RE: When is enough, enough…..or where does acceptance end? (Full Version)

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domiguy -> RE: When is enough, enough…..or where does acceptance end? (6/17/2007 4:13:04 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LightHeartedMaam

quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

The problem mistoferin and angelic...Is you need to be specific as to what type of activities warrant your interference or help?.....It's fine to be outspoken and object to some advice given or someone's opinion on a forum.  It is quite another to try to enforce your values upon others as to how they conduct their private lives.


When some guy is taking pictures of a naked kid running around from under his table and the parent deciding her french fries getting cold was far more important than getting her son's clothing from the card (stripping him naked when only his shirt was soiled with a honey spot?!) is a pretty good indicator that there's a problem.

What the OP did took guts.  We could use more people like her who aren't afraid to take a stand. 


That wasn't the op that was cjenny...You should read more carefully....And also if you were able to comprehend what you read, you would realize that the op was using her story about the drunk guy and his daughter as an analogy to what should she do if she finds something that is in her opinion intolerable in wiitwd.....

That, LHM, was what my post was in response to....You should read more carefully.....I can see your lips moving.




cjenny -> RE: When is enough, enough…..or where does acceptance end? (6/17/2007 4:20:06 PM)

domiguy I did think before I asked the manager to step in. I waited to see if maybe she was just frazzled and needed a moment before dressing the kidlet again. I waited long enough to judge that it was a problem and yes I had to use what I considered to be my judgement.
There is a difference between nosey intrusion and realising that there is a bad situation that needs stepped into. It is always a judgement call unless you're a law enforcement person or such and we can only hope that it is a clear headed decision.
I wouldn't want my neighbors calling in because I'm naked and smoking a joint in my yard, but I would want them to if they saw me running naked in my yard screaming because of the chainsaw wielding maniac behind me [;)]

Like any thing it can be taken too far but there are times when intercedence is needed.




LightHeartedMaam -> RE: When is enough, enough…..or where does acceptance end? (6/17/2007 4:25:28 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

quote:

ORIGINAL: LightHeartedMaam

quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

The problem mistoferin and angelic...Is you need to be specific as to what type of activities warrant your interference or help?.....It's fine to be outspoken and object to some advice given or someone's opinion on a forum.  It is quite another to try to enforce your values upon others as to how they conduct their private lives.


When some guy is taking pictures of a naked kid running around from under his table and the parent deciding her french fries getting cold was far more important than getting her son's clothing from the card (stripping him naked when only his shirt was soiled with a honey spot?!) is a pretty good indicator that there's a problem.

What the OP did took guts.  We could use more people like her who aren't afraid to take a stand. 


That wasn't the op that was cjenny...You should read more carefully....And also if you were able to comprehend what you read, you would realize that the op was using her story about the drunk guy and his daughter as an analogy to what should she do if she finds something that is in her opinion intolerable in wiitwd.....

That, LHM, was what my post was in response to....You should read more carefully.....I can see your lips moving.


Yeah, I  realized that I responded to cjenny's post and not the op.  The world did not to come to an end  But you seem to waste no time in jumping on people's errors. Had you bothered to read my email to you, you may have learned something, 

I refuse to take you as my slave,  Mr Hinky, so quit begging!




domiguy -> RE: When is enough, enough…..or where does acceptance end? (6/17/2007 7:57:57 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: cjenny

domiguy I did think before I asked the manager to step in. I waited to see if maybe she was just frazzled and needed a moment before dressing the kidlet again. I waited long enough to judge that it was a problem and yes I had to use what I considered to be my judgement.
There is a difference between nosey intrusion and realising that there is a bad situation that needs stepped into. It is always a judgement call unless you're a law enforcement person or such and we can only hope that it is a clear headed decision.
I wouldn't want my neighbors calling in because I'm naked and smoking a joint in my yard, but I would want them to if they saw me running naked in my yard screaming because of the chainsaw wielding maniac behind me [;)]

Like any thing it can be taken too far but there are times when intercedence is needed.


Cjenny you did exactly what I would hope any concerned person should do...You didn't confront the lady, you addressed your concerns with the manager of the store...That should have been the end of it right there....You did good.




MistressSassy66 -> RE: When is enough, enough…..or where does acceptance end? (6/17/2007 7:58:57 PM)

The thing at Wendys was way out of line of the Mother...the thought she didnt apparently care a dude was taking pics.

I have to ask why did you not report the man taking pics,that I would think that would be more of a crime than the code laws of nakedness in a place to eat.

Followed the dude out got a plate number...the proof was on the phone he had.

That guy could be a child predator...that I could never live with.
I'm not trying to make you feel bad,but that guy would have creeped Me out enough to file a complaint and called the police on him rather than the mom.




domiguy -> RE: When is enough, enough…..or where does acceptance end? (6/17/2007 8:13:42 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LightHeartedMaam

quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

quote:

ORIGINAL: LightHeartedMaam

quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

The problem mistoferin and angelic...Is you need to be specific as to what type of activities warrant your interference or help?.....It's fine to be outspoken and object to some advice given or someone's opinion on a forum.  It is quite another to try to enforce your values upon others as to how they conduct their private lives.


When some guy is taking pictures of a naked kid running around from under his table and the parent deciding her french fries getting cold was far more important than getting her son's clothing from the card (stripping him naked when only his shirt was soiled with a honey spot?!) is a pretty good indicator that there's a problem.

What the OP did took guts.  We could use more people like her who aren't afraid to take a stand. 


That wasn't the op that was cjenny...You should read more carefully....And also if you were able to comprehend what you read, you would realize that the op was using her story about the drunk guy and his daughter as an analogy to what should she do if she finds something that is in her opinion intolerable in wiitwd.....

That, LHM, was what my post was in response to....You should read more carefully.....I can see your lips moving.


Yeah, I  realized that I responded to cjenny's post and not the op.  The world did not to come to an end  But you seem to waste no time in jumping on people's errors. Had you bothered to read my email to you, you may have learned something, 

I refuse to take you as my slave,  Mr Hinky, so quit begging!


You seemed to have wasted no time to erroneously place my quote as if I had made it in regards to the action that cjenny took with the situation that arose while she was at Wendy's.

I made it in regards to the op's thoughts of being a "nosey busibody" and 
quote:

angelic
By virtue of being a human on this great big planet i think it is my job to save people.... and if i needed saving... i sure as shit hope someone would try to save me from myself.  We can be, after all, our own worst enemies.


I deleted your CMail to me without reading it because I knew there was no possibility of learning anything from it.




angelic -> RE: When is enough, enough…..or where does acceptance end? (6/17/2007 8:21:17 PM)

Do not take it to heart LightheartedMaam i think his dig was at me.  ;)
And since he really has not contributed much here, other than take issue with the fact that i think we are way too forgiving in WIITWD... and accept everything as being 'ok' because it is supposedly consentual,  i have taken the action of not seeing his posts.  i pay hard earned money for my isp... i do not want to waste the bandwidth.




TheDiva -> RE: When is enough, enough…..or where does acceptance end? (6/17/2007 8:23:22 PM)

I haven't read through all the responses (and it looks like I'm gonna have to have someone look at the "v" key on this laptop) but I would say that if you can prevent something bad from happening to another person, why not? I can see you staying behind with the clerk; she might have needed someone to defuse the situation. And although the drunk guy turned out to be the girl's dad, you would have kicked yourself if you found out later that she had been kidnapped the night before and killed sometime after she left the store. The only thing I wondered while reading your story was: what would you have done if Drunk and Drunker ran off the road while you were following them?




angelic -> RE: When is enough, enough…..or where does acceptance end? (6/17/2007 8:29:03 PM)

Thankfully i did not have to make that decision.  However, i would have immediately called the police and then kicked myself more for not doing more.  No matter what anyone here says... no one can make me feel worse.  Now i can choose to 'get over it' or i can dwell on it and be miserable or learn from it.  Hopefully i learned something from it.




domiguy -> RE: When is enough, enough…..or where does acceptance end? (6/17/2007 8:44:34 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: angelic

Do not take it to heart LightheartedMaam i think his dig was at me.  ;)
And since he really has not contributed much here, other than take issue with the fact that i think we are way too forgiving in WIITWD... and accept everything as being 'ok' because it is supposedly consentual,  i have taken the action of not seeing his posts.  i pay hard earned money for my isp... i do not want to waste the bandwidth.


Whether you value my contributions to this thread is of little interest....And Yes, we accept much because it is supposed to be consentual....So where and how do you plan on sticking your nose into the business of others?

quote:

Domiguy
O.k.  But where do you begin and how do you determine who has crossed "your" line of decency...There is a thread where someone is discussing the reality of becoming a "pony."  Is that depraved enough to warrant an intervention?  Or is it someone who is being abused?...Is it \mental or physical or both? And how much?

and....
quote:

Domiguy
The problem mistoferin and angelic...Is you need to be specific as to what type of activities warrant your interference or help?.....It's fine to be outspoken and object to some advice given or someone's opinion on a forum.  It is quite another to try to enforce your values upon others as to how they conduct their private lives.


Which your only response was....

quote:

angelic

i have to ask this question.  What if the person being beat, in the eyes of the law and government is mentally incompetent?  Then what?


So this is your answer?  This is your grand scheme to clean up bdsm? 

And no, there was no dig at anyone....I would have never mentioned that fact that I deleted without reading LHM's CMail if she hadn't brought it up.....I put little value on what she has to say or else I would have read it.



Lastly....It is extremely important to announce the blocking of someone before you do it.....lol.




swtnsparkling -> RE: When is enough, enough…..or where does acceptance end? (6/18/2007 2:57:52 AM)

Who cares what anyone eles thinks. If you but into a situation because at that moment your instinct is to do so-  do it. 
If I am wrong then I'm wrong /sorry and will learn something from it I'd hope. But my  intention is there to help- my gut tells me it is the right thing to do.
No one can possibly know what outcome there might be. Some people would hate an offering of help, others may thank you for it. You just can't know.
It could be a win /win or  a lose/lose situation.
Id rather regret butting in and being wrong then regret not butting in and some thing terrible happeneing.






bandit25 -> RE: When is enough, enough…..or where does acceptance end? (6/18/2007 3:24:22 AM)

Yeah, domiguy's post are often humorous, but many, many times he injects a much needed bit of humor into threads that threaten to get ugly.  Course, I don't see that as being the case here.  I have to agree with him and with julia.  What you did was fine, but I don't see the correlation between that and WIITWD.  There are several things people post about that I don't particular like...some I don't think are particularly safe even, but that's just MY opinion.  I don't think I should be judge and jury of it.  You don't have to accept anything you don't like, as julia said, just walk away. 

People are crossing YOUR line of decency (as domiguy said), not their line of decency.  You have the right to not do what you don't want to do...other people have the right to do what they want to do.  As far as someone who isn't able to consent...well, yeah, that's a totally different matter.

edited to add:  domiguy, I'm NOT going to block you!




LaTigresse -> RE: When is enough, enough…..or where does acceptance end? (6/18/2007 3:33:51 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: bandit25

edited to add:  domiguy, I'm NOT going to block you!


Me either, one of the few people left around this joint that regularly make me laugh.




Aileen68 -> RE: When is enough, enough…..or where does acceptance end? (6/18/2007 3:43:45 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

quote:

ORIGINAL: bandit25

edited to add:  domiguy, I'm NOT going to block you!


Me either, one of the few people left around this joint that regularly make me laugh.


They only way I'd block domiguy would be to give him an elbow to his nose for an inappropriate massage. 




mistoferin -> RE: When is enough, enough…..or where does acceptance end? (6/18/2007 5:44:46 AM)

There is a big difference between acceptance and apathy...I think many people confuse the two.

I often hear "So long as it's not affecting me, why should I........"

Recently the local news conducted an experiment. They staged an incident of Domestic Violence to see what reactions they would get. They had a man and woman get into an altercation in front of the local Sam's club on a busy Saturday afternoon. It started out verbally and escalated to becoming physical. They did it for nearly 3 hours. While a couple of people passing by paused and looked like they might get involved.....NOT ONE DID! Not one single phone call to law enforcement either. It's a sad fucking world.

I see angelic's correlation here. I don't think she was talking about two consenting people sharing a kink that squicks her out personally....as a matter of fact I know she wasn't. I wasn't either. There are things that occur in WIITWD that are just plain wrong on every level....and if you want to say that you have never seen such occur...or that we should never involve ourselves in those kind of situations....you are not tolerant, you are not an "accepting" person....you are apathetic.




cjenny -> RE: When is enough, enough…..or where does acceptance end? (6/18/2007 5:57:57 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressSassy66

The thing at Wendys was way out of line of the Mother...the thought she didnt apparently care a dude was taking pics.

I have to ask why did you not report the man taking pics,that I would think that would be more of a crime than the code laws of nakedness in a place to eat.

Followed the dude out got a plate number...the proof was on the phone he had.

That guy could be a child predator...that I could never live with.
I'm not trying to make you feel bad,but that guy would have creeped Me out enough to file a complaint and called the police on him rather than the mom.


He left before the police arrived & I hadn't seen him leave so I couldn't get that plate number. Yes I know he could have been a predator, that is half the reason I alerted the manager.
I am not about to take on a strange man in a confrontation, if I had been able to get his plate I would have.
I couldn't follow him because I didn't catch him leaving being a bit distracted by lunatic momma beating on my car window.
Maybe I should have done more but it was a bit frantic with everything going on & me being the only one speaking up.
All I could do was tell the police his description. Sigh yeah I should have kept a closer eye on him or something but obviously I didn't so in that respect I screwed up. So yes I guess I should have found a way to stop him tho it would have been nice if the manager had also tried.

I did the best I could. I reported him but didn't stop him because I didn't see him leave. It's kind of typical of me managing to screw up.




angelic -> RE: When is enough, enough…..or where does acceptance end? (6/18/2007 5:59:34 AM)

~fast reply~ i heard this morning that the sun did indeed rise in Chicago and i'm guessing that Domiguy's life did not change because i choose to block him.   But blocked he remains.  Have a nice day everyone and again thank you all for your input . 




KatyLied -> RE: When is enough, enough…..or where does acceptance end? (6/18/2007 6:24:45 AM)

quote:

Lastly....It is extremely important to announce the blocking of someone before you do it.....lol.


Of course.  It's no fun to block people without them knowing it.  I like the public pronouncements.  It puts you in your place.   [:D]




MissSCD -> RE: When is enough, enough…..or where does acceptance end? (6/18/2007 7:06:42 AM)

To the Op:

I would have probably done the same thing; however, I work in retail as well.  I see idiots every day.  You have to be careful no to put yourself in harms way.  When you go to a convient store, mall, etc, you have to be careful.
There is little management can do because they can get into a law suit.  Cashiers are totally helpless. 
I have little kids throw things at me.  I had one lady try to ring up her own order.   It is totally crazy in some areas.
All I can say is be careful because one of them could have a gun and get you instead.

Regards, MissSCD




juliaoceania -> RE: When is enough, enough…..or where does acceptance end? (6/18/2007 7:59:13 AM)

quote:

I see angelic's correlation here. I don't think she was talking about two consenting people sharing a kink that squicks her out personally....as a matter of fact I know she wasn't. I wasn't either. There are things that occur in WIITWD that are just plain wrong on every level....and if you want to say that you have never seen such occur...or that we should never involve ourselves in those kind of situations....you are not tolerant, you are not an "accepting" person....you are apathetic.


I wish someone that is for interjecting themselves into relationships in this lifestyle would please come forth and state examples of when one should interfere. Perhaps some of us that are strongly resistant to it may change our minds if a case comes forward that we can identify with

Personally I do not know people real time in the lifestyle, I only know people that post here. I do not feel it is up to me to interject myself based upon anyone's posts here. I may offer an opinion on the forum, but that is about it.

I have talked to submissives here that have had people they did not know who tried to interject themselves into their relationships via the other side. I have had people question my relationship and its validity on this site. I have had others tell me I had to get away from Sinergy because I call him "Daddy". It just seems silly and odd to make assumptions about other people based upon  a few posts. One of my submissives friends had someone who insisted that she must be abused even though I have never seen her say anything but that she was satisfied and happy with her relationship on CM.

So who are the policemen on CM? What qualifies them as having an expert opinion about the consensual relationships of others...

And Erin, I quoted you and asked these questions because I have every belief you can answer them coherently, no one else has as of yet.




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