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RE: Whats love got to do with it? - 7/1/2007 9:57:29 PM   
amayos


Posts: 1553
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: New England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SeeksOnlyOne

i am curious to know how many consider love to be a part of their relationship.


I certainly do.

Love is a vital emotion in the slave; it endows servitude with solid and reliable context. Without love, I tend to question what binds a soul to serve another, outside of so many self-serving perversities. There are of course methods of programming and conditioning which may substitute for love in the right environment, but in consensual slavery, I find the emotive leash is by far the strongest. Capturing the flesh yields nothing. Capturing the heart and mind is the key to the world.



< Message edited by amayos -- 7/1/2007 9:58:05 PM >

(in reply to SeeksOnlyOne)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: whats love got to do with it? - 7/1/2007 10:29:43 PM   
winterlight


Posts: 1319
Joined: 2/18/2006
Status: offline 		Being new in the l/s and never having a Dominant yet. I cannot imagine not being in love with Him or He with me. I would rather have no relationship.
To me there being no love would be absolutely cruel.

(in reply to viperess)
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RE: whats love got to do with it? - 7/1/2007 10:33:45 PM   
shyinini


Posts: 550
Joined: 5/4/2007
Status: offline 		fast and my only reply....
 
maybe I am just a sour puss, but my Sir agree's.... love is over rated.
 
Sir's girl

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A Man who always seeks to be the best He can be for you
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RE: whats love got to do with it? - 7/1/2007 11:37:13 PM   
jauntyone


Posts: 543
Joined: 2/27/2007
From: Anchorage Alaska
Status: offline 		Greetings
 
Love has a great deal to do with our relationship. I would not be with Master if I did not love him; I fell in love with him long before our relationship ever became one of Master/slave. If the love was to die, so would the relationship.
 
I wish you well
 
melissa

(in reply to SeeksOnlyOne)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: whats love got to do with it? - 7/2/2007 5:52:07 AM   
sambamanslilgirl


Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline 		with Daddy, love is an action verb so He does more than expresses the emotion ...He shows how much He cares for me every day ...and vice versa, i do the same back to Him

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(in reply to SeeksOnlyOne)
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RE: whats love got to do with it? - 7/2/2007 5:59:46 AM   
sweetnurseBBW


Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline 		Love is very much a part of our relationship. I think it depends on what the parties involved are seeking if love is a part of the relationship. For me to share so deeply with someone I need to feel loved and love back. We both love each other deeply and it only strengthens our relationship.

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Sir Pain's pain slut

(in reply to SeeksOnlyOne)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: whats love got to do with it? - 7/2/2007 6:06:08 AM   
kittinSol


Posts: 16926
Status: offline 		Love is a prerequisite to any physical relationship to me; without love, I would feel nothing but repulsion at the hands of another.

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Profile   Post #: 27
RE: whats love got to do with it? - 7/2/2007 6:10:19 AM   
Domspaintoy


Posts: 158
Joined: 2/25/2007
Status: offline 		Love, Respect, Need, Want, Desire, Lust, Passion, Urgency, Commitment, Supremely Simple and Deeply Erotic, it just gets better and on a much deeper level than i ever anticipated or expected.

As with most intimate and meaningful relationships i believe its a natural progression whether its required, expected or needed at some stage people realise and accept its there.

IMO anyway.

dpt.

(in reply to SeeksOnlyOne)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: whats love got to do with it? - 7/2/2007 6:16:30 AM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		It's complicated. What do you mean when you say "love" for example? Most people mean "romantic love". To me, what society promotes as romantic love is negatively codependent at best and emotionally/psychologically destructive at worst. I hesitate to have that kind of love in any relationship now and am working to learn what a healthy display of romantic love would be for me.

Do I love my houshold? Yes. Is it romantic love? No. The negative RL mentioned above would corrode and destroy it, in my opinion. Would the positive kind have a place? I dunno...I'm still working on it.

Master Fire


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RE: whats love got to do with it? - 7/2/2007 6:18:10 AM   
imthatacheyouhav


Posts: 1259
Joined: 4/16/2007
Status: offline 		Love IS the relationship where Master and i are concerned. I am not sure how common it is, i haven't been around the lifestyle long enough to know that yet



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*if you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything*
**collared July 22 2007 by LordKen**

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RE: whats love got to do with it? - 7/2/2007 6:19:37 AM   
beargonewild


Posts: 22716
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		It is from my POV that Love has everything to do with it and Love has nothing to do with it. In many realtionships, Love is the esscense that which keeps the dynamic progresssing and for many, it's the shared interests and compatibility uncomplicated by love which fuels the dynamic.

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Profile   Post #: 31
RE: whats love got to do with it? - 7/2/2007 6:28:37 AM   
MaamJay


Posts: 2101
Joined: 9/2/2005
Status: offline 		i love Master and He loves me ... and that is romantic as in being "in love" as well as "loving". As a Domme I would expect to love My sub/slave, but not necessarily be "in romantic love" with them, especially if it's a girl rather than a boy.

Maam Jay aka violet[A]

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Life is a song ... and I love singing it! (By me!)

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RE: whats love got to do with it? - 7/2/2007 6:30:21 AM   
BoiJen


Posts: 2608
Joined: 3/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SeeksOnlyOne

i am curious to know how many consider love to be a part of their relationship.  i see many great, different perspectives on different issues within the dynamic, but seldom hear this mentioned.  is it because it is uncommon?


I see a lot of comparisson to vanilla relationships. Vanilla relationships are almost completely based on romantic love and in the case of a power dynamic that is not always the case. Romantic love is not a requirement for a strictly power based relationship. Many people make it a requirement due to their own ideas of how relationships must work. However it's not an actual requirement for any physical or emotional need to be met.

Freud stated hat the heirarchy of needs includes love but he was not specific to romantic love. I think any relationship can contain love in the sense of caring deeply for another person and their needs and wants and desires and having a connection to them spiritually. I don't think all those things added up equal romantic love though. Romantic love has this idea of sweetness and fluffyness. And I can't put it any other way. Connection of personal energy doesn't require that feeling. And getting the need to be loved and cared for doesn't require romantic love.

I think the internet by far has propelled the idea of romantic love in D/s relationships beyond the actual basis of power dynamic. D/s at it's core has been romanticized so that many people are looking for a "soul mate" or an owner in shining leather and it just doesn't work that way. It's not about cuddling after a scene it's about the service oriented aspect of cleaning up after the scene. I personally believe way too many bottoms have had their way far too long (don't get on me about it I'm of the s-type persuasion myself) and that BDSM has gotten muddled down to roses and cnadle lit dinners. Call it whatever you want, I just don't like my D/s watered down with fluff.

(in reply to SeeksOnlyOne)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: whats love got to do with it? - 7/2/2007 6:47:07 AM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline 		In the old days S&M was more about anal sex and sucking cock...at least it is if you read anything written by people who actually LIVED during that time, I mean they didn't call it "rough sex" for nothing...

As for me, I could have a bdsm relationship without love but it would never be anything but a secondary thing for me.  My primary relationship must have love, romantic and otherwise, or I am just not going to be that interested.  Lucky for me, I have it all.

(in reply to BoiJen)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: whats love got to do with it? - 7/2/2007 7:00:38 AM   
Donnalee


Posts: 339
Joined: 7/15/2006
Status: offline 		Of course love isn't necessary for sex....or a sexual relationship, but it adds to the chemisty of a good one. 

I'm at my best when I'm loving my partner...it fills me with such a strong desire to please and motivates me like nothing else could.  I want to push and pull and stretch and grow for him so much more.  I can take in more and give more.   No threat of punishment compares to my desire to please and not disappoint when I'm loving.

BTW...Nice new pic, SimplyMicahel.

(in reply to SimplyMichael)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: whats love got to do with it? - 7/2/2007 7:05:37 AM   
loverly


Posts: 236
Joined: 1/23/2004
Status: offline 		love... what a wonderful emotion and feeling.. i truely believe with all MY heart that there can and should be love in an M/s relationship...if it is to be lasting and strong.. two ppl coming together to feed one anothers kinks is fine but in the end that is all it is.. two people coming together to feed each others hearts and desires and dreams.. well thats what it is really about! what can be a stronger bond than the adoration and giving of a complete heart to another .. wishing to make them THE happiest they have ever dreamed possiable? i couldnt do that to the best of my ability if i did not worship and love my Master.. and He me.. i wouldnt wish to .i could certianly clean His house.. and do his laundry and even submitt in the bedroom or dungeon and defere to Him.. but it wouldnt be the same and i have a need to be Completly owned and cherished HEART Mind body and SOUL.That just doesnt happen without love! ... how can one say they are true and totally honest and think of their One if that person is not in their hearts constantly? and isnt that love? to believe you would stand by Him/her no matter what ? devotion.. loyalty.. love .. one feeds off the other in a complete circle..l other wise.. as has been said here by others.. ( imo) it is all am empty game that feeds only a persons KINK.. not the soul..

Capturing the flesh yields nothing. Capturing the heart and mind is the key to the world.
too true are these words! wish i would have said that! lol  thank You Amayos.. :-)

lovelygrl
*just my humble opinion for what its worth**

(in reply to SimplyMichael)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: whats love got to do with it? - 7/2/2007 8:11:33 AM   
BrutalMasterOne


Posts: 53
Joined: 4/8/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

In the old days S&M was more about anal sex and sucking cock...at least it is if you read anything written by people who actually LIVED during that time, I mean they didn't call it "rough sex" for nothing...

As for me, I could have a bdsm relationship without love but it would never be anything but a secondary thing for me.  My primary relationship must have love, romantic and otherwise, or I am just not going to be that interested.  Lucky for me, I have it all.
Being old enough to remember the "old days" I can guarantee it was not just about those two thing. It was and as I see it still is about CONTROL!!!! and about OWNERSHIP!!! Love has little to do with it. Some folks need to submit others to own. Love complicates things and makes it hard to take total ownership.. yet without saying "love" one can show it.

(in reply to SimplyMichael)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: whats love got to do with it? - 7/2/2007 9:18:56 AM   
Celeste43


Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline 		Essential here. If he didn't love me, then it wouldn't matter to him if I stayed or not and he might feel free to do things that I would never forgive. He would then go hunting for another bottom but I'd be left gunshy forever.

I made it clear upfront that I was not going to be the only person vulnerable here.

(in reply to viperess)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: whats love got to do with it? - 7/2/2007 9:36:30 AM   
colkron


Posts: 11
Joined: 4/30/2007
Status: offline 		How can I let him SEE me like that and not trust him? How can I let that part of me out in the sunshine in a hostile environment? I was in a non loving relationship (on his part) for 7 years, and it left me empty. While I offered my body to him, he had no desire to know the mind, which I offered as well. I offered my heart and it was rejected for some reason I do not understand. Talk about masochism!!!

(in reply to Celeste43)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: whats love got to do with it? - 7/2/2007 9:54:54 AM   
LadyOpinx


Posts: 35
Joined: 5/30/2007
Status: offline 		I think it is possible to do things "in Love" without being  "IN Love"

I have Love for my submissive, and the actions I take with him are born out of a place of Love.  But I am not "in love" with him.

I just started being skeptical about there being such a thing as True Romanic Love this past year.  Up until then I believed I had a soulmate somewhere. 

Now I am just concentrating on being a good Domme to my sub (or subs someday) and laying Myself at the Feet of Fate on the Love issue.

*Bright Blessings*

Linda


_____________________________

"Every person, all the events in your life are there because you have drawn them there...What you choose to do with them is up to you." ~~~Richard Bach, "Illusions"

(in reply to colkron)
Profile   Post #: 40
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