RE: Are you prepared to lay down the Law or not.

RE: Are you prepared to lay down the Law or not. (Full Version)

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Domspaintoy -> RE: Are you prepared to lay down the Law or not. (6/19/2007 3:23:38 PM)
Yep, my Master had a full set of rules and creeds all ready and waiting for me the minute i consented to being His slave, then proceeded to do very rude and naughty things to me whilst i read them out loud smirk Dpt [:D]

WhiplashSmile -> RE: Are you prepared to lay down the Law or not. (6/19/2007 3:25:31 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: tricia I've said on another thread that i have only one rule - obey. This being said, i'm not sure a generic set of rules drawn up before a relationship even occurs could work. At least not for me. Shouldn't a list of any kind be tailored to fit your own unique relationship? Having to reference a contract agreement or a rule listed on a piece of paper would negate our dynamic, i think. I believe in this too, hence where I expressed a set of rules created a head of time that can be modified. I do believe in make adjustments to these things specific to a relationship. However, it gives somebody else a basic set of things I expect without pulling out any suprise expectations. Some things, such as reading instructions on a pie box, I just assume would happen. You know common sense kind of things. People wonder why there are so many warning labels on shit these days, it's because not enough people use common sense at times. LOL. Needless to say I'm big on RTFM (read the fucking manual) or RTFI (read the fucking instructions). In my last two relationships, I have had to slow them down and have them read shit. Even when shopping for food. Makes a big difference between Pepsi and Diet Pepsi sitting in the fridge! Yuck, I hate Diet Pepsi! So, I'm a stickler for wanting somebody to stop and take a few more seconds to read labels, instructions, and warnings. It makes life a lot easier in the end. I had to Edit this one. At times it bothers me calling somebody from past a label. It bothers me at times refering to somebody that was an important part of my past as mere title. Yes, it might get my point across at times to you guys. It just feels a little wrong dirty and cold of me to refer to them as such.

Cloudz -> RE: Are you prepared to lay down the Law or not. (6/19/2007 3:32:01 PM)
Rules. While they can be an excellent guideline to expectations - especially early on in a relationship - cannot be hard and fast and complete with no changes or additions. The nature of a relationship must allow for growth and change. My boy would be thrilled if I handed him a typewritten list of rules, but I do not feel it is a good idea. My basic rule would be to simply be pleasing to me, and that encompasses all areas of the relationship and allows for personal growth for both of us. ...Just my opinion.

ExSteelAgain -> RE: Are you prepared to lay down the Law or not. (6/19/2007 3:39:21 PM)
Remember that psychology test we were all taking a few weeks back? Mine turned out that I work by feeling instead of rules. I want both to understand the concept and be on the same page of where we are. From there the obedience will come naturally.

DragonNphoenix -> RE: Are you prepared to lay down the Law or not. (6/19/2007 3:55:46 PM)
My Master and i have both a set of rules and an initial contract that we work with. Plus, we have questionaires and such. Those that have had interest in being part of our family have had to go through all of these and some. 1st girl Phoenix

sambamanslilgirl -> RE: Are you prepared to lay down the Law or not. (6/19/2007 4:50:53 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross Just because one doesn't have a list of rules in hand doesn't mean they won't be able to very well handle a surprise situation if it comes upon them. this is what works for Daddy and i - we don't have a Word.doc set of rules/regulations however we do have rules of mutual respect between us. He has handled a couple of my misbehaviors appropriately after deciding together if i ever should do xyz again, then abc will be the punishment.

HutchGarahl -> RE: Are you prepared to lay down the Law or not. (6/19/2007 5:06:29 PM)
I have rules. When ya raise 3 kids, ya learn rules are a neccessary part of life. For any slave/sub...the rules are in my contract. Contract must be agreed on to keep any confusion as to what's expected from the slave/sub and what I will put into the relationship as well. There is allowance for modification later....but it normally don't happen. There is a slave going over my contract this very minute. If he agrees, places his name in appropriate places, he is owned and will recieve a collar within a week. Unfortunatly this slave live in New York at the moment, but time is needed to save money to be able to move and set things there that need doing before he can leave. So......wish me good luck. :P

Alighierisquest -> RE: Are you prepared to lay down the Law or not. (6/19/2007 5:08:34 PM)
I don't think anybody really believes that they can be totally prepared with a list of rules ahead of time. It's like trying to be prepared for an kind of breakdown with your vehicle, there are simply too many too many parts and proccesses to be prepared for them all. That being said you do go out with some basics even if it is just a spare tire and jumper cables. I don't have a prepared rules list but after reading this I can certainly see the value of having a generic set of rules that can be used in the interim until a set of rules can be drawn up. The caveats being that the rules be simple and be used for day to day service, nothing weird or unusual. Finally it would be safe to include a list of commen sense rules, they may look silly to people who know them but those are not the people your using this too politely remind them about not sticking knives into toasters. And that the rules be subject to suspension if there is an obvious problem. I would never expect a sub with knee problems to sit on the floor. Beyond a generic list having old rule sets and master framework for rules would act as a great time saver basically knowing which needs need to be met that require detailed and specific rules and knowing where grey areas of protocol are before you start. You could easily use the generic rule set as a framework and basically fragment simple rules into several more complicated rules. I personally would never use any shortcuts to writing a rules set to my sub, contracts and rules should grow organically between M/s and actaully taking the time to sit down and lay out rules formally, to me, is a bonding experience. It's also a kind of gift to the sub, "My master took the time tailor these rules for me and only me." Trying to speed the whole process up by having most of it pre-written strikes me as form letterish but, like aformented letters, it may be necessary out of time constraints. I'm still new to the boards but my two cents anyway.

Faramir -> RE: Are you prepared to lay down the Law or not. (6/19/2007 5:18:25 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross I don't build my life based on rules- I build my life based on relationships. We have a winner, folks.

CreativeDominant -> RE: Are you prepared to lay down the Law or not. (6/19/2007 5:39:43 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: WhiplashSmile Hey Gang, A series of recent events got me to thinking about this subject. Some of us are out there looking for the perfect slave/submissive, but how many of us are prepared with a set of rules? Sure, we are going through checking for how compatible are, seeing if our mutal needs are in check. Looking at the physical and mental aspect attractions. However, who has a general set of rules already sitting in a Word Doc format for one to follow should everything go click bang boom! At least something that can be revised updated and modified with a day or two? Some interesting food for thought here, I thought I'd toss out for everybody to consume. What if the ultimate slave girlie girl just falls out of the sky and lands in your lap and submits with 2.5 days flat? Well that's a bit of an exaggeration, I'm certain this does happen though. I'm interested in knowing how many out there actually use a printed set of rules, just wing it making one rule after another. Kinda interested in knowing and hearing how many Masters are prepared in advanced regarding this one? Perhaps even some of the Doms that have not had a slave or been in a TPE relationship for awhile. I hope this thread inspires a little thought. Perhaps make a few Say HOLY Crap..that this is or is not a good point or subject to think and talk about. How many are not prepared for something quick to go down, because they have had a focus upon spending time getting to know somebody first, then bothering with these things as required/needed? Please excuse my thought process, call this becoming adjusted to being back on the market after two long term relationships in the last 12 years. Those were D/s Partial Power Exchange level ones. It's been awhile since my last TPE M/s.. and even then.. I took me a few days of hard work drafting rules... that relationship had came and happened rather quickly. Am I the only under prepared Boy Scout around this joint or not? Sure I know how to assert myself on a day to day level, and I can flog somebody's ass too! Even how to dish out corner time, writting assignments, and take and give privelages. I'm not fully prepared with a set of rules to pull out make modifications and post on the fridge yet! Solid M/s foundational type of stuff. Ok gang, now you can devour me for not being properly prepared! Hope this gets a few other people to wake up and smell the same coffee brewing that I do now. I don't have a long set of rules written up. As a matter of fact, the set of rules I wrote up a long time ago was only one page. Out of those, there are probably three main ones and one of those starts at the beginning of a relationship: Civility and courtesy in dealing with me in a conversation. I will give the same to you. The second is to have patience. This again applies to me as well as to you. You will most certainly expect it from me as we build, even at the beginning stages of getting to know each other. I expect it from you if I do something that doesn't quite hit you...so to speak...right. That leads to the third one, which has to do with being communicative. Again, it holds for me as well as for you. I cannot answer a half-posed question nor can I address a concern that goes unstated nor can I correct something or apologize for something that I have done wrong (yes, dominants can be wrong) if not told or if not given the chance because the problem has been stated but there has been no chance given...either from my side or yours...to make an adjustment. The other rules have room for change though I will not bend them completely out of any semblance to what I feel is important. But as noted, each relationship is different and expecting one submissive to be able to follow the rules as "pewrfectly" as that "perfect" submissive you had awhile ago...where IS she, by the way...is not going to work.

LadyHeart -> RE: Are you prepared to lay down the Law or not. (6/19/2007 5:49:35 PM)
I do not have a set of "Rules" however I do have a set of Guidelines, most of which are posted in the Journal on my Profile so any prospective play partner knows exactly where I am coming from, and what will be expected. The "Rules" I adapt to each individual and to the situation :)) LH

Celeste43 -> RE: Are you prepared to lay down the Law or not. (6/19/2007 6:20:45 PM)
Rules decided ahead of time? No thanks. What if rule number 27 is that she must wear a collar at all times but her job forbids it? Would you toss out this perfect sub because she can't follow #27? More importantly is that you don't know what one sub will need for a rule while another has that down pat. If I was given a set of rules he dreamed up while alone, I would assume he wasn't looking at me, just at some fantasy girl I won't ever be. There's no way I could possibly compete against the perfect fantasy, so I won't play that game. I really hate being set up to fail and that's what this looks like to me.

MasterFireMaam -> RE: Are you prepared to lay down the Law or not. (6/19/2007 6:26:32 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: WhiplashSmile ...but how many of us are prepared with a set of rules? raises hand I have a 70+ page Household Manual. I even wrote a book about how to develop your own, using mine as an example...so...shameless plug, since you asked. Manual Creation: Defining the Structure of an Ms Household The manual isn't 70 pages of rules and protocols, however. It emcompasses what I expect in a relationship, like honesty, drug and alcohol use, pets, etc. It also details what I feel I have to offer. It describes the household and the relationship...not so much the "you will do X", although there's plenty of that in there. Master Fire

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Are you prepared to lay down the Law or not. (6/19/2007 6:27:51 PM)
quote: We have a winner, folks. Wow high praise from you Faramir, thanks! I really do UNDERSTAND the need and desire for people to have rules and feel safe- most subs and slaves are total control freaks and the more rules and structure you build for them, the happier they are. Give them something to measure progress against- they'll love it! But that's not me- even though I'm a control freak perfectionist...I've learned that life just doesn't work that way. I'm much happier going with the flow (even if my insecure side tries to deny it).

junecleaver -> RE: Are you prepared to lay down the Law or not. (6/19/2007 6:29:45 PM)
I think I only have one rule -- 'obey.' The nature of our relationship is that he tells me what to do and then I do it, to complicate it further with rules wouldn't be a good idea right now. Our lives are not in the right place at the moment to follow a concrete list of rules. Sometimes, I think the idea is kind of hot. Other times, I feel like it would make me want to pull my hair out. A weekend of formality and rules would be hot though.

crouchingtigress -> RE: Are you prepared to lay down the Law or not. (6/19/2007 6:33:23 PM)
rules? more like guidelines.

TemptingNviceSub -> RE: Are you prepared to lay down the Law or not. (6/19/2007 6:42:18 PM)
To the OP..as some have stated..I believe any rules, except those that are absolutes to you as a Dominant, should be based on theta individual sub/slave. For as all Dominants are different, and have their own thing, the same can be said for all sub/slaves..we, I am afraid are not interchangeable..:0)..Tempting

charismagirrl -> RE: Are you prepared to lay down the Law or not. (6/19/2007 6:58:23 PM)
Something in L.A.s post made me want to respond to that part...The part about people looking for comfort in boxes or rituals etc. This was totally me a year ago and i couldn't fathom why oh why my Daddy didn't have a long list for me to follow, why he would allow me to be so uncomfortable when i brought it to his attention etc. Now i have found out that A) Sometimes it is about NOT being in your comfort zone and contrary to your comfort zone. B) Sometimes your comfort zone is not the healthiest place to be, getting out of the box is sometimes the wiser thing to do even if it is not comfortable. my Daddy showed me this soooo many times and in so many ways, the list of rules would've been for my comfort and to make me feel safe and less fear BUT it would also be a way of feeding into my fears by allowing me to have that extra comfort that I WANTED....he has helped me grow by NOT feeding into those kinds of fears and not being manipulated to suit my comfort or imagination of what should be in place (like a list) What works for others who use them is great, because it is what the Dominant wants and not just for the slave's peace of mind.

charlotte12 -> RE: Are you prepared to lay down the Law or not. (6/19/2007 6:59:14 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Celeste43 Rules decided ahead of time? No thanks. What if rule number 27 is that she must wear a collar at all times but her job forbids it? Would you toss out this perfect sub because she can't follow #27? More importantly is that you don't know what one sub will need for a rule while another has that down pat. If I was given a set of rules he dreamed up while alone, I would assume he wasn't looking at me, just at some fantasy girl I won't ever be. There's no way I could possibly compete against the perfect fantasy, so I won't play that game. I really hate being set up to fail and that's what this looks like to me. I think Celeste put it very well. I thrive on rules (not just in a D/s dynamic but in most areas of my life) and i think i would like to be given specific rules or guidelines. But i would be thrown off if they were handed to me, made up before he even knew or had met me. I think the comment about them being for a fantasy girl makes sense to me. I believe that we all learn what we want out of a relationship through experience and generally things do not turn out as planned. It is only the things in my life that i have begun without a set list of what will happen that have ever gone anywhere good. This is not to say that i think there should be no time put into consideration of what is important to you in a relationship but a pre-made list of rules would probably rub me the wrong way. Even if know they will adapt to fit to me i would rather not feel like a potential partner has so many ideas of how this will go that he is bound to be dissapointed at some point. I hope that makes sense. I'm not trying to say rules are bad at all but that i think i would prefer they be made as the relationship progresses. Thank you Whiplash, you did make me think. Hopefully my thoughts came out in some form of sense. [image]http://www.collarchat.com/micons/m10.gif[/image] ~charlotte

thetammyjo -> RE: Are you prepared to lay down the Law or not. (6/19/2007 7:04:28 PM)
I have formal training process and program that anyone who has potential with me and mine goes through. The rituals and rules in there never disappear even if he/she moves onto a position of slavery to me. If Fox believed in online communities about BDSM he'd tell you that he still runs through his slave positions and the rules every week because he knows I have the authority to call him on any point in my rules at any time. And I do. I know that my more formal approach is very different from most others on this board but it is what I've worked out over these 16 years and my best slaves went through this process. However what I have are rules and rituals that are realistic for how I want to live our life and how we must live our life in this world. To some these would be too casual, for others too strict. I don't like sharing them with anyone who is not in the position of potential for my household because I believe each of us is better developing our own lives to best suit our needs.

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