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slvcari -> need advice (6/13/2007 8:48:24 AM)
Greetings to all who read this post- this one is currently talking with a local domme who has had her put "under consideration: in her profile. while that is not a problem ,. i do however have a problem with an order i was given and therefor seek advice. i am currently enrolled in college via online and currently have classes ongoing .. i've informed her of this as well as the fact i have homework for said classes. Her order was that i can not attend or do homework while she is online and we are talking on instant messenger. This Mistress and I have not met in person...does she have the right to tell me that i cannot attend classes or do my homework ? She has also asked for my password to this site so she can read/ delete and change my profile and is upset that i won't give her the password . any advice would be greatly appreciated slvcari

MsKatHouston -> RE: need advice (6/13/2007 9:01:24 AM)
LOL Do you really need anyone else to tell you what you already know? You haven't met yet. She is wanting you to jeopardize your education and invade your privacy and security. Hmmm...really? What do you think?

Emperor1956 -> RE: need advice (6/13/2007 9:07:12 AM)
Does she have the right to ask that you behave a certain way? Of course she has that right. Do you have the right to disagree? Of course you do. What I think you really need to identify is if your rejection of her demands is because: 1. She has not committed to you in any way, placing you "under consideration" (and what the heck does that mean?), but not agreeing to meet or further the relationship, OR 2. She pushed you too early to give up certain "rights" you claim, such as the right to maintain your online profile privately, OR 3. Her unworldly demands conflict greatly with your real world obligations, and you did not sign on for that conflict? Or any of the above. There are in fact no rules, no Canon, no golden mean of D/s behavior. Each couple or group works out rules that work for them. You clearly are not happy with this person's demands -- I would think the next step if there is any real desire on either side to create a relationship would be a discussion of the problem and (ideally) a mutually acceptable solution. E.

MissMorrigan -> RE: need advice (6/13/2007 9:09:49 AM)
Cari, I can understand your desire to serve a domme, but common sense must surely prevail regardless of the dynamics of the relationship. If a person wants to have a detrimental effect on your life, and by attempting to prevent you from bettering yourself educationally I would classify that as to your detriment, why are you even questioning this? What you have mentioned is an unhealthy form of control. Just as you are under consideration, so is this dominant and if you want to continue self-growth, working to secure a good future for yourself, I suggest you concentrate on your studies and start making healthy choices by removing the person in question from your consideration. As you are studying online, use your browser to glean as much information as you can on D/s. If you would like me to recommend a site to you, send me a memo. The behaviour you have mentioned is not exclusive to BDSM relationships and it's your decision as to whether you allow it to affect you or not.

imthatacheyouhav -> RE: need advice (6/13/2007 9:11:02 AM)
"WARNING!! danger Will Robinson!!" ( doing my best impression of robot from Lost in Space)

MistressNoName -> RE: need advice (6/13/2007 9:12:26 AM)
You're joking, right?? Do you really need for a bunch of us to get on here and tell you what you already know? What right has anyone got to tell you that you cannot complete the requirements of your degree? How silly is that? If you want to carry on with this individual, do so at your own risk. I suggest that you carefully schedule online times with her that do not interfere with the times you have to be online in class or doing assignments. If you can't do this b/c she is always online during your class times (the schedule of which is not in your hands, but that of the school) and she doesn't want to be adult about it and work out a feasible chat schedule with you...then I don't know what to tell you...except I personally would not put up with that. As for giving her access to your school site account...don't do it. That I can't stress enough. What does she want it for? This makes me very uncomfortable and suspicious that she might be trying to access your financial information...if it can be access via this route...(but then again, I can be being overly paranoid on this one. But that's what happens when you've fallen victim to identity theft.) My bottom line is, if it doesn't smell right, best not to eat it. Be safe not sorry. MNN

LadyPact -> RE: need advice (6/13/2007 9:15:35 AM)
I would be leary of a situation where any Domme would want to restrict opportunities for learning and growth. Enough said.

LaTigresse -> RE: need advice (6/13/2007 9:17:29 AM)
What they said.........ditch the domme. along with a few other d words just cuz....... deny dethrone debunk depreciate duhhhhhh... (it wouldn't let me add the smiley face)

thetammyjo -> RE: need advice (6/13/2007 9:19:20 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: slvcari Greetings to all who read this post- this one is currently talking with a local domme who has had her put "under consideration: in her profile. while that is not a problem ,. i do however have a problem with an order i was given and therefor seek advice. i am currently enrolled in college via online and currently have classes ongoing .. i've informed her of this as well as the fact i have homework for said classes. Her order was that i can not attend or do homework while she is online and we are talking on instant messenger. This Mistress and I have not met in person...does she have the right to tell me that i cannot attend classes or do my homework ? She has also asked for my password to this site so she can read/ delete and change my profile and is upset that i won't give her the password . any advice would be greatly appreciated slvcari Wow this is either someone who isn't what she appears to be or someone who is really very insecure to want your emails and passwords. I think it's a scam artist trying to steal information about you. I think you should "delete" all contact with her.

Emperor1956 -> RE: need advice (6/13/2007 9:22:15 AM)
defile? defenestrate? (one of my favorite words)!? delouse? (yeccch!) E delightedly discussing domination dilemmas with Dominas...

MistressNoName -> RE: need advice (6/13/2007 9:24:01 AM)
Oh and by the way...not that I don't think it can or does happen...but a straight female slave under consideration by a straight female "dominate"? Interesting and that's all I'll say about that. MNN

MrsDiablo -> RE: need advice (6/13/2007 9:26:45 AM)
Exactly..lol.

LaTigresse -> RE: need advice (6/13/2007 9:28:43 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MistressNoName Oh and by the way...not that I don't think it can or does happen...but a straight female slave under consideration by a straight female "dominate"? Interesting and that's all I'll say about that. MNN Yes, I caught that one also. Veddddy interesting.

GoddessDustyGold -> RE: need advice (6/13/2007 9:30:14 AM)
disengage DUD (her, not you!)

imthatacheyouhav -> RE: need advice (6/13/2007 9:33:31 AM)
Hmmm...i must have missed something...i dont see how we know the Dome is a straight female

LaTigresse -> RE: need advice (6/13/2007 9:34:28 AM)
Her profile says so.

Emperor1956 -> RE: need advice (6/13/2007 9:39:39 AM)
At first I put it down to a hormonally influenced combination of really advanced Gaydar and "womens' intuition". But in fact, that is how the domme at issue describes itself. quote: Imthatache: Hmmm...i must have missed something...i dont see how we know the Dome is a straight female LaTigresse: Her profile says so.

MistressNoName -> RE: need advice (6/13/2007 9:42:46 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Emperor1956 At first I put it down to a hormonally influenced combination of really advanced Gaydar and "womens' intuition". But in fact, that is how the domme at issue describes itself. quote: Imthatache: Hmmm...i must have missed something...i dont see how we know the Dome is a straight female LaTigresse: Her profile says so. Ha!!!! Funny!! Yeah, well my "gay-dar" is pretty good...but not that good! LOL [:D] MNN

imthatacheyouhav -> RE: need advice (6/13/2007 10:24:19 AM)
Well ok...but i still think i'm must be missing something...goes off muttering something about running out f popcorn

slaveboyforyou -> RE: need advice (6/13/2007 10:51:55 AM)
I keep my IM invisible if I am doing work that needs my full attention. I just don't like the distraction of having to tell people I am busy when I am concentrating on other things. You have to make up your own mind about giving your passwords out. I wouldn't do it, but that's just me.

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