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confused Doms - 6/20/2007 1:54:04 PM   
lippyangelicsub


Posts: 29
Joined: 12/17/2006
Status: offline 		Hi
Not just Doms confused so am i,  i have recently spoken to a Dom from this site who wanted to reverse roles and become the submissive, now as a switch i have Dommed before but this one is doing my head in, demands respect, answers emails he'feels is worthy of an answer', refuses to give a straight answer to a straightforward request and almost demands  that a first meeting  should be a play meeting and i flat out refused , as i was under the impression you should get to know each other  first and talk things through face to face with no pressure. I told him to stop wasting my time , and gave him a tongue lashing (written),and wished him good luck on his way, now he is saying he thinks we would work well together , i frankly want to rip his balls off, but hey i might get in a bit of bother.......any suggestions?  Am i being to harsh telling him to look else where?
lippy
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: confused Doms - 6/20/2007 1:58:12 PM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline 		Why do you own anyone any of your time? Or a meeting? Or anything else for that matter beyond basic manners.

If he is giving you bad vibes listen to yourself. You know what is right to do for you.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to lippyangelicsub)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: confused Doms - 6/20/2007 2:04:12 PM   
MHOO314


Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline 		well if you wanted a response from the Doms, maybe you should have posted there?

_____________________________

SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor


(in reply to lippyangelicsub)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: confused Doms - 6/20/2007 2:12:44 PM   
MsKatHouston


Posts: 1909
Joined: 6/7/2006
From: Houston, TX
Status: offline 		It sounds like he is trying whatever angle will work best to get you.  Listen to your instincts.  They are usually right.  You owe him nothing.

_____________________________

-Kat

~If you can't be a good example, you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning~

(in reply to MHOO314)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: confused Doms - 6/20/2007 2:19:49 PM   
lippyangelicsub


Posts: 29
Joined: 12/17/2006
Status: offline 		hi , i didn't actually want a Doms reply, just some advice from Dommes who already know what they are doing and can generally suss people out pretty quickly. As i am not quite there yet so to speak, and any advice is better than non:)

(in reply to MHOO314)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: confused Doms - 6/20/2007 2:27:25 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Yes, and this Dom that you refer to is playing on that inexperience.
 
Hold your ground, listen to your instincts, and don't allow your time to be wasted.

(in reply to lippyangelicsub)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: confused Doms - 6/20/2007 2:30:11 PM   
DianeB269


Posts: 1596
Joined: 10/30/2006
Status: offline 		I get so many of the same emails, I don't even send a reply anymore.
I just click DELETE!


Diane

(in reply to lippyangelicsub)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: confused Doms - 6/20/2007 2:42:18 PM   
MistressLorelei


Posts: 997
Joined: 11/7/2005
Status: offline 		You wished him well and sent him on his way.... why is there more to your story?  If he thinks the two of you would work well together... so what.  His attitude is called topping from the bottom not to mention down right rude.... not highly sought after traits in this forum. 

I don't respond to Doms wanting to bottom.... and especially not one demanding to play on the first meeting.  Telling him to look elsewhere was not harsh in the least.  You have told him that you aren't interested; my advice would be to not communicate with him any further... period. 

(in reply to DianeB269)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: confused Doms - 6/20/2007 2:45:15 PM   
Stephann


Posts: 4214
Joined: 12/27/2006
From: Portland, OR
Status: offline 		People are saying he's not worth your time. Let me point out why.

There's a 95% chance he will act exactly the same way in person, as he is in his emails.  Is that really the kind of person you want in your life?

Stephan


_____________________________

Nosce Te Ipsum

"The blade itself incites to violence" - Homer

Men: Find a Woman here

(in reply to MistressLorelei)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: confused Doms - 6/20/2007 2:47:46 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DianeB269

I get so many of the same emails, I don't even send a reply anymore.
I just click DELETE!


Diane


Must love the delete button!!!


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to DianeB269)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: confused Doms - 6/20/2007 2:50:36 PM   
littlesarbonn


Posts: 1710
Joined: 12/3/2005
From: Stockton, California
Status: offline 		I guess what I never understand is this mindset that doms have, as if because they're more "demanding of respect" because they were once doms, and still believe themselves to be, they are somehow much more attractive to dominant women than submissive men who understand being a submissive male far better than someone dabbling in it for the first time. Yeah, there's the whole "you get to dominate someone who's not normally submissive" but is that really true? If it is a dominant male who is now pursuing being a submissive, what makes this animal any different from the multitudes of the submissive species that are already vying for attention and probably more capable of doing it as well? I'm sure this MIGHT appeal to a woman who wants to face the challenge of taking down a dominant male, but if he's already deciding to give in, where's the actual allure of the challenge?

_____________________________

<---- FYI, this picture looks JUST like me


http://www.littlesarbonn.com/Stickman/Stickman.htm
The Adventures of Stickman and the Unemployed Lego Spaceman

(in reply to lippyangelicsub)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: confused Doms - 6/20/2007 3:03:59 PM   
MistressLorelei


Posts: 997
Joined: 11/7/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: littlesarbonn

I guess what I never understand is this mindset that doms have, as if because they're more "demanding of respect" because they were once doms, and still believe themselves to be, they are somehow much more attractive to dominant women than submissive men who understand being a submissive male far better than someone dabbling in it for the first time. Yeah, there's the whole "you get to dominate someone who's not normally submissive" but is that really true? If it is a dominant male who is now pursuing being a submissive, what makes this animal any different from the multitudes of the submissive species that are already vying for attention and probably more capable of doing it as well? I'm sure this MIGHT appeal to a woman who wants to face the challenge of taking down a dominant male, but if he's already deciding to give in, where's the actual allure of the challenge?


He's not only deciding to give in... he's demanding that the person he decided to communicate with let him 'give in' to her.  I don't think that he's submissive in the least, or that he ever will be.  I am fine with a strong-willed submissive who is respectful... but there is a big difference between taking down a strong-willed submissive and taking down a dominant male who wants to bottom....  It will be far more difficult to bring the submissive to his knees than the dominant.... but a whole lot more satisfying.

As a person who values respect on either side of the whip, if I decided to explore My submissive side (which is beyond not likely), I would approach any contacts  with the frame of mind of a submissive... not as a demanding dominant.   

The Dom in question shows a lack of sincerity, and common sense and I would fully question his ability to be a dominant or a submissive.

(in reply to littlesarbonn)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: confused Doms - 6/20/2007 3:05:51 PM   
DianeB269


Posts: 1596
Joined: 10/30/2006
Status: offline 		Yes I do....Clicking on it give me an orgasm.




Diane

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: confused Doms - 6/20/2007 3:09:03 PM   
littlesarbonn


Posts: 1710
Joined: 12/3/2005
From: Stockton, California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DianeB269

Yes I do....Clicking on it give me an orgasm.




Diane


Wow, then I must have dolled out dozens of orgasms during my time on collarme. :)


_____________________________

<---- FYI, this picture looks JUST like me


http://www.littlesarbonn.com/Stickman/Stickman.htm
The Adventures of Stickman and the Unemployed Lego Spaceman

(in reply to DianeB269)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: confused Doms - 6/20/2007 3:21:02 PM   
MsLadySue


Posts: 2254
Joined: 12/18/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lippyangelicsub

refuses to give a straight answer to a straightforward request and almost demands  that a first meeting  should be a play meeting and i flat out refused


Refusing to give a straight answer to a straightforward request is a huge red flag.  If this "Dom" is hedging on this request, what else is he not telling the truth about? Possibly being married?

_____________________________

In order for you to insult me, I would first have to value your opinion.
I love it when someone insults me. That means I don't have to be nice anymore.

(in reply to lippyangelicsub)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: confused Doms - 6/20/2007 3:25:49 PM   
DrkJourney


Posts: 1917
Joined: 5/6/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DianeB269

Yes I do....Clicking on it give me an orgasm.




Diane


 you're killin' me

_____________________________

...Look into my eyes and I'll own you....



(in reply to DianeB269)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: confused Doms - 6/20/2007 3:32:29 PM   
DrkJourney


Posts: 1917
Joined: 5/6/2007
Status: offline 		hmmm...sounds like some I've run into.  They are nasty for no reason, then when you stop responding to their stupid emails and finally tell them "goodbye"  they want to play nice...trust me it doesn't last past that email.

These are people that NO ONE else will speak to...you made the mistake of being nice enough to at least try to talk to them, and they don't want to let go....but they also don't know how to stop being an ass.

I have one that pops up now and then,  he's pushy and can get very nasty no matter how you try to reason with him, or how nice you try to be,  because he says he's being "rejected" (eye roll).  I keep blocking him and he just comes back with a new nik....same pic.....so now I don't even try to reason with him....no response at all...just keep blocking.....lol

I swear half the niks in my block bin are him...lol

_____________________________

...Look into my eyes and I'll own you....



(in reply to lippyangelicsub)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: confused Doms - 6/20/2007 3:39:26 PM   
DianeB269


Posts: 1596
Joined: 10/30/2006
Status: offline 		Thank you, DrkJourney



Diane

(in reply to DrkJourney)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: confused Doms - 6/20/2007 11:04:23 PM   
MsRose


Posts: 98
Joined: 5/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lippyangelicsub

Hi
Not just Doms confused so am i,  i have recently spoken to a Dom from this site who wanted to reverse roles and become the submissive, now as a switch i have Dommed before but this one is doing my head in, demands respect, answers emails he'feels is worthy of an answer', refuses to give a straight answer to a straightforward request and almost demands  that a first meeting  should be a play meeting and i flat out refused , as i was under the impression you should get to know each other  first and talk things through face to face with no pressure. I told him to stop wasting my time , and gave him a tongue lashing (written),and wished him good luck on his way, now he is saying he thinks we would work well together , i frankly want to rip his balls off, but hey i might get in a bit of bother.......any suggestions?  Am i being to harsh telling him to look else where?
lippy


No means no, right? So he should be ok with your polite refusal and stop trying to manipulate you into a meeting (on his terms, I might add). You'd be putting yourself in a situation that would certainly turn in his favor. You already refused his request, so what do either of you get out of being pressured into playing? Just sounds like a no-win situation. Run away.


_____________________________

"man is born free, and everywhere he is in chains" ~ Rousseau.

(in reply to lippyangelicsub)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: confused Doms - 6/21/2007 6:57:38 AM   
MHOO314


Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline 		Let your gut instinct be your guide always, he is looking for quick sex, IMHEO----back away, there are plenty of good ones out there----you deserve better.

_____________________________

SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor


(in reply to lippyangelicsub)
Profile   Post #: 20
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