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RE: All you smart Ladies - 6/30/2007 3:33:23 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveluci
If I started deferring and submitting to any other one, I'd be in serious trouble.

Oh yeah... I would be stuck writing so many essays and I'd probably have a very sore bottom to sit on!

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to slaveluci)

Post #: 21

RE: All you smart Ladies - 6/30/2007 3:36:51 PM

MsKatHouston

Posts: 1909
Joined: 6/7/2006
From: Houston, TX
Status: offline

quote:

Most of the submissive women are owned and seem to be either reluctant to give answers because of this

Another thing I am curious about. Are you talking about submissive women on the forums answering general questions? Or are you emailing owned submissives on the other side? If you are emailing owned submissives on the other side, I would ask why are you doing that? Is that where the need to be discrete comes in?

_____________________________

-Kat

~If you can't be a good example, you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning~

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 22

RE: All you smart Ladies - 6/30/2007 3:37:59 PM

MagiksSlave

Posts: 2768
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveluci
If I started deferring and submitting to any other one, I'd be in serious trouble.

Oh yeah... I would be stuck writing so many essays and I'd probably have a very sore bottom to sit on!

Ditto ((rubbs her bottom at the thought!!)) ouch!!

Magik's slave

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.

-Rodney Atkins-

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 23

RE: All you smart Ladies - 6/30/2007 3:48:54 PM

DominantJim

Posts: 43
Joined: 6/28/2007
Status: offline

I suppose I should clear a few things up. There were really only two people who I was targeting when mentioning the fact that there were submissives or 'switches' answering my questions from before with jaded attitudes. Neither of those women have posted here and upon reading this they'll know who they are. So don't assume that I'm talking about you unless I mention you directly. Second of all Lockit.....Lockit Lockit Lockit.....What can I say other than your honesty is impressive and refreshing. I have nothing bad to say to you. All I'm looking for in these forums is honesty, and I want to learn about myself and you people more. Some of you are taking a very light hearted attitude towards my questions and statements and making it very comfortable, others seem to think that i'm either targeting you with my statements or that I seem to be grouped into this gathering of men that is purely here to get laid. Neither of those things are the case for me. I'm a nice guy, I may be dominant but I'm really a nice guy in person. As for my reasons for asking you dominant women, well look at some of the answers, its pretty obvious why, theres a few answers here that have been the most helpful I've recieved.

The only thing I want to do here is find the girl thats right for me and make alot of friends, men and women, slaves/subs and masters/mistresses. I don't have a hidden agenda and I don't really look to target anyone, but like the two that I aforementioned but whos names will not be given, if you just jump all over me when its my first post here than I'm going to be a little annoyed, especially when I'm sincere with my questions I'm not being a jackass.

I hope that this cleared up alot for you and I've had alot of helpful answers here I really appreciate it. Anything else comes to mind please tell me, I'll be revamping my profile :)

(in reply to MagiksSlave)

Post #: 24

RE: All you smart Ladies - 6/30/2007 3:55:05 PM

Emperor1956

Posts: 2370
Joined: 11/7/2005
Status: offline

quote:

The OP: Through my short travels here I've decided that the best way to find out about submissive women is to ask the dominant ones.

How's that working out for you, bucko?

Yep. And I've found the best receipe for fried chicken comes from vegan monks.

E.

_____________________________

"When you wake up, Pooh," said Piglet, "what's the first thing you say?"
"What's for breakfast? What do you say, Piglet?"
"I say, I wonder what's going to happen exciting today?"
Pooh nodded thoughtfully.
"It's the same thing," he said.

(in reply to DominantJim)

Post #: 25

RE: All you smart Ladies - 6/30/2007 3:57:33 PM

DominantJim

Posts: 43
Joined: 6/28/2007
Status: offline

Worked out well E actually, I've redone my profile and I'm alot happier with it now as to my attitude and what I'm looking for. And I'm sure I'll find someone that wants me for what i've put down.

Thanks again ladies.

(in reply to Emperor1956)

Post #: 26

RE: All you smart Ladies - 6/30/2007 3:59:58 PM

SweetDommes

Posts: 3313
Joined: 10/5/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Emperor1956

quote:

The OP: Through my short travels here I've decided that the best way to find out about submissive women is to ask the dominant ones.

How's that working out for you, bucko?

Yep. And I've found the best receipe for fried chicken comes from vegan monks.

E.

This topic brings to mind the time that I was told "Dommes make the best submissives" ...

To the OP - try reading general dating advice, it seems to me that if you are having that much trouble finding a partner that you need to go back to the basics of dating. Treat a woman as a woman, not as an object ... that will get you a long long way.

_____________________________

Miss Karen and Miss Holly

Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

Friends are God's apology for relatives

(in reply to Emperor1956)

Post #: 27

RE: All you smart Ladies - 6/30/2007 4:00:15 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

I don't really think anyone here feels targeted. I don't at least.

It's just that the idea of asking a dominant woman how to attract submissive women for a heterosexual relationship just seems so... silly. You would be much better off asking submissive women or male heterosexual or bisexual male dominants, since the fem subs know what interests them and the male doms will know what has worked for them. That you didn't ask is a bit dismissive of the female submissives here as whole.

However, I regarded it as a serious, if oddly asked, question. I hope you were able to take something from my answers.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to DominantJim)

Post #: 28

RE: All you smart Ladies - 6/30/2007 4:03:13 PM

BitaTruble

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline

First of all, welcome to the boards.

There are all manner of folks here, some with whom you will click and some who will make your teeth itch. The reason I point this out is because it doesn't matter how nice you are, how dominant, how creative, sincere or anything else. You won't be irrisitable to everyone no matter what you do. Shoot for being honest and open instead, realize that you won't be compatible with everyone and the ones to whom you appeal will find you when it's right for them to do so. Be selective in your choices when you email someone. If you are brand new to BDSM, self-gagging works really well unless you are opening your mouth to ask a question. It makes it much harder to stick your foot in your mouth when it remains closed and then you don't have to write additional posts to explain what you meant in your OP. For example.. you said 'most' in your OP .. but you meant .. two. See how that works?

Be who you are so when someone falls for you they'll stay with you because it'll be the real deal and not some false persona that you won't be able to keep up with in the long term.

Good luck to you.

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

(in reply to DominantJim)

Post #: 29

RE: All you smart Ladies - 6/30/2007 4:04:14 PM

amaidiamond

Posts: 1793
Joined: 2/6/2006
From: Watford / London
Status: offline

Totally out of context but - woo hoo another Firefly fan - yay!

(in reply to Emperor1956)

Post #: 30

RE: All you smart Ladies - 6/30/2007 4:15:29 PM

Celeste43

Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline

One, you are confusing the fact that owned submissives don't have to kowtow to ever socalled dom with being bitchy. Wrong, for myself the only dominant male I am allowed to submit to is him. I treat other dominant males the way I treat other submissive females, submissive males, dominant females etc.

About the only specific help you can get from dominant females re submissive females will be general; manners, profile, picture etc. And actually, that's the only help you can get from submissive females, general advice, since we are all more different than we are alike. One doesn't want a man more than five years different than her, another won't talk to anyone who isn't at least ten years younger.

We are individuals, not cut from a cookie cutter.

The best way to find your perfect partner is to be a perfect partner. Pay attention to the women you meet, believe that they mean what they say, remember what they say. Be polite, don't be condescending, respond to social cues given. If they hate golf, don't go off on a rant about how you'll change their minds because you won't. And please read the terms of service, the very idea of posting a picture of a minor on a sex site is offensive as hell.

(in reply to amaidiamond)

Post #: 31

RE: All you smart Ladies - 6/30/2007 4:25:26 PM

DominantJim

Posts: 43
Joined: 6/28/2007
Status: offline

Thanks guys and yeah I'm shooting for complete honest with a grain of salt haha. I'm not really looking to tick anyone off so I'll watch what I say next time, I have a habit of saying more than I should have or anything at all. And next time I will derive more questions to the subs once more. I suppose like everyone says some answers should be taken with a grain of salt.

(in reply to amaidiamond)

Post #: 32

RE: All you smart Ladies - 6/30/2007 4:27:24 PM

DominantJim

Posts: 43
Joined: 6/28/2007
Status: offline

And yeah that whole posting the pic of me and the kid was just a lack of common sense on my part, I shouldn't have even had to have read the terms of service, but thats since changed, so thanks all for opening my blind eyes to that spectrum :)

(in reply to DominantJim)

Post #: 33

RE: All you smart Ladies - 7/1/2007 12:19:08 AM

RchmdServiceNeed

Posts: 36
Joined: 3/5/2007
Status: offline

Jim,
#1. You should not expect "Respect" in the form of formal titles to someone you do not own. For example, it is silly to expect a sub woman you might write to address you in terms of "Master"/etc. if you are in fact NOT her master or Not her Master yet. making demands right off is generally seen as disrespectful and will put the sub on the defensive, not make her want to give herself to you.
You should approach a female sub *gasp* like anyother free female in the normal world-- ie: Ask her questions about her life, job, desires, goals, feelings, skills, activities-- and NOT just as how they relate to you, lol, really get to know her.

2. You may be getting that "bitchy response" becuase you are asserting yourself as their master or being rude in the first place. Women that are submissive are not so because they want to be abused or "claimed" by the first dushe that comes along-- they choose their masters. Generally ones with intelligence, compassion, and respect.

3. Your profile seems to be a little different than what it was originally so that's good. You need to fill out the likes/dislikes for bdsm activities. Example: if you "live for" gags and a lady doesn't like that she is really really wasting her time and yours. on the other hand, if she lives for it too-- you may be instantly attractive to her and worth her time/a response when you wouldn't be other-wise.
It is also generally attractive to people to see someone else that has a sense of self and knows what they want, especially if you are looking for someone dominant! lol
You will *only* find what you are looking for if you know what that is and state it.
I would generally assume someone without their bdsm kinks filled out is either: unsure of what they want and who they are [very unattractive], just "trying things" and I wouldn't be interested in being an experiment, doesn't like any of it, or is just looking for sex and willing to do some kinky things to get it.
They are all unattractive options for me personally.
I can at least respect someone who has kinks I don't. But if not stated, eh, it's a wash in the "uninteresting and not interested" category.

4. A picture says a 1,000 words.
You are relatively young, and though no one wants to say it, that may give you an extreme advantage b/c there are not that many young 20-something doms! So post a pict that shows it!!
Don't try to "look dominant" in your pic, that is annoying. Just be yourself. Smile.
Subs want to please, so they don't want to see you looking all pissed off and "domish"-- they want to see what your smile is like, what their reward for being pleasing will look like. ;)

Do not put ANY other women in the picture unless it is a woman that is/was a sub and even then, really just best to be by yourself. Generally, those that are taken may post picts with their partner to help show that. If you are single & looking, it sends the wrong message.

5. BE YOURSELF!!
Sub ladies are SMART! and know what they are looking for.
Be normal and be nice and they will find out who you are and either be attracted to you or not.
there is really no point if it's all an act, ya know?

6. Your profile states "I've learned quite a bit so far" -- yes? WHAT have you learned? [put that on your profile so you seem intelligent or just remove it b/c it sounds pompus and dumb] and also states "And I know what I'm looking for." -- unm, really? -- What?
There is NOTHING on your profile that differentiates you from anyone else or says what you are looking for. Other than "a woman to fulfill you needs" -- I have NO idea. What needs? what is fulfilling to you? How much? how often? when/where [public or private?} long term or short term? physical or mental characteristics of the woman you are looking for? Activities you like to interact with? What are you looking to do [or not do!] together???
I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU ARE LOOKING FOR
and I doubt any sub reading your profile would.
IF, you are new, Just say that.
Seriosuly, there are always people looking for new folks and expereinced.
It would be hard for a sub woman to see where she can fulfill your needs and desires since NONE of them are stated and how she might contribute to your life, needs, and merge with her own needs since you have not stated anything that would give her any indication of what you actually want/need.

Your profile needs to express YOU -- who you are, where you're at, what you're looking for-- NOT what you thnk would make you "irresistible" to a sub-- b/c a Poser is the opposite of irresistible for sure.

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 34

RE: All you smart Ladies - 7/1/2007 1:46:38 PM

Lockit

Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

DominantJim,

Is it fair to discredit those who were offended by your first profile... and sexual questions from someone not known to any of us and to respond bitchy in any way... when we clearly were seeing someone who was confused... was here to find some women to use... etc? You can be mad at them if you like... but I would give them gold stars and red ribbons. Their response was fitting.

If it is someone's kink to be belittled or belittle... so be it... but to be new... make your first posts be so sexual in nature and degrading... well dude... you make your own bed and deserve whatever you get. You can clean up your act and now want a relationship... you can stop insulting people and be the calm one with every reason to be upset or to justify whatever... but you aren't going to stop those of us that know your first stand. In time I am sure some of us can see your true motives if you were not being true in the begining and show us you really didn't mean it. You are young... but that is no excuse. By your age you should know to disrespect gets disrespect.

I have no need to continue or start an argument with anyone... I have enough going on in life as it is and don't need further hassles... but I have seen you defend your actions... excuse yourself and still point the finger at those bitchy submissives. I see no change. I have not yet heard you aplogize to anyone for your pointing fingers, name calling, etc.

No one is perfect, least of all me... I do not need to... nor should I try to correct other people. But I do call a spade a spade. You came in bulldozing and are calming down... good... I guess you learned something... don't do that or they get you... but the fact remains... you still haven't admitted to doing anything wrong and therefore you haven't really learned a damn thing. You might try honesty here... it might be refreshing to us.

(in reply to RchmdServiceNeed)

Post #: 35

RE: All you smart Ladies - 7/2/2007 1:11:24 AM

wandersalone

Posts: 4666
Joined: 11/21/2005
Status: offline

Your profile and comments on here still seem fairly vague and general.... nothing wrong with that however the less you know about yourself and what you are looking for, the harder it will be to recognise it. A few questions for you (to ask and answer yourself, not for us) based upon what I have read in your profile -

What is this 'community' that you mention being a member of?(online, chat rooms, real life, munches, play parties etc etc)
How will a woman fulfil your needs and desires?
How will you fulfil her needs and desires?
What do you mean when you say that you will take care of a woman?
You mention knowing 'your place' as a dom, what is this?
How will you know when you have met a woman who knows her place?

Once again, these are simply questions for you to ask yourself, it may assist you to know how to respond to questions that interested people may ask you however there are no magic tips to make yourself irresistible ...otherwise no one would be here for more than a day.

_____________________________

Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter. Martin Luther King
Godmother of the subbie mafia
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http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=2002501
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(in reply to DominantJim)

Post #: 36

RE: All you smart Ladies - 7/2/2007 4:59:21 AM

MissOchistic

Posts: 315
Joined: 4/30/2007
Status: offline

While we're having this logical discussion, all Male Doms really just want a big rubber cock in the booty. I should know, I'm a slave girl.

_____________________________

"The amount i care for Thee
is more than two, but less than three."

"Submission is a potlatch."

(in reply to wandersalone)

Post #: 37

RE: All you smart Ladies - 7/3/2007 2:43:23 PM

DominantJim

Posts: 43
Joined: 6/28/2007
Status: offline

Lockit while I appreciate your crass honesty...its becoming a little bit of a rubber cock in the ass now. At what point after my explanation have I continued to be this man who is only looking to use women. And why do you say you're not looking for an arguement when clearly NOW you're looking to start something. If you don't like me thats fine, don't talk to me and don't answer my posts unless you have something constructive to say. I'm not pointing the finger at anyone and I have not been putting down the subs at all. I clearly explained my motives and my reasons for writing what I did to begin with. I even respected your opinion and took it with a grain. Now you're just trying to piss me off and its working, so back off. I'm not here to get into arguements either just to meet people and ask questions. If you feel the need to pick at someones wording and statements go somewhere else because I think everyone will agree its not welcome here. We're supposed to be a community of people supporting each other and our fetishes and feelings that are different from the regular world. We're supposed to help each other not hurt one another or keep a suspicious vigilante eye on someone that you think is 'not one of you'. This entire thing rotates around one desire, sex. Sex is the main drive here, and everything even regular vanilla healthy relationships revolve around it. My point is don't make me out to be the bad guy because you need someone to point a finger at. I'm here for a good time and to have some fun and chats with people who feel the same as me about this small community. Please respect me as I respect you, thank you.

(in reply to MissOchistic)

Post #: 38

RE: All you smart Ladies - 7/3/2007 2:50:55 PM

BitaTruble

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DominantJim

We're supposed to help each other not hurt one another or keep a suspicious vigilante eye on someone that you think is 'not one of you'. This entire thing rotates around one desire, sex. Sex is the main drive here, and everything even regular vanilla healthy relationships revolve around it.

Just an FYI: this entire 'thing' does not rotate around a single desire, sex, for everyone, myself included. I'm sure you didn't mean to speak for everyone and I just wanted to point out that such a statement is inaccurate and/or naive.

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

(in reply to DominantJim)

Post #: 39

RE: All you smart Ladies - 7/3/2007 2:59:50 PM

slaverosebeauty

Posts: 1941
Joined: 12/12/2004
From: Cali
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DominantJim
...My question is what should I do to make myself irrisistable to the women on a site like this where most men abuse the system just to get laid. I am sincere in my quest to find a woman or women for me.

I'm a slave, us female bottoms will help you out, just ask, sheesh.

Your profile is retorical, at least the part about you being a dom; add more information about you, fill in your interests, I know tha when I was looking a man with BDSM interests was always a plus, as it gave a place to start and to see if we were compatable as to what was enjoyed or not. Add a current picture of yourself, change the font the colour, show some personality.

Remember your profile is your first impression if she is brousing through the profiles, if you contact her, she will look at your page, give her something to say and something to make you stand out from the crowd. Also, remember your age is goign to be a factor to some, so just keep that in mind, I'm not saying lie abut your age, I'm just saying, be aware that your lack of experience may come into things.

Saying that you want something decrete reads to me like you want to be the 'other man' in an affair or along those lines.

As for insulting those of us with Masters, bite me. Respect is earned, not given. If you want respect from slaves or submissives who are in relationships, then be respectfull. We will tell you what makes a great 1st impsression and what doesn't.

< Message edited by slaverosebeauty -- 7/3/2007 3:04:40 PM >

_____________________________

http://slaverosebeauty.livejournal.com/

"Friends live on in our hearts, regardless if they are here or not."

(in reply to DominantJim)

Post #: 40

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