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Tolerance for Pain - 6/24/2007 5:40:29 PM

EvaLass

Posts: 83
Joined: 5/4/2007
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I am seeking insights into the experience and management of pain. I have had a number of people tell me that a submissive's 's ability to tolerate and handle pain changes over time. For instance, let's say that a Dominant enjoys watching his submissive's reaction to pain. He likes to watch her writhe and squirm when he administers pain. She dislikes the pain but submits to it because he enjoys the reaction he gets from her; and he also rewards her during the infliction of pain by caressing, kissing, and holding her from time to time. In addition, she gets a pleasurable endorphin high a few hours later as compensation. In a specific scenario, he uses a thin graphite rod to hit the submissive's nipples several times while she is bound. This can hurt like all bloody hell, and on her pain scale it may be a 10. Why is her pain tolerance to something of this nature going to change over time? Someone told me that learning how to breathe can make a big difference in the perception of pain.

I have also heard and read that the brain tends to forget what pain feels like. So, submissive may experience significant pain from the graphite rod, but may participate in the exaxt same activity a few weeks later without recalling the severity of the original pain. She goes into it with an intellectual memory of the pain but has forgotten exactly how sharp it feels. Has this happened to anyone?

Finally, has anyone found that experiencing pain at the hands of a Dominant who is otherwise tender and gentle can be a bonding experience? And, if so, are there any inisghts that you would like to share about why and how this happens?

I have avoided using labels like "sadist" or "masochist" on purpose. Reasons and motivations for infiicting and receiving pain appear to vary among D/s couples, and the degree of pain administered is very subjective depending on the perception of both parties.

Post #: 1

RE: Tolerance for Pain - 6/24/2007 5:52:10 PM

IrishMist

Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
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quote:

I have had a number of people tell me that a submissive's 's ability to tolerate and handle pain changes over time.

Well, I would not really know about that but I would assume that it's most likely true in the sense that anyone/everyone's tolerance for certain kinds of pain fluctuates with the passing of the time. It could be that they learn to love more/different kinds of pain. It could be that it goes downward also; to the point that they can no longer tolerate pain.

/shrug

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RE: Tolerance for Pain - 6/24/2007 8:38:26 PM

leakylee

Posts: 747
Joined: 7/2/2004
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i know that my tolerance for impact is nearly gone. at one time i could take floggers, crops, canes for hours. now i beg out within 15-30 minutes. my ability to hit subspace from it is gone. the reasoning behind it is complicated and rather personal. but i have found that my tolerance for sharp pokee objects is greatly increased. throw a shocking expeirence with that and i am flying.

i truly do think that you flucuate over time. i cross my fingers that someday i will be able to have the out of body expeirence again, but until then i just cope and deal.

lee

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RE: Tolerance for Pain - 6/24/2007 8:54:21 PM

zindyslave

Posts: 601
Joined: 1/14/2007
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Some of the pain that was harsh for me at first isn't so now, clothespins used to hurt like hell, and now they don't they actually feel really good, but maybe that is because I seem to go into a sort of subspace more often now than I did before. I dunno it may have something to do with it.

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Post #: 4

RE: Tolerance for Pain - 6/24/2007 8:57:35 PM

sweetnurseBBW

Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
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There are definitely things I could not tolerate years ago and beg for now. My tolerance for pain depends on a few things, my mood, the severeness of what is inflicting pain , prior soreness that has not gone away before we begin again and the toy being used.

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Post #: 5

RE: Tolerance for Pain - 6/24/2007 10:10:31 PM

psykocloud

Posts: 50
Joined: 1/25/2006
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Yes this is true for me as well. For me to tolerarate the pain I start laughing/giggling while Sir is using whatever on me. We seem to believe it's a coping mechanism for me to get through the pain and tolerate the pain for HIM. When I do this, I start flying also, meaning he can hit me with what ever and it wouldn't matter so thats when he has to watch me carefully.

Some might be distracted by this but Sir doesn't seem to mind at all. He understands why I do this.

(in reply to sweetnurseBBW)

Post #: 6

RE: Tolerance for Pain - 6/24/2007 11:10:46 PM

velvetears

Posts: 2933
Joined: 6/19/2006
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i found that my toleration for pain is dependant on my emotional state of mind. One day i might howl at a tap while the next day i could take a beating to the point of bruising, welts, cuts and when he stops beg for more. How it is delivered is an important aspect to how it will feel. There were times my ex wanted the pain all for him so he knew exactly how to keep me out of that zone and in the agony he enjoyed me to be in for that time. Other times he loved seeing me go into that zone and he would indulge me. i found satisfaction from both and it was always his decision which way we went.

Another factor is how often and consistently the pain is delivered - the more pain experiences i have, the more pain i need inflicted to get to the same level. Sometimes when experiencing pain i can almost imediately be zoned out in sub space and other times i have to go through agony where i almost want to beg him to stop, then all of a sudden wham, it hits me, and then he can go on forever. In fact it is during these times a sub needs to really be able to rely on her dominant. He needs to be able to read her because there could be injury as she won't feel it, the dom needs to know when to stop.

i don't think my brain ever forgot what the pain felt like lol. In fact i can remember just how each implement that i experienced felt.

Experiencing pain with your dom who relishes inflicting it on you can be a very intense bonding experience. The energy of such an exchange is intoxicating, i have never felt so alive and connected to someone as much as when i was in a SM relationship with them. The peace and well being lasts for days, that floaty feeling of utter contentment, you just want it to last forever.

< Message edited by velvetears -- 6/24/2007 11:11:14 PM >

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Post #: 7

RE: Tolerance for Pain - 6/25/2007 2:10:14 AM

becca333

Posts: 1050
Joined: 4/11/2006
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I started as a total wimp. Then I started building a tolerance. Now suddenly I'm wimpy again.

I'm blaming hormones. We blame them for everything else.

With some specific implements I have built a tolerance. One stroke of the crop and I'm in subspace, the same for the lovely leather paddle. And the rubber paddle - I mourned when that one broke, it was so incredible.

But I can't take the cane. And I'm a wimp about a lot of other sensations. It seems to change over time, what I can take and what I can't. Still, it's fun to experiment, and work to build up a tolerance.

(in reply to velvetears)

Post #: 8

RE: Tolerance for Pain - 6/25/2007 6:14:32 AM

atendersoul

Posts: 167
Joined: 10/20/2006
Status: offline

Pain, oh the sweetness....
having been involved in this Way for many, many years....I have grown accustom to some types of it....and yes, it takes a little longer to arrive. Agree that it is also the emotional level that plays into how it is recieved.
I am a bit older than most here and experienced.
a tip please to all....beware of One that does not test before the pain. They are not aware of location of spine tips and damage can be forever.
play safe....play sane

(in reply to becca333)

Post #: 9

RE: Tolerance for Pain - 6/25/2007 7:10:40 AM

GhitaAmati

Posts: 3263
Joined: 5/30/2007
Status: offline

I know that sometimes my tolerance for pain depends on what time of the month it is.....

I think the more often we play, the longer it takes for me to hit subspace...if we havent played in a long time, it doesnt take much time at all...

(in reply to atendersoul)

Post #: 10

RE: Tolerance for Pain - 6/25/2007 7:49:05 AM

littleone35

Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
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Pain is something i have trouble handling i can take Master play spankings and if deserved a displine spanking other than that i have trouble with pain. I am glad Master does not give me much hardly any at all in fact. My old Dom liked pain so i was going to ask to be released because i could not take it.

Matt's littleone

(in reply to GhitaAmati)

Post #: 11

RE: Tolerance for Pain - 6/25/2007 8:24:07 AM

Celeste43

Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline

You can work up a tolerance for it. If you stop playing regularly you get to start all over though. Your tolerance may vary depending where you are in your cycle.

I find with approaching menopause that my tolerance has disappeared totally.

(in reply to littleone35)

Post #: 12

RE: Tolerance for Pain - 6/25/2007 1:09:39 PM

proudsub

Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline

quote:

I have also heard and read that the brain tends to forget what pain feels like. So, submissive may experience significant pain from the graphite rod, but may participate in the exaxt same activity a few weeks later without recalling the severity of the original pain. She goes into it with an intellectual memory of the pain but has forgotten exactly how sharp it feels. Has this happened to anyone?

Yes--when i had my first child i swore i would never do it again, but did 3 yrs later.

I crave erotic pain but hate my joint pain. When my first dom (online) asked if i liked pain i told him no, why would anyone like that? Then he told me to go put clothes pins on my nips for 20 sec. and i've never looked back, that completely turned me around on my opinion of erotic pain. The 20 sec. went up to about 20 minutes, so yes you do build up a tolerance, IMHO.

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(in reply to EvaLass)

Post #: 13

RE: Tolerance for Pain - 6/25/2007 2:09:26 PM

PoeticPrincess

Posts: 49
Joined: 10/21/2006
Status: offline

My first angle on pain was that, No! Its not for me. I do now have a good tolerance for some pain, breast clamps used to be agony but now I put them on myself sometimes because the sensation is wonderful. Crops and paddles, spanking, soft floggers are good, but never never the Cane. It is not within my tolerance. I think for me that the way in which the pain is inflicted and by whom is everything. Pain is worse when you are about to menstruate/menstruating, and worse if you are afraid or distrustful and cannot relax. Apparently the most effective form of pain relief is transquilisers. Thats why when Im tranquil it hurts less. And thats a bad thing.

(in reply to proudsub)

Post #: 14

RE: Tolerance for Pain - 6/26/2007 3:47:43 PM

twistedkytten

Posts: 240
Joined: 9/8/2006
Status: offline

Learning how to breathe, and remember to relax.. which when you are waiting for the next blow can be hard, I know..

(in reply to PoeticPrincess)

Post #: 15

RE: Tolerance for Pain - 6/26/2007 4:14:53 PM

slaveluci

Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: EvaLass
has anyone found that experiencing pain at the hands of a Dominant who is otherwise tender and gentle can be a bonding experience? And, if so, are there any inisghts that you would like to share about why and how this happens?

I have definitely found that experiencing pain at Master's hand is a beautiful bonding experience. I'm afraid I can't really describe why....it just is. I guess it's because He so thoroughly relishes hurting me and I thoroughly relish pleasing Him in any manner He chooses. I'm not what I believe most people would consider a real "pain slut" in the sense that it's not the pain I seek per se. It's pleasing Him that I seek to do and if that happens to involve pain, then so be it. I have grown to love some forms of the pain I'm exposed to (the strap, crop, cane and His Hands especially

) and it is a bonding experience because it is so intimate when He is hurting me - much more intimate to us than if we were merely having sex. I have no great insights, I suppose, it's just that I never feel more like His property than when I'm experiencing pain at His Hand.......slave luci

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Post #: 16

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