Is it unrealistic to have a lifetime commitment in D/s? maybe poly can solve the problem?

Is it unrealistic to have a lifetime commitment in D/s? maybe poly can solve the problem? (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master

Message

Renal -> Is it unrealistic to have a lifetime commitment in D/s? maybe poly can solve the problem? (6/16/2007 9:05:18 PM)
Its more like a game even if its in a D/s relationship, people who are into D/s crave for stimulation(physically and mentally) more than anything, obviously a life time commitment relaitonship cant offer this kind of excitement, so its not uncommon to see D/s relationships fail in a couple of years or months while the fresh stimulation is no more existing. Its sad to me, as Im a sub, and I do want a life time commitment in D/s, which seems very unrealistic. maybe being poly can kind of solve the problem, when being in a bigger family, Doms always feel a lot better, and subs wont be replaced too quickly. Im not sure if its the fact, Im new here, and I havent had a Dom. so feel free to oppose to me... hehe...

KnightofMists -> RE: Is it unrealistic to have a lifetime commitment in D/s? maybe poly can solve the problem? (6/16/2007 9:07:32 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Renal Im not sure if its the fact, Im new here, and I havent had a Dom. so feel free to oppose to me... hehe... mmmmmmm, yes you do have much to learn....

slaveluci -> RE: Is it unrealistic to have a lifetime commitment in D/s? maybe poly can solve the problem? (6/16/2007 9:14:28 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Renal Its more like a game even if its in a D/s relationship, people who are into D/s crave for stimulation(physically and mentally) more than anything, obviously a life time commitment relaitonship cant offer this kind of excitement, so its not uncommon to see D/s relationships fail in a couple of years or months while the fresh stimulation is no more existing. Its sad to me, as Im a sub, and I do want a life time commitment in D/s, which seems very unrealistic. maybe being poly can kind of solve the problem, when being in a bigger family, Doms always feel a lot better, and subs wont be replaced too quickly. Im not sure if its the fact, Im new here, and I havent had a Dom. so feel free to oppose to me... hehe... [sm=confused.gif].....From what I can decipher (which is not much), you seem to be saying that D/s is a game because those in a D/s relationship crave more excitement than their relationship can ever produce or sustain and that a lifelong D/s relationship is very unrealistic. Hmmmmmm........yep, I definitely "oppose" that[8\|]. I don't really have the time or energy to explain it but, suffice to say, that is definitely not the case for all of us. FYI - it's not a game, I have more excitement than I've ever had and it shows no signs of diminishing, and we're definitely in this thing for life. If you think D/s isn't going to work, "going poly" REALLY isn't going to work. If you can't have a successful relationship with one person, what makes you think adding a few more is going to change anything? That would just create more of the same problems, wouldn't it? (That's a rhetorical question by the way and the answer is "yes, it certainly would")..........slave luci **edited for punctuation**

TemptingNviceSub -> RE: Is it unrealistic to have a lifetime commitment in D/s? maybe poly can solve the problem? (6/16/2007 9:16:32 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Renal Its more like a game even if its in a D/s relationship, people who are into D/s crave for stimulation(physically and mentally) more than anything, obviously a life time commitment relaitonship cant offer this kind of excitement, so its not uncommon to see D/s relationships fail in a couple of years or months while the fresh stimulation is no more existing. Its sad to me, as Im a sub, and I do want a life time commitment in D/s, which seems very unrealistic. maybe being poly can kind of solve the problem, when being in a bigger family, Doms always feel a lot better, and subs wont be replaced too quickly. Im not sure if its the fact, Im new here, and I havent had a Dom. so feel free to oppose to me... hehe... Whatever relationship someone finds themselves in wether D/s or vanilla..you are still dealing with human beings. There are long term relationships in D/s and vanilla and there are short term ones in both as well..the common denominator will always be YOU in that relationship. So hence if you seek long term and you work at it very hard in either vanilla or D/s then it will be up to you,and your partner, as to its longevity.And as KnightofMists stated..you seem to have much to learn..Tempting

MamaDomme -> RE: Is it unrealistic to have a lifetime commitment in D/s? maybe poly can solve the problem? (6/16/2007 9:17:11 PM)
consider yourself "opposed" and I echo what luci said.

MagiksSlave -> RE: Is it unrealistic to have a lifetime commitment in D/s? maybe poly can solve the problem? (6/16/2007 9:39:04 PM)
Yeah Have to say I totaly dissagree, why do people seem to think that people inot D/s are sooo different from others??? We arent a different breed of humen we just like different things like everyone els. Magik's slave

proudsub -> RE: Is it unrealistic to have a lifetime commitment in D/s? maybe poly can solve the problem? (6/16/2007 9:49:28 PM)
quote: obviously a life time commitment relaitonship cant offer this kind of excitement, so its not uncommon to see D/s relationships fail in a couple of years or months while the fresh stimulation is no more existing. Our 39 yrs of marraige isn't yet a lifetime but it's working and still exciting because we continually explore new ideas.[:)]

Wildfleurs -> RE: Is it unrealistic to have a lifetime commitment in D/s? maybe poly can solve the problem? (6/16/2007 9:59:52 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Renal Its more like a game even if its in a D/s relationship, people who are into D/s crave for stimulation(physically and mentally) more than anything, obviously a life time commitment relaitonship cant offer this kind of excitement, so its not uncommon to see D/s relationships fail in a couple of years or months while the fresh stimulation is no more existing. Its sad to me, as Im a sub, and I do want a life time commitment in D/s, which seems very unrealistic. maybe being poly can kind of solve the problem, when being in a bigger family, Doms always feel a lot better, and subs wont be replaced too quickly. Im not sure if its the fact, Im new here, and I havent had a Dom. so feel free to oppose to me... hehe... ' Unfortunately you can't tell that something is a lifetime committment until one of the two people are dead. But there are certainly several long term ds/ms couples on the boards (including myself and my owner). C~

earthycouple -> RE: Is it unrealistic to have a lifetime commitment in D/s? maybe poly can solve the problem? (6/16/2007 10:15:04 PM)
To the OP: Do you know there is only about a 50% chance of a "typical" marriage making it?

SensualPassion41 -> RE: Is it unrealistic to have a lifetime commitment in D/s? maybe poly can solve the problem? (6/16/2007 10:23:10 PM)
Being a submissive is not a game to me, it is my nature, it is who I am. I serve Master with all that I am and all that I will be. The relationship requires work, just as any other relationship does. Maybe you get bored in your relationships and they don't last because you approach them as a game.

Archer -> RE: Is it unrealistic to have a lifetime commitment in D/s? maybe poly can solve the problem? (6/16/2007 11:39:14 PM)
Your initial premise is wrong "people who are into D/s crave for stimulation(physically and mentally) more than anything" therefore your conclussion " as Im a sub, and I do want a life time commitment in D/s, which seems very unrealistic." must also be flawed. TWo flaws in the first premise D/s is about the mental craving for structure, It has little to nothing to do with the physical and it's not the stimulation but the structure that is at the center of the issue, and second flaw being "More than anything else" anything is a huge word, It's not hard to find a number of things people into M/s crave more than a M/s relationship hell the boards are full of failed relationships that prove there are things that outweigh M/s and D/s in many people's minds. When you clarify what is craved "structure" then itbecomes obvious that D/s is entirely compatable with long term and even lifetime relationships.

HutchGarahl -> RE: Is it unrealistic to have a lifetime commitment in D/s? maybe poly can solve the problem? (6/17/2007 1:33:55 AM)
Dang..so that's what i've been doing wrong! I've been playing a game for 30 years. Well, not a life time...but i'd say a relationship lasting almost 10 years would fall into a long term catagory. And no dear, it had nothing..ok, maybe some...but not all with stimulation. That can be fun depending on how ya get it. [8D] Yup.....ya got lots to learn.

sambamanslilgirl -> RE: Is it unrealistic to have a lifetime commitment in D/s? maybe poly can solve the problem? (6/17/2007 8:13:16 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Renal Its more like a game even if its in a D/s relationship, people who are into D/s crave for stimulation(physically and mentally) more than anything, obviously a life time commitment relaitonship cant offer this kind of excitement, so its not uncommon to see D/s relationships fail in a couple of years or months while the fresh stimulation is no more existing. quote bolded to make a point - says who ...you? how do you know this? where are your data to support this one-sided opinion from someone who does not have a Dom. Daddy and i don't treat our D/s relationship as a silly child's game. so if you feel BDSM is a merely the sexual kink of the month for you, that's your pov however for most us, we take it seriously. oh btw we'll be celebrating our 1st anniversary - so for all intents and purposes, we (and probably like many other lifetime committed couples) have defied your bias pov. our committed relationship does offer excitement, stimulation and romance that you unfortunately will not understand. .

NControlofU -> RE: Is it unrealistic to have a lifetime commitment in D/s? maybe poly can solve the problem? (6/17/2007 11:26:09 AM)
There are so many things that I could say about this but, somethings are just too absurd to even bother with. This entire passage is, in my view, one of the most absurd I have ever read. If this is how you really feel (and, since you say that you haven't "had a Dom", I don't know how you came up with this) but, maybe it would be best for you to avoid getting involved in a D/s relationship. quote: ORIGINAL: Renal Its more like a game even if its in a D/s relationship, people who are into D/s crave for stimulation(physically and mentally) more than anything, obviously a life time commitment relaitonship cant offer this kind of excitement, so its not uncommon to see D/s relationships fail in a couple of years or months while the fresh stimulation is no more existing. Its sad to me, as Im a sub, and I do want a life time commitment in D/s, which seems very unrealistic. maybe being poly can kind of solve the problem, when being in a bigger family, Doms always feel a lot better, and subs wont be replaced too quickly. Im not sure if its the fact, Im new here, and I havent had a Dom. so feel free to oppose to me... hehe...

ProfJoe -> RE: Is it unrealistic to have a lifetime commitment in D/s? maybe poly can solve the problem? (6/17/2007 4:42:02 PM)
I won't repeat what everyone else has basically said and that I agree with them rather than your notion that seems to be based on the ancient idea that "boys" (dominant in this case) "will be boys" and that "boys can't help themselves" and other crapola. I do agree that we all want to be excited. Heck, who doesn't? But that's not what life, or even this life, is about soooo .... I do suggest you begin to learn, and fast. Sounds to me like you've found yourself one of those wannabe HNGs who is trying to convince you that to fulfill your submissive desires you have to put up with his tomcat BS. Yes, there is "swapping" in the BDSM ... but that's because there are people who want to do it, not because it's BDSM. If you don't like that idea, I recommend two steps: a) get rid of your idea that "all men are like that" b) get rid of the man who is trying to feed you a line of hogwash. BDSM is a way of expressing your SELF. If you can't do it with one person, find someone who speaks your language. Respectfully, Prof. Joe

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Is it unrealistic to have a lifetime commitment in D/s? maybe poly can solve the problem? (6/17/2007 5:35:13 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Renal Its more like a game even if its in a D/s relationship, people who are into D/s crave for stimulation(physically and mentally) more than anything, obviously a life time commitment relaitonship cant offer this kind of excitement, so its not uncommon to see D/s relationships fail in a couple of years or months while the fresh stimulation is no more existing. Its sad to me, as Im a sub, and I do want a life time commitment in D/s, which seems very unrealistic. maybe being poly can kind of solve the problem, when being in a bigger family, Doms always feel a lot better, and subs wont be replaced too quickly. Im not sure if its the fact, Im new here, and I havent had a Dom. so feel free to oppose to me... hehe... What you describe here does indeed happen all the time. People want THE KINK so much that that's really all they care about. And relationships can't be sustained on kink alone, so they drift in and out- and often in a few years even burn out completely. However, that doesn't mean everyone is like that, or that they are like that forever.

julietsierra -> RE: Is it unrealistic to have a lifetime commitment in D/s? maybe poly can solve the problem? (6/17/2007 6:27:20 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Renal Its more like a game even if its in a D/s relationship, people who are into D/s crave for stimulation(physically and mentally) more than anything, obviously a life time commitment relaitonship cant offer this kind of excitement, so its not uncommon to see D/s relationships fail in a couple of years or months while the fresh stimulation is no more existing. Its sad to me, as Im a sub, and I do want a life time commitment in D/s, which seems very unrealistic. maybe being poly can kind of solve the problem, when being in a bigger family, Doms always feel a lot better, and subs wont be replaced too quickly. Im not sure if its the fact, Im new here, and I havent had a Dom. so feel free to oppose to me... hehe... I'm not an infatuation junkie. I like the intensity of emotion that long term relationships bring. I love intensity in bed. SM supplies that. I love obedience. D/s allows me to be obedient to the nth degree. So, to me, I'd say you need to rethink this a bit. juliet

missbehaeven -> RE: Is it unrealistic to have a lifetime commitment in D/s? maybe poly can solve the problem? (6/17/2007 6:44:17 PM)
~waves~ Greetings everyone, I'd like a committed relationship, and believe it no more likely to succeed or fail because of any single dynamic. A D/s relationship is no different than any other type of relationship that will go through phases of high and low. There are more issues that affect my responses and emotions at any given time in a relationship than physical stimulation and excitement(or lack thereof)... such as work fatigue, family issues, financial stresses, etc. If my potential mate and I can deal with those we'll be stronger in all aspects, and likely to succeed, and not just on a physical/excitement level. Have a safe Monday, all...miss

JerryInTampa -> RE: Is it unrealistic to have a lifetime commitment in D/s? maybe poly can solve the problem? (6/17/2007 7:12:33 PM)
The OP seems trolling to me.

Hiskat -> RE: Is it unrealistic to have a lifetime commitment in D/s? maybe poly can solve the problem? (6/17/2007 7:23:06 PM)
I disagree too . It is my humble opinion that relationships be it BDSM, vanilla, monogamous, or poly are based on a solid foundation which should involve an emense amount of trust and respect.

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

6.445313E-02