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RE: why do MISTRESSES ask for tributes ? - 6/28/2007 12:12:07 PM   
Bonafied


Posts: 16
Joined: 2/11/2007
Status: offline 		Stop...make a mental calculation. Sharpen your pencil, soon you will find paying a tribute is far less expensive then wining dinning entertaining and dating. In addition one generally gets exactly what the pay for. Think about the better way to spend your money and squander your time.

(in reply to stop352)
Profile   Post #: 101
RE: why do MISTRESSES ask for tributes ? - 6/28/2007 12:22:43 PM   
ObedientYYC


Posts: 80
Joined: 8/25/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Bonafied

Stop...make a mental calculation. Sharpen your pencil, soon you will find paying a tribute is far less expensive then wining dinning entertaining and dating. In addition one generally gets exactly what the pay for. Think about the better way to spend your money and squander your time.


Its not about the expense.. some of us just want more than a "transaction".  I'd rather pay more for traditional dating & courting than get involved in some sort of pay-to-play arrangement.

(in reply to Bonafied)
Profile   Post #: 102
RE: why do MISTRESSES ask for tributes ? - 6/28/2007 12:28:42 PM   
MsKatHouston


Posts: 1909
Joined: 6/7/2006
From: Houston, TX
Status: offline 		That's lovely and with anyone...I hope they get and seek out only that which they desire.  But when all someone wants is cyber play with no real interaction with one another, I can't understand why anyone would do it without getting paid.  I guess it baffles me as much as it baffles some about why those who do have physical interaction (and are not pros) require tribute. 

I guess I just can't see how any dominant would get something out of such fantasy play and if he finds it, more power to him.  But I seriously doubt he is going to find many (if any) dominants who are willing to completely cater only to his cyber fantasies and do so out of the kindness of their heart. 

_____________________________

-Kat

~If you can't be a good example, you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning~

(in reply to ObedientYYC)
Profile   Post #: 103
RE: why do MISTRESSES ask for tributes ? - 6/28/2007 12:29:05 PM   
Bonafied


Posts: 16
Joined: 2/11/2007
Status: offline 		Obedient: thank you for sharing your thoughts, mine differ but I truly respect your right to pursue happiness and completeness in your own way.

(in reply to ObedientYYC)
Profile   Post #: 104
RE: why do MISTRESSES ask for tributes ? - 6/28/2007 1:33:48 PM   
MissOchistic


Posts: 315
Joined: 4/30/2007
Status: offline 		I can think of a few reasons.

1) A faker is not likely to hand over any money, so a Domme knows those that pay tributes are for real.
2) The Domme feels that she is a creature worthy of tribute for the wonderous gift of a reply, or wishes to make potential subs feel that way.
3) The Domme gives something in return, but you won't know that unless you're the type to pay tribute.
4) The Domme puts the money towards something lovely for you both to enjoy :3
5) She's a greedy lady who sees an easy cash flow.

Sure, some are just after yer cash, but I can think of enough decent and noddable reasons for tributes that I give a Domme the BOTD.


_____________________________



"The amount i care for Thee
is more than two, but less than three."

"Submission is a potlatch."

(in reply to FullfigRIMaam)
Profile   Post #: 105
RE: why do MISTRESSES ask for tributes ? - 6/28/2007 1:49:47 PM   
openmindedslave


Posts: 470
Joined: 2/27/2005
Status: offline 		Okay a nice date                                           A prodom
you pick her up at her place                           You respond to an ad on colarme
You have small talk                                        tells you when shes free this week
you open the door for her                               You pay on paypal
you drive to the restaurant                               You show up
you have small talk                                          Fantasy fullfilled
you wait for the table                                       No judgement on her part
You have a drink                                           Time to meet -days, not weeks 
you have an apetizer                                       Price $$$
you talk about your day                                  Fantasys Satisfied -ONE( at least)
you figure out how you like each other
you have dinner
you talk some more
maybe desert
you pay the bill
you take her chair
you help her with the door leaving
You open the door to the car  for her
You drive to her place
you talk some more
she likes you ,you think
you like her, she thinks
you chance charing your ideas of bdsm
she is  not liking what you said
She says shes tired and wants you to go
You say good bye and leave
You have spent a nice evening with a great person ,
who now thinks your weird,
ands she will tell her girl friends the next day about you,
you pray that your lifestyle doesn't get out
Time involved 3 weeks to months to get to know her
Ruined in one evening
Price $$
Fantasys satisfied -zero

(in reply to MissOchistic)
Profile   Post #: 106
RE: why do MISTRESSES ask for tributes ? - 6/28/2007 2:08:55 PM   
MisPandora


Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ObedientYYC

Its not about the expense.. some of us just want more than a "transaction".  I'd rather pay more for traditional dating & courting than get involved in some sort of pay-to-play arrangement.

Did you ever consider for one moment that there are fellows out there who would prefer the transactional variety over having to date/court?  Pay to play works for some, otherwise, there wouldn't be a market for prodoms.  Married men, guys who don't want lasting relations or who don't want the trappings or "chains" that come with courting one of us non-pros all have valid needs and desires.  If they choose to go the pro/tribute route, how does that trouble you? 

It seems that the guys who get themselves in an uproar about tributes could better focus their time and efforts on what they're doing to attact those who solicit tributes or on seeking out someone who sincerely desires a relationship.  There are enough "options" for everyone.

_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to ObedientYYC)
Profile   Post #: 107
RE: why do MISTRESSES ask for tributes ? - 6/28/2007 2:19:59 PM   
ObedientYYC


Posts: 80
Joined: 8/25/2006
Status: offline 		Well pro-dommes (and "tribute dommes") wouldn't exist if there wasn't a genuine need out there, and there is nothing wrong with that.   Its just not for me.

(in reply to openmindedslave)
Profile   Post #: 108
RE: why do MISTRESSES ask for tributes ? - 6/28/2007 2:27:57 PM   
MisPandora


Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: openmindedslave

Then let me ask this question..for those who have made it clear that they want or expect tribute...Do subs/slaves ,show up more  often or do what they say, because they tribute or is there really no difference.?...

I just read a prodoms blog the otherday onanother site,,and she complained about the fact that she traveled to Cleveland for sessions and no one showed up at all. So if they paid ahead of time at least she had that to show for her expenses,,,but still ..

I don't think there is much of a difference if you're not getting the money or at least a deposit up front. 

Men are still men -- they call/email/IM with their fantasies and make the arrangements.  They sit at home or at work or in their car and play out the fantasy in their head.  They usually get off.  Their need has been sated and they no longer desire to do whatever it is that they've arranged, so they don't show up.

That's just one example.  There are others where masturbation doesn't come into play.  He simply writes a large check that his ass cannot cash, and he doesn't show.  It could be money, it could be chicken, it could be guilt.....who knows.  The sad part is that the woman NEVER knows, and has to go back and try again (pro or non-pro) and doesn't have anything to base a change in practice on other than his characteristic behaviors.  Some of those might likely strike out sincere subs.

_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to openmindedslave)
Profile   Post #: 109
RE: why do MISTRESSES ask for tributes ? - 6/28/2007 2:30:37 PM   
letmebeyours


Posts: 1
Joined: 4/4/2005
Status: offline 		Because dumbasses will pay it. I personally think it takes away the power of the Domme because the submissive now can call the shots. As the old saying goes, "He who pays the piper gets to pick the tune." If the Domme does not do as the subbie wishes, he'll just find somone else. At least that's my opinion.

(in reply to ObedientYYC)
Profile   Post #: 110
RE: why do MISTRESSES ask for tributes ? - 6/28/2007 2:38:34 PM   
nydeviant


Posts: 6
Joined: 6/28/2006
Status: offline 		why do mistresses ask for tributes? because dungeons/dungeon time/house dues cost money. toys and equipment cost money. clothing that their clients wish to see them in costs money.

if I were nice enough to fulfill some guy's fantasy of being bent over a padded bench and flogged by a school-girl clad pro-domme, you're damn right I'm going to want to at least break even....

(in reply to letmebeyours)
Profile   Post #: 111
RE: why do MISTRESSES ask for tributes ? - 6/28/2007 2:42:28 PM   
ObedientYYC


Posts: 80
Joined: 8/25/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MisPandora

quote:

ORIGINAL: ObedientYYC

Its not about the expense.. some of us just want more than a "transaction".  I'd rather pay more for traditional dating & courting than get involved in some sort of pay-to-play arrangement.

Did you ever consider for one moment that there are fellows out there who would prefer the transactional variety over having to date/court?  Pay to play works for some, otherwise, there wouldn't be a market for prodoms.  Married men, guys who don't want lasting relations or who don't want the trappings or "chains" that come with courting one of us non-pros all have valid needs and desires.  If they choose to go the pro/tribute route, how does that trouble you? 

It seems that the guys who get themselves in an uproar about tributes could better focus their time and efforts on what they're doing to attact those who solicit tributes or on seeking out someone who sincerely desires a relationship.  There are enough "options" for everyone.


I did say "some of us" prefer non-transactional.   I was just voicing my own opinion, and I'm not sure how this got interpreted as condemning all paying type subs.

I think I should just stop posting on these forums, or at least avoid all controversial topics.  .  Its just so incredibly easy to offend others,  and that isn't good for anyone.

(in reply to MisPandora)
Profile   Post #: 112
RE: why do MISTRESSES ask for tributes ? - 6/28/2007 2:52:27 PM   
GoddessinDallas


Posts: 57
Joined: 11/25/2006
Status: offline 		Why do subs want something for nothing?

(in reply to stop352)
Profile   Post #: 113
RE: why do MISTRESSES ask for tributes ? - 6/28/2007 4:42:33 PM   
Politesub53


Posts: 14862
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessinDallas

Why do subs want something for nothing?


Hi Ma`am, with respect i dont think that because a submissive says he doesn`t like the idea of tributes, that it follows he expects something for nothing. Some will just prefer to be in a relationship where a tribute is not required.

(in reply to GoddessinDallas)
Profile   Post #: 114
RE: why do MISTRESSES ask for tributes ? - 6/28/2007 4:46:13 PM   
MisPandora


Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ObedientYYC

quote:

ORIGINAL: MisPandora

quote:

ORIGINAL: ObedientYYC

Its not about the expense.. some of us just want more than a "transaction".  I'd rather pay more for traditional dating & courting than get involved in some sort of pay-to-play arrangement.

Did you ever consider for one moment that there are fellows out there who would prefer the transactional variety over having to date/court?  Pay to play works for some, otherwise, there wouldn't be a market for prodoms.  Married men, guys who don't want lasting relations or who don't want the trappings or "chains" that come with courting one of us non-pros all have valid needs and desires.  If they choose to go the pro/tribute route, how does that trouble you? 

It seems that the guys who get themselves in an uproar about tributes could better focus their time and efforts on what they're doing to attact those who solicit tributes or on seeking out someone who sincerely desires a relationship.  There are enough "options" for everyone.


I did say "some of us" prefer non-transactional.   I was just voicing my own opinion, and I'm not sure how this got interpreted as condemning all paying type subs.

I think I should just stop posting on these forums, or at least avoid all controversial topics.  .  Its just so incredibly easy to offend others,  and that isn't good for anyone.


Who is offended?  You apparently.  Relax.  It's a DISCUSSION board.   It's for intelligent discourse, and yes, people will disagree with you and express their opinions.

_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to ObedientYYC)
Profile   Post #: 115
RE: why do MISTRESSES ask for tributes ? - 6/28/2007 4:47:09 PM   
Politesub53


Posts: 14862
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: letmebeyours

Because dumbasses will pay it. I personally think it takes away the power of the Domme because the submissive now can call the shots. As the old saying goes, "He who pays the piper gets to pick the tune." If the Domme does not do as the subbie wishes, he'll just find somone else. At least that's my opinion.


Two misconceptions here, and this is just my opinion, some guys prefer to pay, that doesnt make them dumbasses, its just their way of doing things. Secondly, i don`t think that a woman who is assertive enough to be a Pro Domme will ever let a guy take control of the situation. Sure She maybe willing to fill a fantasy role for someone, but even then it will be on Her terms. i would expect all of them have rules, break them and you`re history, cash or no cash.

(in reply to letmebeyours)
Profile   Post #: 116
RE: why do MISTRESSES ask for tributes ? - 6/28/2007 11:07:37 PM   
ObedientYYC


Posts: 80
Joined: 8/25/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MisPandora

quote:

ORIGINAL: ObedientYYC

quote:

ORIGINAL: MisPandora

quote:

ORIGINAL: ObedientYYC

Its not about the expense.. some of us just want more than a "transaction".  I'd rather pay more for traditional dating & courting than get involved in some sort of pay-to-play arrangement.

Did you ever consider for one moment that there are fellows out there who would prefer the transactional variety over having to date/court?  Pay to play works for some, otherwise, there wouldn't be a market for prodoms.  Married men, guys who don't want lasting relations or who don't want the trappings or "chains" that come with courting one of us non-pros all have valid needs and desires.  If they choose to go the pro/tribute route, how does that trouble you? 

It seems that the guys who get themselves in an uproar about tributes could better focus their time and efforts on what they're doing to attact those who solicit tributes or on seeking out someone who sincerely desires a relationship.  There are enough "options" for everyone.


I did say "some of us" prefer non-transactional.   I was just voicing my own opinion, and I'm not sure how this got interpreted as condemning all paying type subs.

I think I should just stop posting on these forums, or at least avoid all controversial topics.  .  Its just so incredibly easy to offend others,  and that isn't good for anyone.


Who is offended?  You apparently.  Relax.  It's a DISCUSSION board.   It's for intelligent discourse, and yes, people will disagree with you and express their opinions.


Actually I think these kind of recurring controversial topics (such as tributes, weight issues, etc.) tend to generate emotional discourse, not intelligent discourse.   It may be good for people to vent, but I don't think anyone ends up being particularly enlightened or enriched.

(in reply to MisPandora)
Profile   Post #: 117
RE: why do MISTRESSES ask for tributes ? - 6/28/2007 11:15:11 PM   
Evanesce


Posts: 2325
Joined: 9/14/2005
Status: offline 		What?  We had another tribute thread and I missed it again????  Damn! 
 
Why can't I ever find a slave wanting to give me tribute?  All I ever seem to find are the do-me wannabe whiners who expect me to wear black latex and follow 'em around with a whip all freakin' day to make sure they do what I've told them to do.  I've got WORK to do!  Sheesh! 

_____________________________

Denise

Give a slave what he truly needs, and he will do what you want.

"There's never a hero in a battle of ego." - Big & Rich


(in reply to ObedientYYC)
Profile   Post #: 118
RE: why do MISTRESSES ask for tributes ? - 6/29/2007 12:25:04 AM   
RchmdServiceNeed


Posts: 36
Joined: 3/5/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Politesub53

quote:

ORIGINAL: letmebeyours

Because dumbasses will pay it. I personally think it takes away the power of the Domme because the submissive now can call the shots. As the old saying goes, "He who pays the piper gets to pick the tune." If the Domme does not do as the subbie wishes, he'll just find somone else. At least that's my opinion.


Two misconceptions here, and this is just my opinion, some guys prefer to pay, that doesnt make them dumbasses, its just their way of doing things. Secondly, i don`t think that a woman who is assertive enough to be a Pro Domme will ever let a guy take control of the situation. Sure She maybe willing to fill a fantasy role for someone, but even then it will be on Her terms. i would expect all of them have rules, break them and you`re history, cash or no cash.



Absolutely!
1. I only take subs who's activity interests match my own. Money would not be enough for me to be doing things [especially of a dom/sub nature] that bothered me or I was not interested in. I like that I can provide a physically and mentally safe place for people to come and live out a fantasy and explore themselves which other-wise might not be an option for them. You only live once!

I don't think ANY Pro-domme could do it for very long [ie:more than a week] if she didn't have some interest and enjoyment from it, it would get old quick and quite frankly the money would not be enough. It may seem like a high rate, but when you put together the prep,clean up, work costs, and frustrations: believe me, no one is doing it *just* for money, they would have to be enjoying it on some level.

2. No guy takes control of the situation. There are definately rules-- I just say what they are so no one has to guess. ;) I am definately in control and make the rules.
However, with ALL D/s the sub is generally setting some limits and those are still honored. Generally people find people that have similar kinks as them and want the same activities so how is this so different? In non-paid domination the male still seeks out and CHOOSES a Female domme that will do what he is wanting anyway, who's interests match.
For me, getting those sweet little subbie whimpers is what I want-- How we get there is up for some imput. ;) lol, I have really enjoyed trying new things, at the request of some subs and found it very enjoyable to try things a new way that they were wanting. They got what they wanted and I got to try out something new too and them helping que me to their ques really helps too. [of course done pre-session]
You have to be open to learning from others and part of respecting a sub in general is respecting their opinion as well-- same as paid or non-paid -- you can learn something from a sub just as easy as a domme.

Paid or non-paid has nothing to do with it!-- As ALways: the sub is always in some amount of control by setting limits and choosing a domme to interact with and you'd be a silly domme not to listen to their needs and intelligence when appropriote.

(in reply to Politesub53)
Profile   Post #: 119
RE: why do MISTRESSES ask for tributes ? - 6/29/2007 4:51:31 AM   
cjenny


Posts: 1736
Joined: 11/27/2006
Status: offline 		RchmdServiceNeed,
Thanks for your explanation on this matter, and thank you as well to the others.
I have to admit I still don't quite 'get' it but thats okay lol.
What I think I've learned:

It seems to me that those that require upfront cash are not interested in a personal or long term relationship.

There have been many threads saying that the sub ought to have their own toys as a safety matter (so why pay for wear and tear on the femdoms toys?).

There are those that require a totally different sort of tribute, that of time invested in learning about the person they are trying to initiate contact with rather than cash. An emotional investment.

Hopefully I will continue to learn.

Thanks everyone!


_____________________________

*Unless I cite a source it is MO.


~ ssssh. i think i've just found freedom. ~

(in reply to RchmdServiceNeed)
Profile   Post #: 120
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