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Words or Actions? - 6/21/2007 8:00:25 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline 		The character of a person is often viewed when we are considering a potential relationship with a person.

So... when considering a person's character.....

How do you weight your judgment with regards to their Words expressed of their Character?

How do you weight your judgment with regards to their Actions demonstrated of their Character?





Lastly,  In an Online environment such as this..... Do you think you preceive Actions that demonstrate Character or are they just words on a screen?  

....... so how does this affect your decisions in the building of a relationship in an online environment?



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Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.
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RE: Words or Actions? - 6/21/2007 8:06:43 PM   
SexyRed


Posts: 529
Joined: 8/19/2004
Status: offline 		I only go by actions. When it comes to online, there are only words, actions can only be done in person. I don't trust anything that is done soley online; I must be in person to really fully perceive someone in their entirety.

Character takes a while to define; you cannot tell a person's integrity or character from a few email exhanges.

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RE: Words or Actions? - 6/21/2007 8:24:37 PM   
sublimelysensual


Posts: 298
Joined: 7/25/2005
Status: offline 		I learned the hard way that someone can represent themselves however they like online, even carry it out offline for a certain period of time, but eventually actions start to tell the tale. I look at online as a great way to meet people with similar interests, but until I meet someone offline, and actually spend time with them, I reserve all judgment.
 
  On the flipside (laughs) there are people who post regularly that I respect, and who seem consistant in their attitudes/thoughts, etc. If I were to meet one of them, I would more likely go into it with more of a trust (that they were what they seem to be) than I would with someone I just mailed/messaged back and forth with a few times, simply because when someone posts in the forums, I seriously doubt it's with the intention of courting people, though I could be wrong. Hmm..may have to think about that one some more, lol...
 
-a

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RE: Words or Actions? - 6/21/2007 8:25:24 PM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		I simply need both, not one or the other. Words with out action make me feel betrayed, as it does for most anyone. However, actions without words make me feel suspicious. I need actions to show me your serious and words to reaffirm how you feel about me because I never, ever assume I'm loved or found attractive or appreciated unless I hear otherwise. Trying to woe me solely with action will make me wonder about your motives because I don't assume you're doing because you love me, are attracted to me or appreciate me. Trying to woe me solely with words leads me to say, "Yeah, we'll see."

Master Fire


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RE: Words or Actions? - 6/21/2007 8:30:18 PM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline 		I place more value on actions than words but that isn't the same as saying words have no value.  If someone flies into a tizy all the time on the boards or is always trying to upstage everyone else I tend to dismiss them.  If their words are thoughtfully chosen, I tend to believe they will be thoughtful people.

Where I tend to want to see action is will someone do the right thing when nobody is looking or when doing the right thing is hard, actions are the only thing I put a stake in. 

If someone's spelling sucks or their word choice isn't the best, I don't assume they are stupid but if they can't organize a sentence I do tend to dismiss their intelligence although I might love to sit down and share dinner with them and enjoy them in person.

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RE: Words or Actions? - 6/21/2007 8:33:21 PM   
Viciousbabe


Posts: 61
Joined: 5/15/2006
Status: offline 		Words are to easy to spew out onto a screen, or even to fill someone's head with. Actions show me how someone feels, and if they are willing to go the extra mile.

In an online world, it is all words until the person steps up to the plate and meets me.

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RE: Words or Actions? - 6/21/2007 9:10:59 PM   
popeye1250


Posts: 18104
Joined: 1/27/2006
From: New Hampshire
Status: offline 		I look at actions, like what has a person actually done in their life.
Of course without knowing that person you need the words to describe the actions.

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RE: Words or Actions? - 6/21/2007 9:12:46 PM   
BearAsSpanker


Posts: 21
Joined: 5/20/2007
Status: offline
My personal character has been measured by life's challenges. The written word is just one yard rule. When I finally meet someone. I will know if the character is true.

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An inch is a cinch!

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RE: Words or Actions? - 6/21/2007 9:15:03 PM   
MzMia


Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SexyRed

I only go by actions. When it comes to online, there are only words, actions can only be done in person. I don't trust anything that is done soley online; I must be in person to really fully perceive someone in their entirety.

Character takes a while to define; you cannot tell a person's integrity or character from a few email exhanges.


Well said, actions always speak more than words, IMHO
But words from someone I love and trust mean a lot to me.

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To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain


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RE: Words or Actions? - 6/21/2007 10:10:51 PM   
TheHeretic


Posts: 19100
Joined: 3/25/2007
From: California, USA
Status: offline 		        In the online world, words become actions.  HOW do they post?  Constant contradictions?  Hypocrisy?  Stoopid, stoopid, stoopid?

      You can get a very good image of a person's character over time.

< Message edited by TheHeretic -- 6/21/2007 10:11:26 PM >

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RE: Words or Actions? - 6/21/2007 10:13:18 PM   
MzMia


Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: TheHeretic

      In the online world, words become actions.  HOW do they post?  Constant contradictions?  Hypocrisy?  Stoopid, stoopid, stoopid?

    You can get a very good image of a person's character over time.


Online I tend to agree with you.  But I think people deserve "off" posts/touchy or bad days.
But if they are consistently, always mean, nasty, contradictory, the opposite of what they claim to be? etc.
Than that is the horse of a different color.

< Message edited by MzMia -- 6/21/2007 10:17:42 PM >

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain


What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

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RE: Words or Actions? - 6/21/2007 10:25:02 PM   
Lordandmaster


Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline 		For me, it's close to 0% words and 100% actions.  I guess maybe there is a tiny space for words, but in the long run they don't mean anything if they're not accompanied by actions anyway.

quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

So... when considering a person's character.....

How do you weight your judgment with regards to their Words expressed of their Character?

How do you weight your judgment with regards to their Actions demonstrated of their Character?

(in reply to KnightofMists)
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RE: Words or Actions? - 6/21/2007 10:27:28 PM   
TheHeretic


Posts: 19100
Joined: 3/25/2007
From: California, USA
Status: offline 		        You certainly have to look at the whole body of posts (or saved e-mails and chat conversations), but even those "off" posts can give you a glimpse.  "I can deal with that," on some, "hmmmm... gonna have to watch that," on others.

       People who read my posts, for instance, might decide that I'm occasionally a mite grumpy after work.  And there is something so cute about subs who charge flailing in to defend their Dom/me's honor.

_____________________________

If you lose one sense, your other senses are enhanced.
That's why people with no sense of humor have such an inflated sense of self-importance.


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RE: Words or Actions? - 6/22/2007 2:53:31 AM   
Quivver


Posts: 1953
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline 		I have heard a lot of words over the years.  Where I judge charactor is in the follow through. 
Without follow through the words are empty.   

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The problem with communication ... is the illusion that it has been accomplished. ~George Bernard Shaw

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RE: Words or Actions? - 6/22/2007 3:17:02 AM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline 		Words are actions. I commit an action when I speak, how I speak, and with what I say. Same goes for writing. So, to me, it's part of a picture, and what I witness online adds up, but it certainly isn't all there is to it, either.

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Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

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RE: Words or Actions? - 6/22/2007 6:56:51 AM   
SeeksOnlyOne


Posts: 2012
Joined: 5/14/2007
Status: offline 		for online, you have to judge by words.  since theres no "sarcasm" button(although i have suggested typing in italics for sarcasm", i tend to insert sarcasm into others words according to how i see the world.

i have known folks online that i thought i could be best friends with, and met them and they were totally different.  and the opposite has happened also, thinking they were so not anyone i could be around and finding them to be quite charming.

in the real world, actions do speak louder than words though.  while words on-line may make me want to meet them, seeing ones body language and mannerisms in person can tell more in 5 minutes that talking on here for months.






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in those moments of solitude, does everyone sometimes think they are insane? or is it just me?

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RE: Words or Actions? - 6/22/2007 6:59:05 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		What Quivver said.  Talk is cheap and anyone can look good.  The proof is in the actions.  

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RE: Words or Actions? - 6/22/2007 8:16:28 AM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SeeksOnlyOne

for online, you have to judge by words.  since theres no "sarcasm" button(although i have suggested typing in italics for sarcasm", i tend to insert sarcasm into others words according to how i see the world.



Hey, that's a great idea; "really".

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

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RE: Words or Actions? - 6/22/2007 8:27:20 AM   
SeeksOnlyOne


Posts: 2012
Joined: 5/14/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

quote:

ORIGINAL: SeeksOnlyOne

for online, you have to judge by words.  since theres no "sarcasm" button(although i have suggested typing in italics for sarcasm", i tend to insert sarcasm into others words according to how i see the world.



Hey, that's a great idea; "really".


didnt you mean really?

_____________________________

it aint no good til it hurts just a little bit....jimmy somerville

in those moments of solitude, does everyone sometimes think they are insane? or is it just me?

(in reply to Level)
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RE: Words or Actions? - 6/22/2007 8:31:57 AM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SeeksOnlyOne

quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

quote:

ORIGINAL: SeeksOnlyOne

for online, you have to judge by words.  since theres no "sarcasm" button(although i have suggested typing in italics for sarcasm", i tend to insert sarcasm into others words according to how i see the world.



Hey, that's a great idea; "really".


didnt you mean really?


LOL, smart aleck!

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to SeeksOnlyOne)
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