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De-sensitized - 6/11/2005 6:25:06 PM

KarbonCopy

Posts: 779
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Lately I've come to a conclusion about myself.

Before I realized I was into this kind of lifestyle, I always found myself more attracted to the more "darker" side of sex. (Leather, whips, chains, etc.) I didnt know what this meant for me, I just figured it was a prefrence.

After comming to grips with this, learning more about the lifestyle, and getting the chance to actually experience it, I've found that I am now 100% de-sensitized to any other forms of sexual imagry.

Nothing else gets me turned on in the slightest.
Strippers? Nothing (unless their the naughty girl in leather type)
Girls at the club? Nothing (except for the goth night club down the road, that one kicks ass, lots of D/s people there)

Its either this or NOTHING for me.

Does this lifestyle de-sensitize you to the other weak sissy crap? Or have my taste for pain just evolved me as a sexual creature?

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RE: De-sensitized - 6/11/2005 6:48:03 PM

AAkasha

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Joined: 11/27/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: KarbonCopy

Lately I've come to a conclusion about myself.

Before I realized I was into this kind of lifestyle, I always found myself more attracted to the more "darker" side of sex. (Leather, whips, chains, etc.) I didnt know what this meant for me, I just figured it was a prefrence.

After comming to grips with this, learning more about the lifestyle, and getting the chance to actually experience it, I've found that I am now 100% de-sensitized to any other forms of sexual imagry.

Nothing else gets me turned on in the slightest.
Strippers? Nothing (unless their the naughty girl in leather type)
Girls at the club? Nothing (except for the goth night club down the road, that one kicks ass, lots of D/s people there)

Its either this or NOTHING for me.

Does this lifestyle de-sensitize you to the other weak sissy crap? Or have my taste for pain just evolved me as a sexual creature?

It's a bit arrogant to consider vanilla sex or imagery "weak sissy crap" simply because you're not able to get off on it. Some may hold the point of view that this is actually a drawback, and that your sexuality and ability to get erect or excited is now trapped in a kinky box -- like Pavlov's dog, there will be no reaction with out the right stimulus.

Does that make you bad-ass, or better than vanilla? Or is it possibly crippling?

I still get extremely turned on by some things that have nothing to do with kink. It will be nice to know that years down the road I can still make love without dragging out a ton of gear, or making my partner feel like it's not him that turns my crank, it's the fetish I've dressed him up in.

Akasha

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Post #: 2

RE: De-sensitized - 6/11/2005 7:00:56 PM

RiotGirl

Posts: 3149
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quote:

Its either this or NOTHING for me.

Funny, i heard this somewhere, but more in the lines of a warning. i had turned 18 just days before and was FINALLY at a kink club. Dont ask who, how or when, (atleast i know where) cos the memory is fuzzy, but i remember the words (or atleast the concept). "Careful you dont get in over your head, because once your in you wont want to go back. " Basically, i was heading into something there was no turning back from. The door got locked behind you, and you are officially Kinked. It isnt possible for you to be vanilla, so i hope your happy where you are! (did that statement make you want to go out and prove me wrong?)

So basically LOLOLOLOL you are what i was warned about 7 years ago.

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Post #: 3

RE: De-sensitized - 6/11/2005 7:10:20 PM

Voltare

Posts: 841
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: Santiago, Chile
Status: offline

Not to rain on any parades, but....

Like Riotgirl, I remember the not toooo distant past, where sex was an 'all or nothing' sort of experience. I also remember that at 18, 19, 20, 21.... that sex was something I thought I knew almost everything I needed to know. Then at 22, 23, 24, I learned the rules completely changed. Again at 26, 27, 28, not only the rules changed, but my expectations changed. My appetite has changed, my interests have changed, and - like it or not - I've changed.

For the Opening Poster, this may sound like the same garbled crap that you've probably heard since you were five years old, that as you get older things will seem different, blah blah... I say this, because those were my exact words at 20. What I will suggest, though, probably isn't so common. Enjoy yourself. Enjoy that goth club, enjoy the kinky strippers in leather, and enjoy every minute you have to enjoy yourself with. At the same time, try to remember to enjoy the non-kink aspects of your life. Just because a girl likes to be bound in leather and chains doesn't mean she doesn't like candle lit dinners (on the table, not on her nipples.) Just because whips turn you on doesn't mean pretty flowers are pointless. There's a fine line between enjoying the life you live, and becoming obsessed with the lifestyle you are beginning to walk down. The former will bring you infinately more enjoyment. The latter will probably either keep you stuck in chat rooms 14 hours a day, or in a county jail.

Best of luck, and enjoy yourself!

Stephan

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RE: De-sensitized - 6/11/2005 9:00:40 PM

MistressFire70

Posts: 378
Joined: 7/25/2004
From: North Carolina
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There are many people who will argue that kink/Leather is actually a sexual orientation, like gay, bi or lesbian. I'm not sure if I agree, but I will say that what turns some on will not turn others on. You may think vanilla is boring but a lot of vanillas are disgusted by what we do. Accepting each other or at least being tolerant is really the only answer if we wish to maintain respect.

Fire

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Post #: 5

RE: De-sensitized - 6/11/2005 9:28:26 PM

anthrosub

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I wouldn't worry about becoming de-sensitized. At your age, you have an entire adult life ahead of you. Nobody...not even you...can say what lies in store exactly but there are some general things that can be said. It's different for each of us and depends a lot on what experiences we have along the way.

When I was 19, sex was so powerful I found myself wondering if it was some kind of natural drug. I didn't know how close I was to this being the truth as I had no knowledge of hormones. My sexual intensity lasted until I was around 40 before I noticed a distinct change taking place. Now at 50, I can still get excited, but not at the drop of a hat like I used to.

Your current focus is likely a strong impression that's been made upon you and will last until you either tire of it, it fades, or something stronger overshadows it. Enjoy what you have and try not to hold onto anything too tightly. All things change eventually and like it or not, one day sex will start becoming more of a background than a foreground concern in your life.

anthrosub

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Post #: 6

RE: De-sensitized - 6/11/2005 9:31:38 PM

Lordandmaster

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And they say they're not missing hockey in Canada...

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Post #: 7

RE: De-sensitized - 6/11/2005 9:49:06 PM

RandBcouple

Posts: 86
Joined: 5/19/2005
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It's been my experience that once i went "kink" i could never go back...lol.
BDSM totally changed my entire perception of sex, and many things in general. i "discovered" it when i was about 25, i am 31 now. Upto that point sex was something shameful in my eyes...something i never felt comfortable talking about. i lost my virginity at age 21, so i was definately a late bloomer by todays standards. Once i discovered this about myself, that i am submissive and that this lifestyle even existed, it just opened my eyes and mind to a point that to go back to just vanilla sex and a vanilla relationship seems impossible for me at this point. i have been *very* de-sensitized to many things since i began exploring bdsm....at first i remember having all these different emotions rush through me at every new image or story i'd read, i'd go from instant disgust, to curiousity, to interest, to just loooooooving it! lol what i found strange back then is pretty normal to me now. What was normal to me then is just plain boring to me now.

~hugs~
Ruffneck's babygirl

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Post #: 8

RE: De-sensitized - 6/12/2005 1:06:29 AM

EmeraldSlave2

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Joined: 1/1/2004
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I LOVE strippers and clubs! I went out to a bunch tonight and had myself a fine time drooling over the eye-candy.

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Post #: 9

RE: De-sensitized - 6/12/2005 1:55:40 AM

ElektraUkM

Posts: 309
Joined: 2/19/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Voltare

"...try to remember to enjoy the non-kink aspects of your life. Just because a girl likes to be bound in leather and chains doesn't mean she doesn't like candle lit dinners (on the table, not on her nipples.) Just because whips turn you on doesn't mean pretty flowers are pointless...

Absolutely.

Actually, when I finally found Master and all the joy of being with someone who was JUST AS kinky as me

... it became less important to be doing that sort of stuff all the time... Like, as it was there, available and do-able... it wasn't as big an issue as it had been. All the other romantic, sensual, 'vanilla', things took on some kind of new importance because they were shared with HIM.

~ Elektra

(in reply to Voltare)

Post #: 10

RE: De-sensitized - 6/12/2005 6:42:43 AM

LadyAngelika

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Joined: 7/4/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

And they say they're not missing hockey in Canada...

I certainly am not! All those hockey players need something else to do to fill up their evenings <weg> and trust me, I give them quite a work out!

- LA

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Post #: 11

RE: De-sensitized - 6/12/2005 6:49:13 AM

MsIncognito

Posts: 742
Joined: 5/24/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: KarbonCopy

Does this lifestyle de-sensitize you to the other weak sissy crap? Or have my taste for pain just evolved me as a sexual creature?

I'd say neither. It sounds to me like this lifestyle has limited and narrowed your options for sexual expression and pleasure. I personally enjoy a more varied sex life now than I did before I explored kinky options. I'd never want to be so narrowly focused that I'd no longer find pleasure and joy in a lover's touch, a whisper in my ear or slow, sensual love making. Seems like a real pity, actually.

< Message edited by MsIncognito -- 6/12/2005 6:52:28 AM >

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Post #: 12

RE: De-sensitized - 6/12/2005 10:20:05 AM

KarbonCopy

Posts: 779
Status: offline

Aakasha: I'm sorry, probably shouldnt have come off so arrogant. I suppose my point was, when I see vanilla, or when its around me, I'm completely un interested. It comes off as lame, or boring.
And no, I'm not trying to come off as badass, Its more along the lines of the fact that it is crippling. This is a problem for me. Its like being a junkie.

LordandMaster: I dont like hockey ;) but this country is kinda suffering for it. I turned on the sports channel by accident, and they were showing Cricket. . . . . *shudder*

Anthrosub: I understand what you're saying about people changing. Its like your tastebuds, they almost seem to evolve, and your tastes change.
But in this point in my life, I've found it to be almost a problem that the only thing that even interests me is that imagry.

The refrence to kink as being a form of sexuality, like gay, lesbian, bi etc. That almost feels like what it is.

Its like some freaky bad dream (not really that bad) that I cannot awaken from. And I dont want to.
Luckily my fiancee is into it as well and almost as point of no return as I am, so its not like I dont have an outlet. (I dont have to be stuck on internet chat rooms.

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RE: De-sensitized - 6/12/2005 10:58:54 AM

ElektraUkM

Posts: 309
Joined: 2/19/2005
Status: offline

Is it something you're worried about..?

You talk about 'sexual imagery' and girls at clubs, films etc. ... perhaps your experience would match those of us posting here more if you were in a one-on-one relationship with someone?

~ Elektra

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Post #: 14

RE: De-sensitized - 6/12/2005 11:44:44 AM

AAkasha

Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

And they say they're not missing hockey in Canada...

I certainly am not! All those hockey players need something else to do to fill up their evenings <weg> and trust me, I give them quite a work out!

- LA

I'd love to join you for a little of that action. Oh, my.

Hockey withdrawal.

Bigtime.

Akasha
(who has another site, www.hockeyerotica.com -- ahem, yep).

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RE: De-sensitized - 6/12/2005 1:03:58 PM

KarbonCopy

Posts: 779
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ElektraUkM

Is it something you're worried about..?

You talk about 'sexual imagery' and girls at clubs, films etc. ... perhaps your experience would match those of us posting here more if you were in a one-on-one relationship with someone?

~ Elektra

Might I point you towards my profile? Please read first.

< Message edited by KarbonCopy -- 6/12/2005 1:34:13 PM >

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RE: De-sensitized - 6/12/2005 10:09:54 PM

testlimit

Posts: 47
Joined: 6/11/2005
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It's actually a complicated question. It really depends on what you "get off on." If it's the "risqueness" of the acts/images, then yes it's likely the lifestyle, which embraces pretty much everything risque to one degree or another, would desensitize you to other, more "vanilla" things. If it's something else...the intimacy of the thing, or some other aspect, then no.

It all really just depends on how you look at things. Take a couple holding hands. A simple everyday sight, almost meaningless it's so common. Usually it's of no real signfigance whatsoever. But what if you knew that the girl was extremely repressed, very body shy, felt totally awkward about touching of any kind and touching in public generally horrified her. But there she is, calmly, peacefully holding her lover's hand. Now is that enough to soak your rubber panties? No, but do you see how even such a simple thing can take on greater signifigance?

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RE: De-sensitized - 6/12/2005 10:54:02 PM

asissyforher

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From: iowa now..maybe move soon.
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Does this lifestyle de-sensitize you to the other weak sissy crap? Or have my taste for pain just evolved me as a sexual creature?

for me personally? no. but then, vanilla sex for me, personally, always was a let down. i have never met one vanilla female i can brag about.
and as to d/s sex? it is not a reality. i am 100% celebate since 2001. so i am not, into this, for sex. sorry.
thanks
a sissy, under consideration

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Post #: 18

RE: De-sensitized - 6/13/2005 5:08:41 AM

ElektraUkM

Posts: 309
Joined: 2/19/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: KarbonCopy

quote:

ORIGINAL: ElektraUkM

Is it something you're worried about..?

You talk about 'sexual imagery' and girls at clubs, films etc. ... perhaps your experience would match those of us posting here more if you were in a one-on-one relationship with someone?

~ Elektra

Might I point you towards my profile? Please read first.

You're right, I could have avoided that part of the question if I'd read your profile. My apologies. Having read it, I'd agree with some of the other responders here that it's far to early in both your life, and your relationship for it to be a matter of concern.

Of course, if it's something you really are worried about (you didn't say) then people here can probably help you with that.

~ Elektra

(in reply to KarbonCopy)

Post #: 19

RE: De-sensitized - 6/13/2005 5:45:21 AM

BeachMystress

Posts: 2156
Joined: 4/3/2004
From: Naples Island- Long Beach CA - Southern California
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For me, I find that vanilla sex and sexual images are not overly stimulating to me any longer. I have a femsub friend who says that vanilla sex isn't worth getting undressed for anymore.

My husband and I went to see Zumanity in Las Vegas this past week and were very disappointed. It is supposed to be so hot and naughty and erotic; I was BORED! It was so tame to me that I was yawning by the end. Yeah.. I'd say I'm desensitized.

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Post #: 20

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