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Diplomacy in Dominating - 6/19/2007 10:38:01 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Ok, We had the thread on the 'bitch goddess' side of things.  Now a look at the other side.
 
From several of the other threads lately, I've noticed a lot of heated debate which is often focused on the strong feelings and influences that We all have.  This is a good thing, as it opens greater means of communication.  We'd be hard pressed to think that all discussions are going to be full of peace and light, with all of Us agreeing on everything.  We'd be a sad, boring bunch of people if We did, wouldn't We?
 
My question is this......  Has diplomacy fallen by the wayside in the internet experience?  Of course, there are prime examples to which My attention could be called who never slip into this catagory.  Lady Hugs springs immediately to mind.  MsKat always uses Her wit and charm to placate any audience.  Lady Ellen often brings much needed comic relief.  However, are these fine examples, and others I could mention, the exception, rather than the norm?  Have We allowed diplomacy, control, and tact to evade our CM experience?
 
Just a thought for pondering.  And remember..... if you're going to flame, at least have the courtesy to bring the marshmellows! 
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Diplomacy in Dominating - 6/19/2007 11:03:01 AM   
Politesub53


Posts: 14862
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		I think misunderstandings are an internet thing in general. Most of us often get hung up on a word, or a prior post. Not just here though, i see it on most forums and chat rooms. i think that while there is a great deal of heated debate here, there isnt much out and out rudesness, given the volume of posts made. Thats one thing we can all be thankfull for.
i am admin on a sports forum and the cussing directed between posters is far greater on there than here.

Edited twice until i was understanding how to spell understanding


< Message edited by Politesub53 -- 6/19/2007 11:04:51 AM >

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Diplomacy in Dominating - 6/19/2007 11:21:00 AM   
LadyEllen


Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline 		Wow, well. Thanks for the compliment Lady Pact. I do try to be a bitch from time to time, but I'm still learning you know!?

I think I'd agree with Politesub to an extent - that often there are misunderstandings due to the difficulties of the medium. Its nice to see that often when this happens, those involved do say sorry for it though, and I personally find that admirable.

But there do arise from time to time, instances where diplomacy, control and tact have been lost, and the only misunderstanding is that of obervers who look on in disbelief. Despite your glowing appraisal, I myself have fallen prey to it, albeit inadvertently it was still a stupid thing to have posted in the instance I'm thinking of.

All in all though, I've found that those who come here to be offensive generally get pretty short shrift from most, and leave.

E

_____________________________

In a test against the leading brand, 9 out of 10 participants couldnt tell the difference. Dumbasses.

(in reply to Politesub53)
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RE: Diplomacy in Dominating - 6/19/2007 11:24:39 AM   
slaveboyforyou


Posts: 3607
Joined: 1/6/2005
From: Arkansas, U.S.A.
Status: offline 		No one has been exceptionally rude to me here.  I don't tend to find myself getting into heated debates in the lifestyle related sections of the forums.  I don't really see the need to argue over semantics and kink preferences.  We all have differences in what we like, and we all have our own way of relating.  I honestly wish everyone here the best, and I hope they find happiness in what they seek.  As long as you are not promoting the drowning of puppies and the like, I won't pour salt in your game. 

In the off topic discussions, I am a lot more opinionated.  I don't think there is any need for rudeness in any discussion.  But opinions on politics, society, etc. are going to illicit emotion and stronger opinions.

(in reply to Politesub53)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Diplomacy in Dominating - 6/19/2007 11:42:27 AM   
MsKatHouston


Posts: 1909
Joined: 6/7/2006
From: Houston, TX
Status: offline 		Honestly I think lack of diplomacy is the exception not the rule.  When I look at all the regular posters, I see a lot of different styles.  Most have some experience and valuable information to share.  Some are serious, some are witty, some are tactful and some are very blunt.  But it is rare that there are downright consistently rude posters.  I can only think of a few who regularly post. 

Everyone has their moments for whatever reason.  I think sometimes things do get misconstrued because the medium is such we can not see inflection, gestures and expressions.  If I am having a bad day I know I can tend to be more blunt, even snippy and also tend to take things more sensitively than I normally would. 

I also think it is much easier to get drawn into the petty arguments via the Internet than we would when in a discussion in person.  It is easier to start them and easier to get in on the train wreck. 

What I find a shame is the people who do consistently post in a harsh, rude manner but if you snip all the posturing away, they actually are making a point.  Whether you agree with that point or not, it is still valid except the meat of the point is completely lost in the delivery. 

[begin flame] This is a stupid post.  Bitch. [/end flame]

*gets out marshmallows, graham crackers and chocolate*

(I like the post, but I was craving s'mores...)

_____________________________

-Kat

~If you can't be a good example, you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning~

(in reply to slaveboyforyou)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Diplomacy in Dominating - 6/19/2007 11:42:42 AM   
MHOO314


Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline 		I DO believe that diplomacy and social graces seldom exist on the internet--people seem to feel that because they hide behind the "veil of glass" they can say anything, be anything and do anything"---I used to ask the boys who petitioned Me with pics of their cocks, if I was walking down the street, would you unzip take it out and say hey babe---if I was in a restaurant would you keep running up and saying hi ping hi ping hi ping hi ping ?? Would you walk up to Me and hang out your tongue and say baby you need this??
 
The same goes with sprirted discourse, I don't flame, well unless someone is a complete idiot--I try to really maintain courtesies----
 
 

< Message edited by MHOO314 -- 6/19/2007 12:13:26 PM >

_____________________________

SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor


(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Diplomacy in Dominating - 6/19/2007 11:46:35 AM   
NoirUMC


Posts: 132
Joined: 4/17/2007
Status: offline 		I have a neat little blanket I hide behind.

_____________________________

-J

Working around the clock to find new and entertaining misspellings

(in reply to MHOO314)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Diplomacy in Dominating - 6/19/2007 12:08:56 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		You have Me laughing so hard, I'm hijacking My own thread!
 
Pass the smores!  And I know you say bitch in the most loving fashion.
 
We all get caught up in the occassional train wreck.  I'm certainly no exception.  Catch My posts on the 'cheating without knowledge' discussions, and I suit that name, which was ever so lovingly given.  I'm not kind about it, as I don't find it is kind to cause harm to those who don't deserve it.
 
Lady Ellen raises a good point.  When We are less than diplomatic, do We apologize?  Not necessarily for Our position, but perhaps the way it was presented?

(in reply to NoirUMC)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Diplomacy in Dominating - 6/19/2007 12:15:09 PM   
MHOO314


Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline 		I do apologize, if I come across as rude, mean or I am tardy in responding.

_____________________________

SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor


(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Diplomacy in Dominating - 6/19/2007 12:21:09 PM   
MsKatHouston


Posts: 1909
Joined: 6/7/2006
From: Houston, TX
Status: offline 		Only the most deserving of wonderful women would be called a bitch by me.  Of course it's loving ;)  Those I dislike I have other words for lol

Re apologizing, I do sometimes if I feel it was really taken offensively as it was not my intention to offend.  But I will also try to take the opportunity to clarify in a much more diplomatic fashion.



_____________________________

-Kat

~If you can't be a good example, you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning~

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Diplomacy in Dominating - 6/19/2007 12:28:03 PM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline 		I think it is very difficult to communicate online. The telephon is difficult too though there you do have tone of voice.

Face-to-face can also result in miscommunication.

Basically I'm saying that if someone tries to communicate, I try to cut them slack and figure out what they are trying to say. Goddess knows I need that same understanding.

Someone using vulgarities or slang or insults though, I figure they either don't deserve any attention from me or minor attention. Sometimes though I don't exercise the best control and I just snap back.

You all know I can misunderstand someone and get snippy too.

I can try and remind myself to base what I say on what I know and have experienced and try not to let this online stuff take on more value in my life than it deserves.

I'm not saying any of you do not have value merely that I have to guard myself from getting too attached to anything online cause I spin off into major pissiness if I do.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Diplomacy in Dominating - 6/19/2007 12:31:28 PM   
slaveboyforyou


Posts: 3607
Joined: 1/6/2005
From: Arkansas, U.S.A.
Status: offline 		It might be a good idea to have a specific thread for flaming and insults.  You could just have a free for all insult-a-thon, with a warning to enter at your risk.  Let everyone that feels the need to do so,  insult away and get it out of their system.

< Message edited by slaveboyforyou -- 6/19/2007 12:32:43 PM >

(in reply to MsKatHouston)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Diplomacy in Dominating - 6/19/2007 12:33:26 PM   
MsKatHouston


Posts: 1909
Joined: 6/7/2006
From: Houston, TX
Status: offline 		I used to co own a forum, non kink related, that had a section of the forums that was completely unmoderated.  A warning that anything goes, etc.  It got rather interesting in there. 

_____________________________

-Kat

~If you can't be a good example, you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning~

(in reply to slaveboyforyou)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Diplomacy in Dominating - 6/19/2007 12:41:53 PM   
Politesub53


Posts: 14862
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		Hi MsKatHouston, i used a forum that tried that. The moderators closed it after being abused all of the first week....... LOL



(in reply to MsKatHouston)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Diplomacy in Dominating - 6/19/2007 12:44:05 PM   
MsKatHouston


Posts: 1909
Joined: 6/7/2006
From: Houston, TX
Status: offline 		LOL ours was up for several years...abuse there was the point of it ;)

[/end hijack...continues with the smores]

_____________________________

-Kat

~If you can't be a good example, you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning~

(in reply to Politesub53)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Diplomacy in Dominating - 6/19/2007 12:46:24 PM   
Politesub53


Posts: 14862
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		The Moderators had the same idea Maam...... They just hated being the target

(in reply to MsKatHouston)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Diplomacy in Dominating - 6/19/2007 1:26:49 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Actually, slaveboyforyou, doesn't benji have that complaint thread down in the polls and random stupidity section?  The first time I saw it, I laughed.  After thinking about it, I realized what a good idea it was.  Not so much an insult - a - thon, as I think that might be against TOS, but it's a good spot to throw the occassional comment.
 
Tammyjo, you definitely hit in on one thing.  The insults, etc. are often observed, and tend to lead Me to discount any point that might have been signifigant.
 
I did forget to mention in the OP that, of course, everyone is welcome to mention their thoughts.  (I know of one submissive in particular who refrains from adding unless the question is posed to all.)  Just because this is the "Ask A Mistress" forum, doesn't mean that each of us can't see a little of this in ourselves.
 
Don't forget, We have smores.


Edited before anyone complained about the way I spelled complaint.

< Message edited by LadyPact -- 6/19/2007 1:28:31 PM >

(in reply to Politesub53)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Diplomacy in Dominating - 6/19/2007 2:44:08 PM   
undergroundsea


Posts: 2400
Joined: 6/27/2004
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
Lady Hugs springs immediately to mind.  MsKat always uses Her wit and charm to placate any audience.  Lady Ellen often brings much needed comic relief.  However, are these fine examples, and others I could mention, the exception, rather than the norm?  Have We allowed diplomacy, control, and tact to evade our CM experience?


To state the obvious, your name belongs amidst those above of dommes who uphold elegant conduct.

Cheers,

Sea

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Diplomacy in Dominating - 6/19/2007 4:14:28 PM   
SDFemDom4cuck


Posts: 2809
Joined: 5/23/2005
From: P'burgh PA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

You have Me laughing so hard, I'm hijacking My own thread!
 
Pass the smores!  And I know you say bitch in the most loving fashion.
 
We all get caught up in the occassional train wreck.  I'm certainly no exception.  Catch My posts on the 'cheating without knowledge' discussions, and I suit that name, which was ever so lovingly given.  I'm not kind about it, as I don't find it is kind to cause harm to those who don't deserve it.
 
Lady Ellen raises a good point.  When We are less than diplomatic, do We apologize?  Not necessarily for Our position, but perhaps the way it was presented?


I try not to reply heatedly. Many times I've had to walk away from the infernal box in order to keep from doing so. I think I can count on one hand the number of times I've been outright rude to someone. While I have never apologized for my opinion, or the stating of my opinion. I have apolgized for the manner in which that opinion has been conveyed both privately and publicly.

Unfortunately I tend to speak/write very formally. It is the way I was raised and something that I cannot really change. Although it tends to come in handy during Evil HeadMistress/naughty student games. LOL  I've been messaged on several occasions regarding my "elitist" attitude  rather than being asked for a clarification of intent. So I've been accused of being undiplomatic far more often than I've actually been undiplomatic.


S'mores....mmmm *drool*  Must.Resist.Chocolate. auuughh.

Edited because in my battle over chocolate I was unable to spell chocolate. I think it's the devil in disguise. Seriously, think about it. Chocolate may just possibly be the root of all evil. Ok, maybe it is just in my little corner of the world.



< Message edited by SDFemDom4cuck -- 6/19/2007 4:16:19 PM >

_____________________________

Ms Jo

She dealt her pretty words like Blades -
How glittering they shone -
And every One unbared a Nerve
Or wantoned with a Bone -

I want a sensitive man - one who'll cry when I hit him.

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Diplomacy in Dominating - 6/19/2007 4:19:26 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: undergroundsea

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
Lady Hugs springs immediately to mind.  MsKat always uses Her wit and charm to placate any audience.  Lady Ellen often brings much needed comic relief.  However, are these fine examples, and others I could mention, the exception, rather than the norm?  Have We allowed diplomacy, control, and tact to evade our CM experience?


To state the obvious, your name belongs amidst those above of dommes who uphold elegant conduct.

Cheers,

Sea


My Dear sea, you honor Me entirely too much.  My thanks.

(in reply to undergroundsea)
Profile   Post #: 20
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