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titles - 7/2/2007 10:02:34 AM

pleasureforck

Posts: 95
Joined: 7/2/2007
Status: offline

My bf does not want me to call him Master or Sir. He also says I should call him my bf. It feels natural for us to call each other our pet names (baby and honey)we've always had before I submitted and he wants it that way. I see on here that no one uses the term bf/gf and wonder if its odd to do. This is his decision and I don't feel I should question it but feel kind of embarrassed to say it on here since it's not the norm. Thanks for any input.

Post #: 1

RE: titles - 7/2/2007 10:09:19 AM

Aileen68

Posts: 6091
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline

If it feels natural to you then that's the right thing. It shouldn't matter to anyone else what you two decide to call each other and it shouldn't matter what anyone else calls each other. There is no normal, no right or wrong. I call mine by his name. Master or sir would feel incredibly awkward for me.

(in reply to pleasureforck)

Post #: 2

RE: titles - 7/2/2007 10:18:09 AM

GhitaAmati

Posts: 3263
Joined: 5/30/2007
Status: offline

I call my husband by his first name, I refer to him as my husband. Its what he is. Use what ever title the two of you feel comfortable, and the actual "word" you use means nothing compared to the thought and meaning using it holds for you.

ghita

(in reply to Aileen68)

Post #: 3

RE: titles - 7/2/2007 10:19:23 AM

BitaTruble

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: pleasureforck

My bf does not want me to call him Master or Sir. He also says I should call him my bf. It feels natural for us to call each other our pet names (baby and honey)we've always had before I submitted and he wants it that way. I see on here that no one uses the term bf/gf and wonder if its odd to do. This is his decision and I don't feel I should question it but feel kind of embarrassed to say it on here since it's not the norm. Thanks for any input.

Don't worry about it, pleasure. Whatever works for the two of you and however he wants you to refer to him is just fine. If you want to specify that you're are speaking about a D/s relationship on the boards, you can always call him your dominant b/f if he doesn't take issue with such but realistically, most people here already are aware that it's pretty much BDSM, D/s or M/s based relationships about which we speak and write. When someone is speaking of something other than D/s, they will usually qualify it as vanilla (or whatever else it may be) because that's 'not' the norm here.

Welcome to the boards.

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

(in reply to pleasureforck)

Post #: 4

RE: titles - 7/2/2007 10:27:20 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

I use partner because it's generic and there are a lot of levels of our relationship that are not "boyfriend/girlfriend." But describing our relationship to random people or his older friends, we often use "girlfriend/boyfriend."

Here, most relationships are built on or primarily focused on the authority dynamic, so the egalitarian terms bf/gf don't often apply.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to Aileen68)

Post #: 5

RE: titles - 7/2/2007 10:28:26 AM

LordVelvet

Posts: 311
Joined: 4/25/2006
Status: offline

Aileen you can call Me anything you want

(in reply to Aileen68)

Post #: 6

RE: titles - 7/2/2007 11:58:38 AM

pleasureforck

Posts: 95
Joined: 7/2/2007
Status: offline

Thank you for your responses. I feel at home here already. I am very glad I found you all.

_____________________________

I'd rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I am not

(in reply to LordVelvet)

Post #: 7

RE: titles - 7/2/2007 12:10:11 PM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

Me, on the other hand, you will address as:
iRon: interTubelian Master of the interGallactic interStellar Nebulae...

None of that snookums shit for me.

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to pleasureforck)

Post #: 8

RE: titles - 7/2/2007 12:47:32 PM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline

If he's the Dominant and you're submitting to him, you should call him whatever he requests. It doesn't matter that it's not the norm.

Master Fire

_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to pleasureforck)

Post #: 9

RE: titles - 7/2/2007 12:50:57 PM

littleone35

Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline

Well i call Master, Master but he is also my b/f . For me it was natural for me to call him Master when i submitted to him. As long as the two of you are happy is should not matter what you call him.

Matt's littleone

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)

Post #: 10

RE: titles - 7/2/2007 12:52:51 PM

imthatacheyouhav

Posts: 1259
Joined: 4/16/2007
Status: offline

i call my bf Master. Yes i do view Him as my bf who also happens to be my Master....
calling Master by His 1st name is not forbidden to me, but it also doesn't feel natural to me. When i'm feeling particularly frisky i'll call Him Master pretty boy...LOL...this always makes Him smile....

_____________________________

*if you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything*
**collared July 22 2007 by LordKen**

(in reply to pleasureforck)

Post #: 11

RE: titles - 7/2/2007 12:55:18 PM

pleasureforck

Posts: 95
Joined: 7/2/2007
Status: offline

I am happy how it is, just wondered on here if it was odd. I wouldn't feel comfortable calling him Master or Sir .

_____________________________

I'd rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I am not

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)

Post #: 12

RE: titles - 7/2/2007 12:57:53 PM

RCdc

Posts: 8674
Status: offline

Darcy is Master of me, and I call him my Boy. What you call a person is personal and means something special to you both. Don't worry about what others.
Welcome to CM, pleasure - btw....

Peace
the.dark.

_____________________________

RC&dc

love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to pleasureforck)

Post #: 13

RE: titles - 7/2/2007 1:05:12 PM

canupleaseme

Posts: 775
Joined: 7/9/2006
Status: offline

At first in my relationship i didnt like being called mistress at all and we didnt really have names like that for each other. Its been through playing together and building our relationship thats brought on the titles. I love being called mistress now. It feels funny when we are in public and he calls me kay (not funny in a bad way just funny). I dont think it matters what you call each other and a lot of the time on boards I guess we refer to our partners with the titles mistress or boy or whatever becasue then others know who your talkn about and get a brief idea of your situation. Well thats how I always look at it.

_____________________________

Proud mistress

(in reply to RCdc)

Post #: 14

RE: titles - 7/2/2007 1:11:57 PM

Obsidiansnamaste

Posts: 266
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline

i call Master, Master or Sir. To vanilla people He is my bf or SO or "Big Daddy" (a term that some have given Him) The only person i refer to Him by first name to is my mother, although she's heard me refer to Him as Sir on the phone.

i think its all personal and in an Ownership dynamic, it's dictated usually by the Owner anyway. Some Owners don't desire a title or honorarium. And i know female Dominants that prefer "Sir" or "Master" ~smile~ Anything works.

_____________________________

Always in His service,

~Master Obsidians namaste
http://houseobsidian.wordpress.com
http://his-namaste.livejournal.com

(in reply to canupleaseme)

Post #: 15

RE: titles - 7/2/2007 1:13:26 PM

subitodolce

Posts: 39
Joined: 6/20/2007
Status: offline

My Sir is my boyfriend. In general public, that is how I refer to him. Since most of our friends don't know the full nature of our relationship, it is wonderful fun to call him "sir" in passing, such as responding with a "yessir?" and such. It makes him smile.

I think it more depends on the nature of your relationship. Do you view the relationship as actually "dating" the person? (Do you go out to dinner/movie/social events?) Or are you more of the M/s or D/s relationship? Talk to your Dominant about the situation. :-)

(in reply to canupleaseme)

Post #: 16

RE: titles - 7/2/2007 1:54:57 PM

proudsub

Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: GhitaAmati

I call my husband by his first name, I refer to him as my husband. Its what he is. Use what ever title the two of you feel comfortable, and the actual "word" you use means nothing compared to the thought and meaning using it holds for you.

ghita

Ditto. He also doesn't want to be called Master or Sir.

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan

(in reply to GhitaAmati)

Post #: 17

RE: titles - 7/2/2007 4:03:29 PM

Evanesce

Posts: 2325
Joined: 9/14/2005
Status: offline

I call my husband "Sir." It's the only thing that feels comfortable to me. If I'm referring to Him in speaking to someone else, I will use Master, the Kaptin, or The Man. Only around His family do I use His given name, and it's never the shortened "Mike," that His family uses. It's always Michael. Always. And even that feels unnatural to me.

Of course, there are those times when it's just the two of us, and the "real" names come out.

_____________________________

Denise

Give a slave what he truly needs, and he will do what you want.

"There's never a hero in a battle of ego." - Big & Rich

(in reply to proudsub)

Post #: 18

RE: titles - 7/2/2007 5:29:28 PM

behindmirrors

Posts: 340
Joined: 8/5/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: pleasureforck

My bf does not want me to call him Master or Sir. He also says I should call him my bf. It feels natural for us to call each other our pet names (baby and honey)we've always had before I submitted and he wants it that way. I see on here that no one uses the term bf/gf and wonder if its odd to do. This is his decision and I don't feel I should question it but feel kind of embarrassed to say it on here since it's not the norm. Thanks for any input.

Welcome to CM, pleasureforck! I hope you enjoy your time here.

To answer your questions:

I refer to my significant other as my "Master" only on these boards, because that is an easily understood term here- but I have never once called him "Master" in our interactions together. Not to sound pretentious, but it does go a little beyond "Master and slave" for us, as our relationship has many more aspects than just that- as do those of many others on these boards and in life as well. To me, he is also my "travel partner" in life, my Mentor, Teacher, Love- and we consider our being together more of a "trade agreement" than a "boyfriend/girlfriend" thing- although that is a part of it, too. In short, my parents know him as my boyfriend, our friends know us as an "item", but don't exactly know how to define our interactions, and those "in the know" understand that I am deeply devoted to him in all ways, and that he is (as was so eloquently put in an introduction of us made yesterday) "in charge of" me.

To me, he is too many things to single out one descriptive title by which to call him, save one: Dearest- for that is what he is to me. I call him that or by his given name in our relationship together- and he refers to me in similar terms as well- although sometimes it's just fun for him to say "slave", too- that's a thrill that goes both ways.

Your relationship exists with him regardless of how you define it- be it boyfriend/girlfriend, Master/slave, or any variation thereof. You both know who is in charge, and you both know your feelings for one another- those are the important things- and no one here can negate that. So, don't feel awkward- just accept that the definitions, regardless of what they are, are rarely adequate in describing all that there is between you- and that if it's different than what most on here say, that doesn't matter one bit.

Hope this helps-
behindmirrors.

(in reply to pleasureforck)

Post #: 19

RE: titles - 7/2/2007 5:55:55 PM

sambamanslilgirl

Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline

in private He's called Daddy however in public and when i call the office, it's Dr *insert last name*. He does get the occasional "Sir" when doing that authorative voice ...like what others have said - it doesn't matter what we say as long as it feels right for your relationship.

_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...

...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to behindmirrors)

Post #: 20

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