RE: To train or not to train....?

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RE: To train or not to train....? - 6/28/2007 12:47:43 AM

LadyHeart

Posts: 561
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I take a different tack. I put a submissive to the test right from the outset, because I believe that we begin as we mean to go on. I only talk to local bois, and I limit my email exchanges with them to a bare minimum. I have a wealth of information on my profile that I require to them to peruse before they reply to me, so they have a really good idea of where I'm coming from. I then organise a meeting the same week we make the initial contact, and make them aware that they will be meeting my husband, because if they can't cross that bridge they are not for me. It has netted me very successful results, as I am experienced enough to know what questions to ask, and to suss out what kind of submission they are offering. I have found that moving quickly has resulted in a very effective first meeting where we exchange all the information we need to make a start with, and I try to arrange a first play session as soon as possible thereafter, to capitalize on that initial energy exchange. For me, this approach works well. Many submissives seem to "go cold" if things move too slowly. It sounds as though I rush, but I am actually quite thorough, and I fully admit that this approach wouldn't work for everyone. But it's the opposite side of the on line coin, so I thought it might balance the equation a bit, as we have to operate in ways that fit our personality type. I have a job in which I am constantly delving into people's psyches, so this way of doing things comes naturally to me.
:))
LH

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RE: To train or not to train....? - 6/28/2007 1:14:06 AM

ocilla

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Oooo I like your approach Lady Heart! Makes me feel a bit bolder about meeting sooner. Thanks!

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Ocilla

Nature is not a place to visit. It is home.
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It takes a kinky village...

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RE: To train or not to train....? - 6/28/2007 1:53:26 AM

LadyHeart

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Joined: 5/7/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ocilla

Oooo I like your approach Lady Heart! Makes me feel a bit bolder about meeting sooner. Thanks!

Glad it struck a chord. I can understand someone like DiannaVesta taking a long time to find the right person, because she is looking for someone very specific who is wanting long term 24/7. When I was looking for my Master I was VERY patient because that was what I wanted too.

With submissives I am looking for something quite different. I am looking for people whose play style matches mine and with whom I can share some fun. But I need their commitment to show up, to learn and to develop a good working bond between us. That's why I make them jump some fences quite early - to show me that they really want it too. We're all doing the same thing in different ways.

:))
LH

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RE: To train or not to train....? - 6/28/2007 6:44:15 AM

Ayanaev717

Posts: 72
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Hmm. Again some very good insight. I can see taking the long look at someone before jumping the fence and also making the submissive more accountable, by testing the waters. Like this potential I am speaking too, I want him to know that I am serious but I am also understanable about life situations. All too often we push our agenda forgetting that outside our world- others have a life too. Also, I do not want him to get off on my test. As someone said, they get pleasure and sexual gratification from the online test to them it is "online play", and therefore never move towards a serious point.

As I write more I see somethings I need to reflect upon. Like being chased. I am so use to getting what I want. Walking right out there and snatching it away. I am not use to someone actually coming to me- and I think this is the most important thing I have learned in this thread this far. Being chased is just as good as chasing. But sometimes you have to make them work and then keep them working.

Always,

A

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