RE: Don't know what to do

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RE: Don't know what to do - 6/30/2007 9:35:36 AM

Grlwithboy

Posts: 655
Joined: 2/8/2005
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I think one of the reasons I feel strongly about obedience whether it's disruptive or conflicts with the slave's idealistic image of his/her owner is because my health is compromised to a degree, and because I know that if a slave can't survive this kind of dissonance over a name they're not going to survive this kind of a dissonance when I'm doubled over in pain, or when I'm crying over the 95 pills I have to take - things that are not status quo for me, but may come and go throuought my life.

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RE: Don't know what to do - 6/30/2007 10:11:44 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Dini
it was quite interesting to sit around a table with several Dom/mes all sharing personal preferences.

And isn't that what it all comes down to? Personal preferences.

A slave can hear what their potential master requires and decide to accept and become their slave, or reject and not.

Rejecting a master because you are ordered to call them Steve and Dear instead of Master seems a bit odd in terms of overall priority, but hey, that's the joy of informed consent.

If you accept that this is within the bounds of what's good and right for you as a slave, then you do it- over time you work together in training and go for it.

I'd love to have someone go up to another master and say their slave can't possibly be committed because she just called him Fred instead of Master.

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RE: Don't know what to do - 6/30/2007 10:32:25 AM

CelticPrince

Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
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bratty,

a simple question that grows complex as hell!

You know your experience level but do you really know his? Those vanilla terms or names seem very strange at the beginning of a D/s relationship. But at the end of the day, if you stay with him, then he calls the shots.

CP

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RE: Don't know what to do - 6/30/2007 10:32:55 AM

Greyback

Posts: 1
Joined: 6/27/2007
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dominants and submissives come in as many varieties as there are dominants and submissives. no such thing as a cookie cutter to mold us all the same. i never use capitals in forums or chats... does that make me less of a dom? i don't particular like being called master or sir... does that make me less of a dom? i don't need to be called sir to feel dominant. i know what i am and very comfortable with myself.
a sub will know your dominance by how you are and how you treat them. they don't need to give you a title to remember who and what you are.

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RE: Don't know what to do - 6/30/2007 10:41:49 AM

Shylahgirl

Posts: 167
Joined: 8/28/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: brattybutcute

can some one give me some input on this one? here is the situation.

what if you have lived the lifestyle (real life) for 21 years,,you have always been taught and practiced that you call you Master ,,Sir or Master.....now all of a sudden you find yourself unowned and are talking to other potential "Masters",,now this new Master wants you to call Him something like ,,,Hun,,,Dear,, Darlin.....but you just can't seem to bring yourself to do that.

How would you handle this??

Your question reminds me if when Master first took me on.

I havd never called anyone "Sir" in my life, except a cop, and couldn't bring the words from my brain to my mouth.

Honestly, Master eventually just took things into his own hands and said, "From now on when ever you need to go to the bathroom I want you to ask permission. When you ask I want you to say, 'Sir may I please go to the bathroom?' If you ask wrong I'll say no."

It only took one "No" for me to start asking correctly. Eventually, sinse I have a weak blater,(lol) I started getting use to calling him "Sir". A month later Master took me off bathroom restriction.

What I'm trying to say is, maybe, you should let your Dom know your having issues and ask him if he can take it into his hands. When you have no other choice, call him what he wants or dissobay, then usually you'll do what you need to and it will just happen.

Of course, this is assuming that you intend to allow him to dominate you.

If It's just some guy you're speaking with online, not your new Master, then I wouldn't be to concerned about titles untill you get into a relationship. ;)

Some people online, and a few in real life, will insist that anyone with out master/mistress in front of their name call them master/mistress. I think that's silly. The title Master or even Sir is a form of respect... if you respect this mane enough to call him Sir or Master you should tell him that and perhaps he will feel honored and allow you to keep doing it.

Blind submission to every dominant is silly... But if he has your respect then he must be very specail.

Shylah

< Message edited by Shylahgirl -- 6/30/2007 10:53:11 AM >

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