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RE: what would you do - 6/19/2007 7:25:10 AM   
slaveluci


Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
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quote:

ORIGINAL: NControlofU
Trust and honesty aren't just very important in WIITWD.  Theyre also usually pretty important to a good marriage.

Yeah, usually kinda important there too, no doubt.....luci

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Profile   Post #: 121
RE: what would you do - 6/19/2007 7:28:25 AM   
slaveluci


Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster
Of course--how can you have any respect for someone who knowingly sleeps with a married man and then tells his wife after the relationship falls apart?  That's what I'd call a destructive little cunt.

I agree here.  To me, involvement with the married man wasn't as "bad" as then running to tell his spouse once it's not going your way anymore.  That's vengeful, spiteful, and small in my opinion.  Yes, the deceit involved in the cheating is not exactly praiseworthy behavior but compounding that by purposely going to the wife and hurting her with the knowledge is much worse in my eyes............luci

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Profile   Post #: 122
RE: what would you do - 6/19/2007 12:55:17 PM   
ELUSIVE1


Posts: 536
Joined: 9/11/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveluci

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster
Of course--how can you have any respect for someone who knowingly sleeps with a married man and then tells his wife after the relationship falls apart?  That's what I'd call a destructive little cunt.

I agree here.  To me, involvement with the married man wasn't as "bad" as then running to tell his spouse once it's not going your way anymore.  That's vengeful, spiteful, and small in my opinion.  Yes, the deceit involved in the cheating is not exactly praiseworthy behavior but compounding that by purposely going to the wife and hurting her with the knowledge is much worse in my eyes............luci

hey, where did the "then tells his wife after the relationship falls apart' thing come in?? I never-- nor will I ever contact his wife...and as far as  the options Level so graciously laid out here...I stayed in a marriage to raise the kids...that is ancient history though...


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(in reply to slaveluci)
Profile   Post #: 123
RE: what would you do - 6/19/2007 1:01:12 PM   
cjenny


Posts: 1736
Joined: 11/27/2006
Status: offline 		When I said that bit about going to his wife feeling vengeful to me, I meant that in relation to those that shouted out it had to be done. Not that I felt you were planning to tell her nor that you had an unconcious/concious reason for it.
Sorry if you thought it was meant in any other way

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(in reply to ELUSIVE1)
Profile   Post #: 124
RE: what would you do - 6/19/2007 1:16:44 PM   
slaveluci


Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ELUSIVE1
hey, where did the "then tells his wife after the relationship falls apart' thing come in?? I never-- nor will I ever contact his wife...and as far as  the options Level so graciously laid out here...I stayed in a marriage to raise the kids...that is ancient history though

I was speaking in a general sense, elusive1.  Not saying you did or would but it happens alot and that was my opinion on those situations.  Sorry for the confusion :)     slave luci


< Message edited by slaveluci -- 6/19/2007 1:19:10 PM >

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To choose a good book, look in an inquisitor’s prohibited list. ~John Aikin

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Profile   Post #: 125
RE: what would you do - 6/19/2007 4:40:54 PM   
Lordandmaster


Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline 		A few other people suggested that.  Not you.

quote:

ORIGINAL: ELUSIVE1

hey, where did the "then tells his wife after the relationship falls apart' thing come in?? I never-- nor will I ever contact his wife

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Profile   Post #: 126
RE: what would you do - 6/19/2007 7:06:53 PM   
TinkerHell


Posts: 36
Joined: 3/12/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

I think self-righteousness explains most of the loathsome things people do.  People will steal if they think they can get away with it, and will usually kill if they feel they have to--but self-righteousness is necessary for the really large-scale deadly stuff.  When people are convinced that they're right, head for cover.

 
Good point.   Mixed with Ignorance (as opposed to stupidity)... self righteousness can be pretty lethal.   

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"My land is bare of chattering folk; the clouds
are low along the ridges, and sweet's the air
with curling smoke from all my burning bridges." ~ Dorothy Parker

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Profile   Post #: 127
RE: what would you do - 6/19/2007 7:52:39 PM   
TinkerHell


Posts: 36
Joined: 3/12/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Stephann

Cough... Spanish Inquisition....hack... The Holocaust... cough... Ethnic Cleansing...

Pardon me, I must have had something stuck in my throat.

Stephan

 
Wow... those are certainly awful things.    Much, much  worse than feeling superior to a cheating spouse, and a home wrecker... thank you stephan for the input... I was thinking animal print leggings, Intelligent Design and white shoes after labor day.  
 
 
You  might want to try relaxing your throat... I hear that it helps keep things from sticking and cuts down on the gag reflex.
 
 

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"My land is bare of chattering folk; the clouds
are low along the ridges, and sweet's the air
with curling smoke from all my burning bridges." ~ Dorothy Parker

(in reply to Stephann)
Profile   Post #: 128
RE: what would you do - 6/22/2007 11:01:04 AM   
Supernatural


Posts: 26
Joined: 6/13/2007
Status: offline 		I agree with Viridana here. I will add ... in the very least his wife should have consented or it should have been a no go. However, I can see your delima with him having young childeren ... " ... what a tangled web we weave ...".

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(in reply to submissivepoet)
Profile   Post #: 129
RE: what would you do - 6/22/2007 11:43:54 AM   
Sub03


Posts: 600
Joined: 4/30/2005
Status: offline 		I hope you take the advice given here.

I must admit I was with someone that said he wasnt married in the beginning but we never went to his house, I didnt have any number except his cell number--needless to say I figured it out. Thats the shameful part, I kept seeing him and no im not proud of that fact but I learned my lesson. The point im trying to make though is that when people can cheat on their spouses and lie about it they can very easily lie about everything else. Now that I am away from that relationship I can see him for what he is, he never told the truth about anything and he will continue to cheat on his wife. I think thats the justification I used, if he wasnt cheating with me he would be with someone else so why not? Like I said im not proud of myself. But I fell for him saying how much he needed me, how much he liked and adored me. But really it was about sex and nothing else--he was lying to his wife and just using me. Unfortunetly it took me awhile to figure that out.

Guys that cheat on their wives are no good. As nice as they may seem when you are with them they are liars and cheats. They have no respect for a relationship between two people and will sleep with anyone. I am with my Master now and the married guy is still trying to get me to sleep with him. Needless to say I dont speak with him anymore, not that my Master would allow me too anyway. Anyway what im trying to say is that married guys that cheat are scum, and no matter how you justify it going along with them is wrong and dosent make you any better then them. I learned my lesson, hopefully you have learned yours and will ignore this guy in the future. As far as telling the wife and the other sub---well thats something your going to have to decide. I think the otehr girl deserves to know if she will listen. Personally I wouldnt tell the wife--it would just lead to her being hurt, and what are you going to say anyway. Hi im the girl thats sleeping with your husband? And yes I knew he was married?

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(in reply to Lordandmaster)
Profile   Post #: 130
RE: what would you do - 6/22/2007 12:09:45 PM   
FullfigRIMaam


Posts: 718
Joined: 6/21/2007
Status: offline 		I would stop a mistaken relationship once I recognized the error in continuing to conspire to hurt another woman;  I might tell girl #2 that this man is dishonest, and may be attached...  It would be up to her whether she wants to see him or not having a heads up beforehand.
Never run to tell the wife just because you're disillusioned with this man now.   I think the wife will find out once she starts paying attention to her husband, and will decide on her own what to do without the help of the woman who was doing her husband behind her back.    M

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(in reply to ELUSIVE1)
Profile   Post #: 131
RE: what would you do - 6/22/2007 5:06:57 PM   
daddysliloneds


Posts: 1351
Joined: 6/28/2006
Status: offline 		the sub driving five hours is not your responsibility, and why you have her e-mail addy i have no idea, unless of course he gave it to you and it's really an e-mail address for another false profile of his, and even if it really is her e-mail address, why you're assuming she's only driving five hours because she's looking for a long term relationship is also beyond me. hell, i've driven five hours before to spend time with casual play partners.

the funny thing about all this is, you don't even know for sure if you're not the one being lied to about the wife and family; how do you even know he has a wife and children?

those who go into anything knowing that they are the 'little secret', deserve everything they have coming to them; and we see where that got you...

i swear, there's a lot of stupid and selfish people running around!

(in reply to ELUSIVE1)
Profile   Post #: 132
RE: what would you do - 6/22/2007 5:29:51 PM   
Mystique567


Posts: 273
Joined: 6/11/2006
Status: offline 		I was going to put some quotes in here but really have no idea where to start.

I think that we are making a villian out of someone we know nothing about.

Do I condone cheating? No. Do I know of instances that it has happened and in some ways may be the only thing keeping their sanity together and them in a situation they can't get out of? Yes. I am not saying that this is the case, but can you truly say it is not? I think the correct quote here has something to do with walking a mile in his moccasins.


(in reply to daddysliloneds)
Profile   Post #: 133
RE: what would you do - 6/25/2007 12:59:49 PM   
YouKnowNotPain


Posts: 3
Joined: 11/28/2004
Status: offline 		If the guy is married and you are screwing him...guess what honey...you're a homewrecker. Whether his wife knows it or not. Unbelieveable.

(in reply to ELUSIVE1)
Profile   Post #: 134
RE: what would you do - 6/25/2007 1:55:59 PM   
jamiemartin


Posts: 1
Joined: 5/6/2007
Status: offline 		  My my. So many black and white provincial attitudes are on here. For all we actually know, the OP could be a home "saver", as in keeping a family and marriage together that would otherwise lead to divorce. Granted it doesn't sound that way, but we have absolutely zero information on the state of the man's marriage. I don't really approve of "cheating" either, but it's a simplistic view for a board filled with "alternative" viewpoints.

I must admit to some bias here. I'm married, generally unhappily. I care about my wife, but I don't believe I love her any more. We're together because she's sick and we have a child who needs raising, and neither one of us is really together enough to do it alone. I don't "cheat" although I want to and feel justified, as I've tried many times to explain things to my wife. She was never able to keep up with my sex drive, and she hasn't given me an orgasm in years, and it is from lack of trying. Now we only have sex when she wants to use me as the human dildo. Needless to say, I don't consider this much of a marriage. I was going to go into my situation in more detail, but that's enough to show that this crap idealistic view people seem to be posting from about the sanctity of marriage is ridiculous.

Back to the OP: I don't think the man should have tried to lie to the other sub. I agree with telling her before she gets in too deep. There are plenty of times when lies are acceptable, but that's not a good one.
I'm a bit offended at all the "honesty" people. I believe in honesty, I truly do, but I see lies around me all the time. The truth hurts, and people the world over lie to each other and themselves to feel better. I doubt a single one of you could stand to live in a truly honest world.

(in reply to YouKnowNotPain)
Profile   Post #: 135
RE: what would you do - 6/25/2007 2:20:21 PM   
HornyToadsMI


Posts: 287
Joined: 5/19/2007
Status: offline 		Hon, it is not you with the problem.  Move on....He is what we call "playing on the side".  Who says He wont do the same to you? 

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(in reply to ELUSIVE1)
Profile   Post #: 136
RE: what would you do - 6/25/2007 3:23:05 PM   
ELUSIVE1


Posts: 536
Joined: 9/11/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: jamiemartin

My my. So many black and white provincial attitudes are on here. For all we actually know, the OP could be a home "saver", as in keeping a family and marriage together that would otherwise lead to divorce. Granted it doesn't sound that way, but we have absolutely zero information on the state of the man's marriage. I don't really approve of "cheating" either, but it's a simplistic view for a board filled with "alternative" viewpoints.

I must admit to some bias here. I'm married, generally unhappily. I care about my wife, but I don't believe I love her any more. We're together because she's sick and we have a child who needs raising, and neither one of us is really together enough to do it alone. I don't "cheat" although I want to and feel justified, as I've tried many times to explain things to my wife. She was never able to keep up with my sex drive, and she hasn't given me an orgasm in years, and it is from lack of trying. Now we only have sex when she wants to use me as the human dildo. Needless to say, I don't consider this much of a marriage. I was going to go into my situation in more detail, but that's enough to show that this crap idealistic view people seem to be posting from about the sanctity of marriage is ridiculous.

Back to the OP: I don't think the man should have tried to lie to the other sub. I agree with telling her before she gets in too deep. There are plenty of times when lies are acceptable, but that's not a good one.
I'm a bit offended at all the "honesty" people. I believe in honesty, I truly do, but I see lies around me all the time. The truth hurts, and people the world over lie to each other and themselves to feel better. I doubt a single one of you could stand to live in a truly honest world.


Thank you...my point exactly--I stayed married to raise the kids..lots of people do...my issue was that he wasn't up front with the other girl, I knew he was a married cheater and only met him to have fun from time to time...with full knowledge that it would be nothing more than fun from time to time,no emotional investment on my part...yes I have stopped seeing him, and I do hope he is honest with the women he plays with, but ynk...


_____________________________

"Words have no power to impress the mind without the exquisite horror of their reality"

*Poe
http://alt.com/blog/ELUSIVE1NC
http://users.adultspace.com/ELUSIVE1NC/


(in reply to jamiemartin)
Profile   Post #: 137
RE: what would you do - 6/25/2007 3:24:14 PM   
ELUSIVE1


Posts: 536
Joined: 9/11/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HornyToadsMI

Hon, it is not you with the problem.  Move on....He is what we call "playing on the side".  Who says He wont do the same to you? 
Very true-- and would just be karmic balance---but he is history...

_____________________________

"Words have no power to impress the mind without the exquisite horror of their reality"

*Poe
http://alt.com/blog/ELUSIVE1NC
http://users.adultspace.com/ELUSIVE1NC/


(in reply to HornyToadsMI)
Profile   Post #: 138
RE: what would you do - 6/26/2007 8:14:54 PM   
SPOILEDOMINA


Posts: 16
Joined: 3/31/2007
Status: offline

Married men are great submissive if you don't treat it like a relationship. That's the main problem with lifestyle activity where both parties aren't single or allowed by their partners to engage in the lifestyle. It's a waste of time and energy to engage in any "activity" when this is the case. The only option for people who are unavailable due to their personal lives is to lie and really cheat or go to a pro and take the relationship part of cheating out of .... cheating. So in the end what kind of betrayal would the wife or husband, girlfriend or boyfriend be subject too. Betrayal of the heart, the mind, or the body? Relationships reside in the heart, fantasies reside in the mind, and sexuality resides in both the mind and body. I'm not particularly fond of sitting high on a tower of any kind of morality other then my own least I feel the sting of a long tumble downward. Inevitably we are all hypocrites to all our adopted dogmas. There's only one pure truth I've found in this "scene" and it's POWER. The exchange of power , the control of power, the fulfillment, the thrill, the ego, the rush .Taking control and giving control. The key is to recognize it for what it is and that' s not an easy thing. We have power and others have power over us, in every facet of every day of our lives. It's amazing how many ways we blind ourselves or can't recognize for ourselves how others try to control us. Try to take our power. How we give our power to others. Sometimes willingly sometimes unwillingly. This man who wanted to lie to his wife, lie to his new lifestyle partner and then have ELUSIVE1 lie for him was taking power. Or at least trying to take more. He had his fantasies fulfilled with ELUSIVE1 and wanted more and didn't care that it wasn't what she wanted. Just like he didn't care it wasn't what his wife wanted. Bad or good right or wrong in the end it would have been a waste of time and energy to see him again unless it was what she wanted. Personally I have no use for subs who try to take my power, my control. Who as they say, "top from the bottom".

(in reply to submissivepoet)
Profile   Post #: 139
RE: what would you do - 6/26/2007 8:22:21 PM   
wwwkevinww


Posts: 276
Joined: 7/15/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GeekyGirl

Um, he's willing to cheat on his wife and yet you somehow thought he was an "on the level" kind of guy???
Open your eyes, honey. The man is a cheater with no honor...nothing should really suprise you about him.





lol I read your first sentence as cheaters don't have honor ;/ 

(in reply to GeekyGirl)
Profile   Post #: 140
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