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Contracts... how important are they to a M/s relationship - 6/16/2007 7:55:42 PM   
dincubus


Posts: 231
Joined: 10/22/2005
From: South Dakota
Status: offline 		Just curious, but how important are contracts to a consensual M/s relationship. Are they necessary or just a good idea?
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RE: Contracts... how important are they to a M/s relati... - 6/16/2007 8:01:20 PM   
Quivver


Posts: 1953
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline 		This is only my opinion...
An unenforcable contract is only worth the paper it's written on.



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(in reply to dincubus)
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RE: Contracts... how important are they to a M/s relati... - 6/16/2007 8:03:49 PM   
HutchGarahl


Posts: 562
Joined: 1/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: dincubus

Just curious, but how important are contracts to a consensual M/s relationship. Are they necessary or just a good idea?



That depends on the people in the relationships. In my home, contracts are an essential part. They are there for references..so there are no misconceptions as to what each persons expectations and limits are. While they may not really be needed, most who have served under me have said the contracts are reassuring to them in their position of service.

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RE: Contracts... how important are they to a M/s relati... - 6/16/2007 8:52:08 PM   
slaveluci


Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: dincubus
Just curious, but how important are contracts to a consensual M/s relationship. Are they necessary or just a good idea?

Neither in our M/s relationship.  I know people use them and I can certainly see why they do but they have had no place in our particular relationship.......slave luci

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RE: Contracts... how important are they to a M/s relati... - 6/16/2007 9:04:57 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: dincubus

Just curious, but how important are contracts to a consensual M/s relationship. Are they necessary or just a good idea?



they are only necessary for those that require them... other wise.... they are waste of good paper.

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Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to dincubus)
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RE: Contracts... how important are they to a M/s relati... - 6/16/2007 9:08:42 PM   
MzMia


Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline 		I am not sure if I want a contract, but the next time I am in a relationship, I would
like to write down my expectations and have him sign it.
I have seen many people get "comfortable" in relationships and stop doing the things
they did in the early parts of a relationship.
It might be good to pull out if someone gets "lazy" or thoughtless as a reminder.

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Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain


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"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

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RE: Contracts... how important are they to a M/s relati... - 6/16/2007 10:17:12 PM   
earthycouple


Posts: 4462
Joined: 2/19/2006
Status: offline 		Who is going to determine the outcome of said contract when one partner bails; Judge Judy?

Contract is a word I despise in BDSM.  If you want to say something, create something consider vows, committments, wants for each other...or even protocols.

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Seeking, searching, hoping, living, loving, jumping. So what's new with you?

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RE: Contracts... how important are they to a M/s relati... - 6/16/2007 10:57:22 PM   
Archer


Posts: 3207
Joined: 3/11/2005
Status: offline 		The contract itself is of limited use. The negotiations you go through to reach the agreement that becomes the contract is golden.
You can certainly have a fullfiling D/s or M/s relationship with or without one.



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RE: Contracts... how important are they to a M/s relati... - 6/16/2007 11:15:58 PM   
dincubus


Posts: 231
Joined: 10/22/2005
From: South Dakota
Status: offline 		thank you all. i now have a bit more to go on. i appreciate the info you all have given thus far and will appreciate what other info comes forth

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RE: Contracts... how important are they to a M/s relati... - 6/16/2007 11:16:02 PM   
Lordandmaster


Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline 		A contract is very important because if your sub installs your dishwasher improperly, you have legal recourse as long as you obtained a properly phrased contract.

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RE: Contracts... how important are they to a M/s relati... - 6/16/2007 11:19:32 PM   
MySweetSubmssive


Posts: 1139
Joined: 2/7/2006
From: Lehigh Valley, PA
Status: offline 		Would that cover you for sub contractors, too?

MSS

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RE: Contracts... how important are they to a M/s relati... - 6/16/2007 11:35:50 PM   
HeavansKeeper


Posts: 1254
Joined: 5/14/2007
Status: offline 		I would imagine the contract is a bigger deal for people who move around from relationship to relationship, and those who are "pro-BDSM."  This, of course, meaning those who engage in BDSM with an exchange of money or services.  I would imagine contracts are quite valuable during slave-trading and what not. 

Honor and integrity are immensely important to me, so a contract seems sour and insulting.  I can see how a submissive would want the protection of a written promise by his or her new dominant.  If I was to belong to a woman, it would set my mind at ease that she wouldn't expose me to any stranger's fluids, for example.

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... You've waited your whole life for this moment...

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RE: Contracts... how important are they to a M/s relati... - 6/16/2007 11:43:51 PM   
Lordandmaster


Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline 		Witty witty.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MySweetSubmssive

Would that cover you for sub contractors, too?

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RE: Contracts... how important are they to a M/s relati... - 6/17/2007 11:39:38 AM   
robertolapiedra


Posts: 520
Joined: 5/3/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Archer

The contract itself is of limited use. The negotiations you go through to reach the agreement that becomes the contract is golden.
You can certainly have a fullfiling D/s or M/s relationship with or without one.




Hello Archer. Exactly! In D/s a "contract" is highly symbolic at best. Call it a temporary agreement, a starting point with open clauses.

When things get "fuzzy", I send an E-mail or a letter about what I expect. Sometimes the reply contains highly acceptable "suggestions". It is only a tool for communication in my case, and I do not call it a "contract". Clauses in a contract do not garantee anything. It is only intent. Reality and time defines what is applicable. RL.

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RE: Contracts... how important are they to a M/s relati... - 6/17/2007 11:51:09 AM   
slaverosebeauty


Posts: 1941
Joined: 12/12/2004
From: Cali
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: dincubus
Just curious, but how important are contracts to a consensual M/s relationship. Are they necessary or just a good idea?


I've used them, I've written them and done them so they were completly legal {its ALL in the wording}.

I think a contract like what Merc and beth have is a great idea, I have a copy somewhere that Merc sent me, its beautifull; its well written and its their commitment to eachother. Personally, I woudl love to follow their example of a 'contract' in my won life once I get to that stage with someone. Print it out on nice paper, frame it and keep it as our personal commitment to eachother. SOunds nice.

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"Friends live on in our hearts, regardless if they are here or not."

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RE: Contracts... how important are they to a M/s relati... - 6/17/2007 2:06:16 PM   
charismagirrl


Posts: 297
Joined: 8/30/2006
Status: offline 		i can only speak for the contract i have with my Master/Daddy by saying that i really love the idea of contracts for a three reasons.

One reason to me, is that it is something that basically states our intention toward eachother. It isn't legal or binding but it is a written declaration of what we desire our relationship to be. It wasn't done for negotiations or anything, because we really didn't negotiate anyway. It consists of 2 pieces of paper that we feel honor bound to uphold.

Secondly, and it really goes along with the first in a way, is the romantic notion of it. To me, very much like wedding vows, they are pretty and flowery and sweet and romantic.but could be done simply without that part. ( Do you? yeah I do. yeah me too! would suffice but it just pales IMO)  Personally i'd rather include the flowery words, the meaning is still as firm, and the only really binding part is in our hearts and minds anyway.

Lastly,and it's just an aside, is when i have felt uncentered, like when my Daddy travels for business, i kneel in front of it and read it everyday like a mantra or affirmation. It has been really helpful.


_____________________________

For today i won't say but...
For today i wont say just...
For today i will simply obey....
For today i will trust that You are right...
For always i will be your imperfect slave

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RE: Contracts... how important are they to a M/s relati... - 6/17/2007 2:09:21 PM   
charismagirrl


Posts: 297
Joined: 8/30/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: slaverosebeauty

quote:

ORIGINAL: dincubus


I think a contract like what Merc and beth have is a great idea, I have a copy somewhere that Merc sent me, its beautifull; its well written and its their commitment to eachother. Personally, I woudl love to follow their example of a 'contract' in my won life once I get to that stage with someone. Print it out on nice paper, frame it and keep it as our personal commitment to eachother. SOunds nice.


This is what i have done with ours. i made a beautiful border of his fav color and mine and blended them together and then put alot of stuff written in chinese characters around the top and bottom borders describing our responsibilites to eachother as well as our roles. and then the contract is in the middle on white. It is on photo paper and framed. Really pretty.

Would love to see other's contracts as well.


_____________________________

For today i won't say but...
For today i wont say just...
For today i will simply obey....
For today i will trust that You are right...
For always i will be your imperfect slave

http://www.mycollarspace.com

(in reply to slaverosebeauty)
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RE: Contracts... how important are they to a M/s relati... - 6/17/2007 2:19:32 PM   
BOUNTYHUNTER


Posts: 9259
Joined: 2/5/2004
Status: offline 		I think a contract is worthless as far as a bdrm relationship,how would you enforce it.If a master/slave are in business together or buying property as a couple then perhaps it would protect her interest and maybe not, it depends on which state the contract is entered in between the two.. As always just this ol' masters views..bounty

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US going to hell in a hand basket/

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RE: Contracts... how important are they to a M/s relati... - 6/17/2007 2:31:11 PM   
FLMaster1958


Posts: 9
Joined: 7/13/2004
Status: offline 		I believe the point here is very simple. As others have stated, a contract is not legally binding. It is all a matter of trust. If you do not trust one enough to serve without a contract, maybe you should not serve them at all. Marriage is both a legal and emotional contract... a contract of trust. Yet over 56% of marriages fail. If this type of contract fails this badly, what use is a contract in a M/s relationship?

I knew some say it spells things out clearly. But, if you can not trust your Owner's word, then you can not trust your Owner. Don't serve him/her.

(in reply to BOUNTYHUNTER)
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RE: Contracts... how important are they to a M/s relati... - 6/17/2007 2:42:48 PM   
angelic


Posts: 1807
Joined: 1/24/2005
Status: offline 		i was under contract once.  The contract gave him complete rights over me, even gave him the right to kill  me (yep once upon a time i was 'that girl').  Unfortunately, he broke the contract by lying.  Said contract was no longer valid... regardless of the fact that he kept telling me he could 'change his mind' whenever he wanted so therefore that negated any lies.

No, i do not believe a contract is necessary.  If one is used, regardless of whether they are 'legal' or not, a person should never go into one lightly.  i view contracts as something akin to giving my word, and my word has to be good for it to be of value.

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~....and once you have tasted flight, you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been and there you long to return.~ -- Leonardo de Vinci


(in reply to dincubus)
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