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Scenes with Mistress??? - 6/9/2005 12:22:53 PM

gingerbenn

Posts: 4
Joined: 5/17/2005
Status: offline

Not sure if anyone can help me, I'm sub and have been doing bdsm scenes on and off for the
last 5 or 6 years but mostly all of my experience has come from Male Doms/Masters only
due to the fact the time i got into bdsm scenes i could not find a Mistress to take me on
for scenes/play.

So here is my situation, I am lucky to enough have found a Mistress (with experience)
and so far have had a few scenes with her and also attended a fetish club with her which
was totally new experience for me (Which I really enjoyied once i got there).

Anyway my problem is i feel i am not getting as much enjoyment from the scenes
have been doing with Mistress compared to the fun she is having using me in bdsm scenes.
For a start I would of expected myself to be more excited (eg Hard) in bdsm scenes i have done
with Mistress but i am very up and down when it comes been turned on or hard. Stress the
scenes I do with my mistress are purely bdsm scenes no actually sex takes places.
I have been told in later scenes i will be allowed to cum in the presents of my Mistress,
but i just can;t understand why i don;t get excited more when used by my Mistress.

I could just putting it down to earily days with her within the scenes have done so far,
or could it poss be something else. So far nothing has been done to me within scenes
I've not actually liked or could't take but within the two scenes I have done i have
taken more actually cbt, nipple torture and cp then i ever thought i would.
So guess that progress on my part, but i want to get more out of the scene
and be more turned on or hard thought out the scenes no just on and off
like i am currently experiencing.

Can anyone help with my probs at the moment just need someone else's
views on my problems.

Regards
gingerbenn

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RE: Scenes with Mistress??? - 6/9/2005 5:34:13 PM

MistressMarry

Posts: 6
Joined: 3/8/2004
From: Puget Sound, WA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: gingerbenn
Anyway my problem is i feel i am not getting as much enjoyment from the scenes
have been doing with Mistress compared to the fun she is having using me in bdsm scenes.
For a start I would of expected myself to be more excited (eg Hard) in bdsm scenes i have done
with Mistress but i am very up and down when it comes been turned on or hard. Stress the
scenes I do with my mistress are purely bdsm scenes no actually sex takes places.
I have been told in later scenes i will be allowed to cum in the presents of my Mistress,
but i just can;t understand why i don;t get excited more when used by my Mistress.

So guess that progress on my part, but i want to get more out of the scene
and be more turned on or hard thought out the scenes no just on and off
like i am currently experiencing.

A couple of things come to mind: First, its not about you. Its her scene and you are there for her pleasure and amusement. So the question becomes, is SHE having a good time? Is SHE attempting to get an erection from you and its not working?

Fear can be an interesting tool. For some, they get so hot and hard they are stupid and others just shrivel right up when placed in a situation of fear.

Second, just because you have met someone doesn't mean SHE is the right one for you or you are the right one for her. There is a lot to be said for chemistry and also taking the time to learn what trips each other's trigger.

Third, relax and stop worrying about the hardness factor. Concentrate on pleasing her and enjoying the other parts of the scene and see if that makes a difference in your response.

_____________________________

"I don't have any plans yet - but I have a great outfit and bad intentions."

(in reply to gingerbenn)

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RE: Scenes with Mistress??? - 6/9/2005 5:57:20 PM

SecretDomme

Posts: 152
Joined: 1/21/2004
Status: offline

Are you truly compatible with her, or did you just agree to be her sub because she was the first female to take you on as a submissive? Are you attracted to her? What is she doing differently from the male Doms you had?

Just some questions for you to think about.

Be well,
Julie

(in reply to gingerbenn)

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RE: Scenes with Mistress??? - 6/14/2005 6:44:57 PM

gingerbenn

Posts: 4
Joined: 5/17/2005
Status: offline

MistressMarry,
Thats for the advice, yes I understand it not about me its about my Mistress
and her enjoyment. Which i feel is part of reason maybe i am not enjoying
scenes that much so far, I been told by my Mistress that i need
training from scratch as slave to an Mistress.

Fear i feel i need more of, as i like the unknown factor within bdsm scenes.
But i guess i could be just worrying so much that am doing scenes
with a Mistress at last which is what have always wanted within since
got into bdsm scenes.

Yep so far have relaxed in one scene, which was good scene.
But last scene was bit of nitemare for me, don't feel i relaxed at all
and did't help there was 2 x Mistresses.

Thanks very much for your advice Mistress Mary.

Regards
sub gb

(in reply to SecretDomme)

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RE: Scenes with Mistress??? - 6/14/2005 6:50:21 PM

gingerbenn

Posts: 4
Joined: 5/17/2005
Status: offline

SecretDomme,
thanks for your reply regarding my problem.
First of all yes maybe i did agree poss too quickly as she
is the first Mistress to actually use me in bdsm scene.
(But have experience of Masters using me)

Yes am attracted to her, but nothing sexually goes on in scenes.

My Mistress uses me slightly different from Masters due too the
non sexual use in scenes, the scenes i do with my Mistress are
more just pure cbt, tt, cp and bondage. So guess that makes a difference some what.

Please get back to me if this gives you a better picture of my problem
Thanks again for replying.

sub gb

(in reply to SecretDomme)

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RE: Scenes with Mistress??? - 6/14/2005 6:54:10 PM

gingerbenn

Posts: 4
Joined: 5/17/2005
Status: offline

Sorry not sure you got this msg,
sorry if already have.

MistressMarry,
Thats for the advice, yes I understand it not about me its about my Mistress
and her enjoyment. Which i feel is part of reason maybe i am not enjoying
scenes that much so far, I been told by my Mistress that i need
training from scratch as slave to an Mistress.

Fear i feel i need more of, as i like the unknown factor within bdsm scenes.
But i guess i could be just worrying so much that am doing scenes
with a Mistress at last which is what have always wanted within since
got into bdsm scenes.

Yep so far have relaxed in one scene, which was good scene.
But last scene was bit of nitemare for me, don't feel i relaxed at all
and did't help there was 2 x Mistresses.

Thanks very much for your advice Mistress Mary.

Regards
sub gb

quote:

MistressMarry,
Thats for the advice, yes I understand it not about me its about my Mistress
and her enjoyment. Which i feel is part of reason maybe i am not enjoying
scenes that much so far, I been told by my Mistress that i need
training from scratch as slave to an Mistress.

Fear i feel i need more of, as i like the unknown factor within bdsm scenes.
But i guess i could be just worrying so much that am doing scenes
with a Mistress at last which is what have always wanted within since
got into bdsm scenes.

Yep so far have relaxed in one scene, which was good scene.
But last scene was bit of nitemare for me, don't feel i relaxed at all
and did't help there was 2 x Mistresses.

Thanks very much for your advice Mistress Mary.

Regards
sub gb

(in reply to MistressMarry)

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RE: Scenes with Mistress??? - 6/17/2005 7:03:57 PM

MistressMarry

Posts: 6
Joined: 3/8/2004
From: Puget Sound, WA
Status: offline

Your welcome and good luck.

_____________________________

"I don't have any plans yet - but I have a great outfit and bad intentions."

(in reply to gingerbenn)

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RE: Scenes with Mistress??? - 6/19/2005 6:26:50 AM

CanuckDoms

Posts: 5
Joined: 6/18/2005
From: montreal QC
Status: offline

I guess i look at it a different way...the dom/sub relationship has to be a two way street i WANT my sub to enjoy the scene as much as possible...that said i also like to push that sub as far as they can go and a little bit beyond. maybe im too nice lol but i prefer to err on the safe side.

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RE: Scenes with Mistress??? - 6/19/2005 6:53:35 AM

SecretDomme

Posts: 152
Joined: 1/21/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CanuckDoms

I guess i look at it a different way...the dom/sub relationship has to be a two way street i WANT my sub to enjoy the scene as much as possible...that said i also like to push that sub as far as they can go and a little bit beyond. maybe im too nice lol but i prefer to err on the safe side.

I certainly feel the same way. I wouldn't have a relationship if I didn't think we both were getting something from it. However, it is still clear to the sub that I am going to do things that I enjoy. In choosing a partner, I am going to make sure that he, for the most part, enjoys the same things that I do. If there are activities that he doesn't particularly care for, he would still enjoy the control I have over him to make him endure those things for me and get pleasure from knowing he pleased me. It's all part of the dynamic.

Be well,
Julie

(in reply to CanuckDoms)

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RE: Scenes with Mistress??? - 6/19/2005 7:40:37 AM

Chayne

Posts: 1
Joined: 6/16/2005
Status: offline

All good advise here...and one question.

Have you talked to HER about this stuff?

Having asked that question, an observation

You sound nervous and sounds like you are getting a little stage fright going on. That is my sense, in any case. Another possibility is that you actually do prefer the male energy over the female energy. It sounds like, tho, that you and your Mistress should sit down, have a talk about all of this, and just see where the two of you are headed. I would hope that she will listen to you, hear you and your concerns, and that the 2 of you can address them. It really IS ok to question your Dominant.. I do recommend doing it outside of a scene, tho. Make sure all of your concerns and Hers, as well, are aired and working towards resolution.

I wish you good luck..and I suspect you arent the first person to feel as you are feeling.

Chayne

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Post #: 10