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RchmdServiceNeed -> RE: When Orgasm Turns Into Torture (6/30/2007 4:16:22 AM)
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Lewcifer --
I was not trying to be rude-- I was trying to be realistic AND helpful.
Because the answer wasn't exactly what you wanted to hear, you really didn't listen to it at all.
Comparing a female orgasm/sexual experience to putting bolt on is is EXACTLY my point-- they are not the same. Everyone's experience is not the same, nor even close and the DEGREE to which it varries is so high with women that it would be impossible to devise a device that was mass pleasureable-- However, it MAY be possible to devise one that was acceptible IF you only took the preferences of a few into account-- ie: The ones who this will be used on.
The idea that women's physical/mental stimulation varries 10xs that of men is a concept I was serious in stating. And, being a man, it makes sense that you would think one could automate it-- that it has a quantifiable amount-- that it is just the physical that can make one cum because, for men, there *IS* a very baisc "cumming" sensation and the ability to physically *make* a man cum.
However, Women do not work like this.
You can not *make* a woman cum no matter how hard you or she tires if it's just not going to work or something is going on MENTALLY.
There is No amount of physical sensation that can make a woman cum if she is not MENTALLY arroused and allowing of it.
For a woman, cumming is 90% [or more] mental.
A woman is not a bolt.
And that is exactly the point.
But maybe you have to be a woman to understand that? I don't know.... but pointing it out to you was ment to be Helpful.
So, that brings into question more than just the physical aspects of the device.
But also the mental aspects.
I didn't forget that there's a "feedback cycle"-- it's just not particularly attractive to me, nor have very many others mentioned it. Personally, I wouldn't mind being disciplined by my dom, but to have it come from another sub? I'm not sure how co-submission/ co-dominance between the subs would work mentally -- I mean, who's in charge? the one who laughs or moves the most?? Is the other sub appeasing master sub AND Master at the same time? I understand that may be physically and visually erotic for you, but, it might not being doing much for your subs and might be haveing a negative affect depending on their connection desires with you.
Being disciplined by someone with Dom energy feels entirely different than being disciplined by a robot or automated thing!
And it *is* a huge part to consider in this-- it's the basis of the whole set up, lol.
You keep saying how great it would be to have them be connected, to have a feedback loop -- but you haven't asked anyone if that would be arrousing to them. Nor has anyone said it. However, that seems to be one of *your* personal kinks which is fine. It just might not contribute to the women depending, who knows...
If you "need to know the limits" [which I agree with] then you need to ask the specific people it will be used on and not make it a measure of love or submission to say whatever you want to hear.
It IS "germane" to consider the physical and mental needs of the people who something is going to be used on-- The more advanced and POWERFUL the device, the MORE SPECIFIC and accomodating one must be.
Sure, for a simple flogger there may be some generalizations, but it's a general tool, and generally not all that powerful -- two extra floggings plus or minus is not going to have a huge effect.
However, YOUR devise plus or minus two degrees could have a HUGE effect on things and cause real damage. And who cares what other people say! What other people feel would be reasonable for their own bodies-- it's the bodies of the ones you are to tourture that matter [:D]
What I find odd is: This doesn't seem to be the kind of play one would do as first-time play......... So, why don't you have some idea already as to your sub's thresholds, desires, etc? [and it's okay if you don't b/c it's very easy to ask them]
And if you don't know, why aren't you asking them?
This would not be a good "surprise" gift. You should ask them, seriously-- they will love looking foreward to it and it will be even more special.
If you don't have any idea or even a good idea and you aren't willing to discuss it with your subs, eh, not sure you should be doing this type of play because someone could get seriously hurt if you are not open to listening.
WITHOUT your own ego, needs, desires, kinks -- Just listening.
Don't get mad at me.
Just read what i have said and think about it, it really is ment to be helpful. Just because it is not a gung-ho go for it and specific answers to your questions, it's still good to consider.
Also consider the anger in your posts at me and calling me ridiculous for pointint things out might be how your subs feel if they were to point out or say something you don't like.......... how are they to be honest with you if you say they are silly for expressing concerns? How are you to ever get the feedback you need to make a good machiene if you are not asking them and they feel pressured to say whatever you wanted to hear anyway?
......... how are they to stay with you and trust you if you think their orgasm is a bolt you can built something to take care of.
?
Heck, ever notice how may toys there are on the market as compared to men's toys? Women's toys are generally adjustible-- multisized, multispeed, different textures on the same toy, interchangable things, multipal spots, etc.-- That's because women varry *that* much. More advanced folks than you have been trying to Years to find a toy that is acceptible for all females and they have yet to find it!! -- Not even a "general median" enough for the toy to sell, they have to make it so it hits a range by being adjustible, lol. And then they make other versions in a "series" such a sized up, texture varrying, etc in different toys and don't expect all, most, or even a lot of women to purchace- -the market is always for "some" women because that's the best ya can do!
Asking, talking, and listening will help your toy be everything you want and everything they secretly hope it will be as well.
Your toy will only be good when you are ready to listen to other's opinions without your own opinions about what they should be saying and seperate yourself from the project a little.
Even if you are a Dom, it's not just about you-- your toy, your project, etc-- if they are the ones to be on it.
I can see how this could be a great toy, but it will only be a great toy if the people you are using it on have input and that is the ONLY way it will good and effective on them.
Best Wishes.
PS. A mind-fuck can not be done with a Toy.
There is a human energy element that can not be automated.
And feedback from other subs is not what I am talking about-- The energy of the Dom acting sexually upon you is what *does* it for most subs.
If anything else did or they could just buy a toy and get the same feeling as they do with their dom we wouldn't all be searching for eachother!!!! lol
Funny.
I don't know-- in short-- you're thinking like a male dom, not a female.
or a sub.
So, it's not going to work no matter how great it sounds on paper without the human energy element.
Even those that like some automated sensations or assistance still need the human element or else they would just stop interacting with people and go off with their toys.
Be truly open-- not just playing one online who then gets his feelings hurt or upset if someone points things out or concerns -- to be truly open, go ask/discuss it with the only people that matter: your subs.
Be open to their feelings/imput and it will be a great toy for all involved.
But if you don't, I could understand why one might feel resentful or used [in a bad way] or otherwise fearful, angry, upset and believe me, if that happens, ain't nobody gunna cum reguardless of the physical sensation......
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