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ORIGINAL: kyraofMists

What aspects of your partners life do you want to have the authority transferred to you?

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How did you arrive at the decision on what authority is transferred?

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ORIGINAL: marieToo

I would add that I am the type of person who wishes to exchange power because it's my desire to do so, not because I'm incapable of steering my own ship.

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ORIGINAL: kyraofMists

Those who read posts from our family know that we view our relationship as an authority transfer dynamic where Alandra and I transfer all our authority to him.  He will exercise his authority in whatever aspects of our life that he wants and delegates back to us those aspects that he is not want to at that time.  In reading the responses others made to the Asking Permissions thread I had a few other questions.

It doesn't matter to me whether you identify as a submissive, slave, bottom, top, dominant, master, switch, boy, girl, daddy, etc.  I do not want to start another debate on those terms.  What I am interested in is what authority is transferred in your relationship from one person to the other and how did you make the decision on what was transferred.  I don't see these as right or wrong answers or as one better than the other; I see these as answers that will show what fulfills you in your intimate relationships.

What aspects of your life do you or are you willing to transfer authority to your partner?

What aspects of your partners life do you want to have the authority transferred to you?

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Interesting thread.  I have thought about this often, especially in the year I have taken off from D/s involvement except for casual play.  In my long-term relationships, I have had differing levels of control.  I never was into micro-management and so never wanted authority over every aspect of my submissive's life.  I do not care when she has to go to the bathroom nor do I need to be informed that she is going.  In the case of a submissive with children, I prefer to leave the handling of her finances to her unless they are in such a mess that they need to be straightened out.  At that point, I would suggest that I either take over or that she be directed to someone who is a professional.  Those are just a couple of examples of what I have done or would do. 

For me, it comes down to a matter of discussion.  I want authority in those areas that I am comfortable in...don't we all...but I also want authority in some areas I am not comfortable in (yet) so as to push myself as well as her.  But it takes time and trust.  I have found that in three relationships, the willingness to give over authority in areas previously untouched, grew along with the relationship and the trust built.  With the submissive that was married, the authority transfer was over areas that did not involve her relationship with her spouse such as finances, where she lived, where she worked, etc..  I felt those were between her and her husband and while I might advise, I did not command.  With my first submissive, I began to take on authority over most areas of her life, including her finances as she sucked at managing her money.  She would tell you so.  However, I had no choice or authority over her career nor her children though again, I did advise.

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If you do both, I would love to hear your answers as well.

How did you arrive at the decision on what authority is transferred?

I start out with what I will accept, what I will not expect right now but will expect in the future, and those areas open to acceptance.  I listen to what she is willing to give and take note of how much or how little it is...both in terms of what she sees as herself giving up now and what she sees herself giving up in the future.  If it is too little, then for me...submissive she may be but not the one for me.
I know all that can be said about having to build trust and I understand it.  However, at this point in my life, I am not willing to begin a relationship with someone who trusts me enough only to give up bedroom aspects of authority or who only wants to give up those areas that, it is clear, it is easy and even thrilling to give up control over because they are not of importance.

(in reply to kyraofMists)

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ORIGINAL: marieToo

I am not in a relationship currently.  In the past I have been in a position to consider this topic very carefully when I was involved with someone who wanted total control over every aspect of my life (he didnt get it).

Given the fact that I am raising a child, I have decided that no dominant will be given authority over how I handle my finances or my monetary assets.  Everything I do in that regard is done with my daughter's best interest in mind (both current and future).  This would also extend to how I raise my child and my parenting style.  I do not believe that there is another human being alive who is in a better position to determine what is best for my child, than myself.  Therefore that is one aspect that is off limits.  I might listen and take advice etc, but the ulitimate authority with regards to issues pertaining to my child, is mine. All the rest-- and I do mean all the rest,  is up for grabs for the right person.  I would add that I am the type of person who wishes to exchange power because it's my desire to do so, not because I'm incapable of steering my own ship.

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ORIGINAL: kyraofMists

What aspects of your life do you or are you willing to transfer authority to your partner?

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What aspects of your partners life do you want to have the authority transferred to you?

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How did you arrive at the decision on what authority is transferred?

quote:

ORIGINAL: kyraofMists

What aspects of your life do you or are you willing to transfer authority to your partner?

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How did you arrive at the decision on what authority is transferred?