From friend to master, what did I do wrong?

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From friend to master, what did I do wrong? - 6/5/2005 12:54:39 PM

Omnin

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Joined: 5/16/2005
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I am sort of new to this so I may be feeling something that is normal and I just don't understand it but here goes.

I am going to simplify this a lot since in order to do details it's like 3 pages long.

I have a close friend who recently became my master. She was at one point helping me to explore my feelings about being a slave and spent a lot of time working with me and talking to me and asking how I felt, it was always how do you feel about this, or that. We spoke every day about it and she ran me through some exercises if you will.

Well she made it clear in the beginning I would never be her slave since we were such good friends. So I looked for another master, which she suggested would be a good idea. When I started talking to some though she got very possessive and jealous and demanded that I stop talking to them and serve her and her alone. I agreed and she pronounced me her slave and made me acknowledge her ownership of me as my master.

Now here is the problem, Since that time she has virtually cut herself off from me. She wont take my calls, wont answer emails. She has cut off every form of communication I had with her, and since I was originally a friend, I had a lot.

She calls once in a blue moon to demand I acknowledge she is still my master and that I am still her slave and then hangs up again. The only instructions she has ever given me since she became my master were, never to try to contact her, and that I could never look for another master until she released me from my service. But there is no service, other than a strange phone call every couple of weeks from some angry person she has no influence on my life what so ever. I had a ton more contact with her when we were just friends, now that she owns me there is nothing.

What good is being a slave if your master makes absolutely no use of you? Sets no rules or guild lines? Has no expectations? Wont even talk to you?

Is this some kind of odd reaction to her seeing me as a good friend and not being able to treat me as a slave? Could she be really struggling with this and can't tell me? She has been a dom and has trained slaves before I figured this would be easy for her, she told me once though that she would never be able to do the things she did to her slaves to me. Could she be in some kind of emotional trauma from this?

I tried twice to talk to her about it and even suggested we end our master slave relationship but she got furious and just reinforced her ownership of me and asserted that she is keeping me. So she must really want this? Or am I mistaken?

What can I do for my master to help her? I am not even sure what is wrong with her to even begin, I feel like all I can do is wait for her to come to me and talk. But the longer I sit here with no contact the less I feel like I am hers. Does that make sense?

thank you in advance for any insight,

-A very confused slave.

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RE: From friend to master, what did I do wrong? - 6/5/2005 1:10:16 PM

darkinshadows

Posts: 4145
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From: UK
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OK.... taking a view on this that she may be using this as a form of training, but to be honest - it doesn't sound like that. From what you have said, I would surmise that she wants you for herself, but isn't willing to take responsibility and if thats fine by you, then go with it - but it obviously isn't because it sounds as if you are crying out for training and guidence.

My advice would be to walk away - and as hard as it may be to do - leave the freidnship behind as well because by the sounds of her reactions already, she may prove difficult when the time comes for you to belong to someone.

A domiannt worth their salt will not hold you back, but will help and teach you to blossom.

Peace and Love

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RE: From friend to master, what did I do wrong? - 6/5/2005 1:59:59 PM

Estring

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It sounds like she is playing major head games with you for some reason. Maybe you calling "her" Master drove her over the edge. Time to move on.

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RE: From friend to master, what did I do wrong? - 6/5/2005 2:35:08 PM

EmeraldSlave2

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Yeah I think she just likes the idea of having "a slave" to take off the shelf/out of the closet when it's most convenient for her.

And IF this fulfilled you, then I'd say go for it.

your mistake? Agreeing to be someone's slave without understanding what your expectations would be, what the responsibilities would entail, and not doing it because it felt best for YOU- instead you did it because you didn't feel you could say "no."

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RE: From friend to master, what did I do wrong? - 6/6/2005 9:56:15 PM

harmony3709

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Joined: 11/15/2004
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I have been instructed that there is nothing I cannot talk to my Master about and in fact am not allowed to keep my concerns and problems from him, especially concerning our relationship. Personally, I view the fact that you went to her to discuss your concerns and needs and were shut out as a serious problem all by itself. Now add in the rest of your concerns and I think you probably already know the answer.

I would agree with Angel on this one and walk away, as hard as that may be.

Blessed be,
harmony

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RE: From friend to master, what did I do wrong? - 6/7/2005 4:47:35 AM

kisshou

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How recently did she become your Master?

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RE: From friend to master, what did I do wrong? - 6/9/2005 7:23:29 AM

Omnin

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I am sorry I spent some time away from the forum.

To answer some questions, she became my master just over 5 weeks ago.

Also to add some information, this situation is now over. I forced contact with her and she exploded on me. Told me she would never take a slave who was so needy and ended our relationship, and unfortunately our friendship has gone with it.

Once she started rolling she would not give me a chance to say anything.

I fail to see how wanting to interact with my master is being needy. What is the point of being a slave if your master is just a distant person who never even speaks to you? If you have have that proper heart where you desire to serve your master such a relationship is just emotional torment.

I did some quiet poking around and I have learned from some friends of hers that she is very sick. I can't get the specifics of what they mean but they suggested I leave her alone because of just how sick she is. It has appearently landed her in the hospital twice now. I have no idea if this is a valid reason for her behaivor or not, all I know is this went bad from the start, and now it's over.

sigh.

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RE: From friend to master, what did I do wrong? - 6/9/2005 11:02:57 AM

kisshou

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Omnin,

I feel really bad that you were hurt and are still left with so many unanswered questions. Having a relationship fail is so painful and it is hard not to cross the line from learning from it to beating yourself up over it.

The problem with this relationship is that neither of you had clear expectations. The important thing is that next time before you beg collar (enter into a M/s relationship) you spend alot more time communicating. That is alot harder to do than it sounds when you are so caught up in those deep feelings the Dominant brings out in you , everything you envision can be coloured in that rosy glow.

So use this experience and grow from it.

my best wishes to you

kisshou

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RE: From friend to master, what did I do wrong? - 6/10/2005 7:56:42 AM

ProtagonistLily

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Why isn't she your Mistress? Why are you addressing her as "Master"?

L

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RE: From friend to master, what did I do wrong? - 6/29/2005 8:41:57 AM

Hissweetshiv

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I'm sorry you were hurt but i can't help but be glad you got out of the relationship. It was unhealthy to say the least if it was "needy" for you to contact her, let alone tell her how you were feeling. I, too, am under orders to share ALL my feelings with Master, especially feelings about O/our relationship. I was collared to another Man before, and due to schedule considerations that were beyond both of U/us to fix, i asked for my release since i needed more contact. He released me without argument and W/we remained friends for some time after. Take your time and discuss your needs and His/Hers before entering another M/s relationship... be sure that both of Y/you will be happy and fulfilled before taking another collar. I wish you good luck and much happiness.
be well and be safe
~shiv

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RE: From friend to master, what did I do wrong? - 6/29/2005 9:24:52 AM

flirt

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my opinion only, your former friend is not worthy of being called "Master" by you or anyone. Don't let this experience cloud your perception of what this lifestyle is really about. Move on, don't forget, but don't go back.

flirt

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RE: From friend to master, what did I do wrong? - 6/29/2005 9:50:24 AM

perverseangelic

Posts: 2625
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From: Davis, Ca
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ProtagonistLily

Why isn't she your Mistress? Why are you addressing her as "Master"?

L

Not the OP, but I know where I a dominant I'd probably go by anything -but- mistress, up to an including master.

Maybe she just doesn't like the term.

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