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RE: whats love got to do with it? - 7/2/2007 11:59:25 AM

Grlwithboy

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For me, in D/s romantic love is OK. In M/s I can't understand how romantic love enters into it. I've never introduced anything but confusion in introducing romantic love into an Ownership. Platonic, passionate, deep love, yes, but not Romantic.

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RE: whats love got to do with it? - 7/2/2007 12:46:28 PM

SeeksOnlyOne

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i had a long marriage, and i guess in ways, i will always love him.....even though we grew apart and it ended on a very sour note....he was my first true love and is the father of my son.....

having thought about this a lot, i think, as of this moment, i could accept the intensity of a D/s relationship without love now, but i could never go back to just love and not have the intensity i have felt in the D/s dynamic.....

of course i am a female and this may change in 10 minutes....i doubt that though......

and i am glad i have found contentment being alone and just living a happy single life.....i suspect its gonna be that way for a long time

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RE: whats love got to do with it? - 7/2/2007 6:14:45 PM

behindmirrors

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SeeksOnlyOne

i am curious to know how many consider love to be a part of their relationship. i see many great, different perspectives on different issues within the dynamic, but seldom hear this mentioned. is it because it is uncommon?

Love isn't just part of it for me- it was a prerequisite. I was in love with the man who is now my Master well before I became his slave- and I don't think I could have made that committment to him otherwise.

behindmirrors.

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RE: whats love got to do with it? - 7/2/2007 8:15:40 PM

becca333

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Domspaintoy

Love, Respect, Need, Want, Desire, Lust, Passion, Urgency, Commitment, Supremely Simple and Deeply Erotic, it just gets better and on a much deeper level than i ever anticipated or expected.

As with most intimate and meaningful relationships i believe its a natural progression whether its required, expected or needed at some stage people realise and accept its there.

IMO anyway.

dpt.

I totally agree. I'd add trust and frankness.

As a sub I need to feel valued and cared for before I can totally trust. This might not be romantic love as a vanilla defines it, but all of the above emotions definitely are a kind of love.

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RE: whats love got to do with it? - 7/2/2007 8:20:42 PM

AquaticSub

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SeeksOnlyOne

i am curious to know how many consider love to be a part of their relationship. i see many great, different perspectives on different issues within the dynamic, but seldom hear this mentioned. is it because it is uncommon?

Count Valyraen and I in. If love, or potential for love, isn't part of the equation, we just aren't interested. D/s isn't about love for everyone, but it definately is for us.

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RE: whats love got to do with it? - 7/2/2007 8:38:09 PM

goodgirl85

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My last D/s relationship had a lot to do with love... which is why i was stupid to hold on for so long, even though I knew it was over... I kept thinking maybe Hell come around.

My current "relationship" isn't a relationship really other than that he is my dom and I am his submissive. I have come to care for him, and am pretty sure the feeling is mutual. I trust him, I like him, I enjoy spending time with him. But am I in love with him... no.

And at the first signs that I am falling in love, or think I am, I will either ask to take a break for awhile, or end things completly. Our "arrangement" will end someday, as to when, is up in the air... whenever we get sick of each other I guess. Love is not part of the agreement.

Between these two relationships, I find that I actually am more willing and more at ease with new activites, and scenes in my current rather than my last. My dom says thats because I loved him, and I couldn't stand the thought of him seeing me acting so "naughty". That I wanted to learn to be his slut only because it pleased him... and neither of us had any regard for my pleasure. Maybe he is right, he often is.

Maybe my former wasn't meant to be the one to teach me. Who knows. So different are the dynamics of these two relationships that its hard to tell why it is easier for me now. I have talked to many who married their Dom/sub. Love is very much a part of a lot of BDSM relationships.

I once talked to someone who was poly and married. His wife was his pet, but his girls were his subs. In his way of this lifestyle, Once married a wife has more choice, is more equal, and is therefore no longer a sub/slave but a pet. Shrugs... If I were to marry a future Dom of mine, it would only strengthen that fact that I am his. --

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RE: whats love got to do with it? - 7/2/2007 8:49:08 PM

BOUNTYHUNTER

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"What does love have to do with this slave"?a favorite tag line of mine,Nothing at all...Of course just this ol' masters way of doing things..bounty

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RE: whats love got to do with it? - 7/2/2007 11:50:24 PM

angelslave77

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This question has very much been on my mind lately too.
I fell in love with Master and he with me and it caught us both off guard, it was meant to be a ongoing play/casual arrangement type thing and it began as a friendship but developed into so much more which just makes everything seem more intense. But I actually said to him, I wasnt meant to feel this way was I to which he answered no, but then told me he loved also. I feel that in him I have found someone I have been searching for , for a long time.

But I can see how a D/s could work without love would probably be less complicated too, emotions make things messy at times. But I think the bottom line is that if you both (or all as the case may be) agree and if it works then whether it is love or not doesnt really matter.

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RE: whats love got to do with it? - 7/3/2007 12:46:27 AM

CuriousLord

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Not having read over the responses yet..

I rather doubt people feel compelled to mention either the presense or absense of love in their relationships in such a setting under typical circumstance. Some posts I read over, more often from the sadism/masochism-heavy relationships, it might be obvious that a relationship lacks love, which often strikes me as odd for a moment before a faint shrug.

As for myself? My relationship is a loving one. Nonetheless, this one is mine, and as I'm often protective of such an issue, I'm often at odds with the notion of discussing a current relationship. Further, I am unlikely to discuss a previous relationship in loving terms as many have often ended on a less-than-loving note.

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RE: whats love got to do with it? - 7/3/2007 12:28:43 PM

meticulousgirl

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i dont think love has to be apart of it. Even though i may love my Master love isn't apart of ours infact it's honestly a different kind of love. i just dont think it's a necessary factor in what we practice.

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RE: whats love got to do with it? - 7/3/2007 12:31:10 PM

sleazybutterfly

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Love is very much a part of our M/s relationship and I hope it always will be. If I am going to serve another along with Master (which is very possible), I am not sure if it will include love or not. I am sure I will have respect for her and on some level I might love her, but I don't think it will be the same as it is with Master and I. I will never say "never" though, I have learned that along the way.

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RE: whats love got to do with it? - 7/3/2007 4:46:45 PM

santalia

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SeeksOnlyOne

i am curious to know how many consider love to be a part of their relationship. i see many great, different perspectives on different issues within the dynamic, but seldom hear this mentioned. is it because it is uncommon?

Greetings

i know it's not like this for everyone, and some can get by in a relationship with someone without love for or from the other person. But, if i didn't love my Master, i couldn't be His.

There was a time when i said i could be happy with someone i didn't love. But, i now know this isn't true. i have to love the One i'm with to be His...and i love my Master with all my heart. :)

Well wishes

-santalia{JR}

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RE: whats love got to do with it? - 7/3/2007 5:02:14 PM

WhiplashSmile

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When it comes down to Love and BDSM relationships, it can complicate things with or without it. Both people have to been on the same wave length when it comes to this. The thing is how this effects the dynamics and the personalities involved.

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RE: whats love got to do with it? - 7/4/2007 12:05:29 AM

SirGordonslil

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I love my Master.. fullstop.
istnt any other way for me.
without His love I wouldnt do the things I do to the extent I do,
His love protects me when W/we scene with others, His love nurtures me into new and exciting areas, His love makes me want to strive and be better in all areas of O/our life.
gotta love love!
~~lil~~

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