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Where do I go from here??? - 6/12/2005 11:19:52 AM

nonuts4thshoney

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From: Southern California
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I started a relationship with my girlfriend 7 monthes ago. She decided to surprise me with some rope and a flogger for a little kinky play. I had never been tied up or flogged. The first time I was flogged I became extremely aroused and wanted more. When she had tied me up and flogged me I was slightly nervous not knowing when and how hard she would flog me or what she would do next. But this aroused me even more. Since then She has flogged me a small handful of times. Recently we went to gay pride and there was a leather tent that demonstrated some flogging techniques. I was sooo fascinated by this. When we got home the following day she whipped out the flogger and tried some new techniques. This experience was different because This was different because sex would not follow. It was just so that I could be pleased. She started slow with softer hits then gradually worked up to harder blows. I like thud and sting. And the harder she hit me the better it felt. I felt each hit go right through my body and it felt wonderful. When I had reached my limit she softly ran the tail along my spine and then ran some cold water down my back. This was the first time that I was in tears. It was such an amazing experience and look forward to it again. It has now been three weeks since my last flogging and I seem to crave it more everyday. My girlfriend has never praticed this with anyone else before. So we are both new to this. It is getting to the point where I really want to pratice this more often. It's almost like I am addicted to it. I need it. But I dont want to seem like a freak. LOL! She likes to do this when she is in the right mood. And when she is, it turns her on extemely. How do I tell her that I'd like her to please me more often without sounding needy? LOL!

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RE: Where do I go from here??? - 6/12/2005 4:39:05 PM

EmeraldSlave2

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You tell her by just telling her,in email, in stories, in pillow talk. You have to establish clear and open communication at the outset.

And what's wrong with seeming needy? You ARE needy right now. As long as you are open with it, and respect her own levels of neediness, then you will be fine.

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RE: Where do I go from here??? - 6/14/2005 4:20:49 PM

dougadams

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Maybe she's waiting for you to beg?

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RE: Where do I go from here??? - 6/14/2005 4:40:28 PM

sub4hire

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quote:

How do I tell her that I'd like her to please me more often without sounding needy? LOL!

Does it matter if you sound needy? Communication is paramount in this lifestyle. Either you communicate or you end up breaking up with your partner.

I'd find a local group also if I were you. Generally they have demo's. There is a whole world of play aside from flogging out there for the two of you to try.
I'd get some knowledge before just trying something out though.

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RE: Where do I go from here??? - 8/4/2005 9:57:22 AM

domm4subf1970

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pillow talk is always best.

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RE: Where do I go from here??? - 8/4/2005 11:27:19 AM

Kinkypupper

Posts: 713
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From: Portland oregon
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Communication, Communication and ohh.. more communcation

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Phil Moulton
A Sensual Touch
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Portland Oregon

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RE: Where do I go from here??? - 8/4/2005 11:39:02 AM

Elegant

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Don't forget about communication...*grin*

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RE: Where do I go from here??? - 8/4/2005 2:38:31 PM

SadistDave

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Communication is so much more than talking a subject into the ground. Sometimes a gesture or action will go farther than words. Acually though, nonuts4thshoney was kind enough to provide the answer to her own question.

quote:

She likes to do this when she is in the right mood. And when she is, it turns her on extemely.

Sounds to me like you need to simply find out what puts her in the mood and act on it. Find the trigger for her desires. Learn to understand when there might be conflict between her needs and your needs, then act accordingly. She may be turned on by any number of little things that will help you trigger her desires, but other outside influences like fatigue or stress may supercede her desire to play sometimes. Expecting her to be your performing monkey without regard to her needs is a little unreasonable.

There is a difference between sounding needy and expressing your needs. "I need" or I want" are pretty selfish ways to look at a relationship. They imply that there is little concern over the needs and desires of a partner. Most people pick up on that eventually and either begin to resent their partner as being self-centered, or begin to doubt their own ability to please their partner.

She may not be playing with you right now because she is trying to understand her own desires, or come up with new ways to expand on her new interests. However, she may also be wondering about the same concerns you have expressed in your post. "I don't want her to think I'm a freak for wanting to beat her." "Will she think I'm needy if I tell her I want this more?"

You've known this person for 7 months. Don't be afraid to talk with her about it. You should know her well enough by now to have a good idea of how to approach this. Be patient and find a good time to raise the subject. If she seems uncomfortable, back off and let her think about the fact that you want to discuss it. If she doesn't bring it back up in a few days, try leaving the flogger by the bed, or let her "find" a well planted bit of porn somewhere on your computer, under the bed, or wherever. Hint in non-verbal ways that it is something you want to explore more, but not so much that she feels overwhelmed.

I have a lot of suggestions for you, but I'm going to be late for work if I don't stop here. I hope this helps.

-SD-

< Message edited by SadistDave -- 8/4/2005 2:42:46 PM >

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RE: Where do I go from here??? - 8/4/2005 4:42:47 PM

nonuts4thshoney

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WOW, this is an older thread. Things have changed tremenously since posting this. As soon as i posted this thread i spoke with Master and things have been wonderful ever since. Thanks for the recent replies to all though.

Part of the problem was that i am so new to this lifestyle and didn't know how to go about certain situations. i am so glad i have found this site becuase it enables me to intereact with other subs/slaves and to educate myself.

Communication is definitely they key. We are happy that we have such a wonderful connection and that we can speak to one another about any issues that we may have. i think when one is so new in this lifestyle , one tends to worry about what the other is going to think and we sometimes make it harder on ourselves.

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RE: Where do I go from here??? - 8/4/2005 5:03:11 PM

sub4hire

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quote:

Communication is definitely they key. We are happy that we have such a wonderful connection and that we can speak to one another about any issues that we may have. i think when one is so new in this lifestyle , one tends to worry about what the other is going to think and we sometimes make it harder on ourselves.

Now you have advice to offer others when they ask. Communicate...

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RE: Where do I go from here??? - 8/4/2005 6:59:06 PM

Faramir

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quote:

ORIGINAL: nonuts4thshoney

WOW, this is an older thread. Things have changed tremenously since posting this. As soon as i posted this thread i spoke with Master and things have been wonderful ever since. Thanks for the recent replies to all though.

Just curious - is "the girl friend" of the OP and "Master" the same?

Still think nonuts4thshoney is the funniest damn nic I have ever seen...

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RE: Where do I go from here??? - 8/4/2005 8:26:40 PM

BlouLady

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You could try talking to her about it.If you can't find the nerve to do it f2f write a detailed letter about how you feel and what turns you on.Good luck!

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RE: Where do I go from here??? - 8/4/2005 9:57:59 PM

nonuts4thshoney

Posts: 550
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From: Southern California
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Faramir

quote:

ORIGINAL: nonuts4thshoney

WOW, this is an older thread. Things have changed tremenously since posting this. As soon as i posted this thread i spoke with Master and things have been wonderful ever since. Thanks for the recent replies to all though.

Just curious - is "the girl friend" of the OP and "Master" the same?

Still think nonuts4thshoney is the funniest damn nic I have ever seen...

Yes they are the same

Thanks for getting a kick outta my name

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RE: Where do I go from here??? - 8/5/2005 6:33:35 AM

Sir4now

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I do hope you have learned about communication and why everyone that is in this lifestyle real time preaches so hard on it.

When a Dom/Domme take a submissive it is to look after them to see to it they are happy cared for and loved. For only if our Sub/slave is happy we all know a happy sub/slave leads to a happy Dom/Domme.

I do hope you do not stop or get stuck on just flogging there are so many other fun things to do and you may find something that gives your Domme that same sort of feeling inside as well.

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