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how many times do we say sub not stupid - 6/27/2007 4:44:22 PM

frazzle40

Posts: 56
Joined: 6/11/2006
Status: offline

How many times do we say, im sub not stupid. then become stupid.

6 missed meets, all reasons very plausable.        Had someone else posted this, i'd have laughed. Said gullible idiot.

Yes i have the home phone number, he has mine.     When i look now at some of the excuses they make me laugh,       but i fell, hook line and sinker.

Lets say we need to take a reality check, if someone else was going through what youre going through, what would you say.        Exactly forget it.        So easy to give advice very hard to take it.

Sorry wasnt a question there, just a pause for thought.

Post #: 1

RE: how many times do we say sub not stupid - 6/27/2007 5:23:43 PM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

You gave someone SIX chances? Who's stupid here?

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“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to frazzle40)

Post #: 2

RE: how many times do we say sub not stupid - 6/27/2007 5:28:03 PM

amiciaN

Posts: 228
Joined: 1/20/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: frazzle40

How many times do we say, im sub not stupid. then become stupid.

6 missed meets, all reasons very plausable.        Had someone else posted this, i'd have laughed. Said gullible idiot.

Yes i have the home phone number, he has mine.     When i look now at some of the excuses they make me laugh,       but i fell, hook line and sinker.

Lets say we need to take a reality check, if someone else was going through what youre going through, what would you say.        Exactly forget it.        So easy to give advice very hard to take it.

Sorry wasnt a question there, just a pause for thought.

Been there, done that too.

<gives you a hug, polishes up the "Submissive, Not Stupid" button that you got at 'subbie orientation'

and carefully pins it back on, figuring you've had to deal with a nasty little prick already>

< Message edited by amiciaN -- 6/27/2007 5:30:13 PM >

_____________________________

NChaka's amicia

I have never been lifted so high as when I kneel at His feet.

(in reply to frazzle40)

Post #: 3

RE: how many times do we say sub not stupid - 6/27/2007 5:32:25 PM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me once, shame on me.
My motto, and one you might want to practice. I am all for giving someone a second change. But, 3 strikes and you are out.

I dont think it was necessarily stupid, it MIGHT have been your not wanting to believe anyone could really be that bad. Sometimes, we see what we want to in someone.

Now, no harm no foul. You missed meetings, but youve learned. You didnt suffer any loss from the missed meets, and aside from a bruised ego you are none the worse for wear.

Dust off, and next tiem, no matter how much you want to believe someone really isnt that bad... remember the motto

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice shame on me.

DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to amiciaN)

Post #: 4

RE: how many times do we say sub not stupid - 6/27/2007 5:59:28 PM

gypsygrl

Posts: 1471
Joined: 10/8/2005
From: new york state
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: frazzle40

How many times do we say, im sub not stupid. then become stupid.

6 missed meets, all reasons very plausable.        Had someone else posted this, i'd have laughed. Said gullible idiot.

Yes i have the home phone number, he has mine.     When i look now at some of the excuses they make me laugh,       but i fell, hook line and sinker.

Lets say we need to take a reality check, if someone else was going through what youre going through, what would you say.        Exactly forget it.        So easy to give advice very hard to take it.

Sorry wasnt a question there, just a pause for thought.

Yup, and a pause worth taking. I usually try to be gentle in my comments on other people's trouble. My thinking is that its just a matter of time before I go and do something totally stupid.

_____________________________

“To be happy is to be able to become aware of oneself without fright.” ~Walter Benjamin

(in reply to frazzle40)

Post #: 5

RE: how many times do we say sub not stupid - 6/27/2007 6:00:06 PM

sambamanslilgirl

Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DiurnalVampire

I am all for giving someone a second change. But, 3 strikes and you are out.

that's how many i recently gave this Dom i met from here before dumping him - too many promises broken and excuses

_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...

...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)

Post #: 6

RE: how many times do we say sub not stupid - 6/27/2007 6:42:28 PM

Quivver

Posts: 1953
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline

The best part of all this is when the lightbulb goes off and you dont stick your head in the sand.

edited cause my fingers didnt work......

< Message edited by Quivver -- 6/27/2007 7:12:32 PM >

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The problem with communication ... is the illusion that it has been accomplished. ~George Bernard Shaw

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Post #: 7

RE: how many times do we say sub not stupid - 6/27/2007 6:50:10 PM

frazzle40

Posts: 56
Joined: 6/11/2006
Status: offline

Thanks for responses. Wasnt looking for sympathy, just pointing out we all do the exact opposite, of what we'd sensibly advise others.
I'm not exactly new to this and common sense says i knew better, but we all kick ourselves at some point.
Might give food for thought for some who havent been around as long. Stupidity doesnt just effect those new to this.

(in reply to Quivver)

Post #: 8

RE: how many times do we say sub not stupid - 6/27/2007 8:01:28 PM

WhiplashSmile

Posts: 1472
Joined: 6/8/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: frazzle40

How many times do we say, im sub not stupid. then become stupid.

6 missed meets, all reasons very plausable.        Had someone else posted this, i'd have laughed. Said gullible idiot.

Yes i have the home phone number, he has mine.     When i look now at some of the excuses they make me laugh,       but i fell, hook line and sinker.

Lets say we need to take a reality check, if someone else was going through what youre going through, what would you say.        Exactly forget it.        So easy to give advice very hard to take it.

Sorry wasnt a question there, just a pause for thought.

Don't feel bad, same things happens with Dom/mes as well. I think many of us try to look for and find the best in people, and we extend ourselves to a point, until we finally reach a limit to the BS we can put up with. Do we all feel stupid afterwards, you betcha we do.. however we walked the extra mile in giving out something called faith, trust and belief. How bad can that be.. because One day somebody will appreciate these things when we give it to them. Never know when it will be just want is needed or required. You did your best, and that's all anybody can expect of themselves. Don't stop believing, and keep on going. Take it easy on yourself. It's not a submissive thing to fall hook, line and sinker. I had somebody "Do me Dirty" as well. LOL

(in reply to frazzle40)

Post #: 9

RE: how many times do we say sub not stupid - 6/27/2007 8:52:55 PM

slaverosebeauty

Posts: 1941
Joined: 12/12/2004
From: Cali
Status: offline

If someone missed 6 phone calls or times when we were suppose to talk in person, by phone, or on IM, I am pissed as hell and gone; that's it, eviedntly something was amiss, and now I am too, I'm gone. Once chance, fine, 2 possibly if they have a great reason, not an excuse, 3rd time and you are OUT. I delete you from my life. I don't put up with bs or with immaturity and irresponsibility.

_____________________________

http://slaverosebeauty.livejournal.com/

"Friends live on in our hearts, regardless if they are here or not."

(in reply to WhiplashSmile)

Post #: 10

RE: how many times do we say sub not stupid - 6/27/2007 9:05:44 PM

themischievous1

Posts: 151
Joined: 4/3/2005
From: San Antonio, Texas
Status: offline

-hugs-

It's when you want something really bad that you're willing to give so many chances. You want it so bad you can taste it and you don't want them to f things up. Of course you can't control that though and they often blow it. Try not to be too hard on yourself, frazzle. It doesn't matter whether you're new or ancient to this lifestyle, we all want the one we're crushin on to get it right. And we all sit back and watch another one crash and burn despite our best hopes. Dust yourself off and climb back on the horse after a little taking care of you..

(in reply to frazzle40)

Post #: 11

RE: how many times do we say sub not stupid - 6/28/2007 2:43:38 AM

julietsierra

Posts: 1841
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline

To the OP:

Ok... call me stupid...

But here's a little story about a missed meeting:

We made plans to meet. He was supposed to come to MI from VA...
1: There was a storm (on the news, truth there) and it knocked over a tree on to his garage roof. Have to get the insurance people and all that stuff taken care of,
"But, I'm on my way just as soon as this gets taken care of"
2. Went to the airport and AMAZING! The e-ticket I purchased, they say was never paid for and darn it all, I didn't bring the receipt. "But I'm on my way just as soon as this gets taken care of."
3. Went back to the airport - plane cancelled due to mechanical difficulties. "But I'm on my way just as soon as this gets taken care of - this time, I'll just rent a car (you know how dangerous the mts can be during this time of year (October) I want a 4-wheel drive just in case."
4. Have the car. On my way. Just have to drop the dog off at the vet's for boarding. Not sure what they'll say since I can't find it's shot record. "But I'm on my way."
5. Found the shot record, tried to drop the dog off at the vet, but they're full for boarding. "Don't give up! I'm on my way."
6. Took the dog to another vet I know, but for some reason they won't accept VA's shot record... why? Oh, cause I took him to a vet in W.VA. Have to take him home and find someone to take care of him. "But I'm on my way."
7. Secretary is taking the dog, I've got the car. I'm on my way!!.....oh you're just not going to believe this, but while I was driving, the transmission on this rental started slipping. I have to go get a new car..... wow, they have no more 4-wheel drive cars to rent. Won't have one ready till Wed. Don't worry though, I'm on my way.
8 OMG! You won't believe this, but I was just outside of MI, driving behind a van with one of those turtle luggage carriers on it, and IT FLEW OFF THE ROOF OF THE CAR, SMASHED INTO THE WINDOW OF MY RENTED CAR AND I'M IN THE HOSPITAL WITH MY JAW WIRED SHUT!!! "I'm calling a friend to take me home to recuperate, but don't give up, I'm on my way."
9. (Recuperation complete) Make plans. I'm coming in for New Year's Eve. I've got my ticket, receipt and I won't drive behind any cars with turtle luggage carriers on them once I get there. I'm on my way.........(calling "from the air") You won't believe this, but there's turbulent weather and they've rerouted the plane to Cincinnati! Go on to your party, I'll be there."

That was the last time I heard from him. In truth, about the time of excuse #6 I regained my brain and from then on, I and a g/f would get together just to place bets as to what his next excuse would be and then laugh like hell when it popped up, but still...

Color me stupid past excuse #3

You're definitely not alone.

juliet

< Message edited by julietsierra -- 6/28/2007 2:47:44 AM >

(in reply to themischievous1)

Post #: 12

RE: how many times do we say sub not stupid - 6/28/2007 5:37:48 AM

slaveish

Posts: 1086
Joined: 2/19/2007
Status: offline

~raucous laughter~ Oh, juliet.

I think we can all be a little blind when it comes to something we really (think we) want.

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You only lose what you cling to. ~~Gautama Sidharta

If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other. ~~Mother Teresa

(in reply to julietsierra)

Post #: 13

RE: how many times do we say sub not stupid - 6/28/2007 6:01:27 AM

GhitaAmati

Posts: 3263
Joined: 5/30/2007
Status: offline

I think we've probably ALL had one of those experiances....and I dont think it's all in the BDSM world either.

So there I was...sitting out front of starbucks, waiting on this guy Id met offline a few times previously and had actually hit it off well with. He's running a bit late, I figure nothing big..he's always been on time before, I can understand once in a while. He doesnt call though, so I sit and wait some more. I try calling him, no answer. Finally...about 30 minutes past when he was supposed to show up, his car pulls up to the publix next door. He gets out....with his wife and two kids.

I didnt go introduce myself, but I really wanted to.

(in reply to slaveish)

Post #: 14

RE: how many times do we say sub not stupid - 6/28/2007 6:41:07 AM

angelicslaveMDF

Posts: 43
Joined: 6/12/2007
Status: offline

well please dont be to harsh on yourself...at some points in our lives...we ALL have wanted something bad enough that we tend to take and excuse and give them the benefit of a doubt...a lot...i mean after all...if they loved us...they would never lie to us...

so as long as you take it as a learning experience....learn a lesson from it and apply it to future relationships...then you are doing good

*hugssss to lessons learned*

_____________________________

*thats my opinion and Master says i am entitled to it.*
angelicslaveMDF

(in reply to GhitaAmati)

Post #: 15

RE: how many times do we say sub not stupid - 6/28/2007 11:05:22 AM

SirDominic

Posts: 711
Joined: 11/22/2006
Status: offline

quote:

so as long as you take it as a learning experience....learn a lesson from it and apply it to future relationships...then you are doing good

Couldn't have said it better myself angelic.

Have to admit this is a hard limit for me. My time is valuable. If I make an appointment to meet someone, I'm there. And if something delays me, I call. Period.

I expect the same in return. If someone does not show the first time, there is no second time. If they do not show and call with a reason, fine. But if that happens the second time, there is no third time.

What can I say, this is just one of those things that pushes my buttons. Besides, my attitude is, plenty of more fish in the sea. No-one is worth so much that being disrespectful should be tolerated.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
Sir Dominic

_____________________________

You teach best what you have lived.

(in reply to angelicslaveMDF)

Post #: 16

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