RE: "Do terrible experiences make for terrible people?" Nietzsche

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: "Do terrible experiences make for terrible people?" Nietzsche

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Off the Grid >> RE: "Do terrible experiences make for terrible people?" Nietzsche

Page: << < prev 1 [2]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: "Do terrible experiences make for terrible peo... - 7/3/2007 9:17:25 AM

SeeksOnlyOne

Posts: 2012
Joined: 5/14/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Faramir

Feeling a little tender? You do seem to identify with bitter, vindictive subs.

Anyway, no one has said anything lately about MR--I am sure he is speaking in a general sense. When a female submissive posts here about a negative experience, or about doubts, the vast majority of female subs responding assume that the OP has been victimized in some way, and express contempt for the presumed violator/predator.

Likewise, while a minority of male doms say the same thing, to whit: "Teh lifestyle is full of predaters you must be careful many r fakes, wannabees and dangerous (not like me, I'm so different and speshul)," the majority voice something excuplatory or a rejection of a rush to judgement.

We project ourselves into those roles based on gender, and since we are "good," then given the negative experience, it couldn't be our fault, the "other" must be "bad." It's a good example of how we onconsciously center our dialogue and our horizon of expectation on ourselves. Just a human trait.

i really havent seen that behavior......it mostly runs from good luck dealing with your pain, to you handed him the instrument and he played it, move on and learn.....i cant recall many hes just a bastard and youre the sweet innocent chickie responses.

just on the threads i read at least........we may be drawn to different ones because of our interests.....

i hope, as adults, we all realize that ultimately, we are the only ones responsible for who we choose to give our emotions to....

_____________________________

it aint no good til it hurts just a little bit....jimmy somerville

in those moments of solitude, does everyone sometimes think they are insane? or is it just me?

(in reply to Faramir)

Profile

Post #: 21

RE: "Do terrible experiences make for terrible peo... - 7/3/2007 9:50:42 AM

becca333

Posts: 1050
Joined: 4/11/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrssPassion

quote:

ORIGINAL: becca333

quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrssPassion

oh good grief charlie brown... ya'll didn't toss enough at each other on the other thread so you gotta drag it to other areas... both of you need a time out (or maybe some hot monkey love sex to work the tension out)

http://www.collarchat.com/m_1120349/tm.htm

Quite possibly. But oh dear god most definitely not with each other.

yes... with each other...

you're already having a go at each other like an old married couple, might as well consummate the misery

You are a cruel, cruel woman.

(in reply to MstrssPassion)

Profile

Post #: 22

RE: "Do terrible experiences make for terrible peo... - 7/3/2007 10:04:04 AM

MadRabbit

Posts: 3460
Joined: 8/9/2006
Status: offline

I left this somewhat vague to see how people would take it. Some people got the point, others...well...

Lets just say I wanted to see who stick to the point expressed in the few words I wrote and who would draw assumption based on things I didnt say.

The main behavior I was talking about was the off the wall conclusions people make in regards to posts that provide really ZERO information to support the opinions. In the end, they are really subjective to the poster's own prejudiced opinion based on whatever handful of bad experiences they have had in the past.

Personally, no one has said any bad things about me or really tryed to label me as a "Bad Dom" (Exlcuding one who mistook a point I was trying to make in another thread as a personal attack). However, when I reflect back on, some past relationships that happened in a very low time in my life, when I did and said things I regret, the ex significant other could very well make a good post on this website that would label me as the lowest of the low.

I can reflect back on some past relationships of my own where the bad experience was caused by the other partner. I find my own perspectives and opinions of them twisted and turned by hurt fealing and subjected by emotion. I could easily portray them in a bad light as a terrible person based on the experiences they put me threw, but if I keep an objective stance, I know thats not true.

If one were to reflect back on all the threads regarding negative experiences with Dominants, one could easily take the perspective that the only true, good Dominants are the ones who post on Collarme.com and everyone else is the lowest of the low considering the conclusions that are constantly drawn.

Is it so ridicoulous to think that perhaps some of these negative experiences are caused by simply average joes with their own set of imperfections? Is it so ludicrious to think that the entire world isnt populated by predators and cheaters and low lifes who are just waiting to snatch up all the horrible submissives....and that perhaps this perspection that we constantly take here is simply twisted by bad experiences of imperfect men (and women) who have made some horrible mistakes?

Personally, reading all the responses to threads, it amazes me how anyone has a decent relationship or even survives in the bad world filled with cheaters, predators, posers, and "horny vanilla dudes" that seems to exist beyond the realm of this message board.

And God forbid, when someone posts here with a questionable experience, that people actually try to give some form of objective advice instead of resorting to the worst possible scenario as the absolute.

I'd be happy just to see sentence structures that simply went "Its possible that...", "Based on the information...", "Its my opinion..."

Its not my style to make posts like this nor am I intending to climb up on a moral high horse. I've had my own bad behaviors on these forums in the past. However, watching an OP have their perspective changed on a subject by people supplieing advice that only takes into account the worst case scenario brings a little sigh from me...

So let me change the topic of discussion...

I've done plenty of shitty things in my time.
I used to be quite a heavy drinker and I did some horrible things to people I care about before I went sober.
I've gotten horny in the past and had sexual encounters that I regretted because the experience left the other person hurt.

Now...do these terrible experiences that I have brought to other people in the past automatically make me a terrible person?

< Message edited by MadRabbit -- 7/3/2007 10:08:47 AM >

_____________________________

Advice for New Dominants
The Unpolitically Correct Lifestyle Definitions

Obama is NOT the Messiah! He's just a VERY NAUGHTY BOY

(in reply to SeeksOnlyOne)

Profile

Post #: 23

RE: "Do terrible experiences make for terrible peo... - 7/3/2007 10:30:14 AM

stella40

Posts: 417
Joined: 1/11/2006
From: London, UK
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MadRabbit

Now...do these terrible experiences that I have brought to other people in the past automatically make me a terrible person?

No.

_____________________________

I try to take one day at a time, but several days come and attack me at once. (Jennifer Unlimited)

If you can't be a good example then you'll just have to be a horrible warning.

(in reply to MadRabbit)

Profile

Post #: 24

RE: "Do terrible experiences make for terrible peo... - 7/3/2007 10:41:11 AM

charmdpetKeira

Posts: 916
Joined: 6/2/2007
Status: offline

quote:

Now...do these terrible experiences that I have brought to other people in the past automatically make me a terrible person?

Not unless you believe all humans are inherently evil; otherwise, it just makes you human.

k

_____________________________

Life is tough, that does not mean it isn't fair.

There is no wrong choice, only consequence.

(in reply to MadRabbit)

Profile

Post #: 25

RE: "Do terrible experiences make for terrible peo... - 7/3/2007 10:51:19 AM

MstrssPassion

Posts: 2444
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: West Palm Beach, FL
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: stella40

quote:

ORIGINAL: MadRabbit

Now...do these terrible experiences that I have brought to other people in the past automatically make me a terrible person?

No.

No but unless you have made it a point to go back, make amends, apologize, etc to each & every person that you have ever wronged then they would be within their right to call you a terrible person if they were asked what their opinion of you was. But then again, maybe they recognize the fact that you did things while under the influence & they have forgiven you in the process of their own closure & healing.

The good thing is... you've made changes because ( I assume) you recognized the need to do so. None of us can change the past & none of us can live our life if we dwell in the past because to do so prevents you from having a future.

The only thing that will earn you a title of being a terrible person is to continue down a path that you know to be bad & continue to act out toward others with no respect for them or self.

_____________________________

MstrssPassion

(in reply to stella40)

Profile

Post #: 26

RE: "Do terrible experiences make for terrible peo... - 7/3/2007 11:54:33 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: charmdpetKeira

quote:

Now...do these terrible experiences that I have brought to other people in the past automatically make me a terrible person?

Not unless you believe all humans are inherently evil; otherwise, it just makes you human.

k

Exactly. None of us are lily white, not even those of us that would like to think we are. Personally I find that particular group to be the most horrid.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to charmdpetKeira)

Profile

Post #: 27

RE: "Do terrible experiences make for terrible peo... - 7/3/2007 2:08:11 PM

charmdpetKeira

Posts: 916
Joined: 6/2/2007
Status: offline

quote:

No but unless you have made it a point to go back, make amends, apologize, etc to each & every person that you have ever wronged then they would be within their right to call you a terrible person if they were asked what their opinion of you was.

What gives them the right, his admittance that he has wronged them or their “feelings on his actions?

As long as people are giving out opinions; which are generally emotionally based at least to some extent; on other people’s actions, it looks like one big vicious circle to me.

Judging a person’s actions is one thing, judging the person, is another.

Sincerely,

k

_____________________________

Life is tough, that does not mean it isn't fair.

There is no wrong choice, only consequence.

(in reply to MstrssPassion)

Profile

Post #: 28

RE: "Do terrible experiences make for terrible peo... - 7/3/2007 4:14:48 PM

robertolapiedra

Posts: 520
Joined: 5/3/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MadRabbit

So let me change the topic of discussion...

I've done plenty of shitty things in my time.
I used to be quite a heavy drinker and I did some horrible things to people I care about before I went sober.
I've gotten horny in the past and had sexual encounters that I regretted because the experience left the other person hurt.

Now...do these terrible experiences that I have brought to other people in the past automatically make me a terrible person?

Hello MadRabbit. Everybody has been a "bad person" and "hurt" people at one time or another. A "bad" person is mostly seen as one with no conscience (regret) or no intention of changing his/her "hurting" habits (predation).

I find there are mostly three things going on in the "support" mode of "good" persons when they post. One is validation, the other is approval and last, "acquital" of responsability (dismissal of accountability).

After all, who would want to support a "bad" person. RL.

(in reply to MadRabbit)

Profile

Post #: 29

RE: "Do terrible experiences make for terrible peo... - 7/3/2007 7:42:36 PM

Sinergy

Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline

Kenny is reading "Singing Like Bocelli For Dummies" and doing the oral exercises.

I suspect he is going to die now.

Those bastards!

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle

(in reply to MstrssPassion)

Profile

Post #: 30

RE: "Do terrible experiences make for terrible peo... - 7/4/2007 2:04:03 AM

wandersalone

Posts: 4666
Joined: 11/21/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MadRabbit
Now...do these terrible experiences that I have brought to other people in the past automatically make me a terrible person?

No...

I sometimes get the idea that some people post when they are feeling emotionally charged/challenged and maybe this results in less than objective comments. The message boards are also very reactive and again people may post a sweeping generalisation eg. all doms are awful ... however they may only be feeling like this for one moment in time.

The main point in my own sweeping generalisation of people who post on the forums is that I have a feeling that there are no more and no less tolerant people here than there are anywhere else.

I do not necessarily believe that people are inherently good or bad, rather that they may make choices which are good/bad for them or others at that time.

_____________________________

Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter. Martin Luther King
Godmother of the subbie mafia
My all time favourite threads
http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=2002501
http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=790885

(in reply to MadRabbit)

Profile

Post #: 31

RE: "Do terrible experiences make for terrible peo... - 7/4/2007 2:13:00 AM

Vendaval

Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline

Not likely, MR, because it is always easier to look for someone to blame than to fix the problem.

_____________________________

"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE

http://KinkMeet.co.uk

(in reply to MadRabbit)

Profile

Post #: 32

RE: "Do terrible experiences make for terrible peo... - 7/4/2007 5:34:29 AM

meatcleaver

Posts: 9030
Joined: 3/13/2006
Status: offline

People have bad experiences because they have a sentimental view of what they are entering into. If a sub seeks someone for an activity with sexual content, the chances are the sub is going to attract sexual predators because that is what they are seeking. That fact is often forgotten should they fall for that predator and live happily ever. However, the chances of that happening are slim. Similarly, when dom is looking for a sub for sexual gratification, they shouldn't be surprised to find a sub that wants to leach off them. Something that is often realized once they have become bored of the physical pleasure the sub might have to offer. People should grow up and get realistic about what they are into.

_____________________________

There are fascists who consider themselves humanitarians, like cannibals on a health kick, eating only vegetarians.

(in reply to MadRabbit)

Profile

Post #: 33

RE: "Do terrible experiences make for terrible peo... - 7/4/2007 8:53:33 AM

happypervert

Posts: 2203
Joined: 5/11/2004
From: Scranton, PA
Status: offline

quote:

Do you think that one day a story that is told here regarding a negative experience with a male Dom will go without a post automatically ruling that he is in fact an asshole, a cheating bastard, a predator, a fake, a wannabe, or a HNG?

Yeah, sure, if thet complaints are coming from one of our resident female lunatics then the regulars will be skeptical about the complaints, though someone new to the boards may be tempted to sympathize and sing kumbaya with her.

And if someone writes her complaints in a manner that indicates she may be unbalanced, then the dom may be spared criticism as well.

_____________________________

"Get a bicycle. You will not regret it if you live." . . . Mark Twain

(in reply to MadRabbit)

Profile

Post #: 34