A Serious Question

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

A Serious Question

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> A Serious Question

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

A Serious Question - 6/19/2007 3:57:53 AM

sub7boy

Posts: 9
Joined: 5/15/2007
Status: offline

Would anyone here like to be so bold as to share any aspect of their life experience, which they feel has helped to shape them as a female domme?

Profile

Post #: 1

RE: A Serious Question - 6/19/2007 4:26:49 AM

LadyEllen

Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline

HRT

E

_____________________________

In a test against the leading brand, 9 out of 10 participants couldnt tell the difference. Dumbasses.

(in reply to sub7boy)

Profile

Post #: 2

RE: A Serious Question - 6/19/2007 6:04:08 AM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

I hope this is not a common experience.

My childhood was a huge factor. I am a childhood abuse survivor.

Even though I was programmed to be submissive it just didn't click with my innate personality. It did teach me a good deal of empathy though and I have a strong protector/teacher streak.

I think both of these helped me turned what are innate needs to dominate and feel sadistic into more healthy desires.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to sub7boy)

Profile

Post #: 3

RE: A Serious Question - 6/19/2007 6:12:08 AM

earthycouple

Posts: 4462
Joined: 2/19/2006
Status: offline

Finally taking control of my own life. I lived my life as a victim from the time I was about 2 until I turned about 25. Sometimes I was a victim and sometimes I just felt like a victim. I chose to channel and redistribute and grow into who I am today....in control of me and well aware I can do little else to control others (Robert (or any sub/slave), I know, chooses to be controlled and should he choose not to, then there is nothing I can do about that.)

This awakening was a realization that saved my life and helped my dominance grow.

_____________________________

D~

Seeking, searching, hoping, living, loving, jumping. So what's new with you?

(in reply to thetammyjo)

Profile

Post #: 4

RE: A Serious Question - 6/19/2007 9:26:48 AM

MHOO314

Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline

It simply is what I am.

_____________________________

SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor

(in reply to sub7boy)

Profile

Post #: 5

RE: A Serious Question - 6/19/2007 10:42:51 AM

MaamJay

Posts: 2101
Joined: 9/2/2005
Status: offline

I am a Teacher through and through, by desire and by profession ... and it is that which has most influenced My style as a Domme.

Maam Jay
(My God, that must be My shortest ever post!!)

_____________________________

Life is a song ... and I love singing it! (By me!)

(in reply to MHOO314)

Profile

Post #: 6

RE: A Serious Question - 6/19/2007 7:00:03 PM

zavalfuin

Posts: 15
Joined: 5/14/2007
Status: offline

A Pair of Shoes

Socialized to be a good girl, I performed well until I began to rebel and became deeply entrenched in radical feminism cum pseudo Buddhism (you know--the kind for lazy traveling folk *smile*). Eschewing beauty in feminine form, I conformed to another set of values in yet more attempts to mask my *other* more dominant tendencies.

Until one day, a very vegan, very unshaven, very unkempt, and not a little bit bitter, me met a breezy cool Kiwi chick who took me shopping one day and convinced me to "break out" and buy a pair of far too expensive Betty Bui high heels. I have no idea why I bought those shoes, or why they began to change my life, but everything after that was a series of small cataclysmic moments that led to a final moment of understanding.

I still have those shoes--get them resoled every year...

(in reply to MaamJay)

Profile

Post #: 7

RE: A Serious Question - 6/19/2007 8:12:59 PM

Smythe

Posts: 369
Joined: 12/31/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sub7boy

Would anyone here like to be so bold as to share any aspect of their life experience, which they feel has helped to shape them as a female domme?

All the wonderful women who went before me: The mean stepmother in Cinderella, The Wicked Witch of the West, Cruella DeVille, role models all. (I started early)

Smythe

_____________________________

Do not consider painful what is good for you.
Euripides

(in reply to sub7boy)

Profile

Post #: 8

RE: A Serious Question - 6/19/2007 8:18:25 PM

LadyHeart

Posts: 561
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

It is part of my personality.

However, on a more practical level, I had the great good fortune to encounter a truly inspirational pro Domme whom I had the priviledge of watching in action. It opened both my eyes and my mind.

:))
LH

_____________________________

"BDSM is not an excuse for bad manners."

(in reply to Smythe)

Profile

Post #: 9

RE: A Serious Question - 6/20/2007 4:17:20 AM

MstrssPassion

Posts: 2444
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: West Palm Beach, FL
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyEllen

HRT

E

_____________________________

MstrssPassion

(in reply to LadyEllen)

Profile

Post #: 10

RE: A Serious Question - 6/20/2007 4:54:25 AM

LadyEllen

Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrssPassion

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyEllen

HRT

E

I was waiting for someone to pick up on that! Trust it to be you!

Seriously though, I think HRT may have had a lot to do with it; prior to my change the thought of males did nothing for me (quite the opposite), but I'm now more flexible, shall we say?

E

_____________________________

In a test against the leading brand, 9 out of 10 participants couldnt tell the difference. Dumbasses.

(in reply to MstrssPassion)

Profile

Post #: 11

RE: A Serious Question - 6/20/2007 5:09:00 AM

MstrssPassion

Posts: 2444
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: West Palm Beach, FL
Status: offline

but following the theme

if HRT had not been introduced would you be posting on the "ask a master board"?

( I have my suspicions but I wait for your response)

_____________________________

MstrssPassion

(in reply to LadyEllen)

Profile

Post #: 12

RE: A Serious Question - 6/20/2007 5:17:27 AM

LadyEllen

Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrssPassion

but following the theme

if HRT had not been introduced would you be posting on the "ask a master board"?

( I have my suspicions but I wait for your response)

No. I expect in line with your suspicions, I'd have one of those nice light blue profile IDs on the other side. I think there's more to it than just the HRT - I think its also a lot to do with me being able to become myself and show it, but I dont want to get into one of those "subs lack self confidence" debates. Suffice to say, I'm a lot more confident about myself and my relation to the world now than ever I was before, and who I am is someone who likes to light the fireworks rather than just watch them.

E

_____________________________

In a test against the leading brand, 9 out of 10 participants couldnt tell the difference. Dumbasses.

(in reply to MstrssPassion)

Profile

Post #: 13

RE: A Serious Question - 6/20/2007 5:31:17 AM

MstrssPassion

Posts: 2444
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: West Palm Beach, FL
Status: offline

exactly as I suspected

oh & I agree with the "debate"

I have known more than one transperson who presented very dominant tendencies & once transitioned they finally found comfort & peace with expressing their submissive soul... it can & does go both ways.

The point is, when one is not a peace with self... they hinder their ability to express their natural self.

< Message edited by MstrssPassion -- 6/20/2007 5:34:52 AM >

_____________________________

MstrssPassion

(in reply to LadyEllen)

Profile

Post #: 14

RE: A Serious Question - 6/20/2007 8:44:33 AM

MistressMelissa

Posts: 226
Joined: 11/21/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sub7boy

Would anyone here like to be so bold as to share any aspect of their life experience, which they feel has helped to shape them as a female domme?

Military, at a young age I learned what it meant to lead others. That there was a difference between being a leader and being someone's "bud". Leadership is about inspiring others, not about being likable. I'd rather be respected than liked.

Structure, ritual and pride in a job well done. The understanding that there is a right and a wrong way to do things. That there are sometimes very good reasons why we do things in a specific way. Whether I'm working in a nuclear power plant, conventional power plant, managing a kitchen or operating my semi, when I make a mistake someone will get sick, hurt or killed. I can not turn that off when I go home. The structure is part of me and permeates all of my life. Thus the people I surround myself with must also appreciate structure, order and self discipline. That's something to consider when your your jewel's are resting in someones palm as you twist in your restraints.

I spent a few years in therapy coupled with a good dose of self exploration. I know who and what I am. I understand that if I compromise who I am, I am not happy. I've accepted that I would rather live alone that compromise. That gives me an edge. People serve me because they want too. I've built my reality, whether others chose to share in that reality is up to them. They come to me because I am the rock and not the shifting sand bar. Little one's seek structure, control and ritual. They like a steady and predicable environment where they understand what is expected of them. Because I understand myself, I provide that.

It's life's experiences that make us who we are. From the major to the minor, it all contributes to mold and shape us into who and what we are.

_____________________________

Melissa
Mistress of Ds Haven
www.dshaven.com

The person who says it can not be done, should not interrupt the person doing it. - Ancient Wisdom

(in reply to sub7boy)

Profile

Post #: 15

RE: A Serious Question - 6/20/2007 3:43:57 PM

SDFemDom4cuck

Posts: 2809
Joined: 5/23/2005
From: P'burgh PA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyEllen

HRT

E

E...now that I've cleaned the Diet Pepsi from my monitor...

Could you maybe post a little warning before you do something like that. Not to hijack but how was the opening?

To the OP....I was born. More seriously...I was raised to believe that I could do anything, achieve anything, be anything that I set my mind to do. By my father moreso than by my mother. While my friends were going to college to get their MRS. (ie meet a husband) I was encouraged to learn and grow without letting my gender become a fence that held me within a certain expected societal notion of who and what I was to become.

_____________________________

Ms Jo

She dealt her pretty words like Blades -
How glittering they shone -
And every One unbared a Nerve
Or wantoned with a Bone -

I want a sensitive man - one who'll cry when I hit him.

(in reply to LadyEllen)

Profile

Post #: 16

RE: A Serious Question - 6/21/2007 1:03:09 AM

MistressRouge

Posts: 876
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Birmingham West Midlands UK
Status: offline

Having a younger brother & siblings, and perfecting the art of manipulation.

_____________________________

My Members Site.
http://mistressrougeuk.c4slive.com/

http://www.clips4sale.com/store/13392

(in reply to sub7boy)

Profile

Post #: 17

RE: A Serious Question - 6/21/2007 1:20:08 AM

canupleaseme

Posts: 775
Joined: 7/9/2006
Status: offline

I think for me bit of it was to do with being in an abusive relationship for ten years and knowing the whole time I was worth so much more was the start of it and then the main bit was having my daughter. I'm not sure why but that made me feel very dominant and in charge and protective etc it also made me realise my value as a woman and a person. I also loved tying things up when I was younger and tickling people loads till they couldnt take it. I reakon the insticnt has always been there it just took me a while to find it

_____________________________

Proud mistress

(in reply to MistressRouge)

Profile

Post #: 18

RE: A Serious Question - 7/6/2007 10:42:52 AM

MistressStiletto

Posts: 46
Joined: 7/6/2007
Status: offline

Being the oldest in My family with My parents leaving Me at home much of the time helped instill My desire for control, insofar as I was able to say "This is the game, and if you don't want to play, bugger off." Later in life, as I was discovering this Lifestyle, I was able to learn a lot from a friend who had been a ProDomme for some time. she was actually submissive in her personal life, but I learned technique and protocol from her, and am ever grateful for her time.
Once I had been on My own for a bit, and got Myself in a situation with minimal drama and maximum balance I was able to develop into the sort of Lady who can not only control others, but also take responsibility for them on the 24/7 scale. Now I can't imagine it any other way.

(in reply to canupleaseme)

Profile

Post #: 19

RE: A Serious Question - 7/6/2007 11:03:28 AM

ocilla

Posts: 1764
Joined: 6/12/2007
Status: offline

Being raised by a hardcore feminist is a primary factor. Plus the women on both sides of my family were dominant - have yet to uncover one that did not call the shots so to speak. One thing I distinctly remember from therapy is the therapist concluding only half jokingly that my mother got married and had children so she could be the center of her own universe. Lucky for me, she did get into the women's movement and so made a special point of encouraging me to be powerful and strong. For my brothers it was all about training them to serve. My given name ends in an "ie" - at some point Mom decided that the "ie" was too much of a diminiative and so had my name legally changed. And she and my father will have been happily married for 50 years come October. He waits on her hand and foot btw.

< Message edited by ocilla -- 7/6/2007 11:07:57 AM >

_____________________________

Ocilla

Nature is not a place to visit. It is home.
~ Gary Snyder

It takes a kinky village...

(in reply to MistressStiletto)

Profile

Post #: 20