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RE: Female Dominant Terminology - 6/22/2007 12:50:43 PM

Politesub53

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Joined: 5/7/2007
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With respect Maam, i used to get either ignored or an essay or both as punishment, as that is what i disliked the most. However, never having been whipped i am guessing i wouldnt like that either. Suffice to say its an error i only made once.

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RE: Female Dominant Terminology - 6/22/2007 1:59:13 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
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I do have the preference to Domme, rather than Domina. However, that is My personal preference alone and has nothing to do with either of them being more proper, more powerful, or more authoritive than the other. I've got the same skin crawling sensation others have mentioned at the pronouciation of 'dommay'.

I reserve the title of Mistress only for My submissive. What MzKat mentioned about earning that title does apply for some. (I generally don't agree with people taking Mistress/Master without actually having a current or past submissive/slave.) Others call Me Ma'am, or Lady Pact, as that was a name I was given by others in the community.

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RE: Female Dominant Terminology - 6/22/2007 3:02:00 PM

SDFemDom4cuck

Posts: 2809
Joined: 5/23/2005
From: P'burgh PA
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I don't think any one term is more Dominant than another. I look at it in terms of level of relationship as well. Jo is fine to start. Once it moves a little farther along prefer Ma'am or Ms. Jo although both are fine at the start as well. (The latter of which seems to have slowly crept into even my vanilla world of friendships strangely.) I reserve Mistress for Ownership. It irks me to no end when someone addresses me as Mistress without even knowing me.

I prefer Dominant or Domme, but as soon as I hear dommay I just have to roll my eyes and shake my head. I had a "submissive" or two argue the pronunciation of it with me over the years. Usually I won't even bother to correct them since it tells me pretty much everything I need to know. I just scratch them off the list and go on my merry way.

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She dealt her pretty words like Blades -
How glittering they shone -
And every One unbared a Nerve
Or wantoned with a Bone -

I want a sensitive man - one who'll cry when I hit him.

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Post #: 23

RE: Female Dominant Terminology - 6/22/2007 4:34:12 PM

MistressRage

Posts: 138
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: Upstate New York
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Politesub53

All i know is that Babe isnt acceptable and ended up in me doing one very long essay

quote:

All i know is that Babe isnt acceptable and ended up in me doing one very long essay

HA!!!! Hilarious! Thanks for a good laugh.

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~outRAGEous~

I don't always return to a thread. It's usually best to message your replies directly to me.

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RE: Female Dominant Terminology - 6/22/2007 8:55:47 PM

NovelApproach

Posts: 150
Joined: 3/25/2007
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I refer to myself as a Domina, mostly because I love the Latin language and see it as the feminine equivalent of "Domine" or "Lord/Master." My sub calls me "Mistress" in scene, and refers to me by name in public. I don't mind "Domme," and I've been called "M'lady" and "Miss" in the past, and those are all right too. I've also been called a "Dom" by male dominants, and I take that as a sign that they see me as equal and under the same title as them.

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RE: Female Dominant Terminology - 6/23/2007 12:07:38 PM

VeryMercurial

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Joined: 6/5/2006
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Domina or Dominant works for me.
Mistress is reserved for only one special person.

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Post #: 26

RE: Female Dominant Terminology - 6/23/2007 1:48:29 PM

PairOfDimes

Posts: 324
Joined: 7/20/2006
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Nope, they're all general terms for "woman who is dominant in a BDSM-ish way." I don't particularly like "Mistress" used as an indefinite noun, (in other words, I prefer it as a form of address or particular title--"my Mistress," is fine, calling me "Mistress" (if, you know, I've agreed to it) is fine, but, "she is a Mistress," doesn't appeal to me. I think "domme" is as yucky as "lady doctor" and "authoress." "Domina" doesn't seem terrible, it being an actual word, but I don't encounter it much in a BDSM context. I prefer "dom," "dominant," "dominant person," and "dominant woman." "Top" is another good word to designate "person who hits/binds/takes kinky action."

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RE: Female Dominant Terminology - 6/23/2007 1:59:37 PM

MysticFireTopaz

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Personally, I prefer Domme or Femdom. I don't mind Domina, either. One term I don't care for is Dominatrix, but I don't hear it used that often.

As others have mentioned, I consider Mistress a more personal term of address and it is reserved only for those I own.

Lady Topaz

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RE: Female Dominant Terminology - 6/23/2007 6:47:37 PM

LadyHugs

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Dear alittlebent, Ladies and Gentlemen;

I am one of those ladies who watches titles/labels batted about and really boils down to personal preferences.

Too many times, people place the tag of Mistress or Master on themselves and haven't mastered the American-English language or their own lives, cannot keep a submissive or slave for but a short time, etc. I came from a time these titles were earned.

That said, I have been addressed as Master by Gay Leather men and addressed as Master/SIR by my first slave who was closeted Gay many years ago. Yet--I'm very much a woman. I am deemed as a master of my skills and craft. So, I am very comfortable with this title.

I have been addressed as Mistress by my other slaves. They have been Heterosexual men. I accept their title as Mistress, although I prefer it used in conjunction with ownership. Thrusting the title of Mistress where there is no relationship is a bit awkward however, I take it with the spirit of intent--which most have used the title in a kind and respectful way.

The title of "Lady" is more than a title to me -- it is a state of behavior as well as an attitude. This is 'me.'

Polite addressing by use of Ma'am or Madame is appreciated, when there is respect associated with it. If H.R.H. Queen Elizabeth II can have her correspondences start with "Dear Madame;" --it is good etiquette and protocol for her, it is good enough for me.

I am a Female Dominant and do understand the short cuts that create Fem Dom. Domina is passing barely. Domme to me is like fingernails on a chalk board. That sort of cringe. Dominatrix is more proper in my mind's eyes but; too often associated with Professional Dominatrix to which I do not collect fees, tributes and the like yet, I am very professional in my skills and teaching.

But, the best title of all is - "Me." It describes "me" to a "T".

Just some thoughts.

Respectfully submitted with a pinch of wit,
Lady Hugs

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RE: Female Dominant Terminology - 6/23/2007 11:07:59 PM

LadyDominaX

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I like Domina because of the background of the word. According to the Webster's Revised Unabridged Dictionary (1913), was a term in Old English Law. It was a title formerly given to noble ladies who held a barony in their own right.
I've been called "Sir" before, though Ma'am makes me feel older than I am. I love the word Dominatrix, but so few people can pronounce it properly.
If anyone ever, ever called me a "dommie" to my face I'd be tempted to sew their lips shut.

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RE: Female Dominant Terminology - 6/23/2007 11:23:13 PM

Renate234

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From: sw Missouri
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I'm female, and dominant. Anything beyond that, as a title, is window dressing.

Mistress would be reserved for within the relationship; but I often joke that by the time they learn to pronounce my nname correctly - rolled "R", short "E's", deep "A", proper accenting... there is no chance of doubt, as to who's in charge.

To most people, I'm simply Renate.

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"You get what everyone gets... You get a lifetime."

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RE: Female Dominant Terminology - 6/24/2007 8:06:18 AM

KaramelGoddess

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Good day all,

I don't think any of the terms imply one is more Dominant than another.

I prefer Domina to any other term used for Female Dominant. I will also answer to Lady, M'Lady, Ms Kara, Goddess or Queen, although I don't have any preference there. My online, owned boy is the only one allowed to call Me Mistress, as that is his right and his privilege. If I'm meeting someone for the first time I ask them to call Me Domina in private and Kara in public.

~Kara

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RE: Female Dominant Terminology - 6/24/2007 9:38:59 AM

MiladyElaine

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Well I am old enough to be called Ma'am, but I hate it!
I am a Domme (pronounced dom) and like to be called Milady by subs regardless of whether I am your lady or not.

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RE: Female Dominant Terminology - 6/24/2007 10:02:15 AM

TexasMaam

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I prefer the term Domitrice or Dominatrix, Domme is OK, I guess I've gotten used to it. Domina is preferable to Domme, for some reason Domme just sounds so slang to Me.

Mistress is what I am to My manthing.

Ma'am is what I expect from everyone, from My manthing it is a word that resonates in My soul.

TexasMaam

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RE: Female Dominant Terminology - 6/24/2007 4:21:15 PM

alittlebent

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Ladies,

Thank you all for your replies, they have been most enlightening.

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RE: Female Dominant Terminology - 6/27/2007 10:34:56 AM

LadyCharly

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I'm not sure how you came to that conclusion, but what I said was:

quote:

But alas online has brought forth many different meanings and everyone will debate them. Only I'm one who looks up the definitions of words in Webster's Dictionary and believe nothing that is not listed there as part of definition. Perhaps, there would be less confusion if EVERYONE did the same thing!

If you would have kept the paragraph intact, it is speaking only to the use of the same definitions, not at all to what people do or are into. For instance: Many call themselves a Mistress/Master and yet never want to own slaves(chattels). Many call themselves slaves, yet don't want to be owned/enslaved. M/W defines as follows:

Main Entry: mis·tress

Pronunciation: 'mis-tr&s
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English maistresse, from Anglo-French mestresse, feminine of mestre master -- more at MASTER
1 : a woman who has power, authority, or ownership: as a : the female head of a household

Main Entry: 1slave

Pronunciation: 'slAv
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English sclave, from Anglo-French or Medieval Latin; Anglo-French esclave, from Medieval Latin sclavus, from Sclavus Slavic; from the frequent enslavement of Slavs in central Europe during the early Middle Ages
1 : a person held in servitude as the chattel of another 2 : one that is completely subservient to a dominating influence

En·slave·ment
n.The act of reducing to slavery; state of being enslaved; bondage; servitude.

Everyone is their own unique individual and have their own comfort level, which is not about conformity nor should it be! All I was referring to was the multitude of definitions for a single word.... But I know how things said in this type of venue can be taken in many contexts, so no worries. ;)~

But if one does NOT want to be enslaved/owned, why refer to oneself as a slave? See that is the confusing part, because when I see someone call themselves a "male slave or female slave", I automatically take that as they want to be enslaved/owned/24-7.....but in reality they really don't. Hell nothing wrong with someone just wanting to submit, instead of being enslaved.

Perhaps as it's internationally known about "green, yellow and red" as code words during a scene, there should be internationally known definitions for every word associated with the BDSM Lifestyle. hehehe

For MsKatHouston:

This is what I have always heard and found online (smiles):

Vanilla: Someone who is not in the lifestyle. Alternatively, sexual behaviour which does not encompass BDSM activity. The term is sometimes used in a derogatory sense.

(in reply to MstrssPassion)

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RE: Female Dominant Terminology - 6/28/2007 6:43:01 AM

Calandra

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quote:

ORIGINAL: alittlebent
Ladies,
i am curious on Your feelings about the names people refer to you as. Do you make any distinctions between a Domina, Domme, or Mistress. Is one anymore dominant than the other?

Good morning!

It was explained to Me years ago that Dominatrix is one who dominates for money, Domina is one who does it as a lifestyle, Domme (pronounced DOM much like femme is pronounced fem) is simply a feminized form of Dom, and Mistress is only to be used between a female Dominant and her sub/slave.

I am fine with Domme, Domina, and of course Mystress to those select ones who belong to Me.

_____________________________

Lady Kathryn
Athens, Ga.
House of Phoenix

"Nothing is ever final until you're dead - and even then I'm sure God negotiates" Anjelica Huston in Everafter

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RE: Female Dominant Terminology - 6/28/2007 9:35:39 AM

MsKatHouston

Posts: 1909
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From: Houston, TX
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LOL thanks, I do know what it means. However, my point was that you can not find that definition anywhere in MW. So, while I definitely agree with you that m-w is a great place for definitions and let's not reinvent the wheel here, I also acknowledge that certain general terms have a specific meaning in vanilla conversation and take on an entirely new meaning when applied to kink. Those meanings are not always found in good ole m-w.

So, it would be difficult for everyone to use it as a source for terminology when many of the definitions found there do not apply.

_____________________________

-Kat

~If you can't be a good example, you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning~

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