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MzMia -> RE: Contracts... how important are they to a M/s relationship (6/17/2007 4:31:22 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: ProfJoe
Okay, so "contract" is the wrong word for what is, after all, an agreement based on the negotiations between two.
When I started with my current girl (think "consideration") we had paper and very specific language; it wasn't final but it was a guide to training for her, and of my expectations for her, as well as some promises re: what she could expect and what I would not do. It was five pages!
We reviewed it every three months and made changes -- it was an agreement that was an excuse to communicate. They were two pages!
This coming week we're going to make our relationship permanent; as much as "training" can be complete, hers is done, at least until something changes to make new work necessary; we now have come up with a paragraph each, explaining in words we understand with one another, what promises we are making.
We plan to revise it every six months, if either is interested in discussing it; if not, then we'll go a year.
The point, for me, is that people change and our needs change. That changes the relationship, every day in some small, minute way. In time, the changes become something that should be noticed in a conversation. If nothing else, the structure I've imposed makes it so there is less chance we'll over look important things that might get in the way of our growth.
We both take what we say (and have written down) seriously so for us it really is a contract. Sure, it would get us thrown out of court and perhaps into jail. Nonetheless, it is what we've agreed.
Hope this helps.
Respectfully, Prof. Joe
Thank you for better explaining what I meant about writing down "expectations".
Too many here are narrow minded thinkers, to me it has nothing to do with reinforcing it legally.
It is a set of agreed expectations, needs and guidelines that you both have agreed too.
If it is not for you? Don't do it, but I love the idea and look forward to doing it.[:D]
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