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fillepink -> RE: Big Sigh (6/11/2005 12:55:33 PM)
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thanks to E/everyone who posted a reply...Y/you're very kind..and MsSilvie made my laugh out loud! o yes..after many months i found the "block user" key; and life did improve..for some odd reason i am the darling of the sadists, who write the most beautiful letters; i wish the site allowed me to keep all my email and to forward email; some of the letters are worth publishing. the sadists promise They will never do anything to hurt me if i do not wish it..i am no fool; They will not give up s/m just for me.
i have another question, which i also journaled but which will not be available until my profile is reviewed.
i am seeking a long term relationship...i hope to wear only one collar in all my life. so i care about whether the man i am in contact with is someone i could respect to that degree. the men, on the other hand, want to cyber and have phone sex. i am confused. i am told real Doms have good manners at all times, and this seems rude; to ask a woman You have just met to cyber. on the other hand, i am also told that D/s is not like vanilla, and here, it is important to find out whether O/our kinks match first. it's hard for me, because i'm a novice..and would do what my Dom asked..so i have really no "kinks" to offer apart from liking role playing, light bondage, wax play, oral sex and SEX, laughing.
so how do i ever turn the conversation to what i care about -- His character? integrity, confidence, compassion, kindness, faithful, not bigoted, votes, self-control, financally responsible (whether pauper or prince), loving, and so forth?
in addition, i feel strongly that a real life meeting -- actually a series of them -- is the only way to really know a Man. i have been lied to so many times, and i have been so alert; it's just impossible to know online and by phone what is true. i'm not saying IM and phone are useless; of course they come first; and most people have restrictions based on cost that prevent travel; but i feel the relationship does not start until the Man is here, in real life.
one of the kind people who wrote said she found no munches, etc in cleveland; actually there are some; although i have probably lost the information. a married couple offered to take me right before i started dating a Dom; so i did not go; and now their profile is in suspense. i cannot go alone; i just cannot. i have a friend in the next county i am hoping will agree to take me eventually but i have been asking for months. and the other problem is -- i want to leave cleveland -- so i do not want to find my Dom here. but i'd love to make friends in the lifestyle, in real life.
i am amazed so many people wrote so quickly; i guess this is a "hot button" issue for many people. i am not only sighing because of the inappropriate people who have written me; but also because i think in all the time i have been here, i have probably spoken to only a few real Doms and i wonder what i am doing wrong; how should i change my profile; i genuinely do want a collar; i am not here to hurt A/anyone by playing a game; i wish i knew the magic words to entice real Doms to contact me. Many Blessings on all who added to the thread.
[image]local://upfiles/72910/5AC6A3FB993947C9B778B9A231DFBD1C.jpg[/image]
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