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What does it mean to feeding on a sub after and is it n... - 6/28/2007 3:13:43 AM   
BunnysPapa


Posts: 3
Joined: 6/27/2007
Status: offline 		Hello all,
While I am new here on this list i have a question of concern.
What does it say about a 'dom' [lower case intended], when he says "I have no equal, so I will have my Alfa-sub negotiate with you.", to allow your fem-sub-A, collared by myself [also my lover] to experience a very dangerous interest in needle play, since I have not done this training yet [having trouble finding anyone willing to train for this] and not just corset lacing, but straight insertion into the breast some 3 inchs?" and recently informed added tems play to needle while in breasts.
I belong to no less than 6 groups, with Saade [School for Advanced American Dominants' Eduction] the largest and I am having trouble finding competent instruction or should I say willing.
So I ask for this person whom I have sent other sub-fem to and know of him in the comminute in general or so I thought, boy was I wrong.
His resent Arigance of statement was relayed from my sub-fem-A saying, ""He" was to far above me and I should talk to his alfa-sub to arrange this demo for her."
Now haven my-sub-fem admitting to conspiracy in the matter of him taking her from me and having played and been told not to DISCLOSE any thing he does to her to me, her Protector.
What does it say about the BDSM comunity?
Is this attitude clinical now that i find he appaerntly has a god complex?
What does it say about the sub-fem?
What does it say about me, that i was to soft?
Should I have done this and disregarded the "SAFE, SANE AND CONCENTUAL code?????
One might stupidly say, "but she wanted it so i did"
And if she was damaged, that would have been worse still more.
I did a small inquiry of some sub-fem whose spouces did/could not provide the type due to it being a loved one, extreemly-heavey play session.
3 or 4 wanted their husbands there, and the sub's noted that they would give much to have that growth and bounding even though the play was done by another and the couple would still collect the rewards.
Who can tell me what this dom means by "feeding of my sub" after he takes her to this place she doesn’t think I can take her [ apparently caining butt leaving golfball size black brousing and ?? caining i think on her back and in between the crotch]
.
With her not being honest with me i can only assume she does not think that i can inflict her pleasure/pain. AND she does not respect me.
What is feeding?
Is it destructive? Or once he has her and then tires of her, will he discard the shell?
Leaving her to recover on her own? I can only pray for safe return.
Council please,
bunnyspapa, but maybe no more bunny,
ps bunny does have past trigger’s from some early age abuse.
..
..
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: What does it mean to feeding on a sub after and is ... - 6/28/2007 3:53:19 AM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline 		Well, I would formulate an answer if I could understand your post...but I can't. I'm thinking you will be ok though as you belong to 6 groups and the School for Advanced American Dominants' Eduction. Maybe your questions would be more lucid if you asked them in person at one of those resources?

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to BunnysPapa)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: What does it mean to feeding on a sub after and is ... - 6/28/2007 5:19:27 AM   
MstrssPassion


Posts: 2444
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: West Palm Beach, FL
Status: offline 		I'll second that huh & add a

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MstrssPassion


(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: What does it mean to feeding on a sub after and is ... - 6/28/2007 5:41:44 AM   
sambamanslilgirl


Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline 		*spanks self for foolishly opening the thread and giving herself another headache*

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(in reply to MstrssPassion)
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RE: What does it mean to feeding on a sub after and is ... - 6/28/2007 5:57:12 AM   
MissIsis


Posts: 473
Joined: 1/1/2005
Status: offline 		On the remote chance that you are serious, all I can say it is really too bad that lessons have to be learned at the expense of others. 

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: What does it mean to feeding on a sub after and is ... - 6/28/2007 6:09:38 AM   
SirDominic


Posts: 711
Joined: 11/22/2006
Status: offline 		BP, while your post is very rambling and confusing, what does come through is that you are the one in crisis, doubting yourself, doubting the fetish community, feeling betrayed, and blaming yourself. There are a lot of issues you need to deal with, and you should talk to someone on a more professional level, as your needs are at a point where any of us here are not in a position to really help.

Namaste, Sir Dominic

_____________________________

You teach best what you have lived.

(in reply to BunnysPapa)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: What does it mean to feeding on a sub after and is ... - 6/28/2007 6:16:50 AM   
slaveish


Posts: 1086
Joined: 2/19/2007
Status: offline 		I have read, reread, rereread, and rerereread your original post. I'm not sure I'm getting it but let me take a stab at it.

The long and the short of it is that you are the Dom in the D/s dynamic with your sub. You sent your sub for some kind of training because she didn't think you could take her where she wanted to go with regard to this pain play, but the other Dom didn't talk to you himself and instead referred you to ~his~ sub.

~cough~

You talked to and negotiated with his sub, a third party. I'm not sure what play your girl wanted to engage in, but you call it "dangerous", and yet you allowed a third party into the negotiation, leaving all sorts of room for misunderstanding. Not good.

All I can say is that you allowed another Dom to disrespect you and your authority over your own sub, and you were topped from the bottom twice - once by your own sub and again by the other Dom's sub.

Color yourself experienced. All at once too.

_____________________________

You only lose what you cling to. ~~Gautama Sidharta

If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other. ~~Mother Teresa

(in reply to MissIsis)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: What does it mean to feeding on a sub after and is ... - 6/28/2007 6:33:07 AM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline 		Sounds like someone formed SAADE and are busy mentoring women into their beds and this poor bastard lost his woman to one of the mentors.  He is saying the guy is a nut and wondering what the mentor will do with his ex sub when he tires of her.

He will do what trainers and mentors do when they tire of someone, they will graduate them!

(in reply to slaveish)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: What does it mean to feeding on a sub after and is ... - 6/28/2007 7:44:51 AM   
velvetears


Posts: 2933
Joined: 6/19/2006
Status: offline 		Once he said "he says "I have no equal, so I will have my Alfa-sub negotiate with you.", " that would have beenall i had to hear to know he was a jackass and i wouldn't of let my sub near him. You did, so unless she is a hostage make it clear she may not interact with this NoEqual Dom and if she does make it clear to her she no longer belongs to you. Why wait till he "uses her up till she's a shell" if that's what you think might happen??  Is she a hostage?  If so, do what you can to find this man confront him and DEMAND your sub returned to you.  Get that group behind you if you have to. You are responsible for her well  being if you took her on as your sub - do it.

< Message edited by velvetears -- 6/28/2007 7:47:38 AM >

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Religion is for people who are scared of hell, Spirituality is for people who have been there

(in reply to SimplyMichael)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: What does it mean to feeding on a sub after and is ... - 6/28/2007 8:26:23 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Actually I'm part of SAADE as well and it's a fairly nice group, focused on education.  A bit more "protocol" oriented than what I'm into, but generally nice people running it as far as I'm concerned.

But it sounds like the OP did a sucky job of protecting someone in their care and is now trying to blast the local community for it.  Drama drama drama!

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to velvetears)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: What does it mean to feeding on a sub after and is ... - 6/28/2007 9:15:15 AM   
BunnysPapa


Posts: 3
Joined: 6/27/2007
Status: offline
Readers of my 2 days with no sleep posts.
My apologies for rambling so incoherently.
I am a middle trying to stay on the top side of the bdsm life. I rescue people and like a log in the river of life, letting most anyone hang-on, this I am rectifying by finding safe places for those I have. The point to my true question is, yes i just heard from public and BDSM communities and i should have never asked this individual to top my bunny-A.
Damage done lesson learned.
But what does he mean by feeling on her?
It has been suggested that he will use her and then discard her.
Even that she has taken him, not me into her confidence and told him what she likes. I also believe he will be giving her a more permanate, possible a collar of consideration.
How bad can it get?
I am well versed in many BDSM things, but had my head up my assss role-playing and not marring and changing the protection collar to a regular collar. Now looking back on that I thought I had at the time.
With the above mentioned statement that he has no equal or is superior, I should have know the protection collar would not have stopped him, or in fact she took it off and more damage he instructed her not to relate any of the activities to me thus a conflict of interest in her. So lesson learned.

Please , while Hines sight is 20/20 I am trying to understand, and the 3 Dom.’s I trust are not available to me to get properly instruction in the play with needles and 3 ich insertion into the breast and body.

Regards and listening very carefully now,

Papa connor,
My bunny is alovelyone here.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: What does it mean to feeding on a sub after and is ... - 6/28/2007 9:22:33 AM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline 		You're first problem is rescuing people. Stop it.

You're second problem is that you seem to be having an issue that your sub, who is an adult, has made a choice and that choice is not you. Let it go.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to BunnysPapa)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: What does it mean to feeding on a sub after and is ... - 6/28/2007 9:50:11 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		You're admitting you had lots of problems with foresight and maintaining stable relationships and your main issue is how to learn to do some advanced needle play?

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: What does it mean to feeding on a sub after and is ... - 6/28/2007 10:08:25 AM   
Trampler


Posts: 580
Joined: 12/31/2006
Status: offline 		I'm sorry, I am not any less confused with your second post, then I was with the 1st.

I think this is what you were trying to say: Your sub wanted to try Needleplay, but ethier you or her didn't feel comfortable with doing it, because you haven't been trained.  You contacted a Dom, and for whatever reason, he told you to negotiate with his alpha sub....................after that is where it gets murky, did they play together and afterwords she decided to be with him? Personally I would rather negotiate with the Dom/Domme themselves then go thru their sub, And I would of definately been inclined to be present, especially if it was a Dom I didn't know.  Also, did you decide that it was dangerous before or after?  If before, then why the hell did you let her go thru with it?  A collar of protection means exactly that. That anyone wearing your collar of protection means that they are under your protection.  Which it seems to me you failed to do.

_____________________________

I want to step ALL over you!

Our Community may be openminded as a whole, BUT it is made up of indivduals who bring in their own baggage,perceptions and agendas

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: What does it mean to feeding on a sub after and is ... - 6/28/2007 10:12:47 AM   
SirDominic


Posts: 711
Joined: 11/22/2006
Status: offline 		BP, I don't mean to be disrespectful. Just need to say some things that I am getting from your posts. You seem very, very new to being a Dominant, as well as fairly naive. Do you really think that a different kind of collar would have made any difference in this situation? Whether he has good intentions towards her or not is no longer your concern, as, if I understand what you are saying, she is now his for all intents and purposes.

mistoferin is right on the money when she suggests you stop trying to rescue people. The only one that can rescue someone is themselves. And they can only get help with that if they genuinely want outside help. Taking up broken people and trying to fix them sounds noble, but it is an exercise in futility. It just does not work.

As to your other question about feeding on her, that can be taken in so many ways from figuratively to vampirical (don't know if that's a word, but if it isn't it should be). Impossible to say from the information you have given thus far.

My advice before you take on another sub, you need to work on yourself. It sounds like you have issues of your own to overcome before you can dominate someone else.

Namaste, Sir Dominic

_____________________________

You teach best what you have lived.

(in reply to BunnysPapa)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: What does it mean to feeding on a sub after and is ... - 6/28/2007 10:28:39 AM   
Trampler


Posts: 580
Joined: 12/31/2006
Status: offline 		One of my biggest rants,(both in general and in the lifestyle.) Is the lack of research that people do!  Sorry porn barely counts!  It can get you interested in a specific activity, but in no way does it substitute for actual research.  I started off by browsering bdsm. Yes ran into a whole crapload of porn. But I kept plugging. I went to bdsm oriented chat rooms and chatted with Doms and subs.  I read every article I could get my paws on. I started attending classes, munches and play parties. Had countless discussions on the forums, IM's emails and in person.  If I was curious about something I ASKED. I found out everything I could before going thru with it.  We haven't had internet for a long time, but it is an extremely useful tool.  Anyways I am sorry for hijacking the thread, but the point is, is that I don't think the OP did alot of research into ethier the lifestyle or in Needleplay.  BP, I STRONGLY suggest that you do so before you aquire another sub.  If for no other reason then her safety. okok end rant

_____________________________

I want to step ALL over you!

Our Community may be openminded as a whole, BUT it is made up of indivduals who bring in their own baggage,perceptions and agendas

(in reply to SirDominic)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: What does it mean to feeding on a sub after and is ... - 6/28/2007 11:07:38 AM   
Celeste43


Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline 		So why did you agree to let him do a needle scene on her when he refused to answer your questions?

Why, if he was the only competent needle expert about, didn't you go along to watch that all he did was the negotiated needle play?

Why did you allow her to negotiate on her own and see him without you when you already knew from the get-go that he was an arrogant SOB?

Your decisions, all wrong and now you wonder why someone in the scene can't protect you from not thinking clearly about this ahead of time. You chose to let this all go down, you had plenty of chances to stop it and didn't. The people responsible here are you and your sub because she wasn't in a bag on the corner when he 'stole' her. She found him more appealing and chose him over you.

(in reply to Trampler)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: What does it mean to feeding on a sub after and is ... - 6/28/2007 12:10:11 PM   
MagiksSlave


Posts: 2768
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline 		I think i got it. He let his sub play with another 'dom' this 'dom' was less then trustworthy and aparently so was his 'sub' he told her not to tell her Dom what he was doing with her. For what ever reason she listend desideing to listen to this third party 'dom' and not her own. There was some confution between the Op and the 'sub' about weather she had a protection collar or an actual collar, eather way didnt matter this other 'dom' had her remove the collar. this 'sub' left the op to be with this 'dom' who the OP is afraid is a big a jerk as he seems and will hurt her. if I got this all right then here is what I think...

She is no sub to you. She went to this 'dom' and desided to listen when he said not to tell you what they where doing. Im sorry but if i where to ever play with another while Master wasnt around (this isnt bloody likely) you better beleave no matter what that other Dom tells me that I will be giveing Master a play by play of EVERY thing every move and every touch. My loyalties lie with my Master and no other 'dom'. The fact that another 'dom' would ever even suggest such a thing shows he has little respect for other peoples D/s relationships and that fact that she even listens shows she had no repsect for you or your relationship. There are so many wrong things in this situation I dont know where to start... neather this 'dom' or 'sub' would be anyone I would want anything to do with they deserve eachother (and the 'sub' deserves what ever she gets from this 'dom') and you are better off without eather of them.

Magik's slave

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.


-Rodney Atkins-



(in reply to Celeste43)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: What does it mean to feeding on a sub after and is ... - 6/28/2007 1:40:44 PM   
BunnysPapa


Posts: 3
Joined: 6/27/2007
Status: offline
Ok, let me try this one more time before I loose some other part of my head.

I have been and I am a collector of lost sub without a place to be safe and play.

One I chose to live with and gave her a collar of protection and raised it to a collar of commitment.

Yes a collar can mean what ever the 2 or more agree it is.
i don’t yet do needles, i asked a good friend Master Leo, former president of the gwnn group and his lacing-needles on her with her girl Kat and it was great, and sub-A liked it to. This is why I started looking for instruction because I have never done anything in the form of skin penetration.
Fine. So far.
Master Leo my friend was not available at the gwnn play so another, dom-T whom I have known in real life at a distance, I have seen him play his wife and one other and felt he had the ability to play her with rope at the same time as the needle work on her, I was right there at a distance watching and all seems fine.
i have been trying to get Master Leo or another friend in the area and no luck for weeks.
so since she now lives in a town 80 mi away and dom-t lives down there, i let him play her in this same way at a group/friends house i trust. But it talked to him at the party using her phone and that is the only time that i have had a true conversation with him.
Now...it is said my the sub-a that she admits to lying and the conspiracy of holding information back both about what she wants in the way of treatments, caning, flogging and the like, even thought i have played her hard and i am at heart a sensation Dom.

i find fault for the following reasons:
Me, should have been there even though now am told he would have never played her if i had because he practices RACK and he wants to FEED off her. I have to stop being a collector of DAMAGED PEOPLE.

Dom.-t; went too far and is a disturber of the piece in real life at any cost and has a GOD COMPLEX, he says by her words that he will not talk to anyone below him and he virtually has no equal, [this part is new to me]. Evidently she, I feel was told not to talk about anything he did to her. I thought it was just her quiet side and she can be that way sometimes. I did not want to think she has disobedient girl and holding out on me.

Her: THIS IS THE PROBLEM!!! She did not inform me as to what was going on and has been keeping things from me as to what she needs past the needle play. I blame her the most. She was collared and chose to play to her ADICTION and not to her obligation to end the relationship first and move on. Instead she empowered the conspiracy.
Currently i am currently negotiating with 2 World Class DOM and DOMME published and all to learn; the fine points of Needle play, Breath control and RACK.
By august I expect to be back in the seen at full speed and informed.
I have been around the Honorable life style for 9 yrs, but never in our very trustworthy groups, voyagers, SAADE, CTK, never meet the likes of this side dom-t.
Thanks for trying to understand the other wise simple NOT drama, and I hate drama,

Thank you for letting me inter you group.

Papa Connor, the RABIT is DEAD because she ran in the road and dom-t ran her over and she cann’t hurt me,
Long Life with Honor to the Dom. that practice it.
Safe, Sane and Consensual.
.......



< Message edited by BunnysPapa -- 6/28/2007 2:28:49 PM >

(in reply to MagiksSlave)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: What does it mean to feeding on a sub after and is ... - 6/28/2007 5:46:50 PM   
DommeChains


Posts: 415
Joined: 3/23/2006
Status: offline 		I believe I know the OP.  In real time he is very articulate and genuinely tenderhearted and caring.  His writing style is unique....said with affection.  He is, in my opinion, not inexperienced at all.....just very willing to give a person a chance and his heart is bigger than his sense of self preservation sometimes.

(in reply to BunnysPapa)
Profile   Post #: 20
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