RE: Sought submissive, but am considering a slave.

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RE: Sought submissive, but am considering a slave. - 7/1/2007 10:15:18 PM

Slavetrainer2007

Posts: 231
Joined: 12/2/2006
Status: offline

OP: If you try to be someone your not for the sake of having a relationship( or keeping one togather) you will probably end up quite miserable. I experienced this first hand. Its not worth the effort if you have to be anyone but you. If you can be you and she can be her and it works, then great. If one of you have to be something your not, its doomed to fail at some point.

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Life is given, Everything else is earned.

(in reply to Trampler)

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Post #: 21

RE: Sought submissive, but am considering a slave. - 7/2/2007 4:14:02 PM

missshy

Posts: 2
Joined: 7/2/2007
Status: offline

hello i am new hear and am a submissive not a slave can we please chat i am from england

(in reply to mnottertail)

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Post #: 22

RE: Sought submissive, but am considering a slave. - 7/2/2007 6:44:03 PM

proudsub

Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: missshy

hello i am new hear and am a submissive not a slave can we please chat i am from england

Welcome to the forums missshy. You may want to post on the introduction forum, tell us a little about yourself there.

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proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan

(in reply to missshy)

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Post #: 23

RE: Sought submissive, but am considering a slave. - 7/3/2007 3:12:22 AM

MasterScotsWill

Posts: 17
Joined: 7/2/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: susie

When I first met my Master I was completely new to the lifestyle with no real life experience at all. He had owned a submissive before me. They were incredibly happy up until her untimely death. When we first made contact I was always asking how they used to do things. What did he do to her, how did they live etc. He has never discussed their D/s lives with me always giving the same answer "you are not her". We have been together for 3 years next weekend and have lived and settled into the D/s relationship that suits us. We do not have the same relationship that he had with her because we are different people. He has done things with me that he has never done with anyone else and I am sure there are things he has done with others he will not do with me. No two relationships will ever be the same and trying to make a relationship fit a "blueprint" from another relationship is a receipe for disaster. Time and open communication is the most important thing to make sure you are both clear about what you want. Don't make the mistake of trying to change anything to be like something else.

I agree with Susie you need to start a fresh realationship not one based on what has past.

(in reply to susie)

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Post #: 24

RE: Sought submissive, but am considering a slave. - 7/3/2007 5:41:50 AM

becca333

Posts: 1050
Joined: 4/11/2006
Status: offline

To the OP:

If you'd had more responses, and had a choice of several suitable partners, would you be considering this one? Are you looking at her because you really want her, or because she's all there is?

(in reply to MasterScotsWill)

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Post #: 25

RE: Sought submissive, but am considering a slave. - 7/3/2007 9:30:00 PM

jackalope

Posts: 6
Joined: 9/30/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: becca333

To the OP:

If you'd had more responses, and had a choice of several suitable partners, would you be considering this one? Are you looking at her because you really want her, or because she's all there is?

I like this question. When I placed my ad I thought carefully about the things that were important to me. These were sharper than average gal, because I wanted some one not just to play with, but someone that I could discuss things with. I do not suffer fools well.

I wanted someone that had a good degree of independence in her day-to-day life, able to deal with life if the need arose.

I wanted a person with a rational mind. In other relationships I have been involved with several women that, while they had many gifts that I enjoyed, part of their mind was missing and they could never find happiness, so I crossed off my list anyone that needed "crazy pills" or booze to deal with life.

Of the responses I got, most seemed to drift off with out even saying goodbye. Some were given a pass because I did not, or they did not think that we would make a good match.

With the slave in question, she has an understanding of her needs and her limits. Her limits are higher than I had anticipated, but I don't find this to be a problem. In other words, while shopping for a car I was pleased to find something that seems to not only meet my needs, but has many features that I could enjoy but had previously not considered.

I have also broached the topic with her that I would most likely having a considerable difference in style and method, and her reply was "Well everybody is different". This suggests to me that this girl has realistic expectations, so for now, the negotiations continue.

(in reply to becca333)

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Post #: 26

RE: Sought submissive, but am considering a slave. - 7/3/2007 10:01:34 PM

jackalope

Posts: 6
Joined: 9/30/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MadRabbit

My advice is to realign your thinking from "What rules and protocols do I need to make so this slave isnt disapointed?" to "What rules and protocols do I want and need so I am not disapointed in this slave?"

I really appreciated this response.

I am going to agree and disagree with you. I am not particulary worried with disappointing the slave, my concern is that the requisite degree of trust is established and maintained and to minimize the transition time. With particular girl, I see a lot of potential, so I wish to get her to where I want her via the best path.

(in reply to MadRabbit)

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Post #: 27

RE: Sought submissive, but am considering a slave. - 7/4/2007 12:14:11 AM

becca333

Posts: 1050
Joined: 4/11/2006
Status: offline

It's good that you're open to wider possibilities - some of the best things I've experienced have come from outside my comfort zone.

The two of you seem to be a good match, I hope it goes well. Don't try to do what her previous Master did, he is him and you are you. My Doms have been totally different in style, and each has been wonderful in his own way. If I'd kept trying to recreate a past relationship I'd have missed out on a fantastic new one, so encourage her to enjoy what you have to offer without looking back. I hope it goes well for you both.

(in reply to jackalope)

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Post #: 28