Is there an actual label for this?

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

Is there an actual label for this?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Is there an actual label for this?

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

Is there an actual label for this? - 6/21/2007 2:34:34 PM

darchChylde

Posts: 5279
Joined: 9/28/2006
From: Warm Springs, GA but i live in San Francisco.
Status: offline

I’m not a masochist, at least to my own definition. I do not actually directly enjoy pain. Some would say that they do not enjoy pain, but enjoy the pleasure that their Dominant receives from inflicting pain upon them. This is not the case for me, though it is a part of it (though it almost shames me to say to say as much). Neither am i purely into sensation, any sensation; though i have a desire, or maybe need to be touched in any way (and my favorite part of a scene is aftercare).

For me, pain is something to conquer, i pride myself on only using a safeword once, and that was because i shifted i the suspension rig i was in and my long-injured knee was being torqued in a manner that would last long after the scene. I'm not saying that i'd not use a safeword if the pain is too much, but not until well after the point that i feel i can no longer bear it. Also, i will not get into an intense scene with a Dominant that i don't trust to know what i can handle better than i do; one who can read my body and my reactions, and then follow suit.

Pain is very much an ego issue for me, the incredible satisfaction that i receive for going beyond the point that i thought i could surpass is a rush of exhilaration and joy that i can easily become positively addicted to.

_____________________________

I'm the man your mother warned you about...
if only to keep me to herself.

I'm a male dominant switch whose experienced as a poly sub to a dominant woman
.
Where the fuck do I post?

Proud Owner and Protector of chyldeschylde.

Post #: 1

RE: Is there an actual label for this? - 6/21/2007 2:41:01 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

Perhaps adrenaline junkie? But you say you're attached more to the satisfaction and ego and not really about the chemical high.

Perhaps "non masochist who loves to get pushed"?

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to darchChylde)

Post #: 2

RE: Is there an actual label for this? - 6/21/2007 2:50:45 PM

SlND3R3LLA

Posts: 118
Joined: 6/19/2007
Status: offline

i can relate to what you are saying. i will keep myself from saying anything to Master, or allowing him to see i am in pain for as long as possible. i feel like if i say something, i have sort of let him down and i am giving in to the pain. i like to see how much i can take, how far i can be pushed, things like that. It's about me beating the pain, taking what it has to give, and still being able to take more. There are times i do get pleasure from it, but there are plenty of times i just see how much i can kick pains ass.

_____________________________

And in that moment, everything I knew to be true about myself up until then was gone. I was acting like another woman, yet I was more myself than ever before. ~F

To hell with diamonds, lube is a girls best friend ;)

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 3

RE: Is there an actual label for this? - 6/21/2007 3:07:00 PM

Quivver

Posts: 1953
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline

I understand ... I'm not into pain, but have been told I must be a masochist.
I think life taught me I had to conquer pain, mental or physical.
And I know I have pushed myself many times when others may have given up.
I do admit to being a bit of an adrenaline junkie, maybe that has something to do with it,
I get a lot of satisfication when I go the extra mile.

_____________________________

The problem with communication ... is the illusion that it has been accomplished. ~George Bernard Shaw

(in reply to SlND3R3LLA)

Post #: 4

RE: Is there an actual label for this? - 6/21/2007 3:45:08 PM

Stephann

Posts: 4214
Joined: 12/27/2006
From: Portland, OR
Status: offline

I am a sadist. I've pointed out the come in two forms; those who enjoy sadism for it's own sake (ritualistic application of pain) and those who enjoy the intensity of the exchange.

A masochist, I think, comes in equal flavors; the masochist who enjoys the ritualistic reception of pain, and the masochist who enjoys the intensity of the exchange.

I'm sure newer, shiney, better labels are long over due for all of these concepts. I wish I had Ron's skill at coining terms.

Stephan

_____________________________

Nosce Te Ipsum

"The blade itself incites to violence" - Homer

Men: Find a Woman here

(in reply to Quivver)

Post #: 5

RE: Is there an actual label for this? - 6/21/2007 3:52:07 PM

yrstocollar

Posts: 95
Joined: 8/14/2006
Status: offline

You seem to get off on being able to push your own limits... it probably doesn't matter what the activity is then... just seeing how far you can go... I can relate to this as I get a real high off being able to do something I previously couldn't, no matter what it is. For example I used to be quite scared of spiders (I won't go into it but it stemmed partly from finding a nest of huntsmen in my bedside drawer as a youngster... they're scary, big and fast Australian spiders). I hit a point where I was checking corners of the room when I walked in and seeing a spider would make me break into a cold sweat. So what I did was instead of killing a spider who decided to take up residence in my bathroom, I left him alone initially while just being in the room, then I started feeding him insects and so on. The high I got from pushing myself to do it and conquering that fear was tremendous!

(in reply to Quivver)

Post #: 6

RE: Is there an actual label for this? - 6/21/2007 3:56:09 PM

subsfaith

Posts: 297
Joined: 11/21/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: darchChylde

Pain is very much an ego issue for me, the incredible satisfaction that i receive for going beyond the point that i thought i could surpass is a rush of exhilaration and joy that i can easily become positively addicted to.

Incredible satisfaction and a rush of exhilaration and joy because of pain infliction? Regardless of the root, sounds like a masochist to me. Does the root of masochism affect the final definition? Not as far as I can see.

quote:

ORIGINAL: darchChylde
Some would say that they do not enjoy pain, but enjoy the pleasure that their Dominant receives from inflicting pain upon them. This is not the case for me, though it is a part of it (though it almost shames me to say to say as much).

By your admission, the joy others feel at inflicting pain is a key to your enjoyment, however, you admit it only with shame? Why would it invoke feelings of shame? Maybe that is the only reason your are not a self-confessed masochist, because you feel shame? Maybe your mental thought process regarding pain is stopping you from growing into a masochist? Is enjoying something really such a bad thing in this case?

I used to fight the label 'masochist'.... I was shamed by it too. Then I was shown another choice. To accept it. Embrace. Celebrate it. Now I realise I have actually earnt the right to call myself a masochist, I am proud if it, of who I am. I feel no shame. My shame has been replaced by craving instead!

Horses for courses.

Faith
:: smiles ::

(in reply to darchChylde)

Post #: 7

RE: Is there an actual label for this? - 6/21/2007 4:02:11 PM

pandoravampire

Posts: 374
Joined: 12/6/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: darchChylde

For me, pain is something to conquer, i pride myself on only using a safeword once, and that was because i shifted i the suspension rig i was in and my long-injured knee was being torqued in a manner that would last long after the scene.........
i will not get into an intense scene with a Dominant that i don't trust to know what i can handle better than i do

That's funny, coz reading what your wrote, you allready have lol

my view on receiving pain which will be entirely different to any others, of course.

Enduring pain for another, is a powerful exchange. To submit to that for the dominant, is a huge gift to them, if your not maso. And many have posted on how much they love that their subs will do this for them, knowing they are not gaining pleasure from the sensations per se.
Then there is the endorphine rush. As brain chemicals begin to fly. A pain induced endorphine rush, is achievable by all, not just submissives, i see it often in weight training at the gyms.
Then, there is the subspace, lovely floaty feeling that comes from the endorphines and power exchanging and the spiritual connection as you fly together in a wonderful space provided by your play, that connection at the core of your beings.
There is some form of 'exorcism' in pain. Release for me, that settles me for days afterward.
and a similar sense of achievement to any activity where you have pushed yourself and achieved your/their goal. Like climbing a mountain.
And of course, all that lovely aftercare.

many people enjoy sensation play at pain levels. Not all are masochists. Some will grow into maso's if they have that in them, and the top/domme is experienced enough to guide.

Ive given up on labels. Im not sure why i enjoy some of the things i do, and i dont care. Im more interested in my here and now.
pandoravampire

(in reply to darchChylde)

Post #: 8

RE: Is there an actual label for this? - 6/21/2007 4:06:44 PM

ELUSIVE1

Posts: 536
Joined: 9/11/2005
Status: offline

I am not sure why everyone has to tidy WIIWD into nicely labeled categories first off...but you seem to be masochistic the way you described yourself...
I am also a masochist..but I truly enjoy the pain....and I also used the mental 'cheering' section if you will in that I tell myself over and over--you are bigger than this pain,,,you can conquer it...now I just go with it and enjoy it

_____________________________

"Words have no power to impress the mind without the exquisite horror of their reality"

*Poe
http://alt.com/blog/ELUSIVE1NC
http://users.adultspace.com/ELUSIVE1NC/

(in reply to subsfaith)

Post #: 9

RE: Is there an actual label for this? - 6/21/2007 4:13:41 PM

darchChylde

Posts: 5279
Joined: 9/28/2006
From: Warm Springs, GA but i live in San Francisco.
Status: offline

I want to point out that i have no problem with the word masochist (though i do generally dislike the use of labels), this is only a matter of curiosity to me; i would also like to thank everybody for their responses.

quote:

ORIGINAL: subsfaith

By your admission, the joy others feel at inflicting pain is a key to your enjoyment, however, you admit it only with shame? Why would it invoke feelings of shame? Maybe that is the only reason your are not a self-confessed masochist, because you feel shame? Maybe your mental thought process regarding pain is stopping you from growing into a masochist? Is enjoying something really such a bad thing in this case?

You seem to have latched upon the word "shame" and dug in without truly seeing the context; but i must admit to this being my fault, as when i reread my post i see that a lack of clarity.

What i had meant, is that it is with shame that i admit that the joy i receive is only a small part due to the fact that it pleases my Dominant; while i believe that pleasing my Ma'am should be the one overriding concern.

_____________________________

I'm the man your mother warned you about...
if only to keep me to herself.

I'm a male dominant switch whose experienced as a poly sub to a dominant woman
.
Where the fuck do I post?

Proud Owner and Protector of chyldeschylde.

(in reply to subsfaith)

Post #: 10

RE: Is there an actual label for this? - 6/21/2007 4:17:58 PM

tenderfootmaster

Posts: 484
Joined: 6/1/2007
From: Ft. Leavenworth, KS
Status: offline

I’m novice and am currently reading “SM 101” which I highly suggest for both novice and advanced Dominants, Switchs, and Submissives. According to Jay Wiseman (the author) the definition of Submissives are as follows.
“- Submissive: One who obeys orders during SM play.
- Masochist: A person who specifically enjoys receiving pain.
- Bottom: A generic term for someone who enjoys receiving pain, and/or masochistic. Many people use the word “bottom” to mean specifically someone who enjoys being various sensations, as opposed to a “submissive,” who enjoys being controlled.”

_____________________________

"Never do anything today that you can put off till tomorrow... Most things that you do not have to do today are not worth doing at all." -E. W. Scripps

www.myspace.com/bdsmguy85

(in reply to darchChylde)

Post #: 11

RE: Is there an actual label for this? - 6/21/2007 4:38:30 PM

darchChylde

Posts: 5279
Joined: 9/28/2006
From: Warm Springs, GA but i live in San Francisco.
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: tenderfootmaster

I’m novice and am currently reading “SM 101” which I highly suggest for both novice and advanced Dominants, Switchs, and Submissives. According to Jay Wiseman (the author) the definition of Submissives are as follows.
“- Submissive: One who obeys orders during SM play.
- Masochist: A person who specifically enjoys receiving pain.
- Bottom: A generic term for someone who enjoys receiving pain, and/or masochistic. Many people use the word “bottom” to mean specifically someone who enjoys being various sensations, as opposed to a “submissive,” who enjoys being controlled.”

Yes, i started in the scene as a bottom, or a stage boy, in a club in the SouthEast US some 10 years ago. I had long thought myself a submissive, but until only recently had i had anything other than play partners, and actual Ds was only a part of roleplay. My current polyamorous relationship centering on macslittleimp, is my first actual Ds relationship, which started in September. At this point, we had only played or scened in the beginning to be sure that we were compatible in that manner. Now, i am in training; which deals less with protocol and more in dealing with my own emotional issues and fears.

I have enjoyed reading excerpts from "SM 101" and intend to buy the book in it's entirety in the near future. I am currently using "La Laisse: A Common sense Apptoach to Domination and Submission" by Soduire as my main reference.

My main reason for this thread is that i feel that neither "masochist" or "bottom" truly express my personal experiences and desires.

_____________________________

I'm the man your mother warned you about...
if only to keep me to herself.

I'm a male dominant switch whose experienced as a poly sub to a dominant woman
.
Where the fuck do I post?

Proud Owner and Protector of chyldeschylde.

(in reply to tenderfootmaster)

Post #: 12

RE: Is there an actual label for this? - 6/21/2007 4:47:05 PM

CreativeDominant

Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ELUSIVE1

I am not sure why everyone has to tidy WIIWD into nicely labeled categories first off...but you seem to be masochistic the way you described yourself...
I am also a masochist..but I truly enjoy the pain....and I also used the mental 'cheering' section if you will in that I tell myself over and over--you are bigger than this pain,,,you can conquer it...now I just go with it and enjoy it

Not to nit-pick elusive, but isn't that the definition of a masochist? One who enjoys pain? As a matter of fact, one who enjoys pain so much that it becomes sexually pleasurable for them?

(in reply to ELUSIVE1)

Post #: 13

RE: Is there an actual label for this? - 6/21/2007 5:49:41 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

Well for me the issue is "Do you like the pain OR do you like the things you get indirectly due to the pain?"

Now, a masochist can like both. But if it's not the PAIN you like- then you aren't a masochist.

I love the surrender, I love the endurance, I love the pride, I love knowing the other person is enjoying it, I love the marks, I love the fear- I love everything about pain EXCEPT the pain part.

And I could quite happily live the rest of my life without pain in it because it does nothing for me AND I can get all those other things just fine in other ways.

But I play with sadists- they LOVE to hurt me, knowing I'm not liking it at all.

I'm not a masochist. I have nothing against the term, it's just not who I am or what I'm experiencing.

So again, are you liking the PAIN, or the indirect stuff FROM the pain?

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to CreativeDominant)

Post #: 14

RE: Is there an actual label for this? - 6/21/2007 8:14:45 PM

darchChylde

Posts: 5279
Joined: 9/28/2006
From: Warm Springs, GA but i live in San Francisco.
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross
So again, are you liking the PAIN, or the indirect stuff FROM the pain?

As i said, lovely Albatross; it is the indirect stuff FROM the pain that i like. By the way, i liked you suggestion at the beginning of this thread "non masochist who loves to get pushed"; but i did not respond as i wanted to wait for a few more responses. I'd like to say that i've often enjoyed your insightful, informative, and well thought-out posts; it hurts not at all that they come from a woman as beautiful as she is intelligent.

< Message edited by darchChylde -- 6/21/2007 8:16:31 PM >

_____________________________

I'm the man your mother warned you about...
if only to keep me to herself.

I'm a male dominant switch whose experienced as a poly sub to a dominant woman
.
Where the fuck do I post?

Proud Owner and Protector of chyldeschylde.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 15

RE: Is there an actual label for this? - 6/21/2007 9:14:56 PM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline

It sounds like it's about endurance and not being overcome. "You cannot beat it out of me." I'm this way a lot, I've found as I've explored. What to get a reaction out of me? Touch me softly and gently. Might sound corny, but it's the truth.

Master Fire

_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to darchChylde)

Post #: 16

RE: Is there an actual label for this? - 6/22/2007 2:26:10 AM

Aileen68

Posts: 6091
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline

I think I'm more of a fantasy masochist. I fantasize about experiencing pain and then when it happens in reality I'm like...no fucking way. This hurts. I switch over to a different mindset and get off on not having any control over what is being done to me. It allows me to endure much more than I ever think I can. In the end, we are both satisfied.

(in reply to darchChylde)

Post #: 17

RE: Is there an actual label for this? - 6/22/2007 11:55:04 AM

Tenchi

Posts: 13
Joined: 6/12/2007
Status: offline

I can relate to where you are coming from. I myself dont actually like the pain but i wont allow it to stop me from anything in life. If i had to label it though i would either call it being an adrenaline addict or you could just like the endorphans your brain releases in responce to the pain.

(in reply to darchChylde)

Post #: 18

RE: Is there an actual label for this? - 5/19/2008 11:16:14 AM

darchChylde

Posts: 5279
Joined: 9/28/2006
From: Warm Springs, GA but i live in San Francisco.
Status: offline

I'm waking up an old thread here with an update.

Had my first "real" scene with Ma'am last weekend at the Lair deSade. When i finally got a look in good light; i had a roadmap of clawmarks on my neck. back, chest and thighs; also some bite marks on my back and shoulders, and my ass has had some serious renovations to its' landscape. From casual play throughout the night with Her nails and vampire gloves on my chest, back and arms and lots of hair-pulling; i was boneless by time She took me to actually have our scene.

Ma'am used a springy whip-stick thingie (like a thin rubber crop without an end piece, that didn't hurt until She used it on already warmed up spots), a cute little red pitchfork crop, a heavy flogger which was more sensual than painful (until she hit me hard on my already sore booty), a heavy wooden paddle, vampire gloves, and of course Her hands and nails and teeth. It was such an intense and emotional scene for me, and Ma'am even broke a sweat ("I don't sweat!!!" LoL at Ma'am).

After the scene, i cured up in Her lap crying; feeling so very safe, loved and cared for. i honestly cannot remember ever being so happy since the time i held my daughter for the first time. Well, due to this scene and some casual play spanking and stuff over the last few weeks (mostly as a test ass for Her new "Impish Designs" custom paddles; i had come to some new conclusions...

i am a masochist, i love pain when it's Ma'am who is hurtting me!!! There really makes a difference when you love and feel safe enough to fully open up to the one who's beating you. i think that Ma'am might even be in danger of turning me into a painslut over time. LoL

Sincerely,

the Imp's pet
darchChylde
oren - a very happy boy

< Message edited by darchChylde -- 5/19/2008 11:30:59 AM >

_____________________________

I'm the man your mother warned you about...
if only to keep me to herself.

I'm a male dominant switch whose experienced as a poly sub to a dominant woman
.
Where the fuck do I post?

Proud Owner and Protector of chyldeschylde.

(in reply to Tenchi)

Post #: 19

RE: Is there an actual label for this? - 5/19/2008 11:31:21 AM

Owner4SexSlave

Posts: 1311
Joined: 4/4/2007
Status: offline

I'm not certain there is an actually label for what you describe however I understand it completely. This is coming from somebody who is sadamaso.

The whole part about Ego and being able to take the pain. The whole sort of I'm not gonna let this break me attitude, or mindset.

Me and a past girl friend used to literally beat the fuck out of each other at times. At times, it was matter of EGO in terms of being able to take the it as well as dish it out. I would say most of our S&M was more Ego driven, compared to the Pleasure from pain type of mentality.

Her and I both being sadomaso Doms.

Big difference between wanting to feel pain, and feel a release from it. Compared to proving to somebody and yourself how much pain you can humanly withstand, and yes even keep a smart ass smile on your face afterwards.

In all honestly, I don't know what kind of label you can slap on it. S&M play is just that. The whole experience of give and recieving pain. You don't have to be a Masochist to be a target of somebody else's sadism. The only requirement is for you to submit to being their target.

(in reply to darchChylde)

Post #: 20

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Is there an actual label for this?

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.109