RE: cheating?

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: cheating?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> RE: cheating?

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: cheating? - 6/14/2007 10:00:30 PM

charmdpetKeira

Posts: 916
Joined: 6/2/2007
Status: offline

Just something to consider; in the relationships I have been in, where I was being accused of cheating, which I wasn’t; I later found out he was the one cheating all along.

Sincerely,

k

_____________________________

Life is tough, that does not mean it isn't fair.

There is no wrong choice, only consequence.

(in reply to sugarkiss)

Post #: 21

RE: cheating? - 6/14/2007 10:20:08 PM

Lordandmaster

Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline

Aye, there is that. Next we'll learn that Othello was banging his chambermaid. Billy just cut the scene because he was already WAY over the time limit.

quote:

ORIGINAL: charmdpetKeira

Just something to consider; in the relationships I have been in, where I was being accused of cheating, which I wasn’t; I later found out he was the one cheating all along.

(in reply to charmdpetKeira)

Post #: 22

RE: cheating? - 6/14/2007 11:30:10 PM

charmdpetKeira

Posts: 916
Joined: 6/2/2007
Status: offline

quote:

Next we'll learn that Othello was banging his chambermaid. Billy just cut the scene because he was already WAY over the time limit.

Well, in my case, it was co-workers and one babysitter.

k

_____________________________

Life is tough, that does not mean it isn't fair.

There is no wrong choice, only consequence.

(in reply to Lordandmaster)

Post #: 23

RE: cheating? - 6/14/2007 11:39:36 PM

Lordandmaster

Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline

Look on the bright side. Othello slew her.

(in reply to charmdpetKeira)

Post #: 24

RE: cheating? - 6/14/2007 11:50:04 PM

charmdpetKeira

Posts: 916
Joined: 6/2/2007
Status: offline

quote:

Look on the bright side. Othello slew her.

lol, neither would have stood a chance. ;) *smiles*

Actually, I am rather greatful. The seventeen yr old babysitter took the "boobie" prize; and an eighteen yr old co-worker, won the "K-mart, bluelight special".

No really, I picked him up at K-mart!

Yes, I know K-mart is not the best place to go shopping for good quality men, I was only there to buy a toddler bed; kinda a two for one deal. :)

k

_____________________________

Life is tough, that does not mean it isn't fair.

There is no wrong choice, only consequence.

(in reply to Lordandmaster)

Post #: 25

RE: cheating? - 6/14/2007 11:51:22 PM

Lordandmaster

Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline

Well, every once in a while they have a clearance sale.

quote:

ORIGINAL: charmdpetKeira

Yes, I know K-mart is not the best place to go shopping for good quality men

(in reply to charmdpetKeira)

Post #: 26

RE: cheating? - 6/14/2007 11:56:27 PM

charmdpetKeira

Posts: 916
Joined: 6/2/2007
Status: offline

quote:

Well, every once in a while they have a clearance sale.

lol, yea, wasn't much of a bargain though.

Oh well, live and learn;.... and then try luvs??

edited cuz, i suck at spelling

k

< Message edited by charmdpetKeira -- 6/14/2007 11:57:46 PM >

_____________________________

Life is tough, that does not mean it isn't fair.

There is no wrong choice, only consequence.

(in reply to Lordandmaster)

Post #: 27

RE: cheating? - 6/15/2007 4:38:32 AM

Areflectionofyou

Posts: 258
Joined: 4/4/2006
Status: offline

Master has no trouble with my Ex Dom...in fact if he ever visits florida he is welcome over any time

quote:

ORIGINAL: SirMGD

tough one, and sorry.
not really anything much you can do till you figure out why he doesn't trust you. Ex's are always a problem because any new master or lover will likely feel they are more of a weakness for you, and theyre usually right. That's why once you end it with someone, remaining friends with them is dubious if not dangerous. It is however, often emotionally tempting. as something or someone to fall back on. The thing to remember when trust issues like this surface;
Trust must always be earned, never demanded.

(in reply to SirMGD)

Post #: 28

RE: cheating? - 6/15/2007 5:19:55 AM

Celeste43

Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline

Tell him you're glad he's already decided not to further engage in a d/s relationship because his false accusations and flying off the handle have made you withdraw your trust in him.

Quite honestly, the person who messed up here isn't you, it's him. Could you really feel safe allowing someone who jumped to such conclusions to have you in a vulnerable physical position? Sure he wouldn't decide that you needed to be 'punished' for this by breaking your hard limits?

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 29

RE: cheating? - 6/15/2007 7:34:32 AM

domiguy

Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline

I don't understand how anyone is capable of giving advice to someone that you know absolutely nothing about....How do you know her ex wasn't abusive? How do you know that maybe she told her Dom some things about her ex that would make him question her motivations in "helping" him out?.....Maybe her new Dom is really insecure....Maybe she has cheated before? Maybe she is not "over" her ex. Maybe she will fuck anything that moves?

The point is, that based upon the little information that has been garnished from the op makes it impossible to give any type of advice that would have merit.

_____________________________

(in reply to Celeste43)

Post #: 30

RE: cheating? - 6/15/2007 8:28:45 AM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

I don't understand how anyone is capable of giving advice to someone that you know absolutely nothing about....How do you know her ex wasn't abusive? How do you know that maybe she told her Dom some things about her ex that would make him question her motivations in "helping" him out?.....Maybe her new Dom is really insecure....Maybe she has cheated before? Maybe she is not "over" her ex. Maybe she will fuck anything that moves?

The point is, that based upon the little information that has been garnished from the op makes it impossible to give any type of advice that would have merit.

We take this person at their word that they are not a cheater. If they are lying about that and coming here for advice under a false premise, well that would kinda defeat the entire purpose of the OP.

On face value of what she wrote, I offered my opinion based upon my own life and value system. I do not care about the mitigating circumstances if this were me , because I would not tolerate being accused of these things and dumped for it if I were innocent of any wrong doing. Life is too short for someone that is paranoid and has the inability to trust me dominating me... but that is just me, and other people can push that aside and keep going on in relationships filled with accusations and mistrust...

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to domiguy)

Post #: 31

RE: cheating? - 6/16/2007 2:57:17 AM

FrankAr

Posts: 817
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sugarkiss

The reason I was with my ex, is his car had been in the shop and I took him to get it after it was fixed. My Master said he drove by where I said we were (which IS where I was) and he didn't see my car. I told my Master I would be with him (me and my ex have a child together).
He has never acted like this before.
Now what?

Greetings kiss,

I would like to step in and ask a few things and give my thoughts, if that is ok. I know this was sent to reply to Mia, but would like to have a few thoughts on the matter.

You have a NEW Master, a new life. So in my mind it should have started once you accepted the new collar. I might be old fashioned, but just hear me out. The only part of the previous life where I would have you involved is with the young one, that is the bottom line. The young one is the love of the life, full stop. NOTHING else is there to warrant anything. If it does, then you have to look hard and deep at where your love and heart lies.

He had the car in for service, then let Him catch a taxi there. You have to think in the back of your mind, you and He have finished, finalised it, so let His life stop there and have you walk forward from there. If you continue seeing Him because of the young un, then I think you are actually looking at the relationship in more ways than one. You and He have finished so then finalise it.

You and He have a young un, well then pick the young un up with your NEW owner all the time, re-inforcing the thought that the relationship between you and the previous Master has now finished. If you do not, then it does send wrong messages. It is like if you keep an old collar. I would have no concern, about what the old Master has informed you. I would have you send it back and finalise the relationship. Keeping the collar would only re-inforce the mental dominance over you by the previous Master.

I might sound cold and heartless, but I do the same thing in my life with my young un. I move forward, adapt and go with my life. I love my young un, but NEVER have her see MY private life until I know it is the right time. You have to be strong and do what your NEW Master advises, because remember YOU accepted the collar and His ownership, so YOU must have known about this type of thinking before you accepted the collar. Or did you jump into it as a rebound?

Be well.

Frank Ar.

< Message edited by FrankAr -- 6/16/2007 3:00:24 AM >

_____________________________

I am just me, simple ol me.

Even the softest whisper can be heard in the loudest group....Frank H.

(in reply to sugarkiss)

Post #: 32

RE: cheating? - 6/16/2007 3:15:10 AM

charmdpetKeira

Posts: 916
Joined: 6/2/2007
Status: offline

I can think of only one reason a person would unjustly proclaim a person a cheater, claim to release them because they are unworth, but in reality keep then hanging on a hook; and if that is the case, she is better off to rip the hook from her mouth, if that’s what it takes, and swim away.

Sincerely,

k

_____________________________

Life is tough, that does not mean it isn't fair.

There is no wrong choice, only consequence.

(in reply to FrankAr)

Post #: 33

RE: cheating? - 6/16/2007 4:05:42 AM

kittensmailbox

Posts: 744
Joined: 1/7/2005
From: Youngstown, Ohio
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: charmdpetKeira

I can think of only one reason a person would unjustly proclaim a person a cheater, claim to release them because they are unworth, but in reality keep then hanging on a hook; and if that is the case, she is better off to rip the hook from her mouth, if that’s what it takes, and swim away.

Sincerely,

k

best advise i have read on this topic....

_____________________________

~softly smiles

~lowers her eyes in respect~

~kitten

(in reply to charmdpetKeira)

Post #: 34

RE: cheating? - 6/16/2007 4:33:47 AM

spankmepink11

Posts: 1310
Joined: 9/28/2005
Status: offline

To the OP, sorry to hear this is going on, i have to agree with Kiera, My ex used to acuse me of cheating, i later found out that it was because he had cheated. You're possibly better off without someone who doesn't trust you or would dismiss you out of hand. If communication doesn't work, and he believes you to be unfaithful, i'm not sure what recourse you have but to accept his dismissal and choose more wisely next time?

In regards to helping the ex, i see no problem with it. My ex and i do not, or would not "hang out" with one another, outside of something to do with the kids. We don't even always get along, but we have known eachother for over 25 years. I know that if i asked him for help he would do what he could, and if he needed something (other than sex of course) and i was in a position to help him...i would...and have.

good luck

(in reply to kittensmailbox)

Post #: 35

RE: cheating? - 6/16/2007 6:07:11 AM

LotusSong

Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: kittensmailbox

not saying this is the answer, but maybe he was looking for a way out and instead of telling you; he blamed you in order to give himself an easy way out....

This was the first thing that came to my mind also. You know what they say ;"when you point your finger at someone else, there are three pointing back at you".

_____________________________

Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.

(in reply to kittensmailbox)

Post #: 36

RE: cheating? - 6/16/2007 7:03:49 AM

DaddysDollBaybee

Posts: 1
Joined: 7/7/2006
Status: offline

We most despise in others what we despise in ourselves. If your partner is obsessed with your possible cheating, most likely he/she is the one doing the cheating.

(in reply to charmdpetKeira)

Post #: 37

RE: cheating? - 6/16/2007 10:47:17 AM

Celeste43

Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: FrankAr

You have a NEW Master, a new life. So in my mind it should have started once you accepted the new collar. I might be old fashioned, but just hear me out. The only part of the previous life where I would have you involved is with the young one, that is the bottom line. The young one is the love of the life, full stop. NOTHING else is there to warrant anything. If it does, then you have to look hard and deep at where your love and heart lies.

He had the car in for service, then let Him catch a taxi there. You have to think in the back of your mind, you and He have finished, finalised it, so let His life stop there and have you walk forward from there. If you continue seeing Him because of the young un, then I think you are actually looking at the relationship in more ways than one. You and He have finished so then finalise it.

You and He have a young un, well then pick the young un up with your NEW owner all the time, re-inforcing the thought that the relationship between you and the previous Master has now finished. If you do not, then it does send wrong messages. It is like if you keep an old collar. I would have no concern, about what the old Master has informed you. I would have you send it back and finalise the relationship. Keeping the collar would only re-inforce the mental dominance over you by the previous Master.

Be well.

Frank Ar.

I totally disagree. Her new owner hasn't committed to her child. He could walk in a minute. Luckily her ex is committed to their child. What matters here is the child, not assuaging some new man's insecure ego.

The best thing for a child of a broken home is for the parents to get along, to work together for the best of the child. That includes helping each other out when needed.

Being a mother comes before being a submissive, always.

(in reply to FrankAr)

Post #: 38

RE: cheating? - 6/16/2007 4:20:02 PM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: SirMGD
That's why once you end it with someone, remaining friends with them is dubious if not dangerous.

Only if the people involved are
a) not trustworthy
b) choose future partners who are immature dorks and can't understand becoming friends with ex's or seriously trusting your partner

Agreed. Master knows that I still maintain a friendship with my ex. It doesn't even bother him. He knows where my heart is and he's totally secure in our relationship.

< Message edited by OsideGirl -- 6/16/2007 4:21:59 PM >

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 39

RE: cheating? - 6/16/2007 9:01:20 PM

TemptingNviceSub

Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline

To the OP ...Without trust there is no relationship...only a lot of unhappy people...Tempting

< Message edited by TemptingNviceSub -- 6/16/2007 9:02:02 PM >

_____________________________

I have greatly enjoyed the second blooming...suddenly you find at the age of 50, that a whole new life has opened before you.........Agatha Christie.

You must make tracks into the unknown~~Thoreau

(in reply to OsideGirl)

Post #: 40

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> RE: cheating?

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.094