my long-term relationships, I have had differing levels of control. I never was into micro-management and so never wanted authority over every aspect of my submissive's life. I do not care when she has to go to the bathroom nor do I need to be informed that she is going. In the case of a submissive with children, I prefer to leave the handling of her finances to her unless they are in such a mess that they need to be straightened out. At that point, I would suggest that I either take over or that she be directed to someone who is a professional. Those are just a couple of examples of what I have done or would do. For me, it comes down to a matter of discussion. I want authority in those areas that I am comfortable in...don't we all...but I also want authority in some areas I am not comfortable in (yet) so as to push myself as well as her. But it takes time and trust. I have found that in three relationships, the willingness to give over authority in areas previously untouched, grew along with the relationship and the trust built. With the submissive that was married, the authority transfer was over areas that did not involve her relationship with her spouse such as finances, where she lived, where she worked, etc.. I felt those were between her and her husband and while I might advise, I did not command. With my first submissive, I began to take on authority over most areas of her life, including her finances as she sucked at managing her money. She would tell you so. However, I had no choice or authority over her career nor her children though again, I did advise. quote: If you do both, I would love to hear your answers as well. How did you arrive at the decision on what authority is transferred? I start out with what I will accept, what I will not expect right now but will expect in the future, and those areas open to acceptance. I listen to what she is willing to give and take note of how much or how little it is...both in terms of what she sees as herself giving up now and what she sees herself giving up in the future. If it is too little, then for me...submissive she may be but not the one for me. I know all that can be said about having to build trust and I understand it. However, at this point in my life, I am not willing to begin a relationship with someone who trusts me enough only to give up bedroom aspects of authority or who only wants to give up those areas that, it is clear, it is easy and even thrilling to give up control over because they are not of importance.

viperess -> RE: Authority Transfer (6/13/2007 7:47:26 AM)
Greetings, What a wonderful and thought provoking thread. Thank you for posting it. As for what authority i would want transferred to me..none as Master is to strong a person for me to wish any authority over Him. As for myself i transfered all athority to Him when i made the decision to beg Him collar. When working and while now on workmans comp any money i receive goes directly to Him. This is one area i have seen a lot of people struggle over. To me it means a freedom as i do not have to worry about what bills need to be paid, what money needs to be set back for different things, or even how much can be spent at the grocery store. As for my UM's He has athority in my relation with them. Right now they do not live near but He makes sure they always know they are more than welcome here, if they are in need of something He provides for them, but at the same time He lets them know they will be respectful and that He expects the best from them. To me there could be no better role model for them than He is. For me Master has total control over me and my life.He has my total trust as i know He values His property and will do all in His power to not let harm come to any He owns. For me a M/s relation is an all or nothing 24/7 relation and not a when the mood strikes or when i feel like letting someone have authority over me. He has complete control and because of that i feel considerable freedom, release, safty, strength, and love. Respectfully,

ExSteelAgain -> RE: Authority Transfer (6/13/2007 7:49:12 AM)
A good question and one I think about at times because I give her very few instructions. I met her online a few years ago and since she lives near me, I could demand lots. But, she has two young teens, a great career that I know little about and completed another advanced degree a few weeks ago. In other words, she has it together and it would be like me trying to manage the orbit of a planet. It is all something I can observe the beauty of, but I can’t touch it unless I want to attempt bouncing off a giant trampoline and break my neck trying. I make her drink with her left hand always and it is a sign of my control, plus it calms, reassures and strengthens her in everyday life. Beyond that I instruct about managing finances because I am good at it, read not cheap, but good at investing. Again, I don’t take responsibility for her financial moves though because that would mean I am in reality making the decisions. I am offering advice. Together, in private, the orbit angle is narrowed like a planet slingshotting around the sun. Even more, in the context of a scene, it is me and my slut asking for my permission to move an inch.

meticulousgirl -> RE: Authority Transfer (6/13/2007 7:49:29 AM)
Wow great thread, the questions dont really apply but I think this would make a great research and development thread for many on the site.

truesub4u -> RE: Authority Transfer (6/13/2007 8:43:22 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: marieToo I am not in a relationship currently. In the past I have been in a position to consider this topic very carefully when I was involved with someone who wanted total control over every aspect of my life (he didnt get it). Given the fact that I am raising a child, I have decided that no dominant will be given authority over how I handle my finances or my monetary assets. Everything I do in that regard is done with my daughter's best interest in mind (both current and future). This would also extend to how I raise my child and my parenting style. I do not believe that there is another human being alive who is in a better position to determine what is best for my child, than myself. Therefore that is one aspect that is off limits. I might listen and take advice etc, but the ulitimate authority with regards to issues pertaining to my child, is mine. All the rest-- and I do mean all the rest, is up for grabs for the right person. I would add that I am the type of person who wishes to exchange power because it's my desire to do so, not because I'm incapable of steering my own ship. Couldn't of said this any better.

Mercnbeth -> RE: Authority Transfer (6/13/2007 9:49:05 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: kyraofMists What aspects of your life do you or are you willing to transfer authority to your partner? all the aspects He desires. quote: What aspects of your partners life do you want to have the authority transferred to you? only that which pleases Him to delegate to His slave, and even that is subject to His own personal preferences and tastes. quote: How did you arrive at the decision on what authority is transferred? becoming His slave required surrendering ALL to His authority---if not, this slave wouldn't have become His. He was not open to and this slave had no desire to negotiate who would get what authority transferred to them and when...it was, and is an "all in" sort of thing.

BeingChewsie -> RE: Authority Transfer (6/13/2007 10:15:58 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: kyraofMists What aspects of your life do you or are you willing to transfer authority to your partner? As much as he wants to take on. He is a very special man and I have no worries about his actions towards me or my offspring. If it were anybody else things might be different but this is a stuation in which I can let go. I consider myself very lucky. quote: How did you arrive at the decision on what authority is transferred? It has evolved over the years and continues to evolve.

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